“When Life is the Pits”
A Study of the Life of Joseph
Sermon # 9
“Dealing With Forgiveness!”
Genesis 45:1-20
“Simon Wiesenthal lost 89 relatives in Hitler’s death camps. He has devoted his life to finding Nazi criminals and bringing them to justice. He is often asked when he will give up. After all, he is hunting down men in their 70’s and 80’s for crimes committed half a century ago.
Wiesenthal answered by writing a book. The book begins with a true experience he had while he himself was a concentration camp prisoner. One day he was yanked out of a work detail and taken up a back stairway to a dark hospital room. A nurse led him into the room, then left him alone with a figure wrapped in white, lying on a bed. The figure was a badly wounded German soldier, whose entire face was covered with bandages. His name was Karl.
With a trembling voice, the German made a kind of confession to Wiesenthal. He told how he had been brought up in a Nazi family, the fighting he had experienced on the Russian front, and the brutal measures his S.S. unit had taken against Jews. And then he told of a terrible atrocity.
All the Jews in a town were herded into a wooden building
that was then set on fire. Karl had taken an active part in the crime. Several times Wiesenthal tried to leave the room, but each time the ghost-like figure would reach out and beg him to stay. Finally, after 2 hours, Karl told Wiesenthal why he had been summoned.
The soldier had asked a nurse if any Jews still existed. If so, he wanted one brought to his room so he could clear his conscience. He then said to Wiesenthal -"I am left here with my guilt. "I do not know who you are, I know only that you are a Jew and that is enough. "I know that what I am asking is almost too much for you. "But without your answer I cannot die in peace." Karl asked for forgiveness for all the Jews he had killed. He asked for forgiveness, from a man who might soon die. Wiesenthal sat in silence for some time. He stared at the man’s bandaged face. At last, without saying a word, he stood up and left the room. He left the soldier in torment, unforgiven. #986
Had Simon Wiesenthal done the best he could? He himself seemed dissatisfied with his action. He went over it with his companions. He visited the dead soldier’s mother.
In his book, he asks 32 rabbis, Christian theologians,
and secular philosophers to comment on it. "What would YOU have done?" is the question he posed.
Out of 32 people he asked the majority said he had done right in leaving the soldier unforgiven. Only 6 said he had done wrong. Yet Bible says we have the privilege of granting forgiveness to those who have wronged us.”
The story of Joseph gives us a model for forgiveness. The past had shattered Joseph’s ability to trust his brothers. In order to trust his brothers, Joseph needed to know and believe two things – that they were telling him the whole truth and that they were truly sorry for what they had done.
You will remember that in the previous chapter Benjamin had been accused of stealing Joseph’s silver cup and Judah was pleading for mercy. Judah and his brothers are anxiously awaiting a verdict from Joseph, one that will determine the course of the rest of their lives.
Dr. David Seaman’s in “Healing for Damaged Emotions” says, “The two primary causes of emotional stress are the failure to forgive and the failure to receive forgiveness.” [David Seaman. Healing for Damaged Emotions. (Wheaton: Victor Books, 1981) ]
FORGIVENESS IS EXTENDED 45:1-10
“Then Joseph could not restrain himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, “Make everyone go out from me!”
When Judah reached the final step in his repentant confession (44:33) actually pleading that he be allowed to take Benjamin’s place as a slave, Joseph “could no longer control himself” (45:1). He knew this was the time to tell them who he was. His questions were all answered. His brothers had told the truth. Most important of all, their hearts were changed.
When Joseph finally gained emotional control once again, he identified himself. “….So no one stood with him while Joseph made himself known to his brothers. (2) And he wept aloud, and the Egyptians and the house of Pharaoh heard it.”
Without knowing what the prime minister intended to do they saw that he was visibly upset and saw him send everyone out of the room. The brothers already were filled fear as they awaited the decision of the prime minister concerning their fates. But then this man made a statement that drove a wedge of terror into their hearts. He spoke in Hebrew to them and said, (AAA-NEE-YO-SAPHE) -“I am Joseph.” The response is silence. We are told “….But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed in his presence. When Joseph’s brothers heard these words they were so stunned and overwhelmed with fear that they could not speak. We read “they were dismayed (literally terrified) at his presence.” They have nothing more to say, no more appeals left, no hope for mercy. (This is how it will be for the wicked when they stand before God.)
Joseph began to reassure his brothers by pointing to God’s purpose. In verse 4- 8 we read, “And Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come near to me.” So they came near. Then he said: “I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. (5) But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life. (6) For these two years the famine has been in the land, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. (7) And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. (8) So now it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.”
Joseph could see the unbelief and sheer terror in their eyes. Although he was speaking Hebrew perfectly, which probably frightened them even more, he looked like an Egyptian. He knew that he would have to help them to accept the idea that he was really Joseph. That is when he asked them to “come close to him” (45:4).
Joseph did more than reveal his identity he revealed his perspective on what had happened to him. Notice the two words that change everything, “But God!”(v.8). Joseph says “you sold me but …. God sent me.” (v. 5). Seeing God at work in his life had prevented him from being bitter. He knew that God took the evil intentions of his brothers and overruled them for good. Believer’s today has the assurance of Romans 8:28 that says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” This scripture does not say that all things are good but that God causes all things to work together for good. God is behind the circumstance in your life, not causing them but using them.
There is of course always the temptation to bitterness. Bitter people think that they are hurting the people they are angry with while in fact they are really only hurting themselves.
Job says in (5:2), “For wrath (resentment) kills a foolish man, And envy slays a simple one.” The irony is that if you fail to forgive, the person you consider your enemy will direct your life. Because you have chosen not to forgive you will make your decisions based on what you think will harm the one with whom you are bitter. In Matthew 18 (23-34) Jesus tells the story of servant who was pardon of an astronomical debt by the king who when he saw a fellow servant who owed him a few dollars had him thrown into prison because he could not pay. When the king heard of how the pardoned servant had no pity on his fellow servant he was “handed over to the jailers until he should pay back all that he owed” (18:34). Bitterness imprisons us in a prison of our own making.
Joseph then tells his brothers to go and get their father Jacob and all of their families and come live in the land of Goshen (vv. 9-10). When he had said this he according to (vv. 14-15), “Then he fell on his brother Benjamin’s neck and wept, and Benjamin wept on his neck. (15) Moreover he kissed all his brothers and wept over them, and after that his brothers talked with him.”
In what is surely one of the most tender scenes in all of Scripture, Joseph “threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept and Benjamin embraced him weeping.” He then “kissed all his brothers and wept over them.” The scene of Joseph embracing and kissing those brothers we have wronged him is unsurpassed in the Bible, with exception of Lord loving and even kissing the one who had betrayed him.
Joseph has given us a wonderful model of forgiveness. But don’t be fooled forgiveness is not easy. However, we often make forgiveness even more difficult by false assumptions about the meaning of forgiveness. I want to take a few moments to examine some of those false assumptions.
Forgiveness is not overlooking the wrong.
Joseph did not pretend that nothing had ever happened. Joseph clearly said “you meant it for evil but God meant it for good.” (50:20). Joseph did not minimize the wrong they had done.
Forgiveness is not excusing the wrong.
Forgiveness is not finding excuses for the wrong that was done. What happened was not the result of a bad home environment, poverty or any of the other things that society uses to excuse sin!
Forgiveness is not minimizing the wrong. No where does Joseph say, “Boys don’t worry about it, it was not that big a deal!” Forgiveness never meant that Joseph had minimize what pain of what had happened to him.
Forgiveness is not taking the blame for the wrong.
Joseph did not say, “Its ok boys I know it was my fault, I should have never worn my fancy robe of many colors into the field, I should never have told you about those dreams.”
Forgiveness did not mean that Joseph had to take the blame for what had happened. No matter what Joseph said or did, it did not excuse what his brothers had done.
Extending forgiveness is hard. But forgiveness is a decision to bring pain to an end. In order to forgive I must let go of my resentment, bitterness, hurt and pride. Forgiveness is hard but hate is harder.
“The miracle of forgiving is the creation of a new beginning. It does not always take away the hurt. It does not deny the past injury. It merely refuses to let them stand in the way of a new start.” (Lewis. B Smedes. Forgive and Forget. )
Joseph’s brothers must have left Egypt enormously encouraged by the grace that has been shown them. But how much of it had been appropriated in their lives.
FORGIVENESS MUST BE ACCEPTED
Even years later, after they had brought their father Jacob down to Egypt where he eventually died, they were still afraid that Joseph might get revenge against them. It is years later and they still have not fully accepted the forgiveness that has been extended to them.
They once again allowed guilt to do a number on them. There was no doubt in their minds that the death of their father could mean that sudden reversal of Joseph’s forgiveness towards them. In Genesis 50:15-20 we are told, “When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “Perhaps Joseph will hate us, and may actually repay us for all the evil which we did to him.” (16) So they sent messengers to Joseph, saying, “Before your father died he commanded, saying, (17) ‘Thus you shall say to Joseph: “I beg you, please forgive the trespass of your brothers and their sin; for they did evil to you.”’ Now, please, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of your father.” And Joseph wept when they spoke to him. (18) Then his brothers also went and fell down before his face, and they said, “Behold, we are your servants.” (19) Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? (20) But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”
They are still rehearsing past sin which had already been forgiven by Joseph, but which had not fully forgiven them-selves. Here they are years later and Joseph is still reassuring his brothers that they have been forgiven. Often in life the last ones we forgive is ourselves and I think that is exactly what these brothers are still fighting with. As Chuck Swindoll says in his book on Joseph, “Guilt clings to the side of the boat, clawing for a foothold, long after grace has come on board and begun to steer.” [Charles Swindoll. Joseph: A Man of Integrity and Forgiveness. (Nashville: Word Pub., 1998) pp. 144-145.]
Joseph’s heart is broken to understand that the brothers have not appropriated in their lives the forgiveness he had given them years earlier. They are living under a burden of guilt for sins that have already been forgiven. But how about you, are you still fight with guilt for sins that you have already asked God to forgive you for? If you have asked for God’s forgiveness, he forgave you, then and there. The question is, “Have you allowed yourself to be forgive? Are you living as if you have been forgiven?”
Conclusion
1. Remember if you are saved today it is only because you yourself have been forgiven.
2. Remember that you will need forgiveness yourself some time in the future.
3. Reflect on the terrible cost of the refusal to forgive.
4. Remember you will be able forgive when you begin to look for the hand of God at work in your circumstances.
