MELVIN NEWLAND, MINISTER
RIDGE CHAPEL, KANSAS, OK
(Revised: 2018)
TEXT: 1 Thessalonians 2:7-12
A. Do you remember when men were men & you could tell it by looking, when women were the ones who wore earrings & makeup? Do you remember when men knew who they were & had confidence in themselves & in their God? They knew where God was leading them, & trusted Him to get them there.
Maybe the problem today is that our modern society has tried to convince women that they can be as masculine as men, & men that they can be as feminine as women.
B. Father’s Day presents us with an opportunity to examine ourselves as men - not through a distorted world view - but as a man who knows he is a man & is proud of that. Yet at the same time, to have a tender heart that is sensitive to others & to the will of God. I’m talking about fatherhood the way it ought to be.
C. Where do you find guidance for that? Well, the Bible is always the best source. So I’ve selected a passage from 1 Thess. 2 that few would consider to be a Father’s Day text. But I think it is a good one.
In 1 Thessalonians 2:7-12, Paul says, “…we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.
“We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.
“Surely you remember, brothers, our toil & hardship; we worked night & day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you.
“You are witnesses, & so is God, of how holy, righteous & blameless we were among you who believed.
“For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting & urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom & glory.”
PROP. Let me suggest that in these few verses we see a model of fatherhood that is worth examining. And as you look at them, realize that these are traits greatly needed today.
I. ABLE TO EXPRESS GENUINE LOVE
A. The first trait would be the ability to express genuine love. Notice what Paul says in vs. 8, “We loved you so much.”
In the Greek language, those words expressed an intensity of love that gives over & over again. Paul is saying, “It’s hard even to find words to express how much - but we really do love you.”
I think that is an important character trait for fathers & grand-fathers because expressing love does not come naturally for most men. I’m convinced that is why the Bible tells husbands to “love” their wives, because we have to learn how to love.
The Bible almost never tells wives to “love” their husbands because that usually comes naturally for them. Instead, wives are told to “respect” their husbands, because sometimes that is hard to do.
Men, most of us have to learn how to express love. That is true about the father & child relationship, too. It doesn’t usually come easy for us.
ILL. Do you remember when you brought your first child home? Your wife seemed to know what to do. She knew the head was heavy & that the muscles had not developed in the neck to support it. So she supported it.
She also knew that the soft spot on top of the head was a place of vulnerability & you had to be really careful about it.
She knew when the baby was hungry, & when its diaper needed to be changed. And she changed it with skill. She knew when it was bath time & play time & sleep time. She knew all those things.
But we men had a lot to learn. When we first held the baby, at least for many of us, it was an awkward experience. I didn’t know when the baby was hungry, & when the diaper needed to be changed. And I was not very skilled at changing diapers, either. All those things had to be learned.
But soon we get to the place where even if we’re not so good at them, we kind of enjoy them. We enjoy holding our children. We enjoy playing with them, watching them laugh, & comforting them when they are in distress.
B. Then what happens? They grow up, & just about the time we get good at it, it all changes.
ILL. A few years ago the cartoon strip, “For Better or for Worse,” showed Dad coming into the room where his teenage daughter was sitting on the couch watching television & munching popcorn. So he decided to sit down next to her & help himself to the popcorn.
As he was sitting there, a little thought balloon appears over his head. He’s thinking, “I remember when she was so young. I held her in my arms & loved her, & it was wonderful.
“Now look at her. She’s all grown up, & such a beautiful girl, too. I wonder what she would think if I held her like I used to & told her again that I love her?” He finally concludes that she would be uncomfortable if he did that.
While he’s thinking that, his daughter is thinking, “I wonder why Dad never hugs me anymore?”
It's not very easy knowing how to be a good father.
C. Our best example of fatherhood, of course, is our Father in heaven. And the best story to show that is the one Jesus told about the Prodigal Son.
You know the story. The son goes into a far country & squanders all his money. And when he runs out of money he runs out of friends & ends up in a hog wallow, eating from the slop that is fed to the pigs. This is the most humiliating place a Jewish boy could possibly be.
As he sits there the Bible says, “…he came to his senses.” And he starts thinking, “How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father.” (Luke 15:17-18)
Now notice something important. He felt that he could go back to his father. The relationship might never be the same. But he knew the door was open to him.
How did he know that? Evidently, all through the time of raising his son the father had communicated his love. “No matter how far you go, you can always come back home again.” That kind of love is a vital thing to communicate to our children.
The son decided, “I will say to him: ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven & against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ So he got up and went to his father.” (Luke 15:18-20)
I think this was a speech he practiced over & over again. But before he could blurt it out his father had run to him & thrown his arms around him & kissed him. The father had no fear of expressing love.
SUM. You know, the beautiful part is that our Father in Heaven always leaves the door open for us to come home again. And as dads, we need to teach our kids, no matter how deep their sin, “You can always come home.” And there’ll be a father waiting to throw his arms around you, & to assure you of his abiding love.
II. MODELING CHRIST
The second trait is modeling Christ - setting the right example. Paul writes in 1 Thess. 2:8, “We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.”
ILL. Maybe you have heard the joke that Max Lucado tells about a man who had a bad attitude praying to God.
He prayed, "Why has my brother been blessed with wealth & I with nothing? All my life I have never missed a day without saying morning & evening prayers. My church attendance has been almost perfect. I have always loved my neighbor & given of my money. Yet, now as I near the end of my life, I can hardly afford to pay my rent.
"My brother, on the other hand, drinks & gambles. Yet he has more money than he can count. I don't think it is fair. Why has he been given so much & I have been given nothing?"
God replied, "It's because, "you're such a self-righteous pain in the neck."
Do you understand? Paul is saying, “When we lived among you we not only told you the good news, we modeled it for you by how we lived.” If you’re a Christian dad, your kids ought to know it by the way you live, & in the attitudes you demonstrate.
I think kids need to see in their fathers, not just an authority figure, but someone who is real, someone whose heart has been touched & changed, who still makes mistakes & yet has the courage to admit that he has made those mistakes.
III. A POSITIVE INFLUENCE
Thirdly, the trait of a positive influence - living a life worthy of God. Paul said, “You are witnesses, & so is God, of how holy, righteous & blameless we were among you who believed.” (Vs. 10)
"For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom and glory." (1 Thess. 2:11-12)
God has commissioned dads to be spiritual leaders. And you’re the spiritual leader of your home whether you realize it or not. You will either lead your family closer to God or further away.
As spiritual leaders it’s our responsibility to show that we are genuine, that our Christianity is not just something for Sunday, but something we are all week long.
SUM. So it is absolutely essential that we be genuine, & that our children see that we not only worship here but that we worship at home. We not only read the Word of God here, but we read it at home. We not only pray here, but that we pray every day of our lives. And that they see the genuineness of your faith.
ILL. Listen to Brian’s story: “I was just 12 years old when my Boy Scout troop planned a father-son campout. I was thrilled & could hardly wait to rush home & give my father all the information.
“I wanted so much to show him all I’d learned in scouting, & I was so proud when he said he’d go with me.
“The Friday of the campout finally came, & I had all my gear out on the porch, ready to stuff it in his car the moment he arrived. We were all to meet at the school at 5 p.m. to go to the campground. But Dad didn’t get home from work until 7 p.m.
“I was frantic, but he explained that things had gone wrong at work & told me not to worry. We could still get up first thing in the morning & join the others. I was disappointed, of course, but decided to make the best of it.
“First thing in the morning, I was up & had everything in his car while it was still getting light, all ready for us to catch up with my friends & their fathers at the campground. Dad had said we’d leave around 7 a.m., & I was ready a half-hour before that. But he didn’t even come out of his room until 9 a.m.
“When he saw me standing out front with the camping gear, he finally explained that he had a bad back & couldn’t sleep on the ground. He hoped I’d understand & that I’d be a ‘big boy’ about it … but could I please get my things out of his car, because he had several commitments he had to keep.
“Just about the hardest thing I’ve ever done was to go to the car & take out my sleeping bag, cook stove, pup tent, & supplies. And then, while I was putting my stuff away in the storage shed & he thought I couldn’t see, I watched him carry his golf clubs out & throw them in his trunk & drive away to keep his ‘commitment.’
“That’s when I realized my dad never meant to go with me to the campout. I didn’t matter to him, but his golfing buddies did.”
I am so glad that most dads I know are not like that!
ILL. Charlie Shedd writes about moving his family from Kansas to OK. He said that there was a bale of baler twine he had saved for some reason but that he had never used.
So as they were getting ready to move he told his son, Phillip, “I don’t want you to mess with that baler twine. That’s special, so please don’t touch it.”
He said, “That must have been like saying ‘Sic ‘em,’ to a dog, for almost every day I found that he had been playing with my baler twine. I would lecture him & tell him, ‘Don’t play with it.’ But it seemed like a magnet that kept pulling him back.
“Then one day, I came home from work & there was baler twine almost everywhere. It was stretched & crisscrossed all across the garage door,” he said.
“As I started cutting my way through just to get the car into the garage, I rehearsed the lecture I was going to give my son. But,” he said, “as I cut away I started thinking, ‘What am I going to do with this baler twine?’ And then he realized that maybe the baler twine was not nearly that important.
“So,” he said, “that night when we sat down at the evening meal, & said a prayer to thank God for the food, Phillip remained with his head bowed. I said, ‘Phillip, about that baler twine.’ Phillip’s head bowed even lower & you could tell he was really disturbed.”
Then Charlie Shedd said, "Phillip, I've decided that baler twine is not worth nearly as much as you are. You’re really a special son, & I love you a bunch. If you want to play with the baler twine, just help yourself.”
And he added, “Phillip never touched the baler twine again.” Now that is what I call a positive influence, & that’s what I really call love.
INVITATION:
