God’s Three-Step Approach to Handling Life
When when you want to see better days and you don’t know what to do, follow the advice of Palms 34:14, which is God’s three step approach on how to deal with life’s difficult situations when you are angry, hurt, scared, tired or confused:
“Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”
1. A person must start with rejecting what is evil and bad, and doing something good and positive. Note, that this verse means more than not being bad, instead do something good. Peace is more than the absence of conflict. It is the presence of all components of a meaningful life. The Hebrew word here is "shalom", which means: peace, harmony, completeness, soundness, safety, goodwill and well-being.
2. The beauty of this verse is not it theological profundity, but in its practical help in difficult, stressful or confusing times. It is so simple that people of all ages or faiths (even those without belief in God) can apply it to their benefit and the good of their neighbors. Yet, it is also so difficult for it goes against our human nature to fight or flee when faced with a difficulty. Yet, God can help us overcome our anger or fear to find goodwill and peace, especially in a personal relationship with Jesus, his Son. As Proverbs 11:27 states, "He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it."
3. Psalm 34:14 gives us a three step approach in dealing with life’s surprising turns:
First, turn from evil (repent can means to turn around). When you don’t know what to do, do not do something evil, bad, immoral, hateful, wicked, dishonest, unethical, unfair, rotten, dangerous, self-centered, etc.
Second, do something good, positive, helpful, nice, great, fair, safe, right, acceptable, honest, decent, respectable, pleasing, etc. (Note: Sometimes not doing anything wrong and doing something good and acceptable still doesn’t bring about agreement or a right relationship. Then you can seek peace and pursue it.).
Third, seek peace and pursue it. Work together so both of you come up with a winnowing solution to your problem. This takes a lot of work and courage. Yet, if I win and you lose, that’s not good ("I want my way"). Then if I lose and you win, that’s not good either ("Well, have your way with me. It doesn’t matter for I don’t count"). Ultimately, what peace and harmony there may be will break down. The only solution that brings long term peace is a winnowing solution. Peace in the biblical sense is doing what is in the best interest, safety and welfare of both parties. The approach is as follows (this comes from Dr. Steven R. Covey), yet only in Jesus Christ can we have God’s peace, which surpasses human comprehension:
1. State something like, “I see we have a we have a problem here. Lets work together in coming up with a solution whereby we both win. Is that agreeable to you?"
2. State further, "I want to understand how you see our problem and feel about this dilemma first. Is that okay? Then I can share how I view and feel about the situation. I trust you and I can understand each other and come up with a solution where we can both agree in our best interest." Most people want to talk first so give them the first opportunity.
3. Listen deeply, trying to understand, so they know, you know, how they feel and what they think about your concern. Give your partner a lot of feedback, by summarizing and paraphrasing, so they know you have heard them. Then you will have earned the right to be heard. Remember James 1:19-21, "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you."
4. Then say, “In light of how we both see and feel about this issue, what solutions could we come up with where both us win?"
5. Then courageously pray and work toward a solution which satisfies everyone, promotes harmony, and brings glory to God. A handy tool for coming up with an acceptable solution is S.O.D.A.S.:
S-ituation (Define or agree on what the problem is that you will work on in a gentle and respectful manner).
O-ptions (Brainstorm together or come up with as many solutions as possible, for you never know what may work).
D-isadvantages (List the disadvantage for each possible solution).
A-dvantages (List the advantages for each possible solution).
S-olution (Choose the best solution, then make a commitment to making it work. Ask for God’s help in making the solution work, reevaluate it from time to time, and make any necessary adjustments).
((Note: Maybe, the very least we can do, when their are irreconcilable differences, is to "agree to disagree agreeably" for each other’s good and welfare, asking God bless each other as he leads us.))
4. With children be very simple. Walk them through the three step approach (Maybe, you’ll have to give them plenty of concrete examples or suggestions until they understand):
1) Okay, what did you do that was wrong or bad? (Make sure they apologize, make restitution or are properly disciplined when it is necessary).
2) Now, what could you have done that was good, helpful, positive or better?
3) What can you do so everyone wins? For older children ask, "Now, can you work it out so everyone wins, or do you need my help?"
((Expect a lot of silly, smart aleck, unrealistic comments. Be patient and gentle, yet keep plugging away. Remember, you’re planting seeds for harvest of righteousness later.))
5. Remember King David sung, "....He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake" (Psalm 23:3).
6. Ultimately, may God be given the glory! Amen.
7. A 20-year-old man was arrested by the Omaha Police on the “suspicion of robbery and giving police false information,” which was one of many wrong turns for this young man. His first wrong turn was the desire to make some quick, easy money for whatever reason. His second wrong turn was to act on this impulse.
According to the newspaper1, the police reported, a 27-year-old Omaha woman stopped for gasoline at a convenience shop, early a week ago Thursday, when the young man walked up, grabbed her and tried to yank her purse away, which was wrapped around her arm. Of course he knocked her down, then took off running, heading northbound on 90th Street.
That was his third wrong turn, for he ran right pass the police precinct at 90th and Grant Streets, where two peace officers happened to be standing outside. The newspaper reported police spokesman Don Savage saying, "It’s nice when the suspects come to us. It makes our job a lot easier."
The two officers jumped into their cruiser and caught the suspect near 90th and Ohio Streets, where they arrested him. Then he made his last wrong turn in this situation when he lied to the police.
Obviously, his wrong turns, or bad decisions, made his situation poorer and his life more complicated.
This young fellow allowed his evil desire to drag him away to commit this misdemeanor, which will probably result in jail time. If he doesn’t serve time in the Douglas County Correctional Center, at least many hours of community service and a hefty fine. We can’t lord it over him though, for we have all done stupit things.
Yet, it’s unfortunate the young man didn’t follow the sensible advice of Psalm 34:14, which says, “Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” How would his life be different had he made peace with God through Jesus Christ first? What if he had donated some of his free time to worthy community organizations and paid taxes from his useful employment? He probably would be far richer, not only financially but spiritually.
Conclusions: Do you want to see better day, be richer financially and spiritually? The follow God’s three-step approach in how to handle life.
