EXTENDING GRACE
Matthew 18:21-35
INTRO.- ILL.- After a long search through her purse, a lady who had just boarded a bus handed the driver a $20 bill. Noting the driver’s disapproving look, she snapped, “Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t have a dollar bill!”
“Oh, don’t worry, Lady,” said the driver, “You’ll have nineteen of them in just a minute.”
“I DON’T GET MAD. I GET EVEN.”
I don’t know who said that, but many people have sure adopted that philosophy in life.
ILL.- Each week Kevin Tunell was required to mail a dollar to a family he’d rather forget. How’s that? They sued him for $1.5 million dollars but settled for $936 to be paid a dollar at a time. The family expected the payment each Friday so Tunell wouldn’t forget what happened on the first Friday of 1982.
That’s the day their daughter was killed. Tunell was convicted of manslaughter and drunken driving. He was 17 years-old at that time. She was 18. Tunell served a court sentence. He also spent seven years campaigning against drunk driving, 6 years more than his sentence required. BUT HE KEPT FORGETTING TO SEND THE DOLLAR.
The weekly restitution was to last until the year 2000. In other words, 18 years. Tunell was to make the check out to the victim, mail it to her family and it was to be deposited in a scholarship fund.
The girl’s family took Tunell to court four times for failure to comply. After one court appearance, Tunell spent 30 days in jail. He insisted that he wasn’t defying the order, but was haunted by the girl’s death and tormented by the reminders.
He offered the family two boxes of checks covering the payments until the year 2001, one year more than required. BUT THEY REFUSED THE CHECKS. It’s not the money they were after, but penance, they said. PROBABLY MORE LIKE VENGEANCE THAN PENANCE.
The mother said, “We want to receive the check every week on time. He must understand we are going to pursue this until August of the year 2000. We’ll go back to court every month if we have to.”
I know that most of us would never question that family’s anger. BUT IS 936 PAYMENTS ENOUGH? Is 936 payments enough for that family to demand from Kevin Tunell? Will that family ever be able to put the matter to rest? In some ways, no. I realize this. But will they ever try to forgive? How much restitution is enough?
If you were that family, HOW MANY PAYMENTS WOULD YOU REQUIRE? Or better yet, HOW MANY PAYMENTS DO YOU NOW REQUIRE OF SOMEONE? What about the person who has offended you? What do you require of him or her? How many payments?
No one makes it through life without being hurt or injured in some form. No one. Just like that family, you’ve been a victim.
That 18 year-old girl died because someone drank too much. And perhaps a part of you has died because someone spoke too much, or demanded too much, or neglected too much.
EVERYONE GETS WOUNDED IN LIFE. No one is immune. And when we get hurt or wounded, we must decide: HOW MANY PAYMENTS WILL I DEMAND FROM MY OFFENDER?
We may not require that our offender write checks to us, but we have other ways of settling the score.
SILENCE is one way. We just ignore them when they speak to us.
DISTANCE is another way to settle the score. When they come your way, you walk the other way.
NAGGING is another way to get back at people. “Oh, I see you still have fingers on your hand. It’s funny that you never use them to call me on the phone.”
It’s amazing how creative people can be at getting even. “As long as I suffer, you will suffer. As long as I hurt, you will hurt. You cut me, and I’ll make you bleed, even if I have to reopen the wound myself.”
ANGER IS A BAD ADDICTION. It may start innocently enough with small doses, but we soon come back for more and more. And we generally up the dosage. We not only despise what he did, but who he is. And we even begin to hate anyone like him.
ILL.- You know. Like “All men are jerks.” “Every TV preacher is a huckster.” “You can’t trust a woman.” “All politicians are crooks.”
HURT BECOMES HATE. And hate grows. Seeking vengeance. How will the score be settled? How many payments will I demand from my offender?
Peter had a similar question for Jesus in our text in Matthew 18.
V. 21 “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Peter is worried about forgiving too much. The Jewish law required that the wounded person forgive three times. But Peter is willing to double the number and throw in one more for good measure. HE PROBABLY THINKS JESUS WILL BE IMPRESSED. But he isn’t.
V. 22 Jesus said, “I tell you, not seven times, but 77 times.” If you’re thinking 77 times is really good, you’re wrong. Jesus is not saying that we are to keep tabs on how many times we forgive others.
If we’re keeping score on our graciousness, our forgiveness, then we’re not being gracious! There should never be a point when our grace is exhausted or extinguished!
I Cor. 13:5 says that love “keeps no record of wrongs.” Nor does it keep a record of how many times we forgive. God’s grace has never been exhausted and neither should ours be.
PROP.- In our text, Jesus tells the story about an unforgiving servant who was a debtor, a creditor and a prisoner. Several lessons can be learned from his life.
1- All people are debtors
2- All people can become prisoners
I. ALL PEOPLE ARE DEBTORS
The man in our story had a great debt. You do too.
Wouldn’t it be great to be out of debt? And I do wish you great financial success.
ILL.- I had a secretary at the First Christian Church of Anna named Brenda whose father-in-law is a millionaire. In fact, he is worth somewhere in the area of 27 million. That’s a pretty good area, wouldn’t you say?
Brenda and Gary are not out of debt, BUT SOMEDAY. I used to smile at Brenda and say, “But someday you’ll be doing fine. And please remember me!”
It would be nice to be out of financial indebtedness. But that will never happen for most of us because we have children.
But I do wish you great financial success. And if you succeed, remember me! If you succeed in getting out of debt, YOU WILL STILL BE IN DEBT!
Romans 13:8 “Owe no one anything, except to love one another.”
Love is a debt that we all owe and that debt will never be paid off! We should never stop loving people! We must love others until we die!
ILL.- Several years ago my when my mother was 77 years-old she had lady friend named Mary Richards who was 91 years-old. Little Mary, as she was called, weighed only 70 lbs. and lived in low-income housing. Little Mary still drove her car even though she was frail. And occasionally, she would go pick up mom and take her to the community center for lunch.
Mom has had Parkinson’s disease for a number of years and it has done a number on her.
There were times even several years ago when mom couldn’t carry her food tray to the table. And even though little Mary weighed only 70 lbs., she would carry mom’s food tray to the table for her. She would do it when no one else would do it.
That’s what I call “love.” Nothing but pure love. In fact, one time when I went to visit mom I took her to see little Mary. And when we left her house she stood outside her door to watch as I helped mom get in the car. It was as if she wanted to make sure mom was going to make it. Or if I was going to help her!
Love. Sweet love. That is a debt that we all owe one another. Never stop loving people. Never. Thank you, little Mary, for teaching me a great lesson!
The man in our story also had a debt which he could never pay!
CEV “One day a king decided to call in his officials and ask them to give an account of what they owed him. As he was doing this, one official was brought in who owed him 50 million silver coins. But he didn’t have any money to pay what he owed. The king ordered him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all he owned, in order to pay the debt.”
That servant or official had a serious problem, a serious financial debt! Somehow or other he got carried away with his Mastercard, Visa and Discover cards and racked up millions of dollars worth of debt.
If he could pay a thousand dollars a day it would still take years for him to pay off his debt. FAT CHANCE OF THAT. He didn’t make a thousand dollars a day. His debt was far greater than his ability to pay!
But the point of the story is not about money, it’s about sin!
Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
ILL.- One time the famous American evangelist, Billy Sunday, was preparing for a revival meeting in a large city. He wrote a letter to the mayor of that city asking him for names of people who had spiritual problems and needed help.
Billy Sunday was somewhat surprised when he received from that Mayor a city telephone directory!
All of us have a serious spiritual problem and it’s called sin. All of us have a deep indebtedness because of our sin! All of us are in a deep, dark hole because of our sin! OUR DEBT TO GOD IS FAR GREATER THAN WE CAN PAY!
ILL.- One writer put it this way: “Our pockets are empty while our debt is millions. We don’t need a salary; we need a gift! We don’t need swimming lessons; we need a lifeguard! We don’t need a place to work; we need someone to work in our place! AND THAT SOMEONE IS JESUS CHRIST!”
I Peter 2:24 “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds (his death) you have healed (or forgiven).”
II Corinthians 5:21 “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
Jesus traded places with us! He became sin and we became righteous!
ILL.- I got an email the other day which illustrates our salvation in a cute way. It’s called “Pumpkins.”
A lady had recently been baptized. One of her co-workers asked her what it was like to be a Christian. She was caught off guard and didn’t know how to answer, but when she looked up she saw a jack-o’-lantern on the desk and answered: "It’s like being a pumpkin." The worker asked her to explain that one.
"Well, God picks you from the patch and brings you in and washes off all the dirt on the outside that you got from being around all the other pumpkins. Then he cuts off the top and takes all the yucky stuff out from inside. He removes all those seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then he carves you a new smiling face and puts his light inside of you to shine for all to see.
That’s what Jesus did for us. Cute story.
Our Master has forgiven us an insurmountable debt of sin through Jesus Christ! DOES GOD DEMAND THAT WE REIMBURSE HIM? When our feet took the wrong road, does God demand that we cut off our feet? When our eyes look where they should not look, does God blind us? When we use our tongue for profanity or gossip instead of prayer and praise, does God cut it out?
No, God does not demand payment from us. The payment was made through His Son Jesus Christ!
1- All people are debtors.
II. ALL PEOPLE CAN BECOME PRISONERS
The man in our story was a prisoner because he had an unforgiving heart and soul. Someone said, “The world’s worst prison is the prison of an unforgiving heart.”
When we do not forgive others we put ourselves in a prison of hatred, misery and sorrow.
Even though this man was shown abundant grace, he did not extend it to others!
CEV v. 27ff “The King felt sorry for him and let him go free. He even told the official that he did not have to pay back the money. As the official was leaving, he happened to meet another official who owed him a hundred silver coins. So he grabbed the man by the throat. He started choking him and said, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ The man got down on his knees and began begging, ‘Have pity on me, and I will pay you back.’ But the first official refused to have pity. Instead, he went and had the other official put in jail until he could pay what he owed.”
This story is almost unbelievable. How could that official do such a thing? Something is terribly wrong!
Are these the actions of a man who was forgiven millions of dollars? Choking another man just because he owed him a few bucks! Are these the words of a man who has been set free? “Pay the money you owe me!”
This official demands that his debtor be put in jail until he pay the debt. Not only is this official ungrateful, HE IS ALSO STUPID! How can he expect the man to earn money while he is in prison? If he has no money out of jail, how is he supposed to get money in jail?
HATRED NEVER MAKES SENSE. It is blind. It is blind stupidity. It is an addiction that dulls the brain and blinds the soul!
How can a person who is forgiven not forgive others? How can a person who is shown mercy not show it to others? How can a person who is shown kindness not show it to others? How can a person who is extended grace not extend it to others?
Luke 7:47 Jesus said, “He who has been forgiven little, loves little.”
If we believe that we have only been forgiven a little, we will only forgive a little!
ILL.- A lady came forward during a church invitation. She came to confess Christ and be baptized. The preacher took her hand and asked her to repeat some words after him, “Dear Lord, I know that I am a no-good sinner...” BUT THE WOMAN NEVER SAID A THING. The preacher said, “Don’t you want to be saved?” She said, “Yes, but I’m not a sinner.” The preacher said, “Then you can’t be saved. Jesus died only for sinners.” “But,” she said, “I’M A GOOD SINNER.”
“A good sinner!” the preacher responded. “There is no such thing as a ‘good’ sinner. We’re all bad sinners and in need of divine mercy.” And suddenly the woman was broken, convicted and said, “Oh, please forgive me! I know I’m a no-good sinner and need to be forgiven.”
The preacher said, “Good. Now God can do business with you.”
If you view yourself as “good” sinner then you will probably only want to forgive “good” sinners. But the truth is, we’re all “bad” sinners! And in order to forgive others we must see ourselves as such!
God is willing to wipe away all our sins. He guides us to a pool of mercy and invites us to bathe. SOME PEOPLE PLUNGE IN, BUT OTHERS JUST TOUCH THE SURFACE!
Perhaps that was the problem of the unforgiving servant or official. Perhaps he never felt like he was forgiven! The King or Master forgave his debt, but the servant never really accepted His grace!
Hebrews 12:15 “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”
When the grace of God is missed, bitterness is born. But when the grace of God is received and embraced, forgiveness abounds!
The longer we walk in the garden, the more likely we are to smell the flowers! The more we immerse ourselves in God’s grace, the more likely we are to extend grace to others!
Could this be the secret to overcoming anger and hatred? I think so. Hatred is too heavy for any of us to handle. The mountains before us are steep enough to climb without the heaviness of hatred on our backs. THE ONLY WISE THING TO DO IS TO DROP ANGER, HATRED AND UNFORGIVENESS BEFORE THEY DROP US!
Job 21:23-25 TEV “Some men stay healthy till the day they die. Others have no happiness at all; they live and die with bitter hearts.”
Please don’t let that be said of you.
CONCLUSION------------------------------------------
ILL.- During WWII, a German soldier plunged into a shell hole. There he found a wounded enemy. The fallen soldier was soaked with blood and only minutes from death. Touched by the plight of the man, the German soldier offered him water.
Through that simple, small kindness a bond was formed. The dying man pointed to his shirt pocket. The German soldier took from it a wallet and removed some family pictures. He held them so the wounded man could look at his loved ones for the last time. With bullets raging overhead and war all around them, these two enemies were, for a few moments, friends.
WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT SHELL HOLE? Did all evil cease to exist? No. Were all wrongs made right? No. What happened was this: Two enemies saw each other as humans in need of help. And that’s what forgiveness is.
Forgiveness is rising above the war, looking beyond what we are, and choosing to see others, not as enemies or even as friends, BUT AS FELLOW SOLDIERS WANTING TO MAKE IT HOME SAFELY.
Extending grace to others. This is what we all need to do. But, first you have to accept God’s gracious forgiveness before you can extend it to others. BUT THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN TOUCHED BY GRACE WILL GIVE IT TO OTHERS! They cannot do otherwise!
