June 6th 2001
What Does a Godly Father Look Like?
Dad was sick in bed with the flu and he watched his darling little girl, as she wanted to nurse him back to good health. She fluffed his pillow, she brought him his book to read, and she even brought him a surprise cup of tea. Dad said as he drank the tea "Sweetie I did not know you knew how to make tea?"
"Oh yes" the little girl replied " I learned by watching you. I put the tealeaves in the pan, like you do, then I put the water in like you do, and I boiled it and then dad I strained it into your favorite mug. The only thing is I could not find a strainer so I used the fly swatter." "You what?" dad screamed. "Oh dad don’t worry" she said " I didn’t use the new fly swatter, I used the old one."
Andy Mason Signal article Vol. 29 Issue 9 May 9 2001.
What does a Godly Father look like?
1. He is present and involved.
One young man told me his father was so detached from his life that the best advice he ever gave him was when he told him "son listen to your mother."
And as is more typical today than not, poor mom is the one who has to be breadwinner, taxi, chief cook and bottle washer, dad, banker and disciplinarian all wrapped into one and mother and children suffer because dads are not present and involved in the lives of their families.
Think about Jesus:
In all likelihood it was Joseph with the strong callused hands of a carpenter that gently caught that newborn baby and wrapped him in swaddling and placed him in that manger.
Even before his mother held him it was from Joseph that Jesus felt the presence, protection and care of his earthly father.
What other impact did Joseph have on this child’s life?
Joseph understood like all of us should that our children are a gift from God, they belong to God and we are placed above them as stewards, as asset managers and the whole time we are blessed by the responsibility God has given us, as we prove ourselves faithful!
Some of my preacher friends have dads who were or still are preachers today.
Do you think they were affected most by their dad’s flawless techniques for constructing life-changing sermons? Or were they most impressed by their dad’s who had a strategy for growing large churches? Maybe one would think they were most grateful for their dad’s ministry accomplishments and the public recognition of their father’s.
(excerpted from Focus on the family website Family.org " A Father’s Influence."
Answer:
No to all!
These preacher friends are most influenced by the way their dad’s lived their lives. They each share that they were most thankful for the examples their father’s gave them. The passion they have for Christ, the compassion they showed for lost people, broken people and hurting families.
The greatest influence a dad can have on his children is simply WHO HE IS! As a matter of fact that is the greatest influence we have on all people.
Oh! I can deliver a great sermon on Sunday morning about Saint Peter at the gate, the linen robe or the golden calf. But my value as a dad, as a husband, as a minister, as a person comes from the sharing of my presence, from the time spent with my kids and the values and priorities by which I live.
The Godly Father lives his commitment to God.
It was not that Joseph taught Jesus how to be an excellent carpenter or that we teach or daughters how to cook or our sons how to play shortstop. Although these things have their purpose.
But what matters is that we have shown them by example how to love and respect others. Have we shown our sons how to treat women as mothers or sisters with dignity? Have we modeled to our daughters and sons what a godly husband looks like? Have we taught them how to face insults, persecution and offense by blessing those who persecute us, loving them serving them and praying for them?
Have we shown our children how to give and share by our own giving and sharing sacrificially? Have we shown our children how to pray? How to read and revere scripture? How to apply the word of God to their lives as we apply it to ours? Have we lived love, shown love to all? Do we obey God?
The godly Father’s child will never say, " I never knew my dad?"
A Father’s Influence by Dan Davidson taken from Focus on the Family.org June 4 2001.
I received a letter from a single mother who had raised a son who was about to become a dad. Since he had no recollection of his own father, her question to me was "What do I tell him a father does?"
When my dad died in my ninth year, I, too, was raised by my mother, giving rise to the same question, "What do fathers do?" As far as I could observe, they brought around the car when it rained so everyone else could stay dry.
They always took the family pictures, which is why they were never in them. They carved turkeys on Thanksgiving, kept the car gassed up, weren’t afraid to go into the basement, mowed the lawn, and tightened the clothesline to keep it from sagging.
It wasn’t until my husband and I had children that I was able to observe firsthand what a father contributed to a child’s life. What did he do to deserve his children’s respect? He rarely fed them, did anything about their sagging diapers, wiped their noses or fannies, played ball, or bonded with them under the hoods of their cars.
What did he do?
He threw them higher than his head until they were weak from laughter. He cast the deciding vote on the puppy debate. He listened to them more than he talked. He let them make mistakes. He allowed them to fall from their first two-wheeler without having a heart attack. He read a newspaper while they were trying to parallel park the car for the first time in preparation for their driving test.
If I had to tell someone’s son what a father really does that is important, it would be that he shows up for the job in good times and bad times. He’s a man who is constantly being observed by his children. They learn from him how to handle adversity, anger, disappointment and success.
He won’t laugh at their dreams no matter how impossible they might seem. He will dig out at 1 a.m. when one of his children runs out of gas. He will make unpopular decisions and stand by them. When he is wrong and makes a mistake, he will admit it. He sets the tone for how family members treat one another, members of the opposite sex and people who are different than they are. By example, he can instill a desire to give something back to the community when its needs are greater than theirs.
But mostly, a good father involves himself in his kids’ lives. The more responsibility he has for a child, the harder it is to walk out of his life.
A father has the potential to be a powerful force in the life of a child. Grab it! Maybe you’ll get a greeting card for your efforts. Maybe not. But it’s steady work.
Erma Bombeck Field Enterprises.
Speaking of cards.
I like the story of the teen age boy who remembered at the final hour on Saturday night that in just a few hours his dad would be rising for his father’s day breakfast, it was almost midnight curfew and he had forgotten to get a card. As he raced into the 24 hr Walgren’s they only had 2 cards left. He chose the one that said Dad Happy Father’s Day from your loving daughter. Dad, got up Mom had breakfast on the table the son came downstairs, the proud dad opened his card, read it and said "son you sent me a card as if you were my daughter. The son said Dad I thought it was better than my other option, which read "Now that we are both father’s"
James Dobson says "Lead a boy to the right man and he will seldom go wrong, especially when the right man is his father."
Play: I want to be just like you."
The same is true of our daughter’s. Heidi Kauffman writes: The worst feeling I ever had was the night dad caught me doing something terrible. It was midnight, the crickets were chirping in unison with the twinkling of the stars. There was no moon, only a dense fog that sent tremors of urgency through me, creating tears of frustration in the corners of my eyes. I had to get home, only a half-mile left. I made a silent promise to myself, " I am never doing this EVER again." It is not worth it. Sneaking out at night behind my parent’s backs just to see Justin and sit on his trampoline and talk. I will wait until I am 16 to date just as they have decided, anything as long as I do not have to feel this guilty ever again."
But my decision was made far too late. The road I was riding my bike on began to rumble and the sky lit up, as if the sun was rising right there. I began to panic, but I did not have time to jump into the bushes and hide. My worst nightmare was coming true. The pick-up truck roaring down the road was my dad’s and it was his voice that said "Put your bike in the back and get in."
I was grounded for the entire month of July, but the bulk of my pain came from the fact that I had let my dad down. He never yelled, slammed his fist, he was meek, gentle and strong. My dad and mom were strong Christians. I respected his authority and his wisdom and intelligence. What I did was a crime against him. What makes it worse is that I realized that I trampled on his grace. It came when my mom said " I hope you know how badly you hurt your dad.’ It still hurts after all these years when I think about it. My dad has since died and what I would give to hear him speak to me today, a rare man who loved me the way he did.
It still troubles me because I had a dad who loved me, trusted me, respected me, I was not desperate to have a boyfriend because I had a bad father, like so many girls are. I cry still today because I lost his trust and respect that night.
It is the Godly father who holds the key to his daughter’s self esteem, emotional stability, behavior and expectations in dating and marriage and the ability she will develop to see herself as a fully functioning adult.
A loving, involved attentive father can save his daughter from a lifetime of painful and destructive experiences. A girl who grows up with the perception that her father loves her, believes in her, trusts her and celebrates the unique person that she is has a much better chance of reaching her God given potential than one who is left to fend for herself.
Research has shown that warm affectionate fathers have a positive personal impact on the way their girls adjust to life.
Godly fathers communicate with their daughters they do not treat them as some strange species that cannot be touched or understood.
A godly father will show his daughter the way she is to be treated by the way he treats her mother and the first thing the godly father does is make a commitment to stay married to his wife.
A godly father will treat women with respect and dignity and when he does his daughter will look for a man who treats her the way her father treated her mother.
Godly fathers do not treat their daughters as creatures from another planet, because daughters need a strong father. Dads, if we are not involved in our daughters lives if we do not fill our role dads they will find a boy who will.
Listen with me to the next song: "Her Daddy’s Love"
And it all boils down to this that God can make up the difference where we fall short with our kids, even the most perfect dad in the world can never take the place of God, so godly dads lead their kids to God through Christ. God is there for all his kids. So kids if our dads have been absent from our lives, well God is present, all the time.
Godly fathers forgive their children in Luke 15: 11-32 we read the story of the prodigal son, everyday dad looked for that son to come home. You know the story the kid basically wished his Jewish dad was dead by requesting his inheritance a head of time. But the famine comes to the sons life and he craves the pods the pigs eat, he is sorry for his mistake and he knows he has sinned against God, against dad and he heads toward home. Well, this story tells me a great deal about the dad and the love for his Son. Enough love to allow him to learn a tough lesson in life at great expense to himself.
Listen to Jesus’s words:
Luke 15:20 "And he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him, and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him, and kissed him.
Luke 15:21 "And the son said to him, ’Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
Prodigals hurt people, they break the hearts of their parents, they take advantage of siblings, they jeopardize the family’s reputation and they drain the family’s assets. Only so much pain can be dumped on a dad or a mom or other family members before they grow indifferent. It is difficult for the injured not to want to punish the offender and make him or her pay for the pain they caused.
The real truth is that there is in each of us a little prodigal and someday all of us are going to make our way toward the Father’s house. When you do, do not be surprised as Jesus runs out to meet you with open arms and with when those nail- pierced hands he holds your face, kisses you and whispers "welcome home. "
Rich is going to play: "He knows your name"
Kids if you are here tonight and you are living your life in a way that is wrong in God’s eyes, then it is wrong in your parent’s eyes too, you need to repent, confess and get back with mom and dad or maybe it is just mom. Kids repentance is key to coming home, home to mom and dad, home to the church and someday home to Christ. We must stop hurting and destroying by our actions.
Parents, Repentance is key, if your son or daughter comes home, repentant, confessing show them the Father by showing your children the grace and forgiveness our Father in heaven has shown us.
