Hope & Healing For The Home
Morning Star Family Day 11/22/98 Genesis 50:15-21 Ephesians 4:17-32
Today as you celebrate Family Day, I want you to know that no family is complete without the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ in the home. God has many ways of entering into our families in order to get our attention that in Him there is hope and healing for every home.
The story is told of a man and his three boys who lived in the woods. There was old man Jed, Sam, Clyde, and Bobby. They had some of the foulest mouths with absolutely no need for God. God’s name was not mentioned without a curse word behind it. One day Bobby was out hunting and a rattlesnake bit him. They took him to the doctor. Things didn’t look good for Bobby. The doctor told them "there’s not much hope for a healing" My advice to you is to do some serious praying.
Afraid of losing his son, old man Jed told Clyde, "Go get that new preacher that’s been bugging us for a six months to come to come to church, to come and pray for your brother, Bobby. Clyde went and got the preacher. Rev. Jones was an honest and direct preacher . He had been frustrated with the whole family, but seeing them in need he came to offer prayer. He said Lord, "I thank you for sending this rattlesnake to bite Bobby. Before he got bit, he never thought about you and what you could do for his life. Lord, in your mercy, please touch and heal his body. Now Lord would you please send two more rattlesnakes to bite Sam and Clyde, and a great big ole rattlesnake for their dad old man Jed so that you might get their attention as well."
Knowing God, is not simply about trying to get a hold of God when there is an emergency in the home. It’s not about hoping that when we get into a jam, the God we’ve ignored day after day is going to come to our aid like the hero in the movies.
God is not interested in being our hero. Jesus rose that He might be the ruler of our lives in everyday situations, so that He could fill us with power to live differently. Knowing God is knowing that there is always hope and healing for our lives and for our families. We all look so nice here on Family Day and there will be even more great looking people at the next service, but a relationship with God goes deeper than looking nice. Behind our good looks are families in pain. The bible is real down to earth book that deals with real life situations. It tells it like it is.
It tells of the heartache that we experience in families. There were two brothers, Cain and Able. One was so envious of another, he killed him. There’s a father, David, and a son, Amon, who stops speaking to each other for years. There’s a brother, Amnon who rapes his sister, Tamar. There’s a mother, Rebekah who plays favorites with her sons, Jacob and Esau. . There’s a son who is stealing from his mother. There’s a daughter who connives to have sex with her father. There’s a father who abuses his wife. There’s a wife who cheats on her husband.
There’s a son who demands his inheritance even before his father dies, as if the world owed him a living. There’s a father who destroys his family because he will not control his lust. There’s a man who leaves his wife for a younger woman. There are good parents whose children completely reject their religious teachings and live immoral lives. The pain caused by all these things go on and on and on. Little has changed. Today in our homes, we have children stealing from their parents, we have spouses unfaithful to each other, we have family members not speaking to each other, we have hatred and jealousy between brothers and sisters, we have sexual abuse of children going on.
We have promises that are made and broken, we have ungrateful parents that no matter how much we do, its never enough. We have ungrateful family members that live off of us, never contributing a dime, yet they seek to make us feel as though they are doing us a favor by letting us take care of them. We have circumstances that we did not ask for and situations that simply dropped into our lives. My friends merely hoping these things will get better is not enough.
It is a great fallacy to think that time alone will heal each of these situations. No the person may grow older, but not necessarily wiser, or kinder, or more loving, or more responsible. We need a power from above to deal with some of these situations in order to begin to have hope and to see healing come into our situations.
The reality is that some of these people that are causing us the pain, are not going to go away. Jesus said in John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Notice Jesus said he has overcome the world. A lot of our problems come from the belief that we can be god.
We believe that we can change others. If I just do so and so then he or she will change. Our society is built around this attempt to play God. If we just give people the right environment, they will behave themselves. I ask you, what’s the right environment. Is it having wealth? If that were so, how come people who have the most money usually do the most stealing in order to get even more. Is it having a great education? It was people with great education that gave us the nuclear bomb, uzzi machine guns, and poisonous gas. Is it having fame and success? Why is it that 3 people with all the fame and success usually have more divorces in 10 years than 25 no names do in 30 years ?
We start off our families wrong at the point of marriage when we think, "I know once I marry him or her, I’m going to change that attitude they have or that weakness they present. Now the person may have had the problem for 20 or 30 or 40 years. What makes us think, we’re equipped to change it within a year. Accept it, we can’t change anyone. It’s like Pastor Toby said of the little boy who would not sit down. His mother finally used physical force to make him sit down. Before she could feel good about her victory, the little boy said, "I may be sitting down on the outside, but I’m still standing on the inside."
Jesus recognizes the problem is not in our circumstances or environment. Our problems are rooted on the inside in the heart. That’s why God does not hold us responsible to change others. God does not call us to change people in our homes, but to influence them by letting our light shine. We can’t get in there and change the hearts of another person. That’s left up to the power of God . Knowing Christ is about getting in touch with the power that can change us.
There are some things in our families that we can do something about. Jesus is in the business of changing attitudes. If we change ourselves as God would have us do it, the life of our families would get better. It does not matter if anyone else changes or not, our families will be a better place to be. If God can simply change us, that alone starts to bring hope and healing for the rest of the family.
We take on unnecessary anguish when we want to be the savior of our families. Jesus is all the Savior this world is ever going to need. No matter how much you hope that family member get off drugs, it will not happen until that family member wants to get off drugs. That’s when Jesus can come in and make a difference.
No matter how much we hope our young people will turn away from engaging in sexual intercourse, unless they want to turn away, there’s not a lot we can do to stop it from happening. Oh we can make it more difficult for them to find a time and a place and we should, but we deceive ourselves if we think we can prevent it. It’s when they want something better for their lives, that the power of Jesus Christ can come in and make a difference.
No matter how much we hope that others in our families will let go of bitterness and resentment and move on in their lives, unless they want to get rid of that poison and venom within them, there is no hope. But when they decide, God I need a change, they will discover that the power of Jesus Christ can set them free from their self imposed captivity.
The experiences that come into our lives, will either make us better or bitter. God always leaves the choice up to us. Some of us feel pretty justified in disliking so and so, even to the point of hating them. We don’t realize our hatred is causing our blood pressure to rise, steadily pushing us to an earlier grave, all because we want them to pay. That hatred we have inside may not be bothering them in the least little bit. Why don’t you do something that might really hurt them, like forgive them and go on and become all that God intended for you to be with your life.
For hope and healing to come into our lives, we may have to let go of the past, in order to enjoy the present and be able to dream for the future. There are things that we can never change, so we learn to adjust our lives to live with them, and still become all God is calling us to be
There’s a story in the Bible of a young man, who was sold as an animal by his own brothers. That young man was taken to another country where He was a slave. One thing He had though was God looking out for him. He went from being a slave, to being in prison for something he didn’t do. But God was looking out for him. One day he walked out of that jail cell, and the next day he was like the prime minister of the entire country. There was a great famine in that part of the world, and the young man’s brothers who had sold him as a slave 13 years earlier, had to come to his country to get food. They never thought they would ever need their brother’s services. They never thought he would become the most powerful person in Egypt. That person that you are bent on hating today, may one day determine the course of your life.
The young man’s name was Joseph. He got even with his brothers not by torturing them to death or saying "Get out or my life. I wouldn’t help you if my life depended on it." No when they said, "please forgive us for the wrong that we did to you those many years ago." Joseph said to them, "Don’t be afraid. You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. I will provide for you and your children."
Friends, you’ve got some aches and pains in your lives and in your families, because someone did intend to harm you. But so did Joseph, and so did Jesus, and so does almost everyone else in this building today. Why let it rob you of life and make you a bitter person. If you want to rise above that situation, there’s more than hope available to you, there is power in Jesus Christ to make it happen.
You know something, pretty soon you are going to be dead. Look at the person next to you and say, it won’t be long now. When you die all your envy, jealousy, hatred, anger and unforgiveness is going to die with you. Only unlike Jesus, you won’t be coming back in three days. Not only will your unforgiveness have caused you and others needless pain in this world, it’s only going to hurt you in the life that is to come. The Bible clearly teaches anyone who does not forgive, will not be forgiven.
To forgive someone does not mean that you and this other person are going to be buddy buddy and chummy chummy. It does mean that you are going to treat this other person as though it did not happen, and you are giving up your right to get even. There is a liberation that comes in forgiving others. You find yourself free to love once again.
Women you can’t be free to love your husbands if you don’t forgive them. Men you can’t be free to love your wives if you don’t forgive them. Kids you can’t continue to love your parents if you don’t forgive them and parents you won’t be free to love your children if you don’t forgive them. Brothers and sisters, what happened in the past has happened. Forgive each other and move on in life.
So what if mom and dad treated the other one better. Some of us are refusing to forgive people that are already dead. They didn’t give us the inheritance they should have, they didn’t do this thing for us, or they hurt us in that area. It does not matter, the remedy for us is all the same. We need to forgive so that we can be what God intended for us to be. We need to forgive to find the hope and healing God wants to grant into our homes.
We cannot afford to wait for some family members to come and ask us for forgiveness. Some of them will never do it either because of pride, hatred or a thousand other reasons. Their problem should not become our problem. Jesus did not wait upon the cross for someone to say, "Oh Jesus, please forgive me for my part in this crucifixion," No, he shouted out throughout eternity, "Father, please forgive them for they don’t understand what they are doing."
Oh yes it may be hard to give up the right to want to get even, but in the long run, it’s even harder living with poison inside of us. In Jesus there is the power to not only to drain the poison, He can replace it with life giving spirit. It’s not too late for us to change and let the healing begin. We may want to pray, oh Lord just change him or change her now. It would be better to approach God with the old song, "It’s me, it’s me, it’s me oh Lord standing in the need of prayer. Not my husband nor my wife but it’s me oh Lord. Not my mother nor my father, but it’s me oh lord. Not my sister nor my brother, but its me oh Lord standing in the need of prayer.
We are commanded by God to be kind and compassionate to one another. Do we have any homes here that could use a little more kindness and compassion? We are quick to point out one another’s faults and weaknesses, but when was the last time you encouraged someone in your family, pointing out something good someone had done. When have you bragged on your kids, or your parents, or your brothers or sisters in public and let the world know how proud of them you are. When was the last time you looked for a good quality in that family member who always seems to be screwing up or messing up and gave them a word to build them up.
Any marriages that could use a little more kindness and compassion here this morning? Do you talk to each other with love and respect? Have you told each other what you appreciated about the other lately. Have you done something to make your marriage more exciting. When was the last time you told her she’s beautiful or told him how handsome he is? How willing are you to say, "Honey, I’m sorry, but I was wrong?"
Any family relationships that can use a little more kindness and compassion. When was the last time you helped someone else do their chores in the home without asking them to pay you? When was the last time you went beyond just doing your share. Isn’t it great to be blessed with something you don’t serve? When was the last time you blessed someone that way, just to bring a little joy in their lives.
We can’t help from hurting each other and misunderstanding each other at times. That’s why God invented those words, "I’m sorry" or today’s young people say, "my bag". How then do we continue to have kindness and compassion as a feature of our homes. The secret to it is found in the conclusion of the verse which says, "forgiving each other, just as God in Christ forgave you."
We are going to be hurt by others in the family. But realize just because we got hurt, does not mean the other person intended to hurt us. Quit believing the person did it just to hurt you, and ask why did you do or say such and such. Then be willing to accept their explanation, without insisting, "Oh I know you, I know exactly what your reason or motive was." No you don’t and neither do I."
If we love one another, we’re going to have to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Your way of seeing something is not the only way it can be seen. If the other person tells you, "I was hurt by shat you did" instead of saying, "that’s stupid, or you’re too sensitive, or nobody else would have taken it that way" try saying, "I’m sorry you were hurt by that, because that was not my intention." If we would swallow our pride, we would not have to stay on the defensive in our families.
Sometimes we won’t forgive, simply because we won’t accept the other person’s explanation. If we have to be wrong on the subject of forgiveness, let’s be wrong of forgiving too much, than of forgiving too little.
Friends we must go beyond hoping for better individual lives or for better families. Hope may keep us going for a while but it’s going to fail us. What we need is the power to make it happen. That’s found in Jesus Christ alone. We all start out in the same boat together. We can each leave today committed to making our homes a better place, by allowing Jesus to make us a better saint. But we can’t make it happen without first giving our lives to Jesus Christ. It takes far too much forgiveness and patience to bring hope and healing to our homes than we can muster up on our own. Our God provides grace for those difficult moments.
When Christ died for us, He didn’t die just for us to all be able to shout and go to heaven. If that were the case, each Christian would die as soon as he or she was born again. Jesus died also that we might have life and have it abundantly on this side of the grave. Our homes and our families are dear to the heart of God because they are dear to us. God is concerned about those things which concern us. No family is going to know the healing Christ wants to give it, without someone in that family coming to know Jesus.
You may be the one whom God is calling today, to start the spark of healing that’s going to turn into a great flame.
All of our homes can be better than what they are today. In Jesus Christ, each day we can find hope and healing for our homes as we commit ourselves to saying yes to the will of God for our individual lives. For the bible challenges us all in Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. As we follow this simple advice, each day will become a day of hope and healing for our homes.
