Marriage Counseling
Text: Matthew 19:5-6
Introduction: Important Questions to be Considered Before Marriage:
1. Are you both Saved? When God is in the heart and the home, marriage will succeed.
Scripture references:
Philippians 4:13
Psalm 127:1
Non-Christian Marriages - We see that statistics concerning non-christian marriages, there is almost a 50% chance of divorce because God is not really in those marriages.
Christian Marriages - In Christian marriages, the rate of failure is only 1 out of 1000 divorce.
2. Have either of you been Married before? The Bible only gives 3 reasons for divorce and remarriage.
a. adultery - Matthew 19:8-9.
b. death - Romans 7:1-3
c. When the unbelieving mate leaves a christian
mate - 1 Corinthians 7:13-15.
d. There is a situation where a christian has been married and divorced before salvation. We believe that the blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin and that this new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) may have the right to remarry.
There will be problems if you have been married before and you are now planning to remarry even though you have scriptural grounds.* Note 1 Corinthians 7:27,28.
*Children from a former a marriage will create a problem of discipline with the other mate.
3. How long have you been engaged or known each other?
4. Do you believe that God has brought you together?
See Psalms 127:1; Matthew 19:6
5. How do your parents feel about this marriage?
6. Is there any reason why you have to get married? (other than a free-will choice to be married)
7. What type of wedding are you planning?
8. What do you want out of marriage?
9. Do you really want it to last? God does. Note Matthew 19:6
A. The Purpose of Marriage
What is Marriage: A Companionship and Partnership entered into by agreement to share life permanently as God intended it. Malachi 2:14
1. Companionship - Genesis 2:18-20.
2. Be Fruitful & to Have Children - Genesis 1:28
3. Sexual Satisfaction and Intimacy - Genesis 2:24; Song of Solomon - Chapters 4,6,&7.
4. 3 Elements of Marriage - Ezekiel 16:8-10.
B. The Principles of a lasting marriage
1. God established marriage and the home - Genesis 2:18-24; Psalm 127:1 for His glory Colossians 1:16; Galatians 6:7
2. Only God can preserve it and give it real meaning!
Proverbs 14:11
Below are listed six things that will allow God to preserve this marriage.
a. Reading the bible daily - Matthew 4:4
b. Pray daily - 1 Thessalonians 5:17
c. Witnessing - Acts 1:8
d. Assembling ourselves together at church - Hebrews 10:23-25
e. Fellowshipping and Socializing with Christians only
2 Corinthians 6:14-16.
f. Giving as God leads us - 2 Corinthians 9:6-11
C. God’s Way is the Best Way - Genesis 3:16
1. With the Woman: Ephesians 5:22-24,33; 1 Timothy 5:14;
Titus 2:4,5; 1 Peter 3:1-6; 1 Corinthians 11:3-12; Proverbs 31:10-31.
2. With the Man: Colossians 3:19; Ephesians 5:25-31;
1 Peter 3:7 1 Timothy 2:9-15; Proverbs chapters 1-8; 1 Timothy 5:8; Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:6.
3. With the Children: Ephesians 6:1-3; Proverbs19:18, 22:15, 23:13,14 Proverbs 29:15,17, 13:24; Psalms 127:3.
4. Family Priorities:
a. God First - Matthew 22:37; Colossians 1:18
b. Husband and Wife to live for each other
c. Children are the 3rd priority and not to be above the 1st two as they are not permanent in the marriage experience. Genesis 2:24
Matthew 19:5
d. In Sexual Relationships - 1 Corinthians 7:1-7;
Hebrews 13:4; Genesis 24:67; Song of Solomon Chapters 4,6,7.
Purpose of Sexual Relationship:
1. expression of love
2. conceive children
3. fulfill desire
4. relieve tension
D. Practical Considerations
1. Common Interests: You must like what your partner likes to be pleasing to them. 1 Corinthians 7:33.
2. Income: Do you have substantial income to begin living together? The world says two can live as cheaply as one but reason says only half as long.
3. Have a budget and stick to it. Romans 13:8
4. Be careful of extravagance or stinginess - 1 Peter 3:7; 1 Corinthians 7:33; "Let your moderation be known unto all men"
5. Tempers - Ephesians 4:26; Matthew 5:22; Ephesians 4:32
6. Are you deeply in love? Titus 2:4; 1 Peter 4:8 secret of success Learn to say: "I love you", "I am to blame", "I am sorry"
Try not to bring up past mistakes of your mate.
7. Pride Proverbs 13:10. All of your arguments will stem from sin.
8. How to change bad habits to make a better marriage -
Ephesians 4:22-29.
