Could be an important message for you today.
What do you do when others around you are doing the wrong thing and then they try and get you to go along? Are you ready to stand up and do right, to make the right choice, to know what to say? If you can’t right now you won’t be able to then.
Peer Pressure: When others exert their influence on you to make a decision.
A few years ago psychologist Ruth W. Berenda and her associates carried out an interesting experiment with teenagers designed to show how a person handled group pressure. The plan was simple.
They brought groups of ten adolescents into a room for a test. Subsequently, each group of ten was instructed to raise their hands when the teacher pointed to the longest line on three separate charts. What one person in the group did not know was that nine of the others in the room had been instructed ahead of time to vote for the second-longest line. Regardless of the instructions they heard, once they were all together in the group, the nine were not to vote for the longest line, but rather vote for the next to the longest line. The experiment began with nine teen-agers voting for the wrong line. The stooge would typically glance around, frown in confusion, and slip his hand up with the group. The instructions were repeated and the next card was raised. Time after time, the self-conscious stooge would sit there saying a short line is longer than a long line, simply because he lacked the courage to challenge the group.
This remarkable conformity occurred in about 75% of the cases, and was true of small children and high-school students as well.
The Myths of Peer Pressure
1. It only affects the young. Never stops, ask adults.
2. You will become stronger and immune. Never strong enough to keep it from being tempting. Ask an former alcoholic or drug addict.
3. You will fit in and be popular if you give in. This is perhaps the biggest lie, you will not become more popular but less, and laughed at and looked down on as a stooge for doing what other people lead you into.
4. It can’t be that wrong if everyone else is doing it. We try and justify it because not everyone else can be wrong can they? Yes, especially if you are hanging out with those that are making bad choices or are urging you to.
5. We think we can handle it alone. We try and say I can go there and handle it all by myself. We all need support and strength and there is strength in numbers. When you are outnumbered you can easily fall.
The Facts of Peer Pressure
1. They never think about the actions or consequences. Crowds gather and begin to say, “Hey let’s throw rocks at those cars.” No one tells them no so they do it. Why? Because someone said to. Crowds never logically assess the situation and ask good questions, they only act and try and get everyone to follow. There is something about being in a group that makes us act and think different. I could get you as a group to do things you wouldn’t individually. We think because it is a group activity then it is OK no matter what.
Detroit used to be know for a couple of things, riots. After winning world championships, fires before Halloween. Why, peer pressure and not thinking about actions or consequences.
Recently in Central Park, crowds of Puerto Ricans at a festival, men became wild and began to molest women openly. Why, the immediate, spontaneous action of a crowd, peer pressure.
2. They only think about themselves. Those pressuring you to do something are not doing it for your good, or so that you will be better off they want you to go along for their own desires. It will make them feel better, it will make them look better. They don’t care about you.
3. They generally focus on rebellion. Almost all of the action from peer pressure is of a rebellious nature. Rebellious toward parents, school authority, and especially God.
4. They urge you to take action they wouldn’t or won’t alone. Why do you have to do it? Because they won’t or aren’t brave enough to do it themselves or alone. Most of the time you will be pressured to do something to see if you get caught or like it before they try it. They are weasels.
5. They have guilt they want others to share. The weasels have a guilty conscience and don’t want to be the only one. They will try to get others to be just as bad, to point out their failure and to go down together instead of alone.
Joseph is going to face to pretty stiff temptations, how will he handle them? Like all the other boys would, like his brothers would? Like God would have him too?
I. The Setting
Gen. 39:1-6a.
Background, In pit, because brothers wanted to kill him but instead decided to sell him. Joseph sold by brothers to Ishmaelites, who were? His great uncles descendents. They take him to Egypt and sell him as a slave to a man named Potiphar, the captain of the guard.
Potiphar, gets bad rap sometimes, not a bad guy, he notices,
The Lord was with Joseph,v. 3 – can others notice that?
He made Joseph in charge, v.4
He had total trust in Joseph, v. 5 Didn’t take long to establish trust or credibility.
Extra thought: Can you imagine being Joseph? Sold as a slave by your own brothers, then living in such a way so that others trust you?
II. The Showdown
Gen. 39:6b-7
Joseph, good looking. V.6
Wife, cast “longing eyes” says, Lie with me.” V. 7 What is this woman like? You already have her pictured don’t you?
She desires to have a sinful relationship with Joseph. This is wrong and she knows it. How can we know?
She doesn’t do it in front of her husband. If your friends can’t ask you to do something in front of your parents, it is dangerous.
Joseph can give in and sleep with this woman if wanted to, lonely, good looking young man. Could justify it by needing some love and attention after what his brothers did. No way, wrong is always wrong no matter what.
That is a big lesson in dealing with peer pressure. Wrong is always wrong no matter how many other people have done it or are urging you to.
What would others say?
Everyone else is doing it.
Acceptance
If you don’t do it then you won’t be accepted. We all want to be with the in crowd. We all want everyone to like us so we do things to get their approval.
Brother set up a club, to be in the club you had to jump off a house. All the other kids did it.
You know you want to.
Desire
They will appeal to your flesh. The devil knows just how to tempt you. He may not send a woman to tempt you with, he may send an idiot by for you to be tempted to yell at, or say the wrong thing. You have some desires within you to do somethings and you will be challenged and pressured to fulfill those lusts.
It’s no big deal.
Guilt
People will always try and downplay sin. It’s not so bad, no problem, you’ll get over it.
You’re a big chicken.
Weak
This is what many give in to, to prove they are a man or a woman. How many have taken that first drink, or smoke, or dope because someone said, “You’re scared.” You said, “I am not watch this.” And did something you didn’t want to because you were being called a chicken or weak.
Joseph doesn’t give in, he shows us how to have . . .
III. The Strength to Stand
Strength to Decide
Gen. 39:8
You have a decision to make, you are being trusted with something. Your life. Joseph was trusted with watching over his master’s stuff. God gives you the ability to make decisions over your life. Can you handle making decisions? Many can’t, they give in to every pressure that comes.
Do you have the strength to stand and decide or will you fall?
Strength to Honor
Gen. 39:9
This was his boss’s wife. Even if all the other circumstances were different, he could not do this because he was going to honor his boss.
Your choices matter and affect others, you honor your parents with your words and actions. And no one, no friend you just met five minutes ago ought to be able to get you to do something wrong that will harm and dishonor others.
Strength to Do Right
Gen. 39:9-10
This is the biggest single reason, it was a sin against God. More than anything else, it was wrong and nothing could make Joseph go against his God.
No matter how much he could have hated others, his father, brothers, boss this was wrong to his God. Before you give in to hurt someone else, or to please yourself realize you must have the strength to do right.
If you find yourself giving into pressure to sin, that means others have a greater influence on you than God does.
God loves you and wants what is best for you, can you give him your obedience to do right no matter who says what, no matter who does what and no matter what the consequences.
We need to be willing to do right even if we end up getting hurt.
Gen. 39:11-19
IV. The Cost
Gen. 39:20-21
For doing the right thing Joseph is sent to prison. He is lied about, he is accused and wrongly punished.
I give you a hard story today. I urge you to do right, why? So I can get sent to prison too? No thank you. There are some things that happen if you do right, notice.
Loneliness You will lose some friends if you don’t give in and follow them. Realize what kind of people put pressure on you to do things.
If you go down to a fish market and look into a crab barrel you will notice that they never have to put a lid on it because if one crab starts to crawl out, the others will grab him and pull him back down. That is what peer pressure is and does, it pulls you down. You must fight against it and be strong.
You will be better off right away if you are not around people that get you into trouble. God will fill your loneliness if you make a choice for Him, He will quickly replace those that leave you alone.
Reputation You’re gonna get a reputation. For being willing to do right, for standing strong, for being good.
Purity If you don’t give in your life can remain pure. Most sin failures early in life have peer pressure tied to them. You can keep a pure life, you never have to experience the pain, the guilt, the shame of having a sinful life.
Strength You will begin to have strength to stand up to people and pressure.
Maturity Your wisdom will begin to grow if you will choose God’s way.
Blessing God will bless a life that His, that lives His way, that honors Him and chooses Him over your peers.
Notice, God is looking for some people to take a stand for Him today. Would you rather have a life that is filled with disappointment and failure and guilt or one that has a reputation, purity, strength, maturity and blessing. I pray that I would rather live for those things than blow them in a single decision.
Story of Billy Dittis. Bad home, came to church. Knew right from wrong, quiet, meek, never hurt anyone. Had to handle murder, found Billy was in area with another guy. Story was, Billy convicted of murder, friend of burglary. Billy was talked into killing in a matter of minutes because he had no strength.
Some of you are struggling with some issues and you keep falling. Others can get you to do things you know are not right. You can choose, either make a change for God and live for Him or live a broken life?
How would you like your story told? Close
Survivor
When the Tribe Makes Bad Choices
Peer Pressure: When others exert their _____________
on you to make a ________________.
The Myths of Peer Pressure
1. It only affects the ________________.
2. You will become _________________ and immune.
3. You will fit in and be ________________ if you give in.
4. It can’t be that __________ if everyone else is doing it.
5. We think we can handle it ________________.
The Facts of Peer Pressure
1. They never ______________ about the ________________ or consequences.
2. They only think about _________________.
3. They generally focus on __________________.
4. They urge you to take action they _______________ or won’t _________________.
5. They have ______________ they want others to share.
I. The ___________________
Gen. 39:1-6a.
II. The __________________
Gen. 39:6b-7
What would others say?
Everyone else is doing it.
__________________
You know you want to.
__________________
It’s no big deal.
__________________
You’re a big chicken.
__________________
III. The Strength to ________________
Strength to ____________
Gen. 39:8
Strength to ____________
Gen. 39:9
Strength to ____________
Gen. 39:9-10
Gen. 39:11-19
IV. The __________________
Gen. 39:20-21
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________________
________________
________________
________________
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