To experience great loss is difficult enough. To experience that loss in a far country, with few who understand, few who are close, is even more difficult. And when that loss means that those who depend on you will need you even more, yet the resources to help them will be scarce – that is truly a burden. That is truly a moment of immense difficulty. Our hearts go out to Grace, not only for her loss, but also for all that lies ahead for her; and to Hannah and Benson, who so much want to be all that they need to be for their mom now; and of course to little Mfon, who I know down in her infant heart senses her loss even though she cannot put words to it. Your loss is great. Your burdens are many. And your future looks heavy. We know that. But God is good, and God will provide. He will make a way where there is no way, He will open up a path where now there seem only to be obstacles, He will be a father to the fatherless and a friend to the friendless. Our God will be with you, and so will God’s people.
Many years ago there was a woman who faced much of what you face. Her heart was weighed down. Her mind reeled from all that had happened to her. Her imagination staggered at the thought of all the responsibilities that were to come her way. This woman, this bereaved and suffering wife and mother, found some things, that helped her. I pray that her example will help you today.
Ruth 1:1-3: In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land, and a certain man of Bethlehem in Judah went to live in the country of Moab, he and his wife and two sons. The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion; they were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They went into the country of Moab and remained there. But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons.
Painful and difficult circumstances. A situation that tugs at your heart over all these centuries. A man dies, unexpectedly, his wife and his children are left alone. And in a far country as well, in a place where things are different, customs are not quite the same, a place where there is no family around and where others, however well intentioned, may not understand. We feel for Naomi and for her loss; we know that she had many serious decisions to make. Who can blame Naomi for weeping? Who can criticize Naomi for believing that the hand of the Lord had turned against her? Who cannot understand that, after a while, Naomi just had to do something about her situation. She could not forever linger in sorrow; the time came when Naomi had to take steps to go beyond her loss. Naomi found a path that led to wings of refuge. Naomi found a path to the protection of God Himself and of the people of God.
I
Let’s trace her steps. Let’s discover from Naomi some spiritual riches, just for you.
A
First, notice that Naomi trusted that there would be help among God’s people. Naomi understood that, despite her loss, she was not alone. There were those who would understand, there would those who would care. Naomi remembered that among the people of God, there was love, acceptance, help, a refuge. And so Naomi, recognizing her limits, understanding the weight of her responsibilities, reached out to ask for help, and it came. She trusted the people of God with her need, and they responded. They gave her refuge.
There is great hope in that. I know that you have seen that already. Caring people have come to your apartment. They have brought food, they have cared for your children, they have taken care of arrangements for you, they have worked on your behalf. They have been the wings of refuge for you.
Maybe you are afraid that after the service today, it will all stop, and you will be on your own. But it will not stop. It must not stop. It cannot stop. I encourage you to trust the people of God. The wings of refuge will be spread for you for many days to come.
For is it not true that we have come together today not only to say farewell to Ekerete, not only to speak words of praise for this servant of God, this man of dignity, this loving father? Is it not true that we have come together not only to pray with Grace and the children and for them? We have also come together to witness to our ongoing concern for them. We have come to provide evidence for our continuing commitment to be there for them. As Naomi in the Scriptures knew there was a people on whom she could depend and to whom she should go, so also I would hope and pray, Grace, that you would turn to those around you today. Turn to your friends for help and counsel. Turn to your church for strength and prayer. Turn to us when the sorrows are deep and you think you cannot go on; we will respond. Turn to us when the responsibilities are too many, and we will work. Turn to the people of God, as Naomi did, and there you will find a home and will be protected under the wings of refuge.
B
There is something else Naomi did that, I believe, will help you. Naomi understood, in the midst of her own grief, that others grieve too, in their own way, and must be freed to do what they must do. When we have suffered a loss, it’s very tempting to try to command others to do what we think they ought to do; it’s one way we can make our world a little more secure, after it has been shaken. But Naomi understood that sometimes you have to let others be who they are, sometimes you have to let children be children, and work it out in their own way. For God, who is the wings of refuge for all of His children, is able to love each one and care for each one in the ways they need.
For Naomi, on her way back to her people, there came a fork in the road. There she said to her two daughters-in-law, “Turn back, my children, go your own way.” She freed them to be who they needed to be and to grieve as they needed to grieve. One of them, Orpah, went one way with her sorrow; and the other, Ruth, went another way. But to each was given the freedom to receive the gifts of God, each in her own way.
Grace, we have seen already your wisdom. We know how you care for Hannah and for Benson, how you love each of them and let them feel what they have to feel. We have seen how you have helped them to go on with whatever they need in their young lives. Hannah was here in worship this past Sunday, and wrote on her attendance card that she needed help with being strong to keep on going and to help her mom. Hannah, thank you for saying that. And we will help you do those things. Benson was here for Scouts on Thursday; Benson wants to be the man of the house and to learn what it is to be a leader. Benson, you’ll have some men who will help you and show you. You won’t have to figure this out all by yourself. You will be able not only to remember what kind of Dad you had, but you will be able to see what other good men do, and you can follow that.
I praise God for your wisdom, Grace, in letting these children be themselves and do now what they have to do, each in his or her own way, to move on from here. You are letting them be real persons, and you are trusting that God, in His infinite mercy, will be the wings of refuge for them as well as for you.
II
The wings of refuge. Today God, like a mother hen, is spreading the wings of refuge wide, so that all who need shelter may find it under them. Like the many birds of Gashaka, like the glorious creatures of Yankari, which protect their chicks until they can fly, so the Lord hovers over us, covering us until we can fly.
A
You must know today that the wings of refuge are spread over Ekerete Akpaete, husband and father. He is where there is no more sickness, no more pain, no more sighing or weeping. He is under the gentlest and yet the strongest of wings. What an image we shall always have – a heartbreaking and yet such a beautiful image – that as he died, his arms and the arms of his infant daughter were intertwined. What a beautiful image – to know that even in death he was Daddy, doing what daddies do, holding their children from hurt and harm. But to know that the tiny, tender arms of his little daughter held him, and that the last human touch he had was from the purity and the innocence of this little one. God’s wings of refuge; after all, it wouldn’t be the first time that God had reached out to a hurting world using the arms of an infant. I think that started with the babe of Bethlehem. The wings of refuge are spread over Ekerete Akpaete, husband and father.
B
You must also know today that the wings of refuge are spread over Ekerete Akpaete, man of the world. Because of the way the world is – broken, divided, in conflict – he was not always free to go home. Home had to be portable. Home was wherever he could settle his family and do his work and get on with his life. Home no longer had a fixed address. He was not quite a refugee, as we normally use the word, but he was in a kind of exile. The homeland was not as welcoming as he would have liked, so he found refuge, made refuge, in this land. But know today that the wings of refuge are spread of Ekerete Akpaete, man of the world, for he is in a homeland prepared for him and for all who love Christ. He is in a place where every tribe and nation gather around the throne, and each in his language, each with her own accents, sing the praise of the Creator. For all his wanderings, he is at home. For all his desire to be among the people and the scenes of his boyhood land, now he is in a mansion prepared for him, eternally at home. Eternally in his native land. Eternally under the wings of refuge.
C
And you must know, finally, that the wings of refuge are spread for Ekerete Akpaete, man of God. He trusted Christ for his salvation; raised in a home where the Lord’s name was honored, he gave his life and his heart to Christ. To the things of the Lord he devoted himself. To a life of prayer, to a heart of faith, to a family entrusted to him, to a church, to his work, to all things honorable and noble and pure he gave himself.
And God is faithful; God is able to give to those who trust him all good things. Our Christ has promised that where He is, we may be also. Our Christ has promised that He goes to prepare for us. Our Christ has come that we might have life and life abundant. Our Christ has been given so that whosoever believes on Him, shall not perish, but shall have eternal life. Please know, as sure as the world stands, as certain as the sun and the moon and the stars in their courses, that the wings of refuge, salvation, is given to Ekerete Akpaete, man of God.
What more need we say than what Boaz said, after Naomi and her daughter-in-law had settled among God’s people?
“May the LORD reward you for your deeds, and may you have a full reward from the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge!"
