MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER
CENTRAL CHRISTIAN, BROWNSVILLE, TX
Our text this morning is Genesis 1:27-28. Please listen as I read it to you.
"So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male & female He created them. God blessed them & said to them, `Be fruitful & increase in number; fill the earth & subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea & the birds of the air & over every living creature that moves on the ground."
Over the years I’ve enjoyed preaching about family relationships, about husbands & wives, parents & children, grandchildren & so on. But I must confess that in recent years this has become less enjoyable because, as most of you realize, I’m very traditional in my views of family & morality.
I’m not in tune with much of what is happening today. As a result, sometimes I feel like a voice "crying in the wilderness." So if you’ll just indulge me for a while, let’s talk about some traditional family values.
ILL. The Bible focuses on families. In fact, the oldest book in the Bible is thought to be the Book of Job. In it is Mr. & Mrs. Job, & their 14 children. That’s quite a family, any way you look at it.
They go through trials & tribulations & financial reversals. They experience death, & go through the grieving process, & marital difficulties. All this is found in the Book of Job.
ILL. An earlier family would be the family of Adam & Eve. God brings them together as husband & wife, & commissions them to be fruitful & multiply. So along come Cain & Abel & their other children.
There is the family of Noah & the family of Abraham & the families of Isaac & Jacob.
Finally we come to the N.T., & an important part of the story of Jesus is His family. He is born of a virgin, & yet, God appoints a man by the name of Joseph to take care of those early years of His life. So family relationships are important in the Bible story.
But the image of the family has changed drastically in recent years, & we no longer seem to be sure what makes up a traditional family unit.
I. THE TRADITIONAL FAMILY
A. One of the things I found as I was researching the traditional family is that some things we have thought were part of the traditional family picture have not always been a part of it.
1. For instance, in our culture we’ve always thought that marriage comes about because of the love of two people for each other. They meet, fall in love, & get married.
But throughout most of history, & in most cultures, marriages have been arranged by parents. In has only been in recent times, & mainly in our country, that "romantic marriages" have come into existence.
Even today in India & Africa, & in many parts of So. America, marriages are still being arranged, & the love relationship develops after the marriage.
2. A second misconception is that we have always thought that in the traditional family the mother stayed home & took care of the children, & that the working mother outside of the home is a recent innovation.
But that, too, is not true. Throughout most of history, the mother worked outside the home. Read about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, & you’ll find that she was a very industrious woman who embarked on lots of economic endeavors to provide for her family.
History tells us that for the most part, the mother worked in the field & orchard side by side with her husband. But here is the difference, she took along her nursing children. They were always with her. Then as the child grew older, it started working in the field & orchard as well. The family grew up working & spending time together.
3. The open rebelliousness of children is also a recent innovation. Many have assumed that there has always been a generation gap, & children just naturally rebel against the authority of their parents.
But it’s just not true. While in all generations there have been conflicts, the serious nature of juvenile delinquency is fairly recent, because when a child goes to the field from time of birth on, & works beside mom & dad, at the end of the day there is very little time or energy left to get into trouble. Maybe there’s a message there for us today as well.
B. So what is the traditional family, really? There are lots of voices crying to be recognized as a traditional family in our country.
Homosexuals & lesbians are saying, "We want to be recognized as families, & we demand the right to adopt children." And the unmarried, living together out of wedlock, say, "We want to be recognized as a family, too."
II. TRENDS THAT ARE TAKING PLACE TODAY
A. James Dobson’s book, "Children At Risk," points out some alarming trends that have taken place in the last 30 ore more years.
1. He wrote, "In 1960 the family was in vogue. You saw lots of pictures of families together. The TV programs we watched were all geared toward the family, `Ozzie & Harriet,’ `Father Knows Best,’ & so on. The family was considered something of great value. And the laws that came out of the nation’s capitol & our state governments were made with the family in mind."
But today, the traditional family is out. More than 25% of all homes consist of single parents struggling under a double burden. And in a large majority of families, both parents work & leave their children in child care.
2. "In 1960," he wrote, "religion was considered good, especially for the family. You saw billboards promoting going to the church of your choice. Oftentimes there would be a whole page in the weekly paper that would portray a family going to church together, mom & dad holding the hands of their children as they walked up the steps of the church building.
And many times the caption underneath said, "The family that prays together, stays together."
But now, religion is out. Today we do not place much emphasis on that at all. Today, God is pretty much left out of our society, our schools, & our public institutions. Today, religion is out.
3. "In 1960," James Dobson said, "if you became pregnant out of wedlock, the couple would become husband & wife. They would try to make a good life & establish a good home for their child. But today, more than 1 out of every 5 children is born out of wedlock, & there are over 1 million abortions every year."
4. In 1960 homosexuality was still in the closet, & homosexuals were treated as people with emotional or mental disorders. They would never have been elected to political office. But today things have drastically changed.
And whether we approve of these changes or not, we must recognize that these trends have changed the way society looks at family & the way we live.
B. And notice some of the results. First of all, there is a tremendous breakup in the family. The result has been many lonely adults. One of the most rapidly growing parts of our society today is that of single people who are not sharing their lives with anyone else.
It is interesting to me, & important to note that the Bible teaches that everyone should have a family. When Isaac got married at age 40, he had lived at home up until the time he was married.
When a husband died there are clear instructions in the Bible that his wife should be taken in either by her husband’s brother or she should go back home to her mother & father.
When God put Adam in the Garden of Eden, He said, "It is not good for man to be alone." We are built with a desire to be with other people, & to be a part of a family. So family is extremely important even though it is being grossly neglected by many people today.
In recent years a new phenomenon has surfaced - marriage without children. Many have decided that it is best not to have children.
C. Now after having said all that, let me say this. The family is still in. While 44% of all families experience divorces, 56% are staying married & believe that marriage ought to be a life-time relationship. 94% of all the people who are divorced will remarry, because they believe that marriage is something that they need in their lives.
More than 80% of all the young people going through high school & college will decide to get married. The family is still in.
III. THE PURPOSES OF THE FAMILY
Now, I want to wrap all this up by talking about what I think are the purposes of the family. I believe that I can justify these by scripture.
A. #1, I think that the purpose of the family is procreation. I believe God created us so that we can reproduce ourselves & bring children into the world.
We cannot create, only God can create. The closest we can come to being creative like God is to procreate, to bring children into the world.
ILL. My wife & I have 3 children. They are the cause of some of the gray hair that I have on my head today. In years past they robbed me of my privacy, & drained my checking account. I’m sure I’m 10 years older now than I would have been had I no children at all.
But despite all that, the most precious relationships I enjoy on this earth are my relationships with my wife & my children & their spouses & their children.
A self-centered society has no time for children. And one of the basic functions of family is to bring children into the world.
B. A second function of the family is to nurture those children. They are a part of mom & a part of dad, & they’re loved by both. It is in the home, then, that they receive their identity.
They develop a sense of self-worth in the home, & soon they can face the world with a security that has been given them in their home so they can withstand the pressures of the world. Lots of times they’ll be rejected. But if the foundation given them at home is strong enough, they’ll be able to weather the rejections.
That’s what the home is for, to provide nurture & strength, to teach the child that he or she is loved, & no matter what they become, that love will always be there. That is security.
C. Finally, I think home is a place where children must be taught to respect authority. The Bible clearly teaches that children are to honor their fathers & their mothers. They’re to obey their parents in the Lord because that is right.
ILL. Suzanna Wesley said, "If a child doesn’t learn to obey his or her parents at home, they will never learn to respect authority of man or God in society." She’s absolutely right. It’s at home that we teach them, "This is right, & that is wrong."
They receive praise when they do something right. They’re disciplined when they do something wrong. The discipline & praise is consistent, so that when the child leaves home & goes out into the adult world they know what is right & what is wrong. They know that there are absolutes in life.
D. Gary Smalley says that most of our homes are not secure places anymore. He says we spend a lot of time speaking harshly to one another. We belittle other family members, & often take them for granted. Oftentimes we make jokes at their expense & embarrassment.
Oftentimes there is little trust in the home, he says. Often we are rude, & embarrass them in front of others. Often we ignore their genuine needs & do not consider them important.
He said, "How much better it would be if we could be soft & tender with members of our family; if we could understand what is going on in their lives; if we could acknowledge that they’re hurting & admit that we may have been a source of their hurt; if we could touch each other gently; if we could seek forgiveness & wait for a response."
SUM. Smalley says, "Security is not something you take off & then put on & then take off again. It is always there. That’s what makes it security."
ILL. Dr. John Trent tells the story of a couple in West Texas. The wife, Betty, was very athletic, & had been a cheerleader & very popular in high school. Now she is 55 & has come to Dr. Trent for medical help. She hurts a lot & her joints are beginning to swell.
After examining her, he tells her that she has rheumatoid arthritis & there is no cure. She sits crying for a moment as she considers her future. Then her tall, leathery-faced West Texas cowboy husband walked into the room & sat down beside her.
Betty said, "Rusty, you need to get a divorce. I can’t be a wife to you anymore. It hurts every time I move, & I can’t even hold your hand. For your own sake you need a woman who can really love you. Why don’t you get a divorce, & go your way & I’ll go mine?"
Dr. Trent said, "Rusty sat down on that stool beside her. He looked her in the eye & said, `Betty, can you smile?’ `It doesn’t hurt to smile.’ He said, `That’s all I need, just a smile. Well,’ he said, `Really, I don’t even need a smile. All I need is you.’"
SUM. Now that is security. That’s a family that functions together through the ups & the downs, the good & the bad; a family that is always there, informing the other members that they’re loved & accepted, & no matter what happens, that love will always be unshakable.
CONCL. Kenny Rogers sang, "I never was afraid. I love the life we made. I’m so glad I stayed with you through the years." That’s security! Families need desperately to provide security for all who live in the home - security that permeates society & changes the world.
The church & the family are our two hopes for the future. They ought to be allies. The church ought to be helping the family, & the family ought to be supporting the church. We’re the only hope for our rapidly changing world. So let us rededicate ourselves to restoring once again those traditional morals & values that have been so long a part of our culture.
This morning, if you’re here & you don’t have a family, we want you to know that this church desires to become your family. Here, we’re brothers & sisters. God is our father, & Jesus is our elder brother. And you can be an important part of a very loving & caring & tender family.
If you have a decision that you need to make this morning, we hope that you will make it. Come, as we stand & as we sing together.
