“The 10 Commandments of Fellowship”
Rom. 12:9-21
Intro.
Some kids were asked to write letters to God. Here’s what some of them had to say.
Dear GOD, it rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway.
Your friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am)
Dear GOD, is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
Dear GOD, maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
Dear GOD, thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
Dear GOD, did you really mean, "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I’m going to fix my brother!
Dear GOD, I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
Sound familiar? So much for the perfect family!
Last week, we were reminded that we are a family of believers.
There’s more to this family than weekly reunions.
God has given us 5 purposes to fulfill in this family.
Every commandment given to the NT church can fall into 5 basic purposes:
Fellowship, discipleship, ministry, evangelism, and worship (or 5 M’s).
This is so important, we’ll be looking at these 5 purposes over the next 5 weeks.
If we’re to be a healthy church, we need to be a balanced church.
We need to be purposeful about fulfilling these 5 purposes.
Today, I want to focus on the purpose of fellowship.
I want to ask the question, How can we grow warmer through fellowship?
To answer that question, I’d like you to turn to Rom. 12:9-21.
Here we have a great passage on fellowship.
There are actually 24 commands given here, but we can group them into 10 Commandments.
I call these the 10 Commandments of Fellowship, because we’re going to discover 10 keys to growing warmer through fellowship.
Background:
Romans is an in depth explanation of the Gospel; doctrinal and practical.
Read Text.
9LOVE MUST BE SINCERE. HATE WHAT IS EVIL; CLING TO WHAT IS GOOD. 10BE DEVOTED TO ONE ANOTHER IN BROTHERLY LOVE. HONOR ONE ANOTHER ABOVE YOURSELVES. 11NEVER BE LACKING IN ZEAL, BUT KEEP YOUR SPIRITUAL FERVOR, SERVING THE LORD. 12BE JOYFUL IN HOPE, PATIENT IN AFFLICTION, FAITHFUL IN PRAYER. 13SHARE WITH GOD’S PEOPLE WHO ARE IN NEED. PRACTICE HOSPITALITY. 14BLESS THOSE WHO PERSECUTE YOU; BLESS AND DO NOT CURSE. 15REJOICE WITH THOSE WHO REJOICE; MOURN WITH THOSE WHO MOURN. 16LIVE IN HARMONY WITH ONE ANOTHER. DO NOT BE PROUD, BUT BE WILLING TO ASSOCIATE WITH PEOPLE OF LOW POSITION. DO NOT BE CONCEITED. 17DO NOT REPAY ANYONE EVIL FOR EVIL. BE CAREFUL TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT IN THE EYES OF EVERYBODY. 18IF IT IS POSSIBLE, AS FAR AS IT DEPENDS ON YOU, LIVE AT PEACE WITH EVERYONE. 19DO NOT TAKE REVENGE, MY FRIENDS, BUT LEAVE ROOM FOR GOD’S WRATH, FOR IT IS WRITTEN: “IT IS MINE TO AVENGE; I WILL REPAY,” SAYS THE LORD. 20ON THE CONTRARY: “IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM; IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO DRINK. IN DOING THIS, YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.” 21DO NOT BE OVERCOME BY EVIL, BUT OVERCOME EVIL WITH GOOD.
Outline
1. Love one another. v. 9-10
9LOVE MUST BE SINCERE (without hypocrisy). HATE (detest) WHAT IS EVIL; CLING (stick like glue) TO WHAT IS GOOD. 10BE DEVOTED TO ONE ANOTHER IN BROTHERLY LOVE.
Love – agape, unconditional, sacrificial love (like the love Jesus has for us).
Brotherly love – family love, the love that parents have for their children.
Devoted and brotherly love - actually different forms of the same root word.
Philostorgos and philadelphos (cf. Philadelphia)
City of Brotherly Love (or Shove)
Illus. Martha E. Garrett, East Wenatchee, Wash. Christian Reader ("Lite Fare.") Carol, a gracious clerk in our local Christian bookstore, often refers to a church as "the body." One week, many devoted members of a local "body" had come to the bookstore to buy birthday gifts for their pastor.
On Saturday, that pastor, John, stopped at the store. He told Carol about the surprise party his congregation had given him the night before. Carol’s heart was touched. Spontaneously, she leaned forward and exclaimed, "Oh, John, I just love your ’body’!"
True fellowship means that we love one another.
2. Honor one another. v. 10
HONOR ONE ANOTHER ABOVE YOURSELVES.
NAS – Give preference to one another in honor.
Honor – something weighty, valuable, high esteem, dignity, respect.
Literally, this command says “lead the way for others in honor”.
Prov. 15:33 says THE FEAR OF THE LORD TEACHES A MAN WISDOM, AND HUMILITY COMES BEFORE HONOR.
God’s Word commands us to honor and respect others.
True fellowship means that we honor others.
3. Worship with one another. v. 11-12
11NEVER BE LACKING IN ZEAL (never lag behind or be slothful in diligence, don’t be a slow poke in your zeal), BUT KEEP YOUR SPIRITUAL FERVOR (implies a burning desire to serve the Lord, BKC – “boiling in the Spirit”), SERVING THE LORD.
12BE JOYFUL IN HOPE, PATIENT IN AFFLICTION, FAITHFUL (devoted) IN PRAYER.
These are all aspects of exciting, passionate, Spirit-filled worship.
Worship draws us closer to God and closer to each other.
Worship promotes fellowship!
How can we best worship and serve the Lord?
By being zealous for Him, burning and boiling with desire for Him, being joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.
True fellowship means that we worship together.
4. Be gracious to one another. v. 13
13SHARE WITH GOD’S PEOPLE WHO ARE IN NEED.
(KJV) “distributing to the necessity of saints”.
Share – form of koinonia (fellowship, togetherness, common bond, family)
This word was actually fairly new to the early church.
Illus. Robert Shannon (1000 Windows) says, “Christian fellowship is so unique, the first believers searched for a word to describe it. They found the solution in an old word no longer in use. They dusted off that word and used it: koinonia. They knew no ordinary word could describe the relationship that existed among believers. (Standard Publishing Company, 1997).
Practice hospitality (friendliness to strangers, Pursue, chase after hospitality)
Now Paul goes beyond friendliness to the saints to friendliness to strangers.
We need to be gracious to one another, especially to those who join our fellowship.
Illus. A church newsletter mentioned a man who visited eighteen different churches on successive Sundays, trying to find out what the churches were really like. In every church, he was neatly dressed and followed the same routine of giving ample opportunity for fellowship. Then he used a scale to rate the reception he received. These are the points he awarded:
10 for a smile from a worshiper
10 for a greeting from someone sitting nearby
100 for an exchange of names
200 for an invitation to have coffee
200 for an invitation to return
1000 for an introduction to another worshiper
2000 for an invitation to meet the pastor
On this scale, eleven of the eighteen churches earned fewer than 100 points. Five actually received less than 20. The conclusion: The doctrine may be biblical, the singing inspirational, the sermon uplifting, but when a visitor finds nobody who cares whether he’s here, he is not likely to come back." James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988) pp. 94-95.
We need to be gracious to EVERYBODY who comes here, not just those we know.
We need to practice and pursue hospitality.
We need to be purposeful about our greeting time and our fellowship time.
Every one of us needs to be a “greeter”, making everyone else feel welcome here.
I’d like to develop a Hospitality Team to do this, among other things.
True fellowship means being gracious to one another.
5. Do not be spiteful toward one another. vv. 14, 17, 19-20
14BLESS THOSE WHO PERSECUTE YOU; BLESS AND DO NOT CURSE.
17DO NOT REPAY ANYONE EVIL FOR EVIL.
19DO NOT TAKE REVENGE, MY FRIENDS, BUT LEAVE ROOM FOR GOD’S WRATH, FOR IT IS WRITTEN: “IT IS MINE TO AVENGE; I WILL REPAY,” SAYS THE LORD. (CF. DT. 32:35) 20ON THE CONTRARY: “IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM; IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO DRINK. IN DOING THIS, YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD (CF. PROV. 25:21-22).
John Whitmer (BKC) – “The coals on the head may refer to a ritual in Egypt in which a person showed his repentance by carrying a pan of burning charcoal on his head. Helping rather than cursing an enemy may cause him to be ashamed and penitent.”
Illus. Ella Wheeler Wilcox says, “A pat on the back is only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, but is miles ahead in results.” Leadership, Vol. 15, no. 3.
Illus. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
When we’re hurt by those around us, we want to hurt them back, we want to get revenge, we feel as if we have a right to be angry or bitter.
But all that does is bring more pain and harm.
It’s like they get to hurt you twice.
Bitterness is a cancer. You can try to put it in remission, but if you don’t deal with it, it WILL come back to haunt you.
If we’re going to grow warmer through fellowship, we need to let God seek revenge.
We can’t play God or His wrath may be redirected at us.
True fellowship means not being spiteful toward one another.
6. Empathize with one another. v. 15
15REJOICE WITH THOSE WHO REJOICE; MOURN WITH THOSE WHO MOURN.
Have you ever hit your thumb with a hammer?
It makes your whole body hurt, doesn’t it?
If one part of the Body is suffering, the whole body suffers.
We need to rejoice and celebrate with those who rejoice and we need to mourn and weep with those who mourn.
Sincerely, not superficially, with compassion, not condescension.
Not sympathy, but empathy.
When someone is hurting or struggling, they don’t need instruction on how to get better or downplaying the seriousness of the situation (men are real guilty of this – we just want to fix things).
What they need is someone to come alongside them and be with them and let them know that we hurt with them.
We don’t have to understand their situation. We just have to care.
Robert Schuller once said, “Love is my decision to make your problem my problem.”
True fellowship means empathizing with one another.
7. Get along with one another. v. 16, 18
16LIVE IN HARMONY WITH ONE ANOTHER (have the same attitude toward one another).
NAS – be of the same mind toward one another.
18IF IT IS POSSIBLE, AS FAR AS IT DEPENDS ON YOU, LIVE AT peace (seek peace) WITH EVERYONE.
As much as others will allow, pursue peace.
Peace is NOT absence of conflict, it’s acceptance through conflict.
It’s agreeing to disagree. It’s contentment.
Illus. Rodney King during the LA riots. “Why can’t we just get along?”
Why can’t we, especially in the church?
Churches are splitting at a record pace because there’s no harmony, no peace.
It’s okay to disagree at times. After all, we’re a family.
Illus. Wayne Brouwer, in his article in Leadership says, “The German philosopher Schopenhauer compared the human race to a bunch of porcupines huddling together on a cold winter’s night. He said, "The colder it gets outside, the more we huddle together for warmth; but the closer we get to one another, the more we hurt one another with our sharp quills. And in the lonely night of earth’s winter eventually we begin to drift apart and wander out on our own and freeze to death in our loneliness."
“Christ has given us an alternative: to forgive each other for the pokes we receive. That allows us to stay together and stay warm.” (Leadership, Vol. 17, no. 2.)
We need to find a way to get along with each other, recognizing that there will be differences, there will be personality conflicts.
As Mike Warnke once said, “you can pick your friends, but you’re stuck with family”.
True fellowship means getting along with one another.
8. Be humble toward one another. v. 16b
DO NOT BE PROUD, BUT BE WILLING TO ASSOCIATE WITH PEOPLE OF LOW POSITION (take off together, run with people of low position). DO NOT BE CONCEITED (Don’t be wise with yourself).
This is similar to honoring one another (1st commandment), but goes even further.
Be willing to get dirty now and then. Be willing to do menial work.
How often do we avoid or look down on other people?
How often do we look at ourselves as being worse off than them?
Phil. 2:3-4 3DO NOTHING OUT OF SELFISH AMBITION OR VAIN CONCEIT, BUT IN HUMILITY CONSIDER OTHERS BETTER THAN YOURSELVES. 4EACH OF YOU SHOULD LOOK NOT ONLY TO YOUR OWN INTERESTS, BUT ALSO TO THE INTERESTS OF OTHERS.
Can you imagine what this family would look like if we all did this?!
Not what you hear from society is it?
Illus. Jerry Rice, who now plays for the Oakland Raiders, is considered by many experts the best receiver in the NFL. Interviewers from Black Entertainment Television once asked Rice, "Why did you attend a small, obscure university like Mississippi Valley State University?"
Rice responded, "Out of all the big-time schools to recruit me, MVSU was the only school to come to my house and give me a personal visit." The big-time schools sent cards, letters, and advertisements, but only one showed Rice personal attention. (Edward J. Robinson, Leadership, Vol. 15, no. 1.)
The big schools thought it was beneath them to go and visit prospects.
It was personal attention that won Jerry Rice over.
And we need to give personal attention to EVERYONE who comes here.
Illus. Leonardo da Vinci once said, “An arch consists of two weaknesses, which leaning against one another make a strength. Quoted by Jane A. Rubietta in Marriage Partnership, Vol. 12, no. 2.
We’re really no better than anyone else. And in order to grow warmer through fellowship, we need to be humble toward one another, realizing that we all need each other.
Alone, we are weak and vulnerable to collapse. Together, we can stand tall.
True fellowship means being humble toward one another.
9. Be honest with one another. v. 17b
(17b) BE CAREFUL TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT IN THE EYES OF EVERYBODY (Consider in advance what is right- – beautiful).
In other words, demonstrate integrity in everything you do.
Speak the truth in love! Be genuine! Be real!
One of the greatest compliments we could ever receive is being a man/woman of integrity.
It’s a powerful testimony.
Ps. 41:12 IN MY INTEGRITY YOU UPHOLD ME AND SET ME IN YOUR PRESENCE FOREVER.
Prov. 11:3 THE INTEGRITY OF THE UPRIGHT WILL GUIDE THEM, BUT THE CROOKEDNESS OF THE TREACHEROUS WILL DESTROY THEM.
True fellowship means being honest with one another.
10. Be good to one another. v. 21
21DO NOT BE OVERCOME (be conquered) BY EVIL, BUT OVERCOME EVIL WITH GOOD.
Stop being conquered by evil, but keep on conquering evil with good (WP).
This sums up every other command.
Don’t let the negative things we see in people replace the good things of fellowship.
We are a diverse family, with different backgrounds, ages, life situations, experiences.
But we’re family!
More importantly, we’re commanded by God to act like family.
That means encouraging each other, listening to each other, forgiving each other, resolving conflicts, building each other up.
True fellowship means being good to one another.
Conclusion
If we’re ever going to fulfill the Purpose of Fellowship that God has given us, we need to live out these 10 Commandments of Fellowship.
We need to Love one another, and Honor one another, and Worship with one another, and Be gracious to one another, and not be spiteful toward one another, and Empathize with one another, and Get along with one another, and Be humble toward one another, and Be honest with one another, and Be good to one another.
Remember last week’s Bottom Line? We’re family. We need each other.
That is so true!
Mary Nelson puts it this way. “The church is the glue that keeps us together when we disagree. It is the gasoline that keeps us going during the tough times. It is the guts that enables us to take risks when we need to.” Leadership, Vol. 16, no. 1.
We grow warmer through fellowship by warming up to the Commandments of Fellowship.
So how can we grow warmer through fellowship?
What areas can we improve upon with regard to our fellowship?
Anyone we need to confess to or forgive and be reconciled to?
Anyone we need to come alongside and rejoice with or mourn with?
Anyone we need to encourage or build up?
What about the newcomers who come here?
Are we truly reaching out to them?
Chances are, they’re coming because they’re looking for a real family.
A family that will make them feel warm, that will accept them for who they are, that will welcome them unconditionally into our local church family.
We have room for growth, don’t we?
Let’s make a commitment today to do all we can to help this church grow warmer through fellowship by living out these Commandments of Fellowship.
Personal Reflection – what can I do to promote fellowship?
Commit to the Hospitality Team?
