When we speak of single mothers, we are not referring to the marital status a child’s mother. Nor am I talking about those women who have decided for the child that the father is not necessary. We are not discussing those mothers that believe that Fatherhood is a nonessential role in child rearing. The single mothers whom we are speaking about understand the role fathers, however, the father is not fulfilling this role. They realize they need help, they want help, they desire help but there is no help around.
When we speak of single mothers, we are speaking about those mothers who rear their children single-handedly. They are responsibile for their children physical, educational and emotional needs, exclusively. They have to bear the burden of the joys of raising children alone. Perhaps they receive assistance from somewhere, but the whole responsibility of the child’s welfare falls on them and them alone. They train their children in the way without a partner in the process, without a co-trainer, without a mate who is willing to shoulder the operation of preparation with them. They are Single Mothers.
Therefore, based on this definition of single motherhood, you can be married and still be a single mother. (I wish I had a witness right here.) Some married mothers know what I am describing. Every morsel of bread the child eats, they prepare. Every stitch of clothing the child wears, they bought. They tuck the child in at every night and wake them up every morning. They teaching them the Lord’s Prayer and their ABC’s. They are the homework checkers and the carpool drivers. They coach the little league baseball team and bake brownies for PTA’s. Everything the child needs, this mother provides single-handedly. Daddy may be sitting right there, but he does not lift a finger to help. Perhaps I need to put a note here: THIS IS A MOTHER’S DAY SERMON AND NOT A FATHER BASHING DAY SERMON.
Perhaps the children are not his, he only wanted a wife. Perhaps, they have worked out a deal that she nurture her children alone. Perhaps she was a bit overbearing at the beginning and would not allow the father to participate in the early, formative years of the child. Now, both of them are dissatisfied with the arrangement but don’t know how to rectify the situation. Regardless of the whys the fact remains, she finds herself as a single mother.
The magnificent thing about the Bible is that it is not reluctant to describe the most honored heroes and heroines in a positive and negative light. Biblical record allows us to see the good, the bad and the ugly of many of the heroes of faith. Moses, the deliverer of the children of Israel, the servant of God, the writer of the first five books of the Bible is pictured as a murderer and afraid to accept the call of God. David, a man after God’s own heart, established Jerusalem as the city of God, Shepherd-King of Israel and the writer of the 23rd numbered Psalm, is vividly described as an adulterer and a murderer. Even the apostle Peter does not escape intense scrutiny of the God’s Word. Peter is portrayed as hot-tempered, big-mouthed, and short-sighted, however, the Bible is careful to show God using Peter on the Day of Pentecost, healing a cripple man and opening the Church’s doors to the Gentiles.
The Bible means what it says in Romans 3:10 (KJV) "there is none righteous, no, not one." And in Romans 3:23 (KJV), "for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." Genesis 21 describes a horrible event, an ugly event in the life of Abraham and Sarah. The Bible does not allow them to pass off the pages of holy writ without incident, but plainly narrates their behavior. Some will try to justify their behavior, put all the blame on the single mother. Making the situation her fault. She must have done something or her child did something that caused them to treat her this way. Maybe if she were a little more humble, a little more submissive, a little more respectful then this situation would have never occurred. However, I have learned in life that you cannot do enough to please jealous, mean, despiteful people. When she smiled, Sarah felt like she was laughing at her. Abraham was no better, he treated her like a thing to be used rather than a person to be respected, a means to an end. Genesis 16:3 says Abraham took her to be his wife, so we are talking about a husband-second wife relationship. Because of this, Abraham’s behavior is unjustifiable. But, before we condemn Abraham and vote to take his name off the roll of faith, let us be mindful that works does not save us lest any man should boast (Ephesians 2:9 KJV), but we are saved by grace. Thank God for grace. We all deserve to have our names removed from heaven’s roll, but thank God for grace. God’s grace is divine favor shown toward us that gives us what do not deserve. We deserve to be cut off, but God does not look around the room and wait for a unanimous decision to whether or not to bless us. Always someone will vote against us. But God takes it upon God-self to distribute Grace. I know what John Newton was feeling that night he penned the words, "Amazing Grace". We all need God’s Grace. Grace to wake us up, Grace to keep us through the day, Grace to lead us from earth to glory. Thank God for Grace. Abraham and Sarah were wrong in the text but they are listed among the faithful because of God’s Grace.
Let us turn our attention to this Single Mother by the name of Hagar. Her life was turned upside down, her situation was spinning out of control. She was not the cause. If blame have to be passed out Hagar should receive less. She received the short end of the stick. When the problems hit the fan, Hagar got it in the face. Sarah has a problem with Hagar and Hagar has to leave. To make matters worst Abraham gives them bread and water. What meager means he provides. Bread and Water. Isn’t that food for prisoners? That represents the least you can give a human being. Abraham could have given them more, if for no other reason, Hagar’s son was his son. He did not have to provide for her so much, but as a father, he should have provided more for this son, his first born son. Bread and Water. Was Hagar suppose to live off those meager means?
As a society, we often give single mothers meager means. We fuss and argue about food stamps or welfare cards given to single mothers. When we examine the amount they received, we come to learn that it is no more than bread and water. We worry about the subsidies given to single mothers who are raising children without any other aid and while at the same time give corporations and industries billions of dollars of welfare money every year. We give more taxpayers’ money to big businesses in one day than we give to single mothers in an entire month. There should be some childcare scholarship programs offered to Hagar, some grant money available for Hagar. Some meaningful job-training programs offered to Hagar, something more than just bread and water.
If that wasn’t enough, Genenis 21:14 (KJV) says Abraham sent her away. The Hebrew word "Shalach" is in the Piel tense expressing an "intensive" or "intentional" action. The word expresses Abraham’s action as casting them off or expelling them. This word is used in Genesis 3:23 (KJV) Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the Garden of Eden. This is what happened to Adam and Eve after their sin. Part of their punishment was that God sent them away. What was Hagar’s great sin for which she is being sent away? She had been used and abused and now being sent away. Abraham did not say, "see you later," nor did he say, "farewell". He said Good bye and good riddance don’t you come around here any more. This word represents divorce, total separation; final and complete detachment with no hope of reconciliation.
Talking about a bad day, Hagar is having is a bad day. One day she had a home, then suddenly she was homeless. One day she had a job, then suddenly she was unemployed. One day she had it all, then suddenly she had nothing. One day she was laughing with her son, then suddenly they both were crying. We find her wandering in the wilderness of Beersheba. She had lost her direction, she had lost her way and her future. The wilderness of Beersheba was no place for a single mother and her child. Regardless of how old the child was this was no place for them to be alone. They were vulnerable in wilderness of Beersheba to the elements and to predators. The wilderness of Beersheba was a place for thieves, robbers, riff-raff and bandits. This single mother and her son are in this alien place and her meager means are running out.
Can you see her, do you feel sorry for her, don’t you want to reach out your hand to help her? If you do not then there is something wrong with you, because that is exactly what the Church should be feeling about this single mother. The Church should not be investigating to find out the cause of her troubles but seeking out a solution to her troubles. The Church often spends more time trying to find out who made the bed, then finding beds for people. The Lord knows that if some church folks find out that you made the bed, they are quick to give the unbiblical advice, you’ve made you bed, now you have to sleep in it.
Repeatedly, the Bible speaks about care for those individuals that society neglects strangers, widows and orphans. In our modern society, we could add single mothers.
When I first read this passage, I began to wonder why this single mother does not pray. If there was ever a praying time, this was it. If Hagar knew how to pray now was to time to put that knowledge to use. Why the text does not say she cried to the Lord? Something to let us know the sister was like that sister with the issue of blood or that sister of Canaan, who would not let anything stop them from calling on the Lord? She had been knocked down, kicked down, dragged down and put down and I feel myself yelling, pray, Hagar, pray.
Before I state why I believe Hagar does not pray, the Church should be praying for her. She may not be standing at the altar, she may not be making a prayer request, but the Church should be praying for single mothers. We need to begin to pray for those who are not, will not or can not pray for themselves. We cannot make it solely on our own prayers we need others to pray for us and we need to pray for others. Surely, this was a mid-night hour and if there ever was a need for prayer this was it.
What reason can we give for Hagar not praying at this juncture in her life? One reason is her lack of trust. She had seen first hand the behavior of Abraham and Sarah. She had seen their religion. She was an eyewitness to just how religious they were and look how they have mistreated her. Although people should not judge the Lord by the actions of church folks, people do. The Church should always be careful to practice what they preach, from the pulpit to the pews, from the choir to the ushers, from trustees to the deacons. Every member must continue to strive to live out the Christian principals of love, grace, forgiveness, righteousness and mercy. However, the standard is not the children of God but the Lord God. Hagar had seen their religion and had rejected their God. But, thank God that when we are not thinking about God, God is thinking about us. God never forgets about us. When God is not on our mind, we are forever on God’s mind.
We need to tell single mothers that God knows and cares about them. God knows where they are at and what they are going through. God knows how other folk have mistreated them. The Bible tells us in Matthew 10:30 (NIV) even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. God tells Jeremiah (Jeremiah 1:5 NIV) "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you". We can rest assured that God knows our situation, conditions, circumstances and our state of affairs.
Not only does God know about the single mother, God cares for them. What a message the Church should share with single mothers, God cares for you. When no one else seems to care, you can be sure that God cares. To prove my point, God sends the best to this single mother. No human agent shouts to Hagar from the wilderness, no servant of Abraham comes to her rescue, no knight in shining armor come to save her from the dangers of the wilderness. But the God of Creations cares enough to send the best. Hagar is one of three mothers that had an angelic visitation. Hagar is in the company of Samson’s mother and Mary, the Mother of Jesus.
This single mother receives God’s best. Genesis 21:17 (NIV) tells us the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven with a message. Telling her that everything is going to be all right. Telling her help is on its way, hold on just a little while long, keep on keeping on. Single mothers, circumstances do not hinder God’s plans, situations cannot prevent God, tough cases can not stop God.
Single mothers, I want you to know that God cares for you. Don’t quit being the one who puts bread on the table. Don’t you quit being the one who brings home the bacon and frying it up in the pan. Single mothers don’t quit being the one who discipline the children then telling them that everything is going to be alright. God cares plight of single mothers.
And, by the help of God, churches will begin Hagar ministries. By the help of God, churches will begin Hagar night out programs. By the help of God, churches will begin Hagar resource centers. By the help of God, churches will help single mothers realize that God knows and cares for them.
