Struck by a Demon
Rev. Ronald L. Fair
March 4, 2000
Good afternoon, my dearest church family, the family of God, friends of import, community leaders, Kappa Sigma Fraternity, and Greek Sorority friends, personal friends of Mark and special young people.
Marcia, Alison and I express our deepest thankfulness for your love and prayers, and expressed sympathies in this our darkest, saddest, most painful hour of bleakness, to ever strike our lives. This was a dear and loving son caught in a sea of despair, we did not cause. I have on the platform with me some of the most elegant and powerful clerics that I know. All are capable and have great skill of giving words of comfort using Scripture to lift our spirits with words of impression. My associate, Rev. Richard Basinger, is a skilled public speaker, as is our District Superintendent of the Arizona Conference Rev. Gilbert Ablard. Rev. Claude Phillips and I have been associated for many years. All would have been honored to share today. However, today I must take this traumatic moment to share with you personally. Although services are normally brief, I have informed Mr. Sutton that today we will show the realities of real life, with real consequences. Many of you have driven many miles and that being true, Marcia and I want to share the realities of life with you. As a good Free Methodist minister, I would not want to disappoint you with brevity.
Mark was born in Tucson, Arizona on April 12th 1978 and passed in to arms of Jesus on February 26, 2000.
I want to share with our wonderful community of Kingman, from amidst great personal pain and heartache, a story of a brilliant young man, full of love, liberal compassion and a horrid affliction in the last several months with a ‘Demon of Depression’. Marcia and Alison, who is our beautiful 12 year old, as well as Mark’s brother Carl, and his many friends must experience the effects of this horrendous demon that attacks the family of God more than any other oppression of the evil one, I believe.
There are also other items that generate or cause reaction to depression. Those items are relationships, sex and alcohol. There is far too much alcohol and careless sex in our schools, among young Christian friends everywhere. This is a tragedy—terrible in form for the lifetime damage it inflicts on family and friends.
Mark knew and loved Jesus, he had high grades, and he was popular as your presence, shows among men and women of all ages. He had been elected president of his Kappa Sigma Fraternity. He was skilled in computer knowledge and yet these evil tools of depression which involved relationships, sex and alcohol, overwhelmed him in a dark moment at the age of 21.
Marcia and I hope that in this our greatest hour of pain, heartache, tragedy, despair, dismay and emptiness, we might bring you and your family to the brink of watching, looking, and expecting that this horrid demon of Satan, could without warning strike your beautiful children.
In the midst of the pain, we pause to remember those who found Jesus far off at the hour of Lazarus death.
John 11:1-12,18-26
Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha.
This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.
So the sisters sent word to Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick."
When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it."
Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.
Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.
Then he said to his disciples, "Let us go back to Judea."
"But Rabbi," they said, "a short while ago the Jews tried to stone you, and yet you are going back there?"
Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours of daylight? A man who walks by day will not stumble, for he sees by this world’s light.
It is when he walks by night that he stumbles, for he has no light."
After he had said this, he went on to tell them, "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up."
His disciples replied, "Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better."
On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days.
Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother.
When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died.
But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."
Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"
We find ourselves saying if only—if only. Mark was in serious emotional pain for several months and we knew it. We offered professional and spiritual counsel of our own and of others. Being 21 years old, Mark had come of age. He was influenced by the modern world, the good and the evil. Alcohol, bad decisions, relationships that were not grounded in faith, ever increase the powers of that ‘Demon of Depression’. It overwhelmed him and destroyed him, destroyed his future, and destroyed finding a marriage of permanent love, thereby inflicting the honest pain and sorrow, we bear today. Mark loved Jesus, in a state of mental illness; he went to sleep without violence, but in reality inflicted great violence upon his family and you his dear friends.
The Apostle Paul, like Mark, struggled within his life and questioned the direction that God had for him as reflected in the passage of Philippians 1:20-24.
To paraphrase this Scripture, Paul said that now as always, Christ will be exalted in my body whether by life or by death. For to him, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Paul struggled as Mark did with what he desired more. That being to remain here on earth or be with his Creator. Paul once asked, what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between continuing my life in this world, yet desiring to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far. On that fateful evening, Mark truly understood Paul’s struggle on a very personal level and found himself asking the same question.
What drives our society of young, brilliant, junior high school, high school and college students to the shadows of depression, at an alarming rate? It is not the lack of money—all have money, it seems. Let me explain it to you my dear friends and young people, it is peace and happiness. Real honest peace and happiness.
Cars don’t seem to do it; Mark had eight or nine. Computers don’t do it; Mark had the best there was. Friends don’t do it, he always had friends. Compassion doesn’t do it. Mark was full of liberal compassion. For example, in my hand, I have a receipt for $590.00 where Mark bailed a friend out of jail. He always brought home someone in need, someone lost, someone hurting, someone hungry, someone broke. Sex doesn’t do it, as this is a common weekend activity on 1,000’s of campuses across America. That which is sacred and beautiful has become anemic in meaning. Recreational sex doesn’t do it. Material and social things do not do it. Prestige and honor doesn’t do it. Mark had a wall full of honors and certificates. Clothes do not do it; Mark had and bought the best. What does do it? I ask you.
Jesus said, “seek ye first the kingdom of God and all of these things will be added unto you”. Mathew 6:33
So you can understand it, life is a jigsaw puzzle--Mark did not always have the pieces in order. Many of us, in reality, misplace the pieces. We are not good at puzzle solving.
What does the Bible say about peace and happiness?
Psalms 4: 7,8
You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.
Psalms 34:14
Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
There are more of you here today who have been struck and are now struck with this ‘Demon of Depression’, when the evil one has seeded in your thinking that no one loves you, that no will miss you, that there is no way out. My young friends paint this on the palate of your mind, there is always a way out, always! There is no one woman or man worth killing yourself for. Jesus said; “come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest”. Mathew 11:28
The ‘Demon of Depression’ so attacked Mark that these verses became shrunken in his thinking abilities.
Alcohol is a product worth chatting about. It produces heartache, remorse, worry, confusion, unplanned sex, and lack of clear thinking. Saturday night was a party night, (no blame whatsoever) but some would admit, had they not been drinking they would have insisted on taking Mark to the store and evaluated the situation more clearly. There’s too much! The young ladies know it, the young men know it, I know it and Mark knew it.
The Bible says, “be drunk in the spirit”. Get high on Jesus. That will not produce unwanted babies, a waking moment of saying, “My God who was I sleeping with?”
The soothing comfort of alcohol is only temporary. Real relief comes from dealing with the cause of the anguish and sorrow and turning to God for peace. Don’t lose yourself in alcohol; find yourself in God. (Application Bible page 1116)
If we become truly drunk in the Spirit we will be full of joy and peace. We will have a full cup unable to sustain even an ounce of demonic depression.
A footnote, my dear friends, some of you who are concerned about alcoholism with your children, have far too much alcohol available in your homes.
RELATIONSHIPS—relationships must be cultivated. Love need be real. Love need be deep.
The word of God says,
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
If you mess up here young people, the ‘Demon of Depression’ will attack with the efficiency of war and will destroy the very fibers of your sanity. It can and will suggest no way out—other than tools of personal destruction. Those tools being alcohol, faulty relationships and careless sex.
Pain—Pain—Pain—sorrow—tears—weeping—reflection—lack of esteem and even earthly destruction. God help us.
This is the result—a brilliant young mind in his last year of college lying prostrate in a casket just days before his 22nd birthday, before our very eyes.
Mark as far as we knew, never ventured into the drug world. But this is something that has brought many to the brink of disaster.
As Nancy Reagan said, “just say no”!
For Jesus sake, say no!
For your family sake, say no!
For your sake, for heavens sake, say no!
In the hour of mental despair and anguish Mark slipped from this world into the arms of Jesus—but he has left lasting, permanent, ghastly scars upon his father, his mother, his sister, his brother, and you his friends.
Quite frankly, I don’t know if I shall ever preach again as well, as happy, as fulfilled, or at all. Unless the super power of the Holy Spirit overwhelms me! Alison said, “Daddy—you have to keep preaching—Mark loved your preaching—if you don’t, we are all destroyed. The demon conquers us all”.
I suffer horribly from the heartache inflicted on his dear mother and sister.
We shall never have those laughs together again. We will never buy tires together again. We shall never go on a ride together again. We will never talk on the phone again. We will never fish together again. There will be no e-mail coming or going again. No calls for advice now. No asking advice now. No “great sermon dad”. For Jesus sake, young people never, never, never do this. The pain is too ballistic. It is too horrific. It is too harmful. It is too permanent.
I shall never recover, Mrs. Fair shall never recover, Alison shall never truly recover—we have lost big time here, because Mark, through the development of mental illness and succumbing to that bleakest of moments to the greatest lie of all— “that nobody loves you”. The shadows and thunderclouds of depression overcame him, so that he forgot that Jesus loves us in our bleakest moment. It can and unfortunately does happen to nearly everyone at a long dark cloudy day of life.
ONE IMPORTANT FOOTNOTE.
You boys and girls, young people, college students, adults, I want you to write on your memory slate, “make one more call”! As long as you are calling, you are still alive! When you stop calling—the ‘Demon of Depression’ may well stop you in your tracks.
So in this sad hour, it is not a happy hour—it is a pathetically sad hour, we remind ourselves to straighten up! Seek Jesus—watch relationships, watch alcohol, watch careless sex.
Seek God; seek power. The power of the Holy Spirit. So I ask you today, who shall separate Mark or us from the love of God?
Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
The apostle Paul said;
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Yes, Paul said No—Nothing—Nothing shall separate us or Mark from the love of God in Christ Jesus.
So we commit Mark today into the arms of Jesus amidst the sea of angels—no disappointments, no tears, no hurt feelings, no lack of esteem, no pain, no suffering.
Isaiah 57:
The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.
Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death
Psalms 23:
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever. Amen.
Mark now is with the everlasting church and will come one day with Christ to gather the remaining family of God unto himself.
And Now I Close With:
A Letter From Heaven.
To my family and my friends:
There are some things I want to say.
But first of all I want you to know, I arrived okay.
I am writing this from heaven.
Here I find no tears of sadness,
no longer pain within my heart.
Here I have been set free
from the demons of fear and depression that afflicted me.
The other day when I journeyed on in sleep, when I reached heavens door,
God picked me up and hugged me and said cry no more.
I got a list of thing to do and I know you do too.
I urge you all to reach out and touch someone today anew.
Oh, I forgot to tell, don’t be afraid to cry.
Don’t cry for me, I am set free.
Sad as the moment seems to be.
My dad will tell you I am free.
Let the Spirit guide you and you will see.
I want to remind you that in a loving way,
I have arrived and tell you, let God have His way.
Then one day we will gather, have a chat or two.
I will tell you how Jesus freed me and made me all anew.
My broken elbow is all-new.
My eyes are perfect and no asthma too.
Most of all, even though I caused you great grief,
I myself am perfect and have complete relief.
