In March, when we gathered in this place to say farewell to a creative, innovative man, we did not dream that five months later we would gather again to bid adieu to his cherished helpmate. Charlie and Lola are together again, in death as in life; and it’s almost beyond belief. It just does not seem possible that your family would be visited with so much loss in so short a time. And I am aware that there have been other losses too. Surely, like Job in ancient days, you must be feeling that the hand of the Almighty has lingered long on you, and that your pain is out of proportion to what you can endure. All of us here feel that with you; we share your hurts and your questions.
It makes us all feel the temporariness of life, doesn’t it? The shortness of life, how fragile it is. Not only that Lisa and LaSonja have lost both father and mother in such a short time, and that many of you have lost two loved ones, without enough time to heal; but also that our esteemed sister, Lola, was still so young. Her death was completely unexpected. It’s hard to believe and still harder to accept. Life is painfully fragile, short, uncertain. And that hurts.
In fact, I would not be surprised to learn that many of us here spent some time this past week thinking about our own mortality. I would not be surprised to find out that many of us, after we learned about Lola’s death, became a little more aware of our own aging. It seemed to me on Tuesday morning when I came to your home, the steps were a little harder to climb and the air a little more difficult to breathe. Much the same thing had happened on the previous Friday to one of my neighbors, about the same age and under just about the same circumstances. I could not avoid feeling the shortness of life, of all life, maybe of my life. The Bible asks us so to number our days that we might apply our hearts to wisdom, and Lola’s loss makes us do that. Life is short; though we live a hundred years, it is still just a whisper in earth’s millions, too short and too uncertain.
I
It is too short because, if we are at all healthy, there are things we want to accomplish. Lola had planned to bring back here from Alabama the piano on which she had practiced as a youth, intending to resume her musical pursuits. But life was too short for her to accomplish that. I am quite sure that when the death angel hovers over me, I shall be waving in his face my eight-page list of things to do and my roster of books yet unread. But I doubt that he will be impressed to give me time to finish. Life is too short, for there are things we want to finish.
Life is too short because there are people we have not yet settled with, people with whom we have unfinished business. No matter how much communication goes on, there is still unfinished business. With you, her brothers, living at a distance, I am sure there were many things she would like to have said to you, but life turned out to be too short. With you, her daughters, how wonderful that you did stay in close touch! How commendable that you called one another daily! And yet, I am sure that there were still things she wanted to say to you, things she would have done for you. And the grandchildren! As a relatively new grandparent, I have so much in mind that I want to do with my grandchild; and I know that there was much that Lola would have enjoyed doing with Lauren and EJ. But life is short, far too short. There are people with whom we have unfinished business.
II
And so, as we reflect on that, we begin to look for a way to leave a legacy behind. We try to figure out, if we suspect that our lives may be drawing to a close, how we can leave behind something that will last.
Some pour themselves into making money and storing it up for the next generation; I have known older people to refuse to spend money they ought to have spent on their own health care, just so they could pass on a substantial financial legacy to their children. My experience is that such a legacy is spent by the time the last clod of earth is thrown on the grave! It doesn’t last.
Some arrange for monuments to be built – if not in stone, at the cemetery or in one of our famous DC traffic circles, where few will see them or know who lies there, then in programs or projects with their names on them. But that is seldom enough. We Washingtonians may know of the Eugene and Agnes Meyer Foundation or the Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation. We may know of these foundations, but likely know little if anything of the people whose names adorn them.
Some try to do something lasting by accumulating money, some try to do something lasting by arranging for monuments. But none of this is truly lasting. None of this is genuinely permanent. All of this is echoed in the poignant words of Willy Loman in the play Death of a Salesman, “I still feel kind of temporary about myself.” Indeed, Willy, we all do.
III
For one thing and one thing only lasts. And that is love. Love is lasting. Love is eternal. Love makes a permanent impact. Love endures. Love is lasting. Jesus told us, “I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last … love one another.”
Lola Black, praise God, knew that. She knew that love is lasting. She gave herself to nothing else more than to love. And so hers is a lasting legacy; it is fruit that will last.
a
I sat this week and listened to you speak about Lola and her way of life. I realized that although I have known her for fifteen years, there was much about her that I did not know, and that that very ignorance was an expression of her love. I did not know of her musical background; she had been too modest to mention it. Probably she knew that we would want to put her on display; but the Bible tells us that love is not puffed up, seeks not its own. Love kept her modest; that is lasting love.
b
Elliott spoke of her not as a typical mother-in-law, but as a friend. She took Elliott and Tony into her hearts as sons and cared about them as if they were her own -- not as some louts who stole her daughters’ hearts. There was room for these men, and respect for them. She treated them as friends. That’s why we began the service today with an emphasis on friendship and Jesus as our friend. Lola Black knew how to be a friend, and exhibited that Bible verse that says, “A friend loves at all times.” Lasting love.
c
Not only did Lola Black live modestly and quietly as an expression of her love; and not only did she embrace her daughters and their husbands with open-hearted love; she also showed her love by the way she cared for others. Without fanfare, without asking to be pitied, she just cared for others. She cared for Charlie in his illness; she cared for her grandchildren so that they might be safe. She put herself at the service of others and their needs, with no complaints, no demands. I cannot possibly improve on what the Lord Jesus says about this kind of love, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Lasting love, fruit that will last.
IV
How did Lola achieve this kind of love, and what does it mean now? How did she achieve this kind of love, and where is it now? Will it really last? Will it truly be ongoing?
Lola achieved this kind of love because she first experienced it in Jesus Christ. Lola loved because she first was loved. The Bible says that “we love Him because He first loved us”, and that was the way with Lola. It was in the redeeming love of Christ that she truly discovered what lasting love is. It was in the cross that she saw how far love goes. It was in the one who gave His life for us, who died that we might not have to die in our sins, that she knew what it is for love to lay down life for friends. It is in Jesus Christ that we too see lasting love at its finest, for in this hour, do not forget, He is alive. He is alive. The cross could not destroy Him, the grave could not hold Him, time does not bind Him, nor does history confine Him. He is alive. He is alive. And His love is lasting; it is for us. It is for Lola. It is His gift.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only-begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Lasting love and lasting life.
I praise God that Lola Black knew Jesus Christ as her savior and her Lord; that she received His love; and that she chose to model her love after His. Because of His lasting love, she will not be forgotten. Because of His lasting love, she will leave an impact where her work was done. Because of His lasting love, she will continue to teach her children and her children’s children. Because of His lasting love, her impact will be felt even by a generation yet unborn. And because of His lasting love, she will be numbered among the saints in light, in glory everlasting, continually receiving the lasting love of the Father.
V
One thing remains to be said; one condition remains to be fulfilled. Jesus said it, and I will neither embellish it nor cloud it: “I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.” Love one another now, when hearts are broken, and that love will last.
Love one another now, even though your own need is great, and that love will last.
Love one another, heal each other’s wounds, be present to one another, and that love will last.
And most of all, receive the lasting love of Christ, the love that gives everlasting life; receive the power to continue Lola Black’s lasting love.
