As your pastor, I try to be as open and transparent as possible. I want you to know me well enough to see that the faith I talk about every week is real. And one of the ways you get to know someone is by asking what they like. Favorite food, favorite hobby. Favorite movie. So, in case any of you are planning to invite me to go see a movie in the near future, let me tell you what kind of films I enjoy. Science fiction. Action-adventure movies, if they’re not too violent. Comedies -- and not just sophisticated humor; I like the lowbrow, corny, slapstick stuff too. I’m not ashamed to admit that I thought "Meet the Parents" was very funny, especially the part where the cat got fried. I like old World War II films, like "Bridge On the River Kwai". I like quirky, offbeat independent films, and also foreign films, which I usually have to
see by myself, because my wife doesn’t "do" subtitles. And I like Jackie Chan movies. All of them. That little guy is amazing. So there you go. My psyche on a silver platter.
I don’t like horror movies or thrillers, I don’t like blood and guts, I don’t like tearjerkers, and I don’t like dramas where the plot revolves around one of the main characters dying, or suffering, or being abused. That’s not my idea of entertainment. If I want human tragedy, I don’t have to pay $7.50 to see it; I can just turn on the CBS evening news or C-Span.
But, unlike the world of the cinema, which is only entertainment, or at best art, in the real world we can’t avoid everything sad, or unpleasant. We can’t just change the channel or walk out of the theater when we come to the difficult parts. We can’t avoid them. We have to deal with them.
That’s the bad news. The good news is that God’s grace, and power, and love are more than sufficient to give us what we need to survive anything life throws at us. There is no pain so intense, no sorrow so overwhelming, no loss so devastating, that God cannot bring us through it. Listen to what Paul the apostle heard when his physical suffering became so intense that he cried out to God to remove it:
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." -- 2 Cor. 12:8-9 (NIV)
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." -- 2 Cor. 4:8-9 (NIV)
What does all this tell us? That God’s people are not immune from the bumps and bruises of life. I know. I live in the same world you do. Sometimes our lives feel like a World Wrestling Federation Smackdown, with one of those three-hundred-pound steroid-enhanced gorillas body-slamming us onto the mat and jumping up and down on our chest. We get knocked around just like anyone else. We feel pain. We experience sorrow and loss. We weep and mourn. But there is a difference between us and those who don’t know God. God promises us that he will bring us safely through every storm. He guarantees that nothing will ever happen in our lives that he can’t handle; that we can’t handle by his grace and by His power. And that assurance gives us hope when it looks like the bottom is falling out. It keeps us steady and confident when our world is shaking. It give us the kind of peace that can’t be faked, the kind of peace that can’t be explained as anything other than the supernatural work of God.
This morning, we’re going to look at the topic of ’Surviving Loss’. I’ll admit right up front that the topic is almost impossibly broad. Because there are so many different kinds of loss. There are losses in relationships -- people we love who die, marriage partners who abandon us, children who reject us, close friends who move away. There are personal losses, like injuries or poor health. Economic or financial losses; losing a job or career. Some losses are sudden; they come into our life as an unwelcome surprise. Other losses occur over time, such as a family watching their husband and father slowly slip away, as Alzheimer’s disease strips him of his memories and his understanding.
Given all that, is there anything I could possibly say in twenty-five minutes that would address all of these situations in a meaningful way? Yes. Because as varied as the kinds of loss are, there are some common Biblical principles which will help us to respond in a healthy and God-honoring way. First, we grieve. This may seem obvious, but many people seem to think that it’s somehow weak, or shameful, or even less than Christian, to grieve over a loss. As if expressing pain and sorrow would offend or surprise God. As if feeling sad, or weeping, or being depressed would be evidence of a lack of faith, or would make people think that their faith wasn’t "working". So instead, they suppress their emotions. They try to look like everything’s just fine. "No worries, mate". They put up a calm, cool, serene front, while inside, deep down,
they’re just being torn up with anger and grief. That’s not healthy. And it’s not necessary. Look at the example of Jesus Christ:
"When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. ’Where have you laid him?’ he asked. ’Come and see, Lord,’ they replied. Jesus wept." -- John 11:33-35 (NIV)
One of Jesus’ close friends named Lazarus had died, and it made Jesus very sad; it says he was "deeply moved in spirit and troubled". He wasn’t trying to keep a stiff upper lip. He wasn’t concerned that someone would think his grief showed a lack of faith. He simply expressed what was in his heart. He wept. Right in front of God and everybody. Do you think it’s unmasculine to let your emotions show? Sometimes it would be inhuman not to. Two more verses:
"[There is] a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance" -- Ecclesiastes 3:4 (NIV)
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." -- Romans 12:15 (NIV)
How do we usually respond when someone we care about is grieving over a loss? We try to get them to "snap out of it." We try to cheer them up. We tell them it’s not so bad. We quote Bible verses. But there’s a time when the right thing to do isn’t to cheer up; it’s to weep and mourn. There’s a time when the most helpful thing we can do for someone is not try and cheer them up, but to mourn along with them. When someone is grieving, it means they’re facing the reality of their loss. They’re experiencing the pain of that loss. They’re not denying it. They’re not pretending it doesn’t matter, or that it doesn’t hurt. And that process of coming face-to-face with their loss is a healthy and a necessary thing. We shouldn’t prod them to short-circuit the process and get on with their lives too quickly. We need to allow ourselves and
others to grieve, so that at the appropriate time, we can move on.
But grief is not the final word. It’s not the end. Because even in the midst of our sorrow, even when our grief is the deepest, God is there with us. He hasn’t abandoned us to deal with our grief alone, as best we can. He is there. And He will comfort us, better than any friend, or relative, or pastor, or counselor could possibly do. His Spirit will comfort us with a deep, powerful, abiding peace that restores our strength and lifts us up out of our despondency and despair. Listen to this:
"[The Lord] has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted . . . to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve . . . to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." -- Isaiah 61:1-3 (NIV)
In the gospel of Luke, chapter 4, we read that Jesus Christ identifies his ministry as the fulfillment of this Old Testament prophecy. He is the one through whom we receive healing, and comfort, and joy and gladness. This is the reason He came. Listen to what Paul tells us:
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." -- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)
How much of our sorrow is God able to deal with? "All". In which of our troubles can he comfort us? "All" of them. Every single one. In every kind of trouble and any number of troubles, God’s power is sufficient. Whatever painful losses you may have experienced, whatever losses you fear or can imagine, there is nothing that is too difficult for God. His power to strengthen, and sustain, and comfort you is greater than the power of your circumstances to drag you down.
I know that’s difficult to believe sometimes. Our trust in God falters. We question whether His power really is sufficient. After all, if He really is so powerful, why didn’t He prevent the loss in the first place? And so we doubt God. We look to other sources of comfort; other ways to quiet the pain of our loss -- alcohol, drugs, pills, television, food, sex, pornography, the internet -- anything that we think will dull the pain. But nothing, ultimately, can give us the lasting comfort and peace we crave. Only God is able to comfort us in the midst of any and every circumstance. Won’t you look to Him this morning?
There’s another point I’d like to make. We tend to see loss as a dead end. We had something, we lost it, and now it’s gone. There’s nothing left but a big hole in our life. But God doesn’t see it that way. The story doesn’t end with the loss. Because when God takes something out of our life, He always puts something in. Now, I want to be clear about this. I’m not saying that God will replace what you lost, as some kind of one-for-one exchange. Because what could God possibly give us that would be an adequate "replacement" someone we loved; what could He give us in "exchange" for a husband or wife, a parent, or a child? Nothing, of course. And that’s not what I’m saying. This isn’t a replacement. This is simply an expression God’s love for us; it’s an expression of who He is. And God is fundamentally a giver. So He never just takes; when He takes, He always also gives. We’ll never suffer a loss without also experiencing a gift. And whatever God may give, His purpose is to meet all of our needs and to bless us with more and more of Himself. His purpose is to build our faith and draw us closer to Himself. When God takes something away, He doesn’t just leave a hole, a big empty space. He fills it up with good things; and He fills it with His grace and His presence.
The best example of this is in John chapter 16, where Jesus is preparing his disciples for his imminent departure: his crucifixion, death, resurrection, and ascension into heaven.
"But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you." -- John 16:7 (NIV)
In a few hours, Jesus Christ, their Lord and Master, will be nailed to a cross and killed. After his resurrection, he will ascend into heaven, and he will no longer be among them. So after three years of Jesus’ constant companionship, his friendship, his love, he was now going to be taken from them. They would no longer see his face or hear his voice. Their teacher and leader would be gone. But incredibly, Jesus tells them, it is for the best. Not just for the best, but for their best. Why? Because He would send them the "Counselor"; he would send the Holy Spirit to continue His work in and through them. Jesus removed his limited, physical presence, but He gave them his unlimited, spiritual presence. He didn’t just take something away. He also gave, and He gave them more of Himself.
What’s the application? That when God allows a loss in our lives, He has a reason. That loss is not a random piece of bad luck. God has a purpose for everything, including our losses. He won’t just leave an empty hole in our lives; he will give us something good. And along with it, He will give Himself.
[Conclusion] You may be dealing with a difficult loss right now. Perhaps it’s something recent; or perhaps it’s a loss you suffered years ago but have never really gotten over. Jesus Christ wants to comfort you this morning. He wants to give you His strength, and peace. He wants to fill the void that loss caused; he wants to fill it with Himself; He wants to give you more and more of his presence. Will you accept His comfort? Will you receive His presence? Will you ask Him this morning to come into your heart and into your life, to comfort and strengthen you?
(For an .rtf file of this and other sermons, see www.journeychurchonline.org/messages.htm)
