“Living Wisely as Fathers”
Text: Eccl.4:4-12, 1 Kings 11:1-10
Sermon series Living Wisely in a Meaningless World.
Based on book of Ecclesiastes.
By Rev. Andrew Chan, PBC, Vancouver, BC
June 17,2001
First, happy father’s day to all you daddies! According to a story found on Toronto Star the credit for today’s celebration goes to Sonora Dodd, Lyndon B. Johnson and Richard Nixon. “In 1910, Dodd dreamed up the idea while she was listening to a Mother’s Day sermon in her hometown of Spokane, Wash.” Does it not seem that even on Father’s day, mothers, bless their hearts, still can outshine fathers? Yes, it was a mother’s day sermon got the ball rolling for a day to honor dear old dad.
It was Sonora Dodd’s recollection of her father, William Smart, that inspired this movement to honor fathers on this day in June. Apparently, William Smart was widowed when his wife died during childbirth. So this father raised Sonora and her 5 siblings all by his lonesome. But it was not until many years later in 1966, that Pres. Lyndon Johnson formalized the day, albeit only for one year. Only later, was this day finally officially recognized for good. We know today that it Pres. Richard Nixon who made Johnson’s proclamation permanent.
Now, our country, Canada, didn’t have to adopt this day but because we are so close to our American neighbors, we are easily swallowed up by America’s influence and its formidable greeting card industry. The celebration means many things to many people, which is one of the reasons Father’s Day is the fifth biggest card-selling day of the year. Three-quarters of North American dads will get cards, nearly half will be wearing new clothes, and a quarter will enjoy new sporting goods or a power tool of some sort. But Dodd was on to something other than rampant consumerism… She saw in her daddy something more than just material goods… she saw sacrificial love.
Today, as we come together, I believe, in our hearts we want to see fathers who live wisely, just as Sonora Dodd’s father did. We want to see fathers who are heroes, people who make a difference… In my personal time with God this past week I have been reading in the Bible in book of 1 Kings, and the thing I noticed a lot about, is this… The fathers that are portrayed there are not heroes at all. All are weak men who can be vicious and mean, men whose only response to a world that frightens them and bewilders them, is to do violence to others. There are many men who have followed this pattern of behavior. I also observed this with Solomon, who wrote Ecclesiastes. We know something about his life as we begin with a look in the Bible in I kings 11, reading v.1,2 (NLT)
“Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. 2 The LORD had clearly instructed his people not to intermarry with those nations, because the women they married would lead them to worship their gods. Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway.”
Solomon made unwise move of ignoring God’s Word. Instead of worshiping God, he worshipped his wives, And the consequence of that is Verse 3 …
“3 He had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. And sure enough, THEY LED HIS HEART AWAY from the LORD.”
Every time I read that I get a shock, what a number! How can anyone have time to even play golf? It is quite clear that he never got back on track with God…read in v.4
“4 In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship their gods instead of trusting only in the LORD his God, as his father, David, had done.”
Apparently this is the circumstance in which Eccl. Is written, now in his old age, with the view of life without God, an under the sun observation of life.
I kings continues to inform us how bad his sin was…in his life there was an escalation of idol worship v.5-8
5 Solomon worshiped Ashtoreth, the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech, the detestable god of the Ammonites. 6 Thus, Solomon DID WHAT WAS EVIL IN THE LORD’s SIGHT; he refused to follow the LORD completely, as his father, David, had done. 7 On the Mount of Olives, east of Jerusalem, he even built a shrine for Chemosh, the detestable god of Moab, and another for Molech, the detestable god of the Ammonites. 8 Solomon built such shrines for all his foreign wives to use for burning incense and sacrificing to their gods.
So we can see in v.9-10, that God, who dealt with him kindly, gave him wisdom to rule and riches beyond his dream, and he wasted it all. Solomon abused God’s kindness and goodness and God was not happy with this, to say the least-
9 The LORD was very angry with Solomon, for his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. 10 He had warned Solomon specifically about worshiping other gods, but Solomon did not listen to the LORD’s command.
Yes, it is this context we find Solomon, now lamenting, his stubborn foolish ways in Eccl, an old man beaten up by his foolish choice to go for the moment of pleasure but a life which he now says is meaningless, utterly meaningless. That is why we must be careful to remember from what perspective he is taking when he penned these words in Eccl. This is a perspective written by a man that has experienced all that life can throw at him and he has found it wanting. Nevertheless it is inspired in order to teach us not to make same mistakes as he did (refer to part 1 of series). Since it is father’s day today: My question is- How can this guy reportedly wisest person ever, relate properly, give enuff attention to his kids, be a mentor and all those wives, plus all the building projects of idol temples, plus governing the land. Impossible, right? So we see here, perhaps not physical abuse/violence but he did violence to his household. Emotional damage is really quite lethal as physical damage, or perhaps even more so. I know I have 4 kids and one fulltime job, and they give me some days that grow some white hair on me. Some days are stressful. How can one be a wise father the way and pass on wisdom and good things when there is no time left in the day to be with the kids? I struggle with 4, what about Solomon? Maybe he did OK, what do u think?
Check out his legacy… Rehoboam, his son, succeeded him at his death, so we read in 1 Kings 12:1-4…
“Rehoboam went to Shechem, where all Israel had gathered to make him king. 2 When Jeroboam son of Nebat heard of Solomon’s death, he returned from Egypt, for he had fled to Egypt to escape from King Solomon. 3 The leaders of Israel sent for Jeroboam, and the whole assembly of Israel went to speak with Rehoboam. 4 “Your father was a hard master,” they said. “Lighten the harsh labor demands and heavy taxes that your father imposed on us. Then we will be your loyal subjects.”
Sounds reasonable, yeah? Jump on down v.12 …
“12 Three days later, Jeroboam and all the people returned to hear Rehoboam’s decision, just as the king had requested. 13 But Rehoboam spoke harshly to them, for he rejected the advice of the older counselors 14 and followed the counsel of his younger advisers. He told the people, “My father was harsh on you, but I’ll be even harsher! My father used whips on you, but I’ll use scorpions!” 15 So the king paid no attention to the people’s demands. This turn of events was the will of the LORD, for it fulfilled the LORD’s message to Jeroboam son of Nebat through the prophet Ahijah from Shiloh.”
So we see Rehoboam (Ray) learnt little, if anything, from his father, Solomon. It seems to me that Ray learned only to be tough and harsh and hard, just as Solomon was. He did not learn to love. And how can he? He was not loved the way he wanted. How could Solomon have devoted enough energy to be a dad? Today many dads are at a lost just dealing with one kid from a marriage breakup, so how can this guy do it, with all kids, wives and a country to rule? He can’t! It is not humanly possible, but it was a disaster of his own making!
16 When all Israel realized that the king had rejected their request, they shouted, “Down with David and his dynasty! We have no share in Jesse’s son! Let’s go home, Israel! Look out for your own house, O David!” So the people of Israel returned home. 17 But Rehoboam continued to rule over the Israelites who lived in the towns of Judah.
And this set of a chain of sad events of one tyrant after another, assassinations, of violence, leading Israel further and further away from God into idol worship if you read rest of 1 and 2 Kings. That once great nation of Israel was never the same after that… till today as we see strife in Middle East. Down hill it went! So we read…
18 King Rehoboam sent Adoniram, who was in charge of the labor force, to restore order, but all Israel stoned him to death. When this news reached King Rehoboam, he quickly jumped into his chariot and fled to Jerusalem. 19 The northern tribes of Israel have refused to be ruled by a descendant of David to this day.
20 When the people of Israel learned of Jeroboam’s return from Egypt, they called an assembly and made him king over all Israel. So only the tribe of Judah remained loyal to the family of David.
The kingdom is literally torn apart! Violence erupted and blood flowed! What a legacy from Solomon! Judah and Israel became two nations instead of one. Israel became a nation of idol worshipers! Read on v.25 ff…
25 Jeroboam then built up the city of Shechem in the hill country of Ephraim, and it became his capital. Later he went and built up the town of Peniel. 26 Jeroboam thought to himself, “Unless I am careful, the kingdom will return to the dynasty of David. 27 When they go to Jerusalem to offer sacrifices at the Temple of the LORD, they will again give their allegiance to King Rehoboam of Judah. They will kill me and make him their king instead.”
28 So on the advice of his counselors, the king made two gold calves. He said to the people, “It is too much trouble for you to worship in Jerusalem. O Israel, these are the gods who brought you out of Egypt!”
29 He placed these calf idols at the southern and northern ends of Israel—in Bethel and in Dan. 30 This became a great sin, for the people worshiped them, traveling even as far as Dan.
31 Jeroboam built shrines at the pagan high places and ordained priests from the rank and file of the people—those who were not from the priestly tribe of Levi. 32 Jeroboam also instituted a religious festival in Bethel, held on a day in midautumn, similar to the annual Festival of Shelters in Judah. There at Bethel he himself offered sacrifices to the calves he had made. And it was at Bethel that he appointed priests for the pagan shrines he had made. 33 So on the appointed day in midautumn, a day that he himself had designated, Jeroboam offered sacrifices on the altar at Bethel. He instituted a religious festival for Israel, and he went up to the altar to burn incense.
The so-called “success” of Solomon is now duplicated by Jeroboam (Jerry), he too went the same way, setting up idol worship in Israel. Perhaps, motivated by Solomon’s empire and success, he too went after that… but he should have heard what Solomon found out… in Eccl.4:4. “Then I observed that most people are motivated to success by their envy of their neighbors. But this, too, is meaningless, like chasing the wind.”
So Jerry worked hard and tried hard to duplicate success, it was all meaningless as it amounted to nothing. In just 2 years after his death, his entire household was wiped out in a revolt (1 Kings 15:9-10). Today we find pro sports stars duking it out with their salaries, it seems only point in life, is I have a couple more million dollars more than you. We find people trying hard to chase after the elusive pot of gold, and the motive behind all this? Envy? Is life that shallow? It seems so.
So why work at all, if everything is futile, why try to live breaking your back? Some may want to think that way. Read v.5: “5 Foolish people refuse to work and almost starve. 6 They feel it is better to be lazy and barely survive than to work hard, especially when in the long run everything is so futile.”
If u don’t, then starve! Want to suffer? I don’t think anyone is that crazy, but there are some that choose that way. Wise fathers will choose otherwise.
Wise fathers will choose to invest in the future success of relationships.
They invest through work.
7 I observed yet another example of meaninglessness in our world. 8 This is the case of a man who is all alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, “Who am I working for? Why am I giving up so much pleasure now?” It is all so meaningless and depressing.
“Who am I working for?” Wise fathers, wise people will work because of relationships. We have careers not merely to work, we have careers not merely to get a salary, we have careers to support relationships, which means career is secondary, and if it gets in the way, we sacrifice. It is this kind of sacrifice that father’s day I believe wants to honor, not just fathers who spend so much time away from home, that kids can hardly recognize you. Ask the question: Who am I working for? What am I giving up my time for? For work? Then it is a case of one who is alone…Do u have a tendency to lock away self in work?
They invest through relationships with their one wife, not numerous wives like Solomon. Past week we see played out in the news: destructive force of people who do not invest in their wives: see in Nadia Hama’s story (down syndrome kid that was thrown from Capilano Suspension Bridge in Sept 1999) who now will be left alone, her two kids given over to her former husband and Blue Edwards, ex- NBA Grizzlie, inter-racial kid, from extra-marital affair) both involving custody of their children.
They invest in efficient shared work load.
9 Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor.”
Days when my wife gets sick, or is away, it can get ugly, I tell ya!
They invest in a back-up system
10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble.
Dr. Larry Crabb recalls an incident in the church he attended as a young man. It was customary in this church that young men were encouraged to participate in the communion services by praying out loud. Feeling the pressure of expectation, the young Crabb (who had a problem with stuttering) stood to pray. In a terribly confused prayer, he recalls "thanking the Father for hanging on the cross and praising Christ for triumphantly bringing the Spirt from the grave."
When he finished, he vowed he would never again speak or pray out loud in front of a group.
At the end of the service, not wanting to meet any of the church elders who might feel constrained to correct his theology, Crabb made for the door. Before he could get out, an older man named Jim Dunbar caught him.
Having prepared himself for the anticipated correction, Crabb instead found himself listening to these words: "Larry, there’s one thing I want you to know. Whatever you do for the Lord, I’m behind you one thousand percent."
Crabb reflects in his book: "Even as I write these words, my eyes fill with tears. I have yet to tell that story to an audience without at least mildly choking. Those words were life words. They had power. They reached deep into my being."
(Larry Crabb, "Encouaragement, The Key to Caring")
Crabb was not left alone, a father figure knew people desperately need and long for back-up and not left standing alone.
They invest in comfort. Benefit of warmth
11 And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone?
Folks who have lived through prairie winters can appreciate this. There is good payback for good relationships, esp. with wife! Wise fathers do not sleep alone!
ILLUS: Jackie Robinson was the first black to play major league baseball. While breaking baseball’s "color barrier," he faced jeering crowds in every stadium. While playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error. His own fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base, humiliated, while the fans jeered.
Then shortstop "Pee Wee" Reese came over and stood next to him. He put his arm around Jackie Robinson and faced the crowd. The fans grew quiet. Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved his career.
Now you may say to yourself, "I wish I had a friend like that", or "I’m glad I have a friend like that." But I want to challenge you today to be able to say, "I want to BE a friend like that!" World often gives us the cold shoulder, death stares, jeers, but its feels so much better when warmth comes into our lives, nothing like a good hug. Wise fathers will give a sense of warmth to their wives and kids.
They invest in strengthening the family, rather than tear it down weak.
12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Wise fathers will invest in family time, be with them, can’t be head of household, if the head is missing. You can stand better… One mom , one dad, kids and God…
3 Children are a gift from the LORD;
they are a reward from him.
4 Children born to a young man
are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hands.
5 How happy is the man whose quiver is full of them!
He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates. Ps.127:3-5 (NLT)
Most important fact of all, look at how the Heavenly Father invested in relationship. He gave His only Son as a sacrifice so you and I can live, if we trust Him…Honor the heavenly Father today! Honor Him, he is to only one who brings it all together, we will never be put to shame, even if the devil were to point a finger at us.
1 John 3 (NLT) declares: “See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don’t know God, so they don’t understand that we are his children. 2 Yes, dear friends, we are already God’s children, and we can’t even imagine what we will be like when Christ returns. But we do know that when he comes we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is. 3 And all who believe this will keep themselves pure, just as Christ is pure.”
It is not a meaningless life, my friends, that we live. It would be if there is no such thing as relationship or love. But God gave us families and dads and moms and siblings and kids, and all of that is a hint given by God, there is love in the universe, meaning, we are not just slime that came together by accident, we came together by design with purpose, and is for a love relationship.
What are working for? Relationships (vertical and horizontal)
1. Father in heaven who loves u.
2. Brothers and sister in Christ.
3. Own biological family.
4. Lost people (potential brothers and sisters)
Happy are folks who have quiver full of relationships… best investment, three or more behind you, you’re in good shape. Wisdom in this verse in Ps.127:1-2 (NLT)
“Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is useless. Unless the LORD protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good. It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones”
Success without God in it is empty – not only does the Eccl. Writer said so but also the Psalmist. It is plain foolishness to get busy apart from God. If we are to live wisely as fathers, I believe God would have us first, of all give our lives to serve Him only. We need to let the Lord build the house of love. Forgetting God, leaving God behind is about the worst thing you can do for your family. There is a danger of wiping out your own godly legacy forever. For if we build it with own measure of success and what we deem is worthy, it would be meaningless. See Solomon’s kingdom was torn into two, left a legacy of broken lives and violence! I really do not believe we want to leave our kids with such a legacy, do we?
