HOW TO BEHAVE IN CHURCH
I Thessalonians 5:12-15
INTRO.- ILL.- A young mother went to her doctor for an appointment. She took her little five-year-old son with her and made no attempt to restrain him from ransacking an adjoining room. Finally, after hearing a bunch of bottles being rattled, she said to the doctor, “Doctor, I hope you don’t mind little Johnny being in the next room.”
The doctor replied, “No, it’s okay. He’ll be quiet when he gets to the poisons.”
I know. What a story! That doctor did not sign the Hippocratic oath, did he?
But the point I want to make is this: That little boy’s behavior was bad. And, of course, any mother who would allow such behavior is not performing her motherly duties either.
Some little children behave badly!
ILL.- Some years ago I was in a grocery store and happened to run into one of our young mothers who had several of her children with her. Her little boy Joseph was sitting in the shopping cart. I don’t remember how old he was, but I leaned down and said, “Hi Joseph!” I was merely trying to pay attention to the little boy and demonstrate love.
And suddenly he took a swing at me and knocked my glasses down the aisle. His mother promptly said, “Now Joseph!” And I thought to myself, “If he had been my kid I would have ‘now Josephed’ him really good!”
His behavior was bad! But it wasn’t his fault. His mom and dad hadn’t attended to his training as much as they should have. Bad behavior in children comes as a result of a lack of parental discipline. THAT’S JUST PLAIN BIBLICAL FACT.
Proverbs 13:24 “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful (and I might add, quick) to discipline him.”
Proverbs 22:15 “Folly (or foolishness) is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”
ILL.- A long time ago when I was in the 5th grade at Eugene Field Elementary School in Webb City, MO, a boy got into an argument with our teacher, Mrs. Bull. AND YOU DIDN’T WANT TO MESS WITH THE BULL, MRS. BULL, that is. I don’t remember what Clarence Ward said to Mrs. Bull that ticked her off, but in just a short while he was out of his chair and she was chasing him around the room. The rest of us students were laughing our heads off. As Mrs. Bull was chasing Clarence, occasionally he would turn around and hit at her with his coat, thinking that would keep her away. BUT IT DIDN’T.
I don’t remember what Clarence got after the chase ended, but I know it wasn’t good. HIS BEHAVIOR WAS BAD IN SCHOOL. Somebody did something wrong, or else they did very little to train that boy.
ILL.- A guy lost his job and the word spread quickly about it. A friend asked, “Why did you get fired from your job?” “Well,” he said, “You know what a foreman does. He’s the guy who stands around and watches everyone work.”
“What’s that got to do with it?” his friend asked. “Well, the foreman got jealous of me and fired me. EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS THE FOREMAN.”
Brethren, standing around on the job is bad behavior! IT’S A MATTER OF NOT WORKING.
Of course, I’ve seen worse behavior than that in the working world and you have too.
ILL.- While working as the Asst. Manager at the Silk Tree Factory in Cape Girardeau, MO, the company sent us several young men as “trainees.” These young fellows were supposed to train at our store to become assistant managers in other stores.
One young man came from the retail business. In fact, he had already worked for Wal-Mart and Hobby Lobby. I knew that something wasn’t kosher with him, because he was always “knocking” those other stores from the minute he walked into our store.
One day the personnel manager of the company showed up at our store and he asked me to take this one young man and show him how to fill insurance papers and so on. We went to the breakroom and I proceeded to show him how to fill out the papers. He threw the papers at me and said, “I don’t want to do this! Besides I already know how to do it!”
So I just walked out of the room and went about my business. Sometime later my manager came to me and said, “The personnel manager wants to know why that trainee doesn’t know how to fill out insurance papers. He wants to know why you didn’t teach him how.”
I said, “I tried but he didn’t want to be taught.” And then I told the manager what the young man said and did.
Brethren, that young man was exhibiting bad behavior. He didn’t want to learn. He thought he knew everything already. He was something of a smart alec. AND GUESS WHAT? He is no longer with that company. We all are in the process of learning! We never stop learning throughout our entire lifetime. IF WE DO, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH US!
Bad behavior is not a good thing! It is not good in the world nor in the Lord’s church! Now who in the world would ever exhibit bad behavior in the church? Believe me, some people do.
ILL.- I know of a preacher who used to preach in a small town in central Missouri. He prided himself on being the president of the local ministerial alliance association. One time the ministerial alliance sponsored some kind of area community church function and no one from his church showed up at the event. He was rather upset since he was the president of the ministerial alliance. The next Sunday at his church he would not come out of his office during the Sunday School hour. During the morning worship service, he refused to take communion with the rest of the church. Then, sometime during the service he chewed out his people for not attending that all-church function.
Brethren, that brother preacher exhibited bad behavior in the church! And that wasn’t the first time nor the last time he did it.
And I know of other instances of bad behavior in the Lord’s church, which are not good. I could give you plenty of examples.
I Timothy 3:15 Paul said, “If I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God.”
KJV reads, “But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God...”
Brethren, all of us need to learn to behave properly in the house of God, which is the church!
PROP.- In our text, I Thess. 5:12-15, Paul discusses how to behave in the church in two areas:
1- Proper behavior toward leaders
2- Proper behavior toward one another
I. PROPER BEHAVIOR TOWARD LEADERS
How should we behave toward our church leaders? That is, toward our preachers, elders, deacons, Sunday School teachers, trustees, etc. There is a right way and a wrong way to behave in the Lord’s church and toward His leaders. We should: respect them, love them, and live in peace with them.
V. 12 “Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you.”
ILL.- When I preached in Iberia, Mo, we had a preacher in town who served the Congregational Christian Church. He appeared to be a nice old gentleman, but one thing was very clear about him. He demanded respect from people. He wanted to be called “The Right Reverend Mr. Brown.”
He apparently loved that distinction, that form of separation from the lesser brethren, and the praise of it all! Personally, I just called him, “Earl.” Don’t know if he liked it or not.
In Palm 111:9 in the old King James Version is reads, “Holy and reverend is his name.” And the verse is talking about God!
A preacher/pastor/minister may deserve a certain amount of respect, but I don’t think he deserves the respect that God should receive! I prefer not to be called “Reverend,” or even Pastor Steve. Just Steve is fine. Shep is even ok with me.
ILL.- I knew of an elder in the Fairview Christian Church of Carthage, MO, where I was ordained. His name was Jim Still. And Jim was a very good elder. And many people in the church liked Jim and called him “Brother Jim.” But “Brother Jim” didn’t care much for that title of distinction. He would say, “Just call me Jim. That’s what my mother named me.”
Brethren, I don’t think anyone needs to bow down before any preacher, pastor, elder, or any other church leader, for that matter. IF ANYTHING, WE LEADERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SERVANTS AMONG A SERVING BROTHERHOOD OF LOVE!
But certainly some respect is warranted.
ILL.- When I was a student at Ozark Christian College in the 1960’s I respected my college professors. I KNEW THEY WERE MEN OF GOD. Men called by God to serve, to preach, to teach. I knew they were men of the Word and I respected them very much.
And there are times when that kind of respect is missing in our midst today and in our churches.
ILL.- When I was preaching in a small church in Iowa some years ago, I got chewed out at the door by a lady who simply did not like an announcement I made about a preacher who was coming to preach our revival. I simply said that he was old farm boy that everybody loved and he would do a great job of preaching. Well, for some reason or another she took offense at me saying something about him being an “old farm boy.” And she let me know about it in no uncertain terms at the door when she was leaving.
Brethren, what she did was totally uncalled for and completely disrespectful. If she had a problem with what I said she should have come to me privately and talked to me about it. BUT NO, INSTEAD SHE WANTED TO MAKE A SCENE ABOUT IT.
A certain amount of respect is needed when it comes to any person and those who serve the Lord as leaders. The most important way, however, to behave toward a church leader is probably to love them.
V. 13 “Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work.”
Brothers and sisters, you don’t have to fall down at my feet, nor kiss my ring. BUT I WOULD SURE LIKE FOR YOU TO LOVE ME!
ILL.- It’s probably a month or so ago, I preached a sermon about building the church, building you. As you folks were passing out of the building, I noticed Rick Boyer standing over to one side. I was sure that he had some kind of problem because of the look on his face. HE’S A PROBLEM-CHILD ANYWAY. That’s what his mother told me one time.
Well, after everyone had left Rick walked up to me and said, “I just want you to know that I love you.” And then he gave me a big hug! And that was nice, very nice.
Brethren, I must say that I have been loved by you. Of course, some of you more than others! And I do appreciate your love. And it’s this kind of love that we need to demonstrate toward all church leaders.
Being a church leaders is not a prime-time job. Nor does it come with top-notch pay. But those who serve as elders, deacons, trustees, teachers, etc. and serve as best they can, deserve our love and respect. AND WE NEED TO GIVE IT TO THEM!
How? In the form of: saying thank you, sending thank you notes and cards, warm handshakes, hugs, bear hugs, big bear hugs, snackies, and so on.
I Thessalonians 5:13 also says, “Live in peace with each other.”
This is how we must behave toward our church leaders. We must live in peace with them. We must work at this peace business, instead of working to tear it down. We must on the “construction” crew and not the “destruction” crew.
ILL.- While preaching in Iowa years ago one of our board members came to me and said, “Steve, we need to change the Sunday night service from 7 p.m. to 6 p.m. There are people who need to do things and need to get out of church earlier on Sunday night.”
I said, “Well, I’ll have to ask the board about this.” And he replied, “I AM THE BOARD!” And the next day he changed the time of our Sunday night service on our church sign in front of the building.
Brethren, that board member was something of an agitator in that church. Basically, he was selfish and wanted his way. And it’s very hard to be at peace with somebody like that. BUT WE MUST TRY THE BEST WE CAN.
II Timothy 2:24 “And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone...”
James 1:19-20 “My dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
Instead of fighting, arguing, bickering, criticizing, etc. let us work at behaving properly toward our leaders and toward all in the church. IF ANYBODY OUGHT TO BEHAVE PROPERLY, IT SHOULD BE CHRISTIAN PEOPLE.
II. PROPER BEHAVIOR TOWARD ONE ANOTHER
We should be respectful of our leaders, love them and live in peace with them. But how should we treat one another in the church? How should we behave toward ordinary members of the church? Ordinary? NO ONE IS ORDINARY IN THE LORD’S CHURCH! And don’t ever forget that. Everyone is important because everyone is important in the Lord’s eyes!
I Thessalonians 5:14 “And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”
WE URGE, YOU, BROTHERS. Paul is saying that we all have a responsibility toward one another in the church. The church should never be a “let-George-do-it” operation or mentality.
That happens so often, but it is not right. We all are members of the body, the church. We all are gifted. We all have duties to perform and this is one responsibility we have. TO BEHAVE PROPERLY TOWARD ONE ANOTHER.
“Warn those who are idle.” Those who are idle are those who are idle. THEY DO NOTHING OR VERY LITTLE. They are like soldiers who are “out of rank.” Playing around. Not paying attention. Not doing what they’re supposed to be doing.
ILL.- I heard about an elderly lay who attended a revival one time at her church. The preacher preached about the evils of smoking, drinking, dancing and carousing. Really laid it on ‘em. When the invitation time came, the preacher called for the people to quit living in their sinful ways. It just so happened that little lady went forward and the preacher asked, “Why did you come forward?
This invitation is for people to quit doing evil things?” She said, “I AIN’T BEEN DOIN NOTHIN AND I’M A QUITTIN!”
Brethren, there is such a thing as “the sin of omission.” And that is found in James 4:17. It is the idea of failing to do the good we know we should do.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN DOIN NOTHIN TO SERVE THE LORD, THEN YOU NEED TO QUIT! You need to get involved in serving in some form or another.
Brethren, whenever you see someone who is idle, doing nothing, you need to go to them privately and say, “Shape up! Get with the program! Get involved! The Lord wants you to be a servant, so serve.”
No, perhaps you shouldn’t do it that way. But perhaps you should somehow warn the brother or sister about the importance of having an active faith. FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD.
ILL. - Commentator William Barclay says, “Warn the quitters.” I’ve seen some quitters in my time and you have too. And perhaps we should “warn the quitters.”
ILL.- Preacher Don Wortman from Salem, MO, held a revival for me one time. We went to call on a family that had basically quit the church. Don asked them, “Are you folks members of the church?” “Well, yes.” “Do you folks attend regularly?” “No, we don’t. We haven’t been to church for some time.” Then Don asked, “WELL, WHAT’S KEEPING YOU FROM COMING TO CHURCH?” He was rather blunt, but kind. And they offered no reason for not attending.
WARN THE QUITTERS.
ILL.- Brother Harold Miles was a retired minister in our church at Anna. He called on one of our non-attending members one time who said, “I’d like to live to a ripe old age.” And Brother Harold replied, “YOU’LL LIVE A LOT LONGER IF YOU COME BACK TO CHURCH!” Warn the quitters. Harold did that for sure.
Brethren, any time you see somebody drop out of the church, please, please make an effort to call them or call on them. Tell them that you have missed them. Try to find out what the problem is. And try to fix the problem, if at all possible. Don’t wait for “George to do it.”
V. 14 “Encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”
There will always be those in the church who are weak in the faith, shy, timid, backward, downcast as far as life is concerned. Lacking faith. Just can’t seem to get it together. They may seem to be “living in the pits.” And we need to do the best we can to “lift them out of the mire and into the choir.” Psalm 40.
People need help! They need encouragement! They need reassurance! And this is why God put us here: to help, heal, encourage, enliven, cheer and comfort.
ILL.- As some of you know, the Internet site called “sermon central” featured me last week. And they are now featuring some of my sermons this week. My only purpose in sending them my sermons is to help others. My message from Psalm 37 entitled “The Divine Prescription” is getting quite a bit of readers, much to my surprise and delight.
After reading the sermons, there is a question at the bottom of the page which reads: WAS THIS SERMON HELPFUL TO YOU? Yes or no. As of last Friday, 90 people had read that sermon, but only 83 found it helpful. lol Can’t win them all! I wonder if you could go to that site and vote “yes” for my sermon or perhaps all of them!
But this last week, I received the nicest email letter from an Hispanic preacher in California. Please listen to what he wrote:
ILL.- Dear Pastor Shepherd, Thank for responding to my e-mail. I minister in the East Los Angeles Area, in a neighborhood called El Sereno. We have a Spanish speaking congregation. Statistics tell us that we are surrounded by 24 known gangs. Life is rough for all of us here. We have to deal with drive-by shootings, break ins, and a lot of other social evils.
I preach mostly in Spanish and once in a while in "spanglish", a combination of both English and Spanish. Reading some of your sermons at SermonCentral.com lifted my spirit up. Thanks a lot for posting them. I have learned a lot from your posted messages. Your sermons are well illustrated, and your points hit home. Thanks again.
With the help of the search engine at SermonCentral, I was able to access all your available materials, but I still wanted more. That is why I e-mailed you to see if you had a personal or church Web page. I used several search engines to see if I could obtain your web page address, but nothing came on the monitor. I was blessed to come across your e-mail address through Altavista.com.
May God bless you, anoint you and use you for His glory. I will pray for you, your family and your ministry.
Sincerely,
Ruben C Casas
Brethren, I wouldn’t say that brother is weak or timid. In fact, his faith may be a lot stronger than ours, considering where he lives and the type of ministry he’s involved in.
BUT I FELT SO GOOD TO KNOW THAT I HAD ENCOURAGED HIM AND HELPED HIM THROUGH MY SERMONS!
Brothers and sisters, let us do whatever we can to encourage one another. To help one another. To be patient with one another.
ILL.- It’s like the minister who asked the little boy, “Sonny, who made you?” He replied, “To tell the
truth, I ain’t done yet!”
None of us are done yet. We’re all in the making. God is in the process of working on us and making us better than what we’d be without Him. SO LET’S BE PATIENT WITH ONE ANOTHER.
You be patient with me and I’ll be patient with you. And let’s all be patient with one another. THIS IS HOW TO BEHAVE IN THE LORD’S CHURCH.
CONCLUSION--------------------------------------------
ILL.- One time a cartoon appeared in a church paper. It showed a church board meeting taking place with this caption: “OUR BYLAWS STATE THAT THE WILL OF GOD CANNOT BE OVERTURNED WITHOUT A 2/3 MAJORITY VOTE.” What? There is no way that the will of God can be overturned by a 2/3 vote or even a 100% vote!
It’s sad to think that anybody would ever want to overturn the will of God as revealed in the Scriptures.
These words I have shared with you about how to behave in church are not helpful hints from Heloise! They are divinely inspired words from the very Word of God itself!
We need to always exhibit proper behavior in the church; toward our leaders and toward everyone else. And let us always cast our vote for the Word of God! The Word of God is always right! Let’s be doers of the Word and not hearers only!
