If you’ve read your bulletin, or if you’ve noticed the table here in front, you’ve probably realized by now that we’re going to be celebrating the Lord’s Supper this morning. The Lord’s Supper, or "Communion" as it’s sometimes called, is a memorial, a remembrance. The reason we participate in this ceremony once every three months is to remind us of the central historical fact of the Christian faith, which is the death of Jesus Christ.
In one sense, this isn’t a very good time to be talking about death. Over the past few weeks, we’ve been bombarded with images and stories about death. You can’t turn on the television, or read the newspaper, without being confronted with death in its various forms: suicide; mass murder; war. We’ve seen what rage, and hatred, and misguided religious fanaticism can produce. And we’re horrified. We’re worried. We’re angry ourselves, at what has been done to us; to our country, to our people.
So I understand that we’re not in the mood to think of death as a good thing. Much less as an expression of love. Yet in the case of Jesus Christ, that’s exactly what it was. In fact, the Bible tells us that his death was the supreme example of love, the greatest act of love in human history.
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us."
-- 1 John 3:16a
"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." -- 1 John 4:9-10
If I were to ask everyone in this room to draw a picture of "love," something which represents the essence of love, I imagine I’d get all kinds of things back. A mother nursing a newborn baby. A beautiful wedding. Perhaps Christ the Good Shepherd carrying a lamb. I doubt that I would receive very many pictures of a bloody, half-naked man nailed to a wooden cross. And yet, God says that’s what love is. If you want to know what love looks like, look at the cross.
Of course, that’s wildly out of synch with what our culture tells us. According to movies, and television shows, and romance novels, love is all about feelings. And it’s completely out of your control; it’s just something that happens to you, something you "fall into" and "fall out of". So if you "fall into" love with someone; that is, if you have strong feelings of affection for them, or lust, or something in between, then you get married. And you hope that the feelings will continue. But if the feelings start to diminish, or disappear altogether, then that means you are no longer "in love". You’ve fallen out of love. And that means it’s time to split up. Next stop: divorce court.
But the example of Jesus Christ gives us a different definition of love. The essence of Christian love, true love, is sacrifice. Seeking the good of someone else, even at great cost to yourself. It’s a love that’s focused, not on me and my feelings, but on the other person and how I can best serve them.
"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep."
-- John 10:11
"Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." -- Romans 5:7-8
Jesus Christ suffered and died on the cross in order to pay the penalty for my sin. He sacrificed his life in order to save mine. And yours, if you belong to him. He didn’t feel like doing it. It didn’t meet his needs. He didn’t do it to please himself. He did it for His Father, and for us. That’s what love is.
The goal of this kind of love isn’t for me to necessarily feel happy or fulfilled. The goal is bless and serve the other person. Does that mean there are no feelings involved? Of course not. Jesus’ love for us is affectionate, and personal, and passionate. He cares about us deeply. But the feelings aren’t the basis; they aren’t the foundation for His love. Commitment and sacrifice are the foundation. And the feelings flow from those.
So if a man comes to see me and says he want to get divorced because he’s not in love with his wife any more, I tell him to start. Start loving her. I don’t mean that he should start trying to have loving feelings. I mean that he should make it his goal to bless her and serve her; that he should start choosing her good over his own; that he should be willing to sacrifice his comforts and desires in order to do what is in her best interests. And then the feelings will follow. Is that easy? No, it’s hard. Because it involves a kind of death. It involves putting to death your "rights" to be served and to have your needs met, in order to meet the needs of someone else.
What I often find is that people are in marriages, and in relationships, primarily because they want to get their own needs met. They have no intention of making sacrifices for the good of the other. They are willing to serve the other person’s needs, but only on the condition that the other person reciprocates and serves their needs. But that’s not love. It’s just a business arrangement. "I provide goods or services to you, and you in return provide goods or services for me. As long as we’re both satisfied, the relationship will continue. But if one of us feels that he or she is contributing more than he or she is receiving, then the relationship will end." That’s not love. Fundamentally, that’s selfishness, because it all revolves around me and my needs. In contrast, listen to what Christ’s death on the cross teaches us about love:
"And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again." -- 2 Corinthians 5:15
Obviously the example of Christ has application to marriage relationships. But it’s much broader than that. God intends that the sacrificial love of Christ on the cross should be the example for all of our relationships, and especially those within the church.
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." -- John 15:12-13
Who are the "each other" that Jesus is talking about, the people we’re supposed to be laying our lives down for? It’s the church, the body of Christ, the people in this room. If that’s the case, then how do we obey the command to love one another as Christ loved us? How do we "lay down our lives"? What does it look like? Does it include literally "taking a bullet" for someone, like a Secret Service agent guarding the President? Well, if it comes to that, then Yes! Of course, most of us will never be called on to literally experience death for someone else, but having this kind of love means we would if necessary. Here’s what I’m saying: the love that would cause us to die for someone, in a literal sense, is the same kind of love necessary to truly give our lives for them every day in a metaphorical sense. It’s the same kind of love in both cases. If we aren’t willing to do one, we won’t be willing to do the other. But on the other hand, if we’ve come to the point of being willing to die for someone, then it’s no great stretch for us to willingly mow their lawn or paint their house.
So how do we prepare ourselves for this? The first thing we have to do is adjust our minds to the idea of sacrifice, the idea of voluntarily giving away the things that constitute our "life" -- our time, our possessions, perhaps some of our privacy. We have to be willing to give up some control; we need to make ourselves available according to the schedule of people’s needs, rather than just when it fits conveniently into our plans. And instead of giving to others only after all of our needs are met, we have to be willing to share our resources with one another, even when that means we will go without. Not because we expect to get anything in return. But because we want to please our Savior, Jesus Christ, by imitating the kind of love He showed toward us.
And second: in order to truly love and serve people, you have to take the initiative. You can’t wait for them to come to you; instead, you have to be on the alert for needs and opportunities to serve, and you have to approach them and make the offer. Then you have to persist when they initially claim they don’t want your help. You see, most people are terrible at accepting help. They don’t feel they deserve it. Or they don’t want to be indebted to someone else. Or they’re just too proud.
Actually, the problem is that most people aren’t comfortable with the whole idea of grace, of getting something that they didn’t earn or pay for. And that is a problem. Because grace is at the center of the gospel. We can’t earn God’s love, and he doesn’t expect us to. He just wants us to accept His free offer of forgiveness and eternal life. Jesus Christ already paid the price; all we have to do is open our hands and receive it in faith. That’s grace. Undeserved, unmerited, unearned favor. But if you can’t accept someone mowing your lawn for you, or bringing you a meal when you’re sick, or fixing your transmission for free; if you feel like you have to somehow repay anyone who does a kindness for you, then you’re not living according the principle of grace. You may be trusting in Christ for salvation, but in your daily life, you’re still living according the principle of works. And if that’s the case, just give it up. Stop keeping track of what you’ve done for other people, and what they owe you in return. Stop keeping track of what other people have done for you, and what you owe them in return. Instead, just serve others as you have opportunity, and allow yourself to be served as you have need, in freedom and love. It’s not a matter of keeping the scales balanced. It’s simply a matter of loving one another as Christ loved us. Listen:
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." -- 1 John 3:16-18
Is this easy to do? No. This kind of love, love that sacrifices, and gives, and puts the needs of others ahead of your own, is difficult. That’s why it’s so rare. It’s difficult because it requires us to deny ourselves. It requires that we give things up, things that we have a legitimate right to. In a very real sense, it requires us to die to ourselves in order to live for others, just as Christ gave up his life in order that we might live.
"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."
-- John 12:25-26
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." -- Matthew 16:24-25
But as difficult as this kind of love may be, it’s the only kind of love that Jesus Christ modeled for us in his life and death. And He will give us the grace and strength to follow his example.
In closing, let me ask you a question: do you want to love and serve your Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ? If so, then you will make it your goal to love and serve these people, who are His body. How are you doing so far?
(For an .rtf file of this and other sermons, see www.journeychurchonline.org/messages.htm)
