Someone with Skin
TEXT: Phil 2:1-4
INTRODUCTION
· In a parable she has written, Karen Mains describes the following wedding:
DOWN IN FRONT STANDS THE GROOM IN A SPOTLESS TUXEDO - HANDSOME, SMILING, FULL OF ANTICIPATION, SHOES SHINED, EVERY HAIR IN PLACE, ANXIOUSLY AWAITING THE PRESENCE OF HIS BRIDE. ALL ATTENDANTS ARE IN PLACE, LOOKING JOYFUL AND ATTRACTIVE. THE MAGICAL MOMENT FINALLY ARRIVES AS THE PIPE ORGAN REACHES FULL CRESCENDO & THE STATELY WEDDING MARCH BEGINS.
EVERYONE RISES & LOOKS TOWARD THE DOOR FOR THEIR FIRST GLIMPSE OF THE BRIDE. SUDDENLY THERE IS A HORRIFIED GASP. THE WEDDING PARTY IS SHOCKED. THE GROOM STARES IN EMBARRASSED DISBELIEF. INSTEAD OF A LOVELY WOMAN DRESSED IN ELEGANT WHITE, SMILING BEHIND A LACE VEIL, THE BRIDE IS LIMPING DOWN THE AISLE. HER DRESS IS SOILED & TORN. HER LEG SEEMS TWISTED. UGLY CUTS & BRUISES COVER HER BARE ARMS. HER NOSE IS BLEEDING, ONE EYE IS PURPLE & SWOLLEN, & HER HAIR IS DISHEVELED.
"DOES NOT THIS HANDSOME GROOM DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS?" ASKS THE AUTHOR. AND THEN THE CLINCHER: "ALAS, HIS BRIDE, THE CHURCH, HAS BEEN FIGHTING AGAIN."
· Unfortunately, that parable is sometimes all too true in the Body of Christ, in families, & other relationships
· Paul gives guidance for getting along with others
· Look only at Phil 2:1
I. BE PEOPLE OF ENCOURAGEMENT AND COMFORT
A. Combined because related in the Greek
1. Encouragement that comes from nearness or walking along
side someone
2. Comfort that comes from nearness or walking along side someone
3. If you’ve received this from Christ, pass it on to other
(IL) Little boy who is afraid of the dark when he goes to bed at night. Dad went up to the room and talked to him. He told the little boy that there was no need to be afraid because God was with him. The little boy said, "I know that daddy, but I want someone with skin."
a. Paul wants us to be someone with skin to others
B. We all need "someone with skin" to encourage, comfort, walk along side us from
time to time as we go thru difficulties
1. Affair of a spouse, financial setback, divorce, unexpected pregnancy,
alcoholism, abuse, homosexuality enters the family, illness or death of
loved one
2. Where can we find someone with skin?
a. The fellowship of church, family, or elsewhere?
(IL) BRUCE LARSON & KEITH MILLER IN THE EDGE OF ADVENTURE: THE NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IS POSSIBLY THE BEST COUNTERFEIT THERE IS TO THE FELLOWSHIP CHRIST WANTS TO GIVE HIS CHURCH. IT’S AN IMITATION, DISPENSING LIQUOR INSTEAD OF GRACE, ESCAPE RATHER THAN REALITY, BUT IT IS A PERMISSIVE, ACCEPTING, & INCLUSIVE FELLOWSHIP. IT IS UNSHOCKABLE. IT IS DEMOCRATIC. YOU CAN TELL PEOPLE SECRETS & THEY USUALLY DON’T TELL OTHERS OR EVEN WANT TO. THE BAR FLOURISHES NOT BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE ALCOHOLICS, BUT BECAUSE GOD HAS PUT INTO THE HUMAN HEART THE DESIRE TO KNOW & BE KNOWN, TO LOVE & BE LOVED, & SO MANY SEEK A COUNTERFEIT AT THE PRICE OF A FEW BEERS. WITH ALL MY HEART I BELIEVE THAT CHRIST WANTS HIS CHURCH TO BE...A FELLOWSHIP WHERE PEOPLE CAN COME IN & SAY, "I’M SUNK!" "I’VE HAD IT!"
3. In the various roles you fulfill in the church, in your family, in your
relationships, are you "someone with skin?
4. Can others come to you & say, "I"m sunk!" "I’ve had it!" "I’m going under
for the third time!"
C. The Encouragement Book by Dinkmeyer & Losonsy - 9 traits of an encouraging
person
Discourager Encourager
Ineffective listener Effective listener
Focuses on negatives Focuses on positives
(idiocyncrisies or (strengths)
weaknesses)
Competing & Comparing Cooperation
Threatening Accepting others
Uses sarcasm & Uses humor & hope
embarrassment
Humiliates Stimulates
Recognizes only well- Recognizes effort &
done tasks improvement
Disinterested Interested in feelings
in feelings
Bases worth on Bases worth on just
performance being
C. First ingredients of getting along with others are encouragement & comfort
II. WALK IN FELLOWSHIP WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT
(IL) Pastor Carl took Donna out to lunch on Sundays. People in the congregation didn’t like their money they put in the offering plate being used so frivolously. Folks became judgmental & critical in other areas. Pastor Carl eventually left the church & the ministry.
(IL) Pastor Bob had two young children & lived about three miles from the church. He took one car & went to the church early to check thermostat, turn lights on, last minute study before Sunday School started. Wife came later with the kids in the other car. People thought it was a waste of their money they put in the offering plate for the pastor’s family to drive two cars to church. Again, they became judgmental, critical, and bitter in other areas.
Pastor Bob left the church.
A. What is wrong with those pictures?
1. People not walking in fellowship with the Holy Spirit
2. Not everything the pastor did was right
3. Either side – bitterness, anger, critical attitudes aren’t fruit of the
Holy Spirit
B. How often do you think about the Holy Spirit?
1. Think about God the Father & Jesus
2. Easy for Him to become the forgotten member of the Godhead
3. To get out of fellowship w/ Him can cause problems in our lives and
sometimes others pay for it
4. Drew us to Christ & continues to do so
5. Helps us pray, comforts us, guides, directs
6. Gives us gifts, convicts, etc
C. To walk out of fellowship with Him will cause problems
D. Sin is the only thing that will hinder our fellowship with Him
1. Not emotions or circumstances, but sin
2. Only be restored thru confession & forgiveness
III. LIVE LIVES OF TENDERNESS & COMPASSION
A. Without these there will be no unity or togetherness
B. Take a look at your relationships now (family, chapel, others)
1. Characterized by tenderness & compassion or by harshness & cruelty
2. Conversation/speech characterized by grace & understanding or by
sarcasm, anger, & bitterness
3. Do you try to understand others before expecting them to understand you?
4. On a scale of 1-10, how are your listening skills?
C. Charles Swindoll gives us some A-B-C’s in being tender & compassionate (think
about your closest relationships)
I Accept you as you are
I Believe you are valuable
I Care when you hurt
I Desire only what is best for you
I Erase all offense
1. This is the kind of tenderness & compassion Paul is talking about.
a. Fosters togetherness, unity, & closeness in relationships
CONCLUSION
· Paul has given us a recipe for being someone with skin
š Encouraging and comforting
š Walk in fellowship with the Holy Spirit
š Be tender & compassionate
· Result will be that rather than looking like a bride who was just beat up on her way to the wedding, we will be the Bride of Christ who truly glorifies God
· Have stronger families who encourage & comfort & strengthen one another
· Depends on each one of us as we allow the Holy Spirit to incorporate these ingredients into our lives
