Title: A Lifestyle of Forgiveness
Text: Mathew 18:21-35
Intro: Have you ever known someone that had a problem with forgiving? Someone that held a grudge and would not let go of it. Most likely they walked around bitter and angry most of the time.
Hebrews 12:14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:
Hebrews 12:15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
Paul is saying here that you must not allow bitterness to come between us in anyway because it can destroy our, JOY, PEACE, VICTORY and our RELATIONSHIP with Christ.
ILL. Once there was a millionaire who owned a lot in an exclusive residential area of a large city. This lot presented an unusual problem. It was only 2 yards wide but nearly 100 feet long. There was nothing that he could do but sell it to one of the neighbors on either side. He went to the neighbor on one side of his lot and asks if he would be interested in buying the lot.
The neighbor said, “Well only as a favor.” Then named a ridiculously low price
The millionaire exploded. “Why that’s not even one-tenth of what it is worth!” He stormed out and went next store. To his dismay the other neighbor offered less. “Look,” said the neighbor smugly, “I’ve got you over a barrel. You can’t sell that lot to anyone else and you can’t build on it. So there’s my offer take it or leave it.”
The millionaire was beside himself with rage. Within a few days, he hired an architect and a contractor to build one of the strangest houses ever conceived. Only five feet wide running the length of his property, his house was little more than a row of tiny rooms, each barely able to accommodate a stick of furniture. The neighbors complained, but the city officials could find no codes or violations to stop the construction.
When it was finished, the millionaire moved into the uncomfortable house. There he stayed until his death. The house, which became known as “Spite House,” still stands as a monument to one man’s problem of hate and unforgiveness.
There are a lot of Christians living in Spite House today.
Jesus told Peter that he should forgive. Forgiveness is a major part of being a Christian. When we refuse to forgive then we begin to allow bitterness to stop us from entering into fellowship with God.
Luke 15: 28 – The older brother refused to enter the house
- He was angry
- He was not ready to forgive
- He was holding on to grudge
- The father pleads for him to come in
I. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE HOLD GRUDGES
1. Most people hold grudges because of hurts
- We tend to remember things that have hurt or scared our lives
- “I remember what you did”
ILL. Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross, was reminded one day of a vicious deed that someone had done to her years before. But she acted as if she had never even heard of the incident. "Don’t you remember it?" her friend asked. "No," came Barton’s reply, "I distinctly remember forgetting it."
Luis Palau, Experiencing God’s Forgiveness, Multnomah Press, 1985.
- If we are going to walk in fellowship with God we must not continue to hold wrongs done to us against others.
2. Because we are reactionary
- You hurt me I will hurt you (sounds like a two year old)
- You say something bad about me then I will say something about you
- We are determined to get even or one up on someone that has hurt us
ILL. Two Christians, Paul and John, lived next door to each other in the suburbs.
One day, Paul sawed down a tree which adjoined their two properties. The tree fell and smashed John’s lounge windows. John stormed out of his house and hollered at Paul. Paul hollered at John. Soon they had each other by the clothes, and finally John threw Paul to the ground.
Paul got up and brushed himself off. "Now look here, John," he said, "it’s high time one of us acted like a Christian!"
He paused for a moment, then glared at his neighbour, and said, "So, why don’t you turn your left cheek and let me punch you!?"
ILL. Button in a tourist shop: to err is human, to forgive is out of the question.
3. Because we long for justice rather than forgiveness
ILL. A little boy had a fight with his older brother one day. The little boy refused to speak to his brother all day. When bed time came his mother went to the little boy and said, “Don’t you think that you should forgive your brother before you go to sleep? The Bible say’s that we should not let the sun go down on our wrath.” After thinking for a moment the little boy replied, “But how can I keep the sun from going down.”
- We want those who have wronged us to pay for what they have done
- But God says :
Mark 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
Matthew 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
- But we want to say, “It’s not fair”
- We must remember life may not always be fair but God is a just God and will handle every problem fairly
- We must learn to release our anger and forgive by turning it over to God
Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Romans 12:20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
Romans 12:21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
II. WHY SHOULD WE FORGIVE
1. To live in peace
- When we say we forgive but hold on to resentment somehow we think that we are hurting the other person, when we are really only hurting ourselves.
ILL. A lady was sick, so she went to the doctor. He examined her, did a number of tests and told her the bad news. "I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but I’m afraid you’ve contracted rabies." The doctor left the room for a minute, and when he returned the woman was busy writing on a piece of paper. He asked, "What are
you doing, writing your will?" She said, "No, I’m making a list of all the people I’m going to bite."
- The alternative to forgiveness is, in the end, a ceaseless process of hurt, bitterness, anger, resentment and self-destruction.
- Unhappy marriage problems produce the largest number of “Spite Houses.”
- Divorce does not always bring an end, most of the time it makes matters worse
- Survey showed that 41% of remarried women were still furious with their first husbands. 31 % of Men still angry with first wife.
ILL. A man lay dying in a hospital bed. But as he lay there, he suddenly remembered an old enemy he once held a grudge against. Calling a nurse to his bedside, he whispered, "Nurse, please summon my old enemy."
The enemy arrived, and the man opened one eye, and said to him, "My enemy, I have called you here today to say I’m sorry for all the wrong I’ve done to you."
Then he paused, and added, "But mind you, if I ever get BETTER, you be sure that the old grudge still holds good!"
- Holding on to resentment only hurts the one who holds onto it.
- We must chose to love
1 Cor 13:5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
· Love is a choice
· You can live in anger and bitterness or you can choose to love
Luke 6:27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,
Luke 6:28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.
- We forgive for our own peace
2. To move forward and not live in past
- There is nothing more pitiful than a person who is continually living in the past.
ILL. after the Civil War, Robert E. Lee visited a Kentucky lady who took him to the remains of a grand old tree in front of her house. There she bitterly cried that its limbs and trunk had been destroyed by Federal artillery fire. She looked to Lee for a word condemning the North or at least sympathizing with her loss.
After a brief silence, Lee said, “Cut it down, my dear Madam, and forget it.” It is better to forgive the injustices of the past than to allow them to remain, let bitterness take root and poison the rest of our life.
- Unforgiveness always keeps a record, an account
- Get up get over it and move on
- Joseph could have held a grudge
· Abused by brothers
· Throne into pit
· Coat taken from him
· Sold into slavery
· Lands in Egyptian prison
Genesis 41:51 And Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: For God, said he, hath made me forget all my toil, and all my father’s house.
3. We must because we have been forgiven
ILL. A Sunday School teacher had just concluded her lesson and wanted to make sure she had made her point. She said, “Can anyone tell me what you must do before you can obtain forgiveness of sin?”
There was a short pause and then, from the back of the room, a small boy spoke up. “Sin,” he said.
Bits and Pieces, May, 1991
- There are some people that you will rub the wrong way
- Some that will be a thorn in your flesh
- Some that will be a whole bush
- If you plan on holding onto a grudge pray that you never need to be forgiven
- In the parable that Jesus told the servant owed his master 10,000 talents. This debt amounted to about fifteen years of a laborer’s wage. The servant could not pay it. His master forgave the debt.
- But the servant, in turn, had a man that owed him 100 denarii. This was about one days wage. The servant would not forgive the debt. When the master heard it he was furious.
- The master is God and we are the servants
- We forgive because we are forgiven.
Conclusion: Are you still living in “Spite House” is there someone that you just refuse to release from the hurt that they have brought upon you? Satan would like to keep this wound upon your spirit fresh but God says that He wants you to give Him the hurts of your life and forgive and forget those that have hurt you.
