Love is the Way
Now, this is probably going to surprise you, but everywhere you have been in the world… there have been other people, beside you. I know, I know, this sounds far fetched. But just follow me for a moment. When you began your courtship of your spouse, there was someone else involved in that other than you… your spouse. In college, when you pledged your sorority, there were a lot of other people involved in that with you. When you walked through commencement at your high school graduation… you might have missed this, but there were others there in that room too. In your kindergarten class, in the mall, in the gym… there are people there with you.
And you know what happens when there are other people… no matter how hard you try, you end up having some sort of relationship with them. Oh, you might try and avoid it. You keep your eyes down on your grocery list when you’re racing through Reasor’s. But inevitably, someone else ends up being in the store; A stock boy, a check-out clerk, other shoppers. And eventually, you have to admit this happens, you have to engage with them in some form of interaction. And you know where interact leads… relationship. Bam. There, I said it, you’ve entered into a relationship.
Relationships are the most common element of community. They happen everywhere. So much so, we often don’t recognize when we’re involved in most of the more common, simple, light-weight relationships – acquaintances, common pursuits, simple exchange oriented relationships. This might include the relationship you enter into every time you enter into a check-out line at the supermarket; the relationship you have, regardless of how personal or impersonal it is, with your postal deliverer. We might also mention the relationship you have with the police officer who pulls you over and gives you a ticket for ignoring that stop sign. The relationship you have with the bank teller who gives you two fives for a ten. These are just the simple, oblivious relationships. These are easy. We often regard them as inconsequential.
But there are others, aren’t there; Relationships with much more on the line, a much greater impact on our day-to-day lives. We have relationships with co-workers, relationships with our employers, relationships with our teachers, with our classmates, with our neighbors.
And then they get even deeper and more intense: we have relationships with our parents, with our children, with our spouses. There’s really a lot on the line in those relationships, isn’t there.
You can’t avoid relationships, can you? Okay, maybe if your name is Tom Hanks and your stranded on some island for 2/3rd of the movie you can avoid relationships… but for the rest of us, this is pretty elementary.
Relationships are a basic and yet also a very complicated part of our lives. Even in the simplest, least-developed relationships, we want things to go well, to be positive. Even simple problems in the most inconsequential relationship can have a forceful impact on our day, our perspective and on every other relationship we’re in.
You know how this works. The substitute teacher in class mispronounces your name, so you correct her, with perhaps just a hint of sass in your voice. She of course has no room in her ears for even a hint of sass, so she barks back at you leaving you embarrassed and angry. So what happens? Of course you vent your frustration through your lunch period on three of your friends, you come home and complain to your Mom, become frustrated with your little brother a little too quickly and then take the rest of it out on your dog – who is still wondering what he did to make you so mad. One encounter in a ‘today only relationship’ affects all these other ones. Go figure.
And let’s be honest… the more you have invested in a relationship, the more important it is to you, the more vulnerable you are to risk in it, the harder that relationship is and the more effort and work it requires of you. And for that matter, the more important it is for you that you enjoy and cultivate that relationship.
Nothing brings our lives greater enjoyment, nothing brings our existence more meaning, and nothing makes our homes more special than relationships. And nothing else leaves our emotions more ragged, our minds more bewildered, our souls more frazzled than relationships.
Don’t you wish there was some special path you could follow to do relationships right?
There is.
Follow the way of love. (I Corinthians 14:1a)
This quote from the Apostle Paul’s Corinthian love says it all. Follow the way of love. This is how you do relationships right, follow the way of love.
Now, understanding love isn’t necessarily all that easy. Growing up I seemed to just get more and more confused about what love really is. First, I discovered that I loved chocolate. On Easter Sunday, we’d have these Easter baskets filled with treats. I’d unwrap that chocolate bunny and slam down that entire thing. I was enjoying love – consuming this tasty treat. Of course, afterwards, I’d have this slight discomfort in my tummy… This is what love is, A sick stomach? Well as I got a little older I started to make friends, close friends. Well, this is what love is… a buddy you’d do anything for. A friend of friends. But then a friend would make fun of my height, or the way I’d mess up in kickball or in the outfield in baseball. This is love, having someone you thought you could trust make fun of you? Well, as a young teenager I discovered what real love was. I could turn on the television every week and have someone show me exactly what love was. They even had a song about it: “Love, exciting and new, come aboard, we’re expecting you: The Love Boat.” This is love? But at least I had my parents to look up to, I could count on them to demonstrate for me exactly what love was. They had this love thing figured out. But then they’d argue and fight. They’d say things hurtful to one another. And in our case, their marriage even came to an end. This is love?
The truth is, we have mistaken so much for love. We mean so many different things by the word love. I love chocolate, I love my friend Rob, I love baseball, I love pasta, I love my children, I love my wife and I love God. But I don’t mean the same thing in any of those circumstances.
When Paul writes about love, he’s not talking the immense range of emotions and experiences that we today associate with the word love. Paul is using the word agape. This word agape is describing a special and superior idea and existence of love – a love demonstrated and perfectly embodied and expressed in God himself.
This is the love we are to have in relationships – agape love, a God love, A love without limitations, a love beyond expectations, an unconditional, an unfathomable love. This is what Paul is saying to us… have this kind of love.
Having and practicing this kind of love in your relationships will change lives. It will change your life, your family’s life and the lives of others in relationship with you. Here, in I Corinthians 13, God is telling us how we can do relationships right. We’re going to take the next 9 weeks and work our way methodically through this text. I’m going to take this time to demonstrate to you how you can find Divine Help for Doing Relationships Right, doing relationships in a way that makes life rewarding, that merits others as valuable and empowers you for contact with the eternal power and presence of God.
Why is this idea of love so important? So powerful?
First, love is indispensable. Nothing else validates, sanctions and enriches life like agape love. Love is indispensable. Need evidence? Listen to the convictions Paul communicates in the first three verses of this passage.
Without love, my words are ineffective. Paul writes:
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” (I Cor 13:1)
I can use all the pretty words, fancy words, promising words I want. But without love, my words are hollow, meaningless and powerless. While words themselves contain a great deal of power, they are nowhere near as powerful when they don’t contain and reflect love.
Also, as I read this passage I learn that without love, my intellect is incomplete. The apostle reminds us,
“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge… but have not love, I am nothing.” (I Cor 13:2)
We live in an age when there is more information and knowledge available than ever before. As a society we are extremely well educated. As a people, we can keep track of incredible amounts of information, knowledge and all kinds of trivial detail. Many of us come from a religious heritage that stresses and emphasizes rational pursuit of the truth through scriptures. We can study the scriptures till our eyes burn out. But Paul tells us all the intellectual pursuits are incomplete if we don’t have this agape love within us.
Furthermore, without love, my faith is insufficient. Listen to Paul’s words:
“If I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” (I Cor 13:2)
Before you emphasize and parade around your mountain-moving faith, walk about demonstrating your agape-modeled love. Yes, faith is important. But what is even of even greater importance that your faith in Jesus is your love for Jesus and the love of Jesus expressed from and through you. You say you believe in Jesus, even have faith that Jesus has risen from the dead? Good. But even the demons in hell believe that. Tell me, and tell everyone else you know, this: Do you love him? Does his love live in you?
Additionally, as we read through Paul’s remarks we discover without love my giving is insufficient. We all give. We give of our time and energy to our job. We give of our means to charities and to organizations. We give our offerings to the Lord. We give gifts to our children. We give time and keepsakes to those we are closest to. And you give a great deal. You can spend all you have giving gifts and mementos to everyone in your life. You give away everything you have to ministries, programs and the needy. But listen to Paul’s words:
“If I give all I possess to the poor… but have not love, I gain nothing.” I Cor 13:3
How can all that giving be of no value, no blessing to my life? If giving is a burden and not a blessing, could it be that love is what you’re really missing? We give for all kinds of reasons. The preacher guilts us into giving more of an offering. The commercial we see prompts us to give to some charity. Wishing to gain the favor of our children prompts us to buy big expensive toys, clothes or vacations. The hope of winning our spouse back after a particularly difficult argument moves us to giving flowers, and chocolate and a gift certificate to the mall. We give for all kinds of motivations: guilt, selfishness, false hope, and faulty expectations. But Giving is a blessing to me only when it is prompted by love, agape love.
And finally, without love, my best efforts are inadequate.
“If I… surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” I Cor 13:3
All the greatest efforts in the world can’t make up for a void of love. I can rise to the top of the corporate ladder, rack up tremendous awards and earnings; I can even give myself to the greatest causes in the world. But if it’s done without love, it doesn’t add up to anything.
Do you get the point? All the greatest feats in the world don’t matter as much as relationships. The community is the point. Paul doesn’t go through this much work and this much theology to hang it out there in some abstract worldview. This all relates back to how the community of Christ is to live with one another, with the world and in relationships.
God is saying I can have the eloquence of an orator, the knowledge of a genius, the faith of a miracle worker, the generosity of a philanthropist, the dedication of a martyr, but if I don’t engage in express this agape love, it doesn’t count, it doesn’t matter. Love is essential; it is indispensable.
And as we define and develop this highest and best sense of love, I want you to see that love is implemented. Love is something you put into play, something done, not just an understanding or awareness. Love is implemented.
This love is implemented in three phases. First, love is a discovery. We discover this agape love, don’t we. This is why I asked you during praise time to share the name of someone who has modeled and demonstrated the love of God to you and for you. We, by nature, turn out to be very selfish people, left to our own devices. But at some point God has found someone through whom he could reveal his open, welcoming, tender, passionate love to you. And he opened your eyes, softened your heart and revealed his agape love to you.
This agape love is at the very core of our identity and understanding of life. It is part of a life-long pursuit we are all on. Listen to these words from Proverbs:
“What a man desires is unfailing love…” Proverbs 19:22
We are all searching for this unfailing love and in Jesus Christ we find it. There is a time in everyone’s life when they come face to face with the unfailing, unending, unimaginable love of God. In youth ministry there were many occasions when I was allowed to join a student when they discovered this love in a personal awareness for the first time. There isn’t a better experience in life, outside of your own discovery of God’s love, than joining someone else in his or her own love discovery. Listen to these words of love discovery from the Psalms:
“For the king trusts in the LORD; through the unfailing love of the Most High he will not be shaken.” Psalm 21:7
“Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.” Psalm 25:6-7
“How exquisite your love, O God! How eager we are to run under your wings” Psalm 36:7 – The Message
“Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.” Psalm 63:3
“You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.” Psalm 86:5
“But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” Psalm 86:15
“For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” Psalm 100:5
“For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him” Psalm 103:11
“But Yahweh’s faithful love for those who fear him is from eternity and for ever; and his saving justice to their children’s children” Psalm 103:17 (NJB)
“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”
Psalm 118:29
First, we discover this love. Secondly, this love is a decision. Again, we’re not talking about this love in terms of an emotion you feel, or a compelling you sense. If that were the case, God couldn’t command us to experience and express this love. Quite to the contrary, love is a decision. Listen to the commands and directives Jesus gives us regarding love:
“You have heard that it was said, ’Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” Matthew 5:43-44
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Luke 10:27
“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13: 34-35 (NRSV)
Love is something we decide upon, not wait until we sense or feel. We make a decision to have and to share this agape love. And that’s the third phase, isn’t it, we share it.
Love is action. Love is something you do, something that begins externally of you, moves internally within you and then again, is expressed externally. Love is action. Again, listen to the teaching and direction of Jesus:
“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Luke 6:35
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15: 12-13
Do you hear the expectations in Jesus here? This love will prompt you and lead to action. And hear again these powerful thoughts from the first epistle of John:
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3: 16-18
Love is indispensable. Love is implemented. And finally this morning, love is incarnational. In love, we experience God in a personal and powerful way. God is made flesh in love.
Let me share with you what I mean by this.
First, when we practice love, we are recognizing God’s presence among our community and in our lives. Where love is, God’s presence is recognized in a personal and real manner. Listen to what Jesus says to his disciples in John 13:
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13: 34-35
This is how people will be able to tell that we belong to Jesus and that Jesus is among us: Love. When love is practiced, God’s presence is recognized.
Next, notice this: where love is, God’s purpose is revealed. This takes a little thinking, but go with me on this. Read this excerpt from Paul’s letter to the Romans:
“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” Romans 13: 8-10
The whole law if fulfilled in love! God’s whole plan is made plain and obvious through Jesus – love! In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells his disciples that their righteousness must exceed that of the Pharisees. Then, he jumps into these comparison-contrast statements: You have heard… but I say to you…” He’s not throwing out the old law… He’s revealing the more righteous, the more perfect way to fulfill God’s will for your life – Love! That’s what they’re all about – loving as God loves. The reason you go the extra mile of service… Is because that’s kind of love God has. The reason you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, is that’s the kind of love God has. It’s a perfect love. That’s why Jesus brings all those statements to a head in Matthew 5:48:
“Be perfect, therefore, as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Matthew 5:48
Where love is, God’s plan is revealed.
Finally, where love is, God’s power is released. Again, notice the words of Jesus from the Last Supper Discourse in the Gospel of John:
Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching.” John 14: 23-24
Do you hear God’s power released in love? If anyone loves me… he will obey. That’s power – the power to change not just someone’s idea, not just someone’s plan, but someone’s very life – the power of God is made plain – released through Agape love.
Jesus understood how people would react when they finally were able to see the love of God demonstrated in his life.
“But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself.” John 12:32
Jesus knew that people would see the cross and recognize it as an act of love. And Jesus knew, better than we do, that where that kind of love is, God’s power is released. When people encounter that kind of selfless, sacrificial, senseless love, they are changed, forever. Where love is, God’s power is released.
Where love is, God’s presence is recognized, God’s plan is revealed and God’s power is released. In simple, straight forward terms – where love is, God is.
After all, God is love.
When you practice love, you are practicing… not what God feels, but the very nature of God himself. To love someone is to apply God to his or her life in a simple, fragile human form. Showing love to your fellow believers, to your bank clerk, to the person who delivers your mail, to the kid at the ice cream store… to show love is to share God.
“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:12
“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” 1 John 4:16
When people encounter you, do they encounter God in the way you love them? If not, what is in your life that is defeating love? What is happening inside of you that is betraying this agape love? Nothing else matters; not your big fancy vocabulary, not intellectual prowess, not your religious confidence, not your financial capabilities and none of your accomplishments. None of that can serve as the embodiment of God himself as love does. Is there an absence of love in your life?
If this agape love is not a defining part of who you are, you can change that. Spend some time with Immanuel – God with us. Invite him to rewrite the pathways of your heart and mind. Let Jesus take you on a journey of discovery to see for yourself this life-changing, eternity made flesh kind of love.
Love is The Way
(Lesson 1 in our Divine Help for Doing Relationships Right series)
“Follow the way of love.” I Corinthians 14:1
Love is In___________________________
w Without love, my words are ____________________
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” I Cor 13:1
w Without love, my intellect is ____________________
“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge… but have not love, I am nothing.” I Cor 13:2
w Without love, my faith is ____________________
“If I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” I Cor 13:2
w Without love, my giving is ____________________
“If I give all I possess to the poor… but have not love, I gain nothing.” I Cor 13:3
w Without love, my efforts are ____________________
“If I… surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” I Cor 13:3
Love is Im___________________________
w Love is an ___________________ you discover.
“What a man desires is unfailing love…” Proverbs 19:22
w Love is a ___________________ you make.
“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13: 34-35 (NRSV)
w Love is an ___________________ you take.
“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Luke 6:35
Love is In___________________________
w Where love is, God’s ____________________ is recognized.
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13: 34-35
w Where love is, God’s ____________________ is released.
“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” Romans 13: 8-10
w Where love is, God’s ____________________ is revealed.
Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching.” John 14: 23-24
“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:12
“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” 1 John 4:16
