"WHAT HAPPENED TO ME LAST FRIDAY"
Last Friday was a day I’ll never forget. I had to oversee three crucifixions. In and of itself, there was nothing unusual about that. I’ve had a lot more than that on one day - I’ve spent longer days at Golgotha. But last Friday I clocked six hours there for three of them. We got up there at 9:00 in the morning, and it was business as usual: nail them down and lift them up. I don’t even blink anymore when the nails are pounded in. I’ll never forget seeing my first crucifixion as a young soldier and how hard pounding those nails was, but now, after thousands of them, I don’t even blink. It’s just a job. I hate even saying this, but you get used to it. You get calloused. I don’t even get the nightmares anymore. It should have been business as usual that day. That’s how it began. But by the time the One in the middle died, something changed inside of me last Friday!
You see, as soon as those nails were pounded in to this guy in the middle, this "Jesus of Nazareth," this crucifixion stopped being normal. At this point, I normally get cursed, spit on, and death threats. I hear things about my mother. And I hear that everyone is innocent and it is always someone else’s fault. Not last Friday! What does this guy say? He asks his Father to forgive us! Can you believe that?! We usually give the guys some wine and vinegar to dull the pain a little, but not this guy - he would have none of that! Then he said something really strange to the other thief that asked to be remembered in his kingdom! Some promise about being in paradise today! What an amazing thing for one dying man to say to another! Instead of worrying about himself, He makes sure his poor mother, who I couldn’t look in the eye, was taken care of. Toward the end, he shouts out "It is finished!" as if He was some sort of victor! And finally, right before he dies, he says with this calm peace, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit." It sounded like "mission complete; coming home." None of this was ordinary!
But it hardly compares to what I saw! Right while we were eating lunch, it became completely dark! There were no storms in the forecast. But the minute this guy bowed his head, bam! The lights were back on! There was an earthquake, and rocks were splitting open! It was mayhem up there on Golgotha. I heard later that big curtain in the temple had torn right in half! Something had happened! The sun, now returned was casting an eerie glow on this surreal scene. Well, a light was dawning in me, too. Something had clicked on.
I felt a weight lift, a strange sense of relief. Peace. Joy. Somehow I realized something good had just happened on this Friday, that this Jesus had been put on that cross for me. And you. Everybody. It certainly wasn’t for himself! I praised God for what had just happened! I can’t explain it; this wasn’t logical; it didn’t come from me! The Spirit of God has convinced me that this innocent man I put to death isn’t just a man; I know that He is the Son of God! And I couldn’t help but confessing that loud and clear for everyone there to hear that day.
Yes, this was no ordinary man. Looking back to Pilate’s courtroom earlier that morning, it makes sense now. I was standing there when he told Pilate that his kingdom was not of this world. I heard the Jews accuse him of saying he was the "Son of God." And when my soldiers mocked him for this by dressing him up, he didn’t complain. But you see, that morning wasn’t the first I had heard of Jesus of Nazareth. Pilate pays me to keep informed of what is going on among the Jews, and Jesus had been on our radar screen for some time. A week earlier, he had come into Jerusalem on a donkey, with the whole city hailing him as their divine king! Believe me, we had all the troops on duty that day. So I knew there was something special about this guy, but never dreamed it would ever affect me or my life! And now, I can’t think about anything else!
Yeah, I am dealing with some guilt over this. Sure, for driving those nails in. But something haunts me more than that. Could it have been my sins, my fault, that he was sent to the cross in the first place? Looking back now, I know that it was. Even though my soldiers and I pounded the nails in, it was my sins that nailed him there. My sins and yours, too.
But here is what was so unusual about last Friday. There are no guilty feelings left for me when I remember that He said "It is finished." Right when I probably should have felt the worst, the light came back on, and the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders in a way that I have never felt before. And I had this strange feeling of elation! Now I knew what it was that was finished! My guilt before God! Because of what this Jesus just did!
So that day I boldly confessed what I believed, what I knew was true! I confessed that this was God’s Son! I suppose that wasn’t very wise of me to do as far as my job is concerned. I made some enemies with those Jewish leaders. And they seem to have some pull with Pilate. I could have lost my job - been fired on the spot. Even jailed! But you know what? I didn’t care!
I wish I always had that strength. It’s only been a week, but I already failed Jesus by being a coward. You see, Jesus rose again! He came back to life! And I know for a fact that my soldiers were paid off for keeping that quiet. But did I go to Pilate? No. That would have cost me my job for sure, so I chickened out. How could I have done that after what I saw and heard? After I know what Jesus has done for me? Does that ever happen to you? Do you ever chicken out to stick up for this guy?
How could anyone miss the truth of who Jesus is? How could anyone not confess He is the Son of God? It’s painfully clear! But I think what bothers me more is this: how could anyone who knows He is the Son of God, like me, not boldly confess Him, love Him, follow Him, and put Him first in every aspect of their lives? I see how many people are already rejecting Him - even after a week. I pray for them. But why don’t I, who know the truth about Him, have the strength to follow Him perfectly? Why do those who believe in Him so often put Jesus way down toward the bottom of their list of priorities?
This is the first time this week I have talked to anyone about this. Is Jesus worth talking about only once a week? And then, what if we missed that one chance a week? A week turns into a month! Other priorities will take over. My life as a Centurion in the Roman army is busy. I have 100 men to keep track of. How much time did I spend this week thinking about what I saw? Our lives are so busy. Isn’t it easy to get involved with everything else but the ONE thing that we really need to be involved with? I am ashamed of my failures this past week already. Are you?
I am. I feel terrible. I know that I am a sinner before God. But that is why I am telling you about what happened to me last Friday. I heard Jesus say "It is finished." And I know what that means now. It means that this righteous man, who lived the perfect life I couldn’t, went to that cross to pay the debt I owed. And that payment is finished. My sins are now paid for! Even I, who pounded those nails in, am forgiven! But that’s not it. Because even you, who made it necessary for me to pound those in, are forgiven! Your sins are paid for too! You know what that means? You and I are going to join that thief who was next to Jesus in that paradise He was talking about someday! He is going to remember us too! So, let’s make a deal here. Let’s remember Him in our lives too. Let’s do a better job of confessing that we know who Jesus is, and what He has done for us every day in our words and actions. Let’s thank Him with our lives! Amen.
