18And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 19And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. 20And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. 21And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
A man went to see his doctor in an acute state of anxiety. Doc, he began, you gotta help me. I¡¦m dying! Everywhere I touch it hurts. I touch my head, it hurts; I touch my leg, it hurts; I touch my stomach it hurts; it all hurts. You gotta help me, Doc, I¡¦m dying.
After a complete examination the doctor said, Harry, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, you¡¦re NOT dying. But, Doc, everywhere I touch¡K. Relax, Harry, you¡¦re not dying, you have a broken finger.
In our world today marriage has been pronounced Dead on Arrival by a society with a broken finger. God has not (contrary to popular opinion in media and moronic atheism) abrogated the running of the universe to number-crunching poll watchers.
I would like you to listen to some excerpts from a 1993 newsletter I received from Dr. James Dobson¡¦s Focus on the Family, the theme of which centered around articles presented by Time magazine about the future:
¡Kit¡¦s interesting to see what Time¡¦s editors and their selected ¡¥experts¡¦ think will happen in the years ahead. They spelled it out this past fall, in a special edition entitled ¡¥Beyond the Year 2000: What to Expect in the New Millennium.¡¦
The magazine consisted of 93 pages of dreary predictions and analyses of the future. Many of their conclusions dealt with the institution of the family, which Time believes is destined for the junk heap. For example, the section dealing with marriage and parenthood bore this headline: ¡¥The Nuclear Family Goes Boom!¡¦ The article went downhill from there. This, says Time, is what we can expect in the 21st century:
1. The family as we have known it will soon die. It is nothing more than an interesting anomaly ¡V a mere blip in human history. We thought of it as ¡¥normal,¡¦ but we were wrong. The very term ¡¥nuclear family¡¦ will give off a musty smell in the days ahead.
2. Replacing it will be multiple marriages, or what will be known as ¡¥serial monogamy.¡¦ Divorce will be so common as to be considered normal. Some marriages will have ¡¥sunset clauses¡¦ to automatically terminate at a given age. Couples reaching their 50th anniversaries will be as rare as today¡¦s piano or cello virtuosos ¡V gifted masters of their craft.
3. Many women will live with other women, much like the ¡¥Golden Girls¡¦ are depicted on the television sitcom.
4. Children will live with a bewildering array of relatives ¡V mothers, fathers, multiple stepmothers and stepfathers, stepbrothers and stepsisters, grandparents and former grandparents, etc.
5. The taboo against incest will weaken. The fractured family will consist of relatives, non-relatives and former relatives, breaking down the obsolete prohibition against intimacies at home¡K
¡K8. Pediatricians will teach children about the use of condoms at the time of their vaccinations against disease.
9. Theology, the study of God and the Bible, will soon die. Schoolchildren of tomorrow will have no knowledge of spiritual matters, nor even any interest in this topic.
10. The triumph of feminist religion will cause many Christians and Jews to shun references to God in personal terms (no more Lord or Heavenly Father). This in turn (will) strengthen the groups that worship a mysterious nature-force to seek to deify the self.
11. Forced abortion, such as China imposes on its women, will be necessary in nations with exploding populations. Representative Patricia Schroeder, D-Colo., spelled out the ideal: The most important goal for the 21st century is family planning for everyone.
12. The bottom line? Let me quote: ¡¥¡Kan even more radical approach may evolve. It is reasonable to ask whether there will be a family at all. Given the propensity for divorce, the growing number of adults who choose to remain single, the declining popularity of having children and the evaporation of the time families spend together, another way may eventually evolve. It may be quicker and more efficient to dispense with family-based reproduction. Society could then produce its future generations in institutions that might resemble state-sponsored baby hatcheries¡K¡¦(1)
Marriage is that peculiar state of being that has taken its¡¦ share of criticism, and spawned more than its¡¦ share of caricatures.
It is reported that the Vatican has a Bible two feet thick, and another only an inch square. Guides tell visitors, "The big Bible contains everything Eve said to Adam -- the little one is what she let Adam say."
Marriage is not really the problem. The problem with marriages is what happens within poor marriages -- and the pain that results from the failure of so many marriages within our society. It is the broken-finger syndrome pressed against the backdrop of God¡¦s good creation, marriage, the family and home.
Singer Olivia Newton-John was asked recently why she hadn¡¦t gotten married earlier, and she shared how when she was ten years old, her parents went through a devastating divorce. She said, "You know, it¡¦s hard to believe a relationship can last when you¡¦ve never seen one." (2)
What is wrong with marriage in America? More than ten years ago, Josh McDowell, the popular preacher and minister to America¡¦s youth, identified a major problem that attacks and ruins many peoples¡¦ chance of ever having a happy marriage:
"Another reason for where our young people are today is the lack of intimacy. A little over a year ago I debated the co-founder of Playboy on television for three hours. He agreed with me on this point. My statement was this -- we have not been through a sexual revolution. We have not. What we have been through in the last fifteen years has been a revolution in the search for intimacy. Most of our young people do not want the physical aspect of sex, they want someone who cares. They want to be able to care. They want intimacy. We have allowed our culture to dictate to us that the only way you find intimacy is through the physical -- and that¡¦s an absolute lie!
One woman called me at a university. She said, ¡¦Mr. McDowell, in the last five nights I¡¦ve gone to bed with five different men. I got out of bed tonight and looked back and said to myself, ¡¦Is that all there is to it?¡¦ and she started crying. She said, ¡¦Please sir, tell me there¡¦s something more!¡¦ I said, ¡¦Yes, it¡¦s called intimacy. It¡¦s what the Bible calls ¡¦the two shall become one.¡¦" (3)
What Josh McDowell has been telling us for years is the same thing our text says -- marriage is God¡¦s way.
Notice, please,
God knows our need for
Relationship (intimacy)
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. Genesis 2.18a
God Knows Us
When God expressed that it is not good to be alone, He used a word that gives the picture of a branch separated from the tree, or a body part, missing from the body. We could paraphrase this; it¡¦s not a good thing for the man to be alone, like a severed arm from its body.
God created us.
He knows that He placed within our souls the need and desire to have relationships. We are made in His image, and the best description of the kind of intimacy God wants is the permanence and security of a marriage.
Someone once said that marriage is like a Jiffy store -- Not much variety, but at 3AM, it¡¦s always there. God knows our need of the kind of intimacy we can trust and count on.
God Plans For Us
I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2.18b
The 17th century wording is difficult, but meet simply means God wanted to provide the opportunity for man to be fulfilled -- to have an intimate relationship that complements or completes him. The word comes from a verb meaning to surround, succor (nurture). This means that the woman God made was to correspond to the man. She is to fill up what he lacks.
J. Vernon McGee made the point that man is to be the aggressor, woman the responder.(4)
Women¡¦s groups have much difficulty with that concept. However, that is God¡¦s plan. That is how He constructed our respective psyches.
This presents a well-defined understanding of a dynamic seen in many marriages. A wife who is busy plotting and scheming to go around the husband¡¦s leadership is generally the result of that man not being the spiritual aggressor, not leading his home with love, service and sacrifice.
Gentlemen, God¡¦s plan for your home is for you to act in love, giving yourself as Christ did for the church. Ladies, God¡¦s original plan for the woman was to respond to that love, and pay honor to your husband, respecting him. God¡¦s plan!! Not Molly Yard!!
God Shows Us
And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast....and brought them unto Ad¡¦am to see what he would call them:
but for Ad¡¦am there was not found an help meet for him.
Genesis 2.19-20
The old story has Adam and God sitting in the garden. God is bringing all the animals to Adam for naming. When God brings the elephant, he says, What shall we name this one, Adam? Adam responds, I dunno, Lord, he looks more like an elephant than anything else. (5)
The real point to this process is that Ad¡¦am had his choice over all the relationships of the earth, yet nothing corresponded to his nature. No plants, birds, fish, or animals had a nature like his. God was showing Ad¡¦am more than animals to name -- the Lord was teaching him he was empty without relationship on a spiritual level. He was teaching him that intimacy is our foremost need. God left Ad¡¦am alone in the garden, and it showed him his need for human intimacy.
Today, Adam¡¦s descendants are born in our spiritual aloneness. We are born into a world of sin, and we choose sin rather early in life. In much the same way that God showed Ad¡¦am his need for human intimacy, God shows us our need for spiritual intimacy with Him.
Sin is separation - being severed from the God who craves intimacy with us...and we for Him.
God said, It is not good to be alone. God knows all about our need for intimacy in relationships. The next step is obvious for a God who cares...
God meets our need for
Relationship (intimacy)
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Ad¡¦am, and he took one of his ribs...And the rib,
which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Ad¡¦am said,
This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:
she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Genesis 2.21-23
God¡¦s Provision
That which Ad¡¦am needed most, was that which God was happy to supply. The rib has always caused a lot of speculation. One wag offered this conversation between God and Ad¡¦am,
Lord, I¡¦m lonely. I need to have some company here.
OK, Ad¡¦am. I¡¦m going to give you the perfect woman.
„« She will be intelligent, beautiful and gracious.
„« She will cook your meals, clean the Garden,
„« She will raise the kids flawlessly and never nag or speak an ugly word to you.
Wow! Sounds good.... But, what¡¦s it gonna cost me?
An arm and a leg, boy!
Well, replied the man, That¡¦s really steep -- what can I get for a rib? (5)
The word for "man" is "¡¦iysh" in Hebrew. The word for "woman" is ishshah, meaning taken out of a man. Actually, Hebrew scholars say that "ishshah" (the woman) is almost inexpressible in English. (So they are!)
The woman was taken out of the man, and brought to him. That is written in such a way as to imply that she was brought to the man to abide (stay forever) with him. This is the very first marriage ceremony. And God tied a good knot!
God¡¦s provision was to give the ¡¦¡¦iysh (man) an ishshah (woman).
God¡¦s Instruction
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2.24
Names mean something in Hebrew culture. Part of God¡¦s instruction is a picture. This is the first time ¡¦iysh (man) appears in the Scripture. Before this he was simply Ad¡¦am (meaning ruddy or having color in the face). This suggests that man was not anything complete until there was woman.
This further suggests God¡¦s purpose and program in marriage. It is the "leaving and cleaving" principle. It is my thesis this morning, gleaned from the Scripture, that God¡¦s whole program of life, and eternal life, revolves around the intimacy of relationships -- and the sacredness of that intimacy.
Leaving means loosening the ties of the nest of your upbringing.
Cleaving, (according to a literal interpretation) means clinging to after catching by pursuit.
„« For young people who get married it means stop depending on Momma and Daddy -- build your own nest, work out your own problems.
„« You wives have a husband to protect you; Daddy is not your champion any more. Look to your husband.
„« Young men, grow up. Your wife comes first! Put away the things of childhood -- be a man!
And being a man means being a one-woman man. There is nothing more sacred you owe to your wife than the integrity of your sexuality.
A newspaper editor ran a contest for the best answer to the question: Why is a newspaper like a good woman? The answer that won was theologically sound:
A newspaper is like a good woman because every man ought to have one of his own, and not look at his neighbor¡¦s!
That¡¦s good advice, young men and women!
„« David looked at another man¡¦s wife and it caused a whole nation to suffer.
„« Samson looked at a woman who wasn¡¦t his wife, and he got a haircut that ended his manhood, not to mention his life.
To you who become the in-laws: Gaining a son or daughter-in-law means only two words: BUTT-OUT!!
Young people have a hard enough time adjusting to the difficulties and challenges that marriage present. They don¡¦t need you to complicate the matter.
The first six months Elizabeth and I shared a home together, we were 800 miles from either parents. It was the best thing "Uncle Sam" ever did for Mrs. Brownworth¡¦s little boy! We were stationed at Fort Knox in the foreign land of Louisville, KY, far away from our childhood homes. I had to learn to care for my wife without the blessed advice (wanted or inflicted) by either set of parents.
You parents and grandparents have a tremendous responsibility to pray earnestly for your children and grandchildren. Today, when Biblical marriage is all but forgotten, and so needed, our children need prayer and guidance as they¡¦re growing -- that they will learn the type of mate to look for.
The television will tell them to look for the physical and material things. You must model the spiritual side of life. That means you must live it to teach it!
Genuine Biblical relationships are intimate relationships -- and it is always spiritual before physical!! God provides, instructs.... And if we do it his way, it always bears good fruit:
Relationship¡¦s Fruition
And they were both naked, the man and his wife,
and were not ashamed. Genesis 2.25
The word "ashamed" is derived from a word that means to see the blood drain, become pale. When someone is startled and afraid, the blood drains quickly away from the extremities, and towards the inner parts. It is a physiological reaction to the stimulus of fear.
Adam and Eve had nothing to be ashamed (afraid) of -- they were married by God himself.
The Bible says they were naked. The word means there was nothing unknown or hidden from each other. Beloved, that is not a "formula for marriage" -- that is a condition of an intimate relationship! Adam and Eve were one with each other and God. That is the basis for intimacy, for real life.
Intimacy is the missing ingredient in every empty relationship.
„« In the Yuppie, attempting to build his life on material possessions, the missing intimacy cannot be replaced with a BMW.
„« With the homemaker whose husband thinks more of his job than his mate, that good looking young guy who lives down the street won¡¦t replace Godly intimacy, but she needs something!
Today, many relationships in or out of marriage suffer from a lack of intimacy.
„« Churches can be cold, formal and stiff. We need more intimacy with Christ and each other.
„« Government rules, but cannot provide what society really needs to counter crime and hate. If, in our cities, we foster genuine, intimate relationships, it will cast out the things of darkness.
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. (6) That¡¦s intimacy!
Intimacy -- within or without the realm of marriage -- begins in the heart of God. He offered His dear Son, Jesus as the groom. Jesus is coming for His bride someday. Do you want to be part of the most loving intimate of all relationships? Accept Jesus today -- learn what real relationship -- real intimacy is. It¡¦s God¡¦s way. It¡¦s a good way. Make it your way. Amen.
------
Endnotes:
1. Time Magazine published by Time-Warner. Dr. Dobson¡¦s comments based on several other articles in that special edition of Time, including Why, You don¡¦t Look a Day Over 100!, Kingdoms to Come, Too Many People, and Great Goals.
2. The Bible Illustrator, (Hiawatha, Ia, Parson¡¦s Technology), 1620-1621
3. Josh McDowell, Quoted at Moody Founder¡¦s Week, 1986
4. J. Vernon McGee, Through the Bible Commentary, Vol 1, (Pasadena, Ca, Thru The Bible Radio, 1981), 22
5. Martha G. Verlander, as quoted in The Reader¡¦s Digest, February 1991, 82
6. Dina Maria Mulock Craik
