Being God’s church in the new millennium means…
Our Love Must Be Sincere
(Lesson 6 of our New Millennium, New Church series)
What kids say about marriage
How do you decide who to marry?
- “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." alan, age 10
- “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with." kirsten, age 10
How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
- “Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." eddie, 6
- “You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."
What do most people do on a date?
- “Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8.
- “On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." martin, age 10
When is it ok to kiss someone?
- “When they’re rich." pam, age 7
- “The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that." curt, age 7
- “The rule goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do." howard, age 8
Is it better to be single or married?
- “It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." anita, 9
How would the world be different if people didn’t get married?
- "There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?" kelvin, age 8
- “You can be sure of one thing -- the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now." roberta, age 7
How would you make a marriage work?
- "Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." ricky, age 10
From the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Romans, chapter 12, verse 9:
“Love must be sincere.” (NIV) “Let love be without any pretence” (NJB)
“Let love be genuine” (NRSV) “Let love be from the center of who you are, don’t fake it” (The Message)
Where are we to reveal our sincere love?
* We practice Sincere Love for God.
* We practice Sincere Love for One Another.
* We practice Sincere Love for our Community.
Obstacles on the Pathway to Sincere Love:
- Practicing Busyness
o We’ve let a number of otherwise good works substitute for taking time to encourage and care for those close by. Check your church bulletin for a list of activities, or check your engagement calendar for a free hour, and you’ll see what I mean. Covenant groups, board meetings, church suppers, training classes, missionary conventions, baseball practice, choir rehearsal, clean-up day, ad infinitum! We can recite the creed, chant the anthem, play church, and burn out for Jesus, but never penetrate the protective armor of our friends and neighbors and apply a little balm to their wounds.
- Projecting an Image
o A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines."
- Pretending to Care
o As a member of the Marine Corps, Capt. David Rilling was once required to attend a parade in Washington, D.C. It was at the Marine Barracks. He became hopelessly lost while driving through the city and spotted an Army installation. He pulled in to ask the sentry directions. The soldier seemed friendly and gave him precise instructions.
He was impressed with the soldier’s helpfulness toward a member of another armed service - until he arrived at the National Zoo.
o Words that have no personal meaning
o Promises we have no intention of keeping
- Pressing My Own Needs
o “Enough about you, let’s talk about me…”
- Protecting My Own Heart
o To love at all is to be venerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin or your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable...The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers...of love is Hell.
o “I know how much you love me by how much you let me love you.”
- Prosecuting My Own Identity
o “…Love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.” Mark 12:33
Sincere Love is Authentic
- In its genuineness
o In other words, phony love doesn’t cut it in the church of the Lord Jesus Christ. Now, let me explain these two words for you. First is the English word, "sincere" which comes from two Latin words, "sine cere." Those of you who are taking Latin, you know the word sincere means, "no wax." Back in the time that Latin was used, potters would sometimes take wax and fill in the gaps and the holes in broken or cracked pottery. Then they would paint over the wax and sell it. The only problem is, once you bought it and put soup or hot water in that pot that had wax on it, guess what is going to happen? It is going to crack apart. So these potters started selling their pottery, and they made this claim. They would say "sine cere," no wax, this is pure pottery. So sincere was good. When it talks about our love, there should be no cracks, no wax, no phony love.
- In its allegiance
o Consider the postage stamp: Its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
- In its starting place
o “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4: 10-11
o A certain medieval monk announced he would be preaching next Sunday evening on "The Love of God." As the shadows fell and the light ceased to come in through the cathedral windows, the congregation gathered. In the darkness of the altar, the monk lighted a candle and carried it to the crucifix. First of all, he illumined the crown of thorns, next, the two wounded hands, then the marks of the spear wound. In the hush that fell, he blew out the candle and left the chancel. There was nothing else to say.
Sincere Love is Attentive
- Exercise your ears
o The story is told of Franklin Roosevelt, who often endured long receiving lines at the White House. He complained that no one really paid any attention to what was said. One day, during a reception, he decided to try an experiment. To each person who passed down the line and shook his hand, he murmured, "I murdered my grandmother this morning." The guests responded with phrases like, "Marvelous! Keep up the good work. We are proud of you. God bless you, sir." It was not till the end of the line, while greeting the ambassador from Bolivia, that his words were actually heard. Nonplussed, the ambassador leaned over and whispered, "I’m sure she had it coming."
- Exercise your time
o Attention is like a daily bouquet of love. – Captain Kangaroo
o Want to demonstrate a sincere love? Share with God, with a sister or brother, or a member of our community a gift of your most precious commodity – your time.
o There’s no substitute for giving quality and quantity of time.
- Exercise your heart
o The caring soul can’t lose. Make your priority other people’s and you’ll add a foot to your own spiritual stature. Learn to feel the throb of another’s heart and your own will beat stronger. Lose your life in the lives of the needy for Jesus’ sake and you’ll find it. Leave your self-interests and personal preoccupations behind and see what wonderful things God has in store for you.
Sincere Love is Affirming
- Be focused (not vague)
- Be frequent (no one has ever been over-affirmed)
- Be faithful (Be true to the person you’re affirming)
- Be future-minded (Paint a realistic, optimistic picture)
Sincere Love is Active
- It is a decision
o True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision.
o In order to love my children, I must remember that (1) They are children. (2) They tend to act like children. (3) Much of childish behavior is unpleasant. (4) If I do my part as a parent and love them despite their childish behavior, they will be able to mature and give up childish ways. (5) If I only love them when they please me (conditional love), and convey my love to them only during those times, they will not feel genuinely loved. This in turn will make them insecure, damage their self-image, and actually prevent them from moving on to better self-control and more mature behavior. Therefore, their behavior is my responsibility as much as theirs. (6) If I love them unconditionally, they will feel good about themselves and be comfortable with themselves. They will then be able to control their anxiety and, in turn, their behavior, as they grow into adulthood.
o In his book Encouragement—the Key to Caring, Lawrence Crabb tells how he made some changes in his life, beginning at home. “When the idea first became clear to me that every word I utter should be governed by the motivation of ministry, I struggled to build a new mental tape library. When I arrived home from work every evening, I remained in my car a few minutes and repeated to myself, ‘My goal as I walk through the front door is to minister to my family. I sure hope I’m greeted by a happy wife, delightful kids, and a working refrigerator, but no matter what I discover inside, my purpose is to minister in love to my family.’” The business of playing a tape in the mind is a current favorite of professionals who work in the field of changing behavior. The idea is that an endless loop of thoughts runs constantly in our minds. Like music, the volume is so low we hardly hear it, and like the wallpaper, we pay little attention to it, but still we think—on and on and on.
- It is a service
o “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2: 3-4
o In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis wrote, "Do not waste your time bothering whether you ’love’ your neighbor act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less."
- It is a selflessness
o “This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves.” 1 John 3:16 (The Message)
o Whoever loves much, does much. Thomas a’ Kempis
o It is said that Cyrus, the founder of the Persian Empire, once had captured a prince and his family. When they came before him, the monarch asked the prisoner, "What will you give me if I release you?" "The half of my wealth," was his reply. "And if I release your children?" "Everything I possess." "And if I release your wife?" "Your Majesty, I will give myself." Cyrus was so moved by his devotion that he freed them all. As they returned home, the prince said to his wife, "Wasn’t Cyrus a handsome man!" With a look of deep love for her husband, she said to him, "I didn’t notice. I could only keep my eyes on you- -the one who was willing to give himself for me."
From the teaching ministry of the New Heights Church of Christ
106 N. Main ~ Owasso, Oklahoma ~ 74055 ~ (918) 274-1724
email: newheightschurch@yahoo.com ~ www.newheightsfamily.org
