How many of you have watched the television show, “Cheers”? For eleven seasons, from 1982 to 1993, Cheers was one of the highest-rated shows on television, and since 1993 its spinoff, Frasier, has also consistently been at the top of the ratings. What accounts for this popularity? Inspired writing, well-drawn characters, talented actors, all played a part. But I think there’s something more. I think that shows like Cheers, or Friends, or even ER or West Wing, tap into a deep human longing for community. They all show us people who care about each other, who accept one another in spite of their many failings and frailties and idiosyncrasies, people who share an emotional bond, who are committed to one another. Just listen to the theme songs:
Cheers
Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you’ve got;
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot.
Wouldn’t you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.
Friends
I’ll be there for you (when the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you (like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you (’cause you’re there for me too)
Isn’t that what we all want? People who care about us? People who are glad when we show up? People who will support us and stand by us in the bad times, People who will accept us instead of criticizing and judging us? People we can just be ourselves around? I want that. I need that. And so do you. So do we all.
Well, I’ve got good news for you. Good news and bad news. The bad news is that Cheers, and Friends, and all the other TV versions of community, are pretend. They exist only on a Hollywod sound stage. People love those shows, they tune in very week by the millions, because they desperately want to be a part of that kind of community. They see something in those characters’ relationships with one another that they want. But it’s not real. The good news is that it can be real. The good news is that there is a place where that kind of community can and does exist. And that place is the church.
Or at least it should be. Let me put it another way. That’s the kind of place that the church should be, the kind of place the church can be, the kind of place that Jesus Christ intended His church to be. You and I know that too often, it’s just the opposite. We have to recognize that when many people think of an accepting, loving, supportive, place to be real, to just be themselves, they are more likely to think of an AA meeting than a church.
For the next five weeks, we’re going to be looking at what we can do to create and maintain community. How we can continue to become increasingly the kind of people who are unified in their love for one another and in their love for Christ. People who show their love for one another by the way they relate to one another – not just on Sunday morning, but every day of the week.
To be honest, one of the reasons I’m in church planting is that I want to be a member of a church like that. And I’m excited because I see this church becoming that kind of place; where discouraged, heartbroken people find strength and healing, where confused people find help and guidance, where people weighed down with sin find forgiveness and relief. I see WestShore becoming the kind of place where lives are radically changed by the love of God flowing through His people in their relationships with one another.
And as we become, more and more, that kind of a church; the world will notice. When they walk through that door, they will sense that something is different here; when they go home, they’ll say, “I want that”. They will want what we have, and eventually we will be able to tell them that what we have isn’t a “what” at all. It’s not a philosophy, it’s not a religious dogma, it’s not a program of self-improvement; it’s not a “what,” it’s a “who”, Jesus Christ, living in us and through us.
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." – John 13:34-35
“May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” – John 17:23
The most powerful argument for the truth of the gospel is not the sophistication of our theological statements; it’s not the historical evidence for the fact of the resurrection. The most powerful argument for the truth of the gospel is not our good works, or even our changed lives. The most powerful argument for the truth of the gospel is our love for one another. That is what Jesus said would distinguish us, among all the people on the earth, as His disciples.
It undergirds everything else we say, and without it, nothing else we say matters. The purpose of the church is not to produce impressive buildings, or well-reasoned theological statements, or inspiring music, or well-run mission organizations. The purpose of the church is to produce people who love God and who love one another. If we are that kind of a church, the angels will rejoice and the world will beat a path to our door. If not, then nothing else really matters.
Have I convinced you of the importance of this topic? Good. Now let’s turn our attention to how we achieve this kind of community. The word for this week is “forbearance.” Forbearance. “Bearing” with one another; putting up with one another. Turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to one another’s faults and frailties. Overlooking wrongs. Being patient and slow to criticize.
Let’s look at what the Scriptures have to say to us concerning forbearance:
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. – Ephesians 4:2-3
Therefore . . . clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. – Colossians 3:12-14
Don’t grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged.
– James 5:9
What does this tell us? It tells us that we will, in all likelihood, have things which we need to forbear! All of us will, at some time, find our fellow creatures to be less than ideal. And the possible grounds for such dissatisfaction with one another are endless. The way we talk, the way we think, the way we look, the way we eat, the way we raise our kids, the way we take care of our house, the way we handle our finances, the way we manage our time. You could probably pick out anybody in this room and find something about them that you find offensive, irritating, or disagreeable.
So what do we do? Do we just pretend that they aren’t that way? Do we pretend that it doesn’t bother us? No, Christianity is not a religion of pretending. What do we do then? We simply choose to overlook it. We choose not to make a big deal of it. We choose to graciously tolerate one another in spite of all the things we find less than ideal. And if that causes us tension, then we live with it. We accept that tension, that discomfort, as our problem, rather than theirs
First, we choose not to grumble against them or gossip to our friends about their flaws. You’ve done that, haven’t you? We all have. It’s a bad habit that we all share. You may not tell the person what you don’t like, but you tell your wife, your husband, your best friends, and then everyone else you talk to. Well, that’s wrong. It’s divisive, unkind, and ungodly. It’s hurtful. It stirs up contention and dissatisfaction where there was none before. It turns others against them. It may make us feel better temporarily, but it doesn’t build anybody up; it only tears them down. Brothers and sisters, we need to repent of slandering one another in this way.
Second, we choose not to keep picking at them to change the things we don’t like. We choose not to embark on a one-man crusade to improve them. We do not take it upon ourselves to better our fellow man by continually pointing out the many ways in which he falls short of perfection. Instead, by the power of the Holy Spirit, we choose to treat them with compassion, kindness, patience, gentleness, and love.
Now, if someone comes to you asking for help or advice, it’s different. But even then, it’s not an excuse to “unload” on them (“I’ve been waiting for you to ask!”). Even then, we need to be kind and gentle.
Third, we choose not to judge them. We choose not to arrogantly set ourselves up in our minds as their judges, as if it were our right to evaluate the quality of their lives. That puts us in the place of God, and God doesn’t like anybody usurping His role as Judge of the world.
Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. . . . There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you--who are you to judge your neighbor? – James 4:11-12
Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. . . . You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. . . . So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. – Romans 14:4, 10-13
Wouldn’t it be ridiculous if you were to go into someone else’s workplace and start walking around criticizing people and giving them directions. What would happen? You’d get thrown out, that’s what. Why? Because they don’t work for you. They aren’t accountable to you. They are responsible to their employer, not me. In the same way, we are each accountable to God for how we live our lives.
I’m not talking about offices or roles in the church. In the case where you have willingly taken on a responsibility in the church, then you are accountable to carry it out. In cases where you have specific oversight responsibility for some aspect of the church’s ministry, then yes, the people in that area of ministry are accountable to you for how they carry out that responsibility. For instance, I’m accountable to the steering committee for the faithful exercise of my role as pastor.
I’m also not talking about specific roles where you may have authority over someone else who is accountable to you: family relationships, parents and children, employers and employees. I’m talking about the vast majority of cases where there is no special authority/resposiblity relationship. In those cases (in other words, between most of the people in this room), we need to remember that other Christians do not answer to us and are not accountable to us. They answer to God.
Only God has the right, and only God has the ability, to judge. You can’t see the heart.
Fourth, we give thanks. Instead of focusing on all the things we don’t like, we thank God for them. We thank God for the gifts and abilitis He’s given them for ministry. We thank God that He chose them in spite of their flaws, and that (more amazingly) He chose us in spite of our flaws. We thank God that He is in the process of changing them, and us, into creatures who someday will reflect Jesus Christ in all His glory, without flaw or defect of any kind. We thank God that He doesn’t destroy us on the spot for our arrogance and pride in daring to judge another sinner, as if we deserved anthing other than wrath and condemnation ourselves. And we give thanks that, contrary to everything we deserve, and on account of nothing good or worthy in ourselves, God loved them, and us, and called us to Himself, and made us together His sons and daughters in Christ, to live forever with Him.
And when we give thanks like that, we’ll find that all the things we were so upset and exercised about, all the things that we found so irritating and objectionable, all those things will fade to insignificance. And we will be left standing before God, awestruck and amazed that He would love such poor, miserable, sinful creatures as we.
(For an .rtf file of this and other sermons, see www.journeychurchonline.org/messages.htm)
