HANOVER BAPTIST CHURCH
JUNE 18, 2000
J.D. Traylor, Pastor
“God’s Word for Good Dads”
Psalm 127
Sometimes Dads are honored as guys who can do no wrong, but in reality, sometimes Dads
do dumb things. A week ago our son Michael and I stopped at a grocery store and the items
we purchased were placed by the store employee into a couple of bags while I wrote out the
check. I really wasn’t paying all that much attention to the bagging process; I just noticed
Michael pick up a bag and carry it out, and I turned to go out, just thinking we had all the
merchandise. We got through the automatic door and Michael noticed I was empty-handed,
so he turned and asked if I was bringing the second bag.
I responded that I didn’t realize there was a second bag, so I wheeled around to go retrieve
that second bag, as just as I turned around that door was just closing, and I walked right into
the door! I didn’t think it was funny, but Michael sure seemed to get a charge out of it, and
couldn’t wait to get back to our house and tell everybody else about Dad’s blunder.
Sometimes Dads do dumb things; sometimes they look bad; sometimes they even embarrass
their kids. Dads need God’s help, don’t they? Let’s look at Psalm 127: “God’s Word for
Good Dads.”
“Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders are in vain. Unless the Lord
watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise up
early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat for He grants sleep to those He
loves. Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him, Like
arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the
man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they
contend with their enemies in the gate.”
Now we have 4 DYNAMIC PRINCIPLES FOR THE HOME, and I wonder if we
might consider these truths from God’s Word, especially as pertaining to Dads.
Truth #1 is this: We must seek God as the One Who can build our homes.
Now every home has a builder, someone who was responsible for the actual construction
from floor to roof, someone who brought it together and made it a livable residence. In a
spiritual sense, God must be the Builder of our homes. He’s not working with hammer and
nails, but with intangible materials like love and faithfulness and character and leadership.
He desires to lay a foundation, put up the framing, and do the finish work. God needs to be
the stated Leader and in the position of Headship in each household, Psalm 127:1 says,
“Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.”
If you, dad, want your home to stand firm, you need far more than what you alone can bring
to the situation; you must have help from God above. Church Swindoll said this: “work,
strive, fret, worry, plan, strain all you wish, but if the Lord is not the very center of your
home, all your additional effort to make it strong is futile and worthless, Mom and dad. . . .at
the foundation level of instruction on a happy home, Christ must be first.”
When a person employs a contractor to build a house, they inspect the qualifications of the
contractor, and then they sign an agreement with the builder. You and I need to see that
God and God alone is qualified to be our master Builder, and we need to sign on with Him,
and dad, that especially begins with you. Dad should set the tone by agreeing that the Lord
Himself should be the overseer and the Center of that Dad’s home, and Dad should lead the
way as the spiritual leader, a man who loyally follows Jesus himself and encourages
everybody else in the family to do so.
If a dad wants to lead his family properly, he first of all must himself be a faithful follower
of the Lord Jesus. So we begin with this basic statement: We must seek God as the one
Who can build our homes.
Truth # 2 is this: We must See God as the One Who Provides what Every Home
Needs. This is an outgrowth of our first conclusion about seeking God as our Builder.
When Jesus is our Builder, when Jesus is the Nucleus of the home, what will that home
have? Just what it needs.
Psalm 127:2, states “In vain you rise up early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat, for He
grants sleep to those He loves.” You can’t pay for sleep; you can’t buy rest that you need,
but God can give it. God gives to the home what the home really needs. The greatest need
in the American home today is not a 60” projection TV or a larger family room, or a
swimming pool. The greatest needs of our homes are the things that money can’t buy.
God’s Word says God gives sleep and many other necessities in life that can’t be purchased
monetarily.
Money can’t buy love, or joy, or peace, but the Lord can place these things in the hearts of
everyone who lives in your house. Have you heard of J. Paul Getty? A few decades ago
he was a multi-billionaire when a billion dollars was worth a lot more money than it is now.
This man was one of the richest men on earth in providing income for his family, but by his
own admission he was a failure in the things that really mattered. He said he envied those
who could make a marriage work; he was married 5 times, with 5 failures. He said his
memories of his relationships with his five sons were “painful” and part of the problem was
that he was forever away on business. Listen Dad, your kids don’t need a billion dollars;
they need a dad worth a billion dollars, a dad who shows by his own life and teaches his kids
that Jesus meets every need.
When a dad falls in love with the Lord and walks with Jesus, that gives a man the liberty he
needs, sets a man free, and sir, if you’re not in bondage, your family is much less likely to be;
then your family can be prosperous in the things that matter. God should lead the dad and
the dad should lead the home. In Matthew 12:29, Jesus said,”...how can anyone enter a
strong man’s house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man?
Then he can rob the house.” Dad, how is satan going to destroy your home if you’re
standing strong with the Lord, guarding that home? He can’t!
You’ll have the potential to be the father and husband your need to be if Jesus is first in
your life, and that can position those in your family to reach their potential, for Jesus alone
gives us what we need to be the best we can be, doesn’t He? So we’ve drawn two
conclusions so far:
1st. We must Seek God as the One Who can build our homes
2nd. We must See God as the One Who provides what every home needs- He gives what
money can’t buy.
Truth #3 is this: We must Sense that Children are God’s Blessings to a Home.
Psalm 127:3 reads “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him.”
Children are a gift from God, aren’t they? The original Hebrew terminology meant children
were what God shared with earthly parents; our children are gifts He has assigned to us, to
care for and to lead. Our children are the Lord’s possession and property, for He loans
them to us for a little while. Please don’t ever refer to a child as an “accident” You may not
have planned that pregnancy, but God planned to send that child of His to you, for you to
care for and guide. Your child is a reward God has given to you, and yes, they’re
demanding in terms of your time and energy, and yes, they cost a lot of money, but children
are a treasure sent down to you from God above, aren’t they? Let’s remember they’re a
priceless gift from our Father, and they’re really His, just assigned to us to tend to for a short
time, and we’ve got to make the moments count.
Dad, your children are so important, but your role too, is vitally important, so let’s get into
the fourth point, which is really the heart of the message. We’ve considered how We must
Seek God as the One Who can Build our Homes: willingly sign on with Him as your family’s
Home-builder; let God lead you dad, and everyone else at home also. Secondly, we said,
We must See God as the One Who Provides What Every Home Needs: He alone can give
the things that people need most. Thirdly, We must Sense that Children are God’s Blessings
to a Home: they are His choice reward: never see them as an encumbrance. and don’t grow
weary in the good work of rearing them (they’re on loan from God.)
Fourthly and finally, We must Send our Children Out as Arrows Aimed at a
Target. Verse 4 says, “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s
youth.” By this analogy, dads are like warriors, and our children are like arrows. When
dads shoot correctly, kids can hit the mark, but the arrows are no more effective than the
archer.
So let me say under this last point of sending our children out as arrows, first of all the
archer must be strong. Some of you have done some hunting by bow and arrow, and there
are a number of skills the archer must posses if he is to be accurate. There has to be
correction and a smooth release, but one component of successful archery is strength,
you’ve got to be able to have a full draw.
Now, a dad must be strong, because he has a difficult assignment. It’s not easy to be a
good man, but to be a good husband, and to be a good dad is even harder. A dad must be
strong, but I’m not talking about physical strength; some dads are limited in that. I’m talking
about spiritual strength, and every dad who is rooted and grounded on Jesus can be a tower
of strength. Philippians 4:13 says, “ I can do all things through Christ Who gives me
strength.” If a dad is to resist temptation and withstand hell’s assaults, that dad needs the
inner strength that only comes through a sellout to Jesus.
I know I need His strength, because it’s vitally important for me to stand and not to fall as a
husband and father. I know it’s important for me to be a competent pastor to you, but I’ve
got another assignment and a higher ambition than being a good pastor, and that is to be a
good family man. You can get another pastor, but my wife has one husband and my kids
have only got one dad. I need Him to indwell and energize me for my big job, and sir, so do
you, don’t you?
So thinking about being a dad who shoots straight, we see that the archer must be strong,
then also the arrows must be straight. Dads and moms are given the awesome responsibility
from God to shape and straighten these young arrows the Lord gives to us. While we’ve got
to acknowledge that kids aren’t naturally born straight arrows, they can be bent and shaped.
If you were going to bend a tree in a certain direction, the time to do it is while the tree is
just a young sapling, still soft and pliable. The Bible says that children are born with a
tendency to sin; they’re the descendants of Adam and us, but they can be pointed to the
Lord, then shaped and molded, but we must begin early. Proverbs 22:6 demands we “Train
up a child the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” That classic
verse said, “train up a child.” while a child is young, soft, and pliable, let’s teach them the
differences between right and wrong, good and bad. It’s not the schools job to teach that,
and at best, your kids are here at church a few hours a week, so the church can’t do it all.
We know that culture and Hollywood won’t ingrain our values within our children, and God
tells us that responsibility is up to us; we can’t pass it off. We must shape and sharpen these
arrows, and it must start while they are young, before they are shot out. BUT HOW DO
WE SHAPE AND SHARPEN THEM? Very quickly, would you allow me to mention
eight very practical ways we can shape and sharpen our children? I’ve already mentioned
one:
#1 BEGIN EARLY TO TEACH THEM what they will need to know about God
and life and how to live.
#2 BE CREATIVE IN THE WAY YOU TEACH THEM: what I mean is, always be
looking for ways you can teach values to your children, and then creatively reinforce those
ways. God told the Israelites in Deuteronomy 6:6-7, “These commandments that I give you
are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children, talk about them when you sit at
home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” As you
go through life, whether in some current events matter, or some incident that has taken
place, if you see an opportunity to teach a life lesson, seize the moment. Maybe you’re
watching a ballgame and see an occurrence of sportsmanship or lack of it, point that out and
talk about it. Point to what’s right and wrong along the way of life.
#3 WORK TO BUILD CHARACTER: So many times we invest considerable time to
help our children succeed in the realms of athletics, academics, or the arts, but we may fail
to build character in them. To do well in sports and school and music is fine, but don’t just
compliment them on their skills in those areas. Teach them integrity and wise-decision
making, then praise them when they display upright character. Once one of our children
was running in a race at a school event, and they intentionally allowed a child with a
disability to pass them and win a ribbon. Cindy and I were more proud of our child for doing
that than if they would have won a gold medal in the Olympics. We shape and sharpen our
children by working to build character in them.
#4 LEARN TO SET SOME LIMITS ON YOUR CHILD. Some parents say “I don’t
want to set limits on my child!” God sets limits on His children, for their own good. For the
good of your children, you set limits on how late they can stay up, and as they grow older,
how late they can stay out. Don’t be afraid to say “we’re not watching that program; it
doesn’t fit us,” whether it’s MTV or Bart Simpson or a lewd or profane movie. Setting
limits on your kids won’t warp them; in fact, it sends them a signal that you care, and they
may not appreciate that now, but will later. Of course, if you set some principles and rules,
your child will push against them; if the wall you set up gives way, that will produce
insecurity in your child, but if you stand your ground, they’ll know you care.
#5 ASSIGN RESPONSIBILITIES TO YOUR KIDS. Give them some work, some
assignments to do. If you do everything for them they’ll have little self-reliance, but if they
take on a task and finish it and experience a sense of satisfaction from that, they will learn
the link between diligence and success. Don’t be afraid to give your child challenges.
#6 LET YOUR HOME BE FILLED WITH LAUGHTER. Proverbs 15:13 says, “ A
merry heart doth good like medicine.” Home ought not to be a place where there is just
sternness without a smile, just hard rules without a good time. You ought to work and make
your home an enjoyable place as possible, a place where your kids are glad to bring their
friends, and remember this: if there’s no laughter in your home your home is a failure.
#7 LET YOUR KIDS SEE GOD AT WORK IN YOUR HOME AND FAMILY.
Sure they come to Sunday School and church to learn, but that’s not enough: church may be
the classroom where spiritual truth is learned, but home is the laboratory where spiritual truth
is applied. Let those in your family see that Jesus is real to you. If you smash your finger
with a hammer and the air doesn’t turn blue with bad language, they’ll pick up on that.
Moms and dads, may I remind you your kids are watching how you treat one another.
They’re listening if you’re bad mouthing somebody at church or boasting about how you did
something shady and came out a few bucks ahead. They see how you use your time and
how you carry yourself and if your temper and tongue are consistent with what you say you
are. Your kids know if it’s in your heart to practice what you preach, and our own kids
know we’re not perfect, but if you asked them, would they would tell you God is Number
One with us.
#8 IN SHAPING AND SHARPENING THESE ARROWS ARETO COVER
THEM CONSTANTLY IN PRAYER: You can’t pray too much for your children; pray
for their protection and direction. Pray that they’ll avoid what’s wrong and will do what’s
right. Pray that satan will be bound from them and Jesus will be in full authority in their
lives, and they’ll become all He wants them to. PRAY AND PRAY AND PRAY, AND
NO MATTER HOW DARK IT IS KEEP PRAYING.
The archer must be strong, the arrows must be straight and the aim must be sure. Verses
4-5, tells us“Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the sons born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they
contend with their enemies at the gate.” Someday, if not already, you will send your arrows
out. Every dad and mom comes to that time when the arrows are released. Our intent
while we have our children at home is to make them spiritually sharp and emotionally
straight. Once they are out on their own, we keep praying for them and remain available to
them as a counselor, when they seek that or need that. But until they’re gone, we must
remain on the job. Sometimes people like to talk about juvenile delinquency, but the real
problem is parental delinquency, especially dropout dads.
Dad, you must stand for Jesus and stand against the enemy, if you want your children to
stand when you send them out against the enemy. Won’t you take whatever steps are
necessary so you can, be fully right with God, and so your children can succeed against the
enemy? Satan wants to gobble up your children alive, but Spirit-filled Christian families
ought to be satan’s worst nightmare. Give direction and projection to these arrows, and with
the winds of grace send them out into adulthood.
CLOSING PRAYER
Lord, we do want to prepare our kids to make a difference in the world,
but in order to pass the baton to them, every parent,
and especially the men we’re addressing this morning,
needs to be fully surrendered to You. Help those who need to come this
morning to receive Jesus
respond during the Gospel invitation; the living, loving Savior,
Who died for our sins is ready to receive and indwell all who would come to Him. Help
those being led to unite with this dear church to come
and help us with the work.
In Jesus’ Name, amen.
