MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER
CENTRAL CHRISTIAN, BROWNSVILLE, TX
A. Well, today is Father’s Day. The ladies of the church honored us this past week in a special "Father & Son" banquet, with good food, program, & special recognitions. It was great, & on behalf of the men, ladies, let me thank you all again.
ILL. A few years ago, Bill Cosby began his book, "Fatherhood," with these words: "So you’ve decided to have a child. You’ve decided to give up quiet evenings with good books & lazy weekends with good music, intimate meals during which you finish whole sentences, sweet private times when you’ve savored the thought that just the two of you & your love are all you will ever need.
"You’ve decided to turn your sofas into trampolines, & to abandon the joys of leisurely contemplating reproductions of great art for the joys of frantically coping with reproductions of yourselves. Why?"
He goes on, "Poets have said the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality; & I must admit I did ask God to give me a son because I wanted someone to carry on the family name. Well, God did just that & I now confess that there have been times I’ve told my son not to reveal who he is. `You make up a name,’ I’ve said. `Just don’t tell anybody whose son you are.’"
SUM. Well, today is Father’s Day, a day to honor fathers, & a day to reaffirm that God has given us, as fathers, great responsibility in our homes.
B. Now in times past we have talked about some of God’s wonderful promises.
And today, I want to call your atttention to a promise found in Deuteronomy 5:16. I’m sure you have heard it before. But please listen again.
It says, "Honor your father & your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long & that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you."
That promise is repeated in the N.T, in Ephesians 6:1-3. Listen to it. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. `Honor your father & mother’ - which is the first commandment with a promise - ’that it may go well with you & that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’"
C. Now I should also point out that the Bible does speak plainly about those who don’t honor their father & mother. And at first glance, these words will be a shock to most of you who hear them.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 says, "If a man has a stubborn & rebellious son who does not obey his father & mother & will not listen to them when they discipline him, his father & mother shall take hold of him & bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. They shall say to the elders, `This son of ours is stubborn & rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate & a drunkard.’ Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it & be afraid."
Didn’t I say that this would shock you? But I must hasten to point out that during the time the people of Israel tried faithfully to obey God’s laws, there is no record of any parents ever having to do what we just read.
I imagine there were some sons back then who were stubborn & rebellious at times, but they knew the law, & the certainty of the consequences if they didn’t change their ways. As a result, there is no record of that sentence ever having to be carried out.
ILL. Back in 1939, when our family was on the way home from our mission in the mountains of China & Tibet, we were on a British ship in the Port of Haiphong in French Indo China. The Japanese/Chinese war had been going on for some time, but WW2 as we know it had not yet begun.
I can remember standing on the deck of that British ship when, suddenly, Japanese warplanes appeared & began attacking the port & the city around it. I can remember seeing wave after wave of high-flying bombers dropping bombs on the city & seeing buildings collapse in clouds of dust & smoke.
And forever etched in my mind will be the terrible scene of Japanese planes diving over & over again, strafing, bombing, & sinking helpless little Chinese junks, boats that were frantically trying to get close to the safety of our ship. And most of them did not make it.
You see, the British government had told the Japanese that the moment a Japanese bomb hit a British ship, Britain & Japan would be at war. The Japanese believed the British meant what they said, so at that time they carefully avoided bombing or strafing anywhere near a British ship.
APPL. Folks, I’m alive today because the Japanese believed that the British meant what they said. But I’m afraid that, whether it is between nations, or between individuals, or in the family, most of the time nobody today believes that anybody really means what they say.
D. Let me illustrate what I’m saying. For example, when an exasperated parent says to a child, "I’ve told you a thousand times, don’t ..." there are at least 2 things to realize.
First of all, the parent is probably exaggerating. But, secondly, the child has been taught that the parent doesn’t really mean what he or she said the first time. No wonder children are confused about right & wrong.
In fact, our whole culture is confused. It’s not sure what family is anymore. There are so many mixed signals about the roles of the father & mother, or how children fit into the family framework at all.
ILL. Today, 18.5 million single-parent homes are in existence. That’s twice as many as existed in the 70’s. Most of those single parents are mothers having to assume the role of being both mother & father in trying to raise their children. Now there are some fathers doing it, but most are mothers.
ILL. Researchers tell us that by Jr. High, kids have seen 18,000 television murders, plus untold other unsightly things their eyes should not have seen. One-eighth of all parents abuse alcohol today.
And one-third of all teens, by the time they reach the 8th grade have had sex. Things are pretty confusing today, aren’t they?
ILL. An article last year listed 5 major voices speaking out about family & family values. And what a diversity of voices they are!
1. The first one was Dan Quayle, former vice-president, who has written a book which advocates revitalization of two-parent families, & close-knit neighborhoods. He has received some praise for his views. But, of course, he has also received a lot of ridicule & abuse because of it.
2. The second voice mentioned was Hillary Clinton, who has issued a book about how it takes the village to raise a child. And she advocates that the government assume more & more of a major role in determining how our children are raised & what they are taught.
3. The third voice mentioned was William Bennett, who says that the problem is a lack of virtue & morality in today’s culture. He believes that if we would once again lift high the standards of personal virtue & morality that our crumbling families & society would be whole again.
4. A fourth voice mentioned was Jonathan Kazol, a Harvard graduate & a journalist, who maintains that the big culprit is poverty. He says that if we would just educate the middle & upper classes about the plight of the poor, & have a national policy to distribute our wealth more evenly, then most of our family & societal problems would disappear.
5. A fifth voice mentioned was Mary Pfeifer, a psychologist who suggests that a major problem is that society as a whole is constantly being bombarded by mental & moral trash in its music, TV programs, & soap operas.
ILL. By the way, last year there was an article about a soap opera that was celebrating it’s anniversary as one of the longest-running soap operas on television. I don’t remember now what the name of the program was, whether it was "As the Stomach Turns" or what.
But the article was praising it for being innovative, for being the first soap opera to introduce so many important things onto the television screen. Listen to some of things the article was praising it for.
It was the first to show an extra-marital affair; the first to show sexual relationships between people of the same sex; the first to show a gay marriage. I mean, they were saying that this was really a quality program because it had introduced & glorified so many wonderful ideas into our culture.
E. There are a lot of different & strange voices, aren’t there? And how do you sort them out? How do you make sense of it all?
I think that God’s answer to this confusing situation is parents, with special emphasis on the responsibilities of the father. He is to love his family so much, & be so concerned about them that he & his wife will sort through it all & chart a course for the family that is right & true & godly.
That’s the reason Father’s Day is so important, because, guys, you are important. You’re important to your wife. You’re important to your children. You’re important to your home. And in this confusing time, we must be strong enough to stand the ground & chart the course for our families.
PROP. So how do we do that? Let me give you some suggestions.
I. PROVIDER
A. First of all, I think God wants us to be a provider for our family. Now that’s pretty obvious. You knew that before you came to church this morning, so you’re not going to go home & say, "I learned this great new truth. I’m supposed to be a provider."
1 Timothy 5:8 says, "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, & especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith & is worse than an unbeliever." In other words, you’re like a pagan if you don’t take care of your family.
Materially, we are supposed to provide for our families - to provide food & shelter & clothing for them, & provide for their education. All those things are very important for us to do.
B. But we’re also to provide for them emotionally. The home is often an emotional mess, & there needs to be some emotional stability in the home that comes from the father.
The father is to be an encourager, the kind of guy who listens when his children speak.
ILL. A Dennis the Menace cartoon shows Dennis speaking to his father, saying, "Dad, it’s raining outside." Mr. Mitchell was reading his paper & also watching the news on television. So he grunted, "Uh huh."
Undeterred, Dennis went on, " Margaret is getting ready to go to camp this week." Mr. Mitchell answered, "Good." "Did you know that Mr. Wilson is going to move?" "Oh, is he?" "And Mom said she was going to bake a pie for supper tonight. Won’t that be good?" "Uh huh," he said.
By this time Dennis was so frustrated that he said, "Dad, you aren’t listening to me at all." Mr. Mitchell said, "Dennis, I’m busy. I’m trying to catch up on the news." Dennis answered, "But Dad, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you."
You see, for a child there may be nothing more important than the news that it’s raining outside, & Margaret’s going to camp, Mr. Wilson’s moving, & Mom is baking a pie. So when they tell you that, they need to have your ear, your eyes, your heart, & your emotions.
That creates emotional stability. That child knows, "I’m important to my dad. And what I say he wants to hear. He’s really interested in me."
C. We must also provide them respect for authority. We must know & love our children, & thus be wise enough to figure out what type of discipline works best for each of them.
Sometimes you need to punish, & sometimes to be permissive. But in the process, teach them to respect authority. For if respect for authority is not learned in the home, it will not be practiced in society.
And the result will be a rebellious child who has no respect for people, no respect for the law, & no respect for the boss at work. And you remember what Deuteronomy says about a rebellious child.
SUM. So first of all, God expects us to be a provider.
II. PROTECTOR
Secondly, we are to be protectors. There are a lot of evil influences & negative peer pressures tugging on our children. And we have to teach them patiently what is right & what is wrong. Now how do we do that?
I think, as dads, we do that by setting an example for them. They must see something in us that’s different from the rest of the world. We must become a pillar of spiritual strength in our home.
The Bible says that if Satan can get a foothold, that’s all he needs. And I’m convinced that the foothold he wants to get in the home is in the heart of the father. If he can establish a foothold in your heart, if he can begin to tear you down, he often gets the whole family in the process.
So you must develop the kind of spiritual strength that will not allow Satan to get a foothold in your life. You must put on your spiritual armor every day. Let them see you pray. Let them see you read the Bible, & have family times together when you sit around & read the great stories from God’s Word. You communicate God’s love, & treat God’s things with reverence.
ILL. If you’re a father who comes to church & then goes home & complains about everything that went on from the air-conditioning to the music to the sermon, I tell you something. Your children will grow up with a negative impression about the church that will bear negative fruit in their lives. And then one of these days they won’t be in church anymore.
And guess what? One of these days you won’t meet them in heaven, either. And it may very well be because of the negative influence that you established in their lives as you molded their personalities & influenced their thinking.
So teach them respect for the godly things of life. And you be a spiritual leader in your home.
III. PRAYERS
A. Thirdly, we are to be prayers. We must be prayers for our families.
Job 1:5 says that Job prayed for his children every day. And David prayed for Solomon, & thus Solomon became the king over all of Israel.
You need to pray. The moment you find out that you & your wife are expecting a child you ought to start praying. In fact, you probably ought to start praying before you know that you’re expecting a child.
Start praying for that child, & pray that child will be the kind of person who will bring honor & glory to God through the life he or she lives. So begin early to pray. Pray before they’re born. Pray when they’re born. And pray for them throughout their lives.
ILL. My children are all grown & I’m praying more for them now than I ever prayed before. Our children will never outgrow their need for our prayers.
B. Now when you’re praying for your children, let me suggest that you also pray for yourself because this job is just too big for us. We must come humbly before the Lord & thank Him for our families & our children. But admit in the process that we desperately need His help in handling the important job of being a father in this world.
We need to discipline our children when they’re wrong. We need to praise them when they’re right. And we need to pray for them all the time.
And the great part is, God answers prayer. If you pray that your children not be led into temptation, don’t be surprised when temptation is taken away & they’re able to get through the turbulent waters with success.
If you pray that they’ll have the right friends, don’t be surprised when they bring home good friends, because God still answers prayers. If you pray that their needs will be met, or they’ll make the right career choice, or select the right mate, & you find that happening, don’t be surprised because God hears your prayers & will answer them as well.
ILL. Gen. Douglas MacArthur wrote this prayer for his son. He prayed: "Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, & brave enough to face himself when he is afraid. One who will be proud & unbending in honest defeat, & humble & gentle in victory.
"Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds - a son who will know Thee, who is the foundation stone of knowledge. Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease & comfort, but under the stress & spur of difficulties & challenge.
"Here let him learn to stand up to the storm. Here let him learn compassion for those who fail. Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high, a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men, one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.
"And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor so that he may always be serious but never take himself too seriously. Give him humility so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, & an open mind of true wisdom, & the meekness of true strength.
"Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, `I have not lived in vain.’"
APPL. Give us such sons & daughters, Father, we pray. And help us to be the kind of fathers that we must be to raise them. Happy Father’s Day!
CONCL. This morning, if you’re here & you’re not a Christian, we extend the invitation of the Lord & pray that you will give your heart & life to Him. Come as we stand & as we sing.
