MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER
RIDGE CHAPEL, KANSAS, OK
(Revised: 2013)
If you were going to make a list of the great loving couples of history, who would be on your list? Romeo & Juliet? Anthony & Cleopatra?
Mary & Joseph would probably not be on your list, for when we think of them we don’t normally think of them in that way because the spotlight is on Jesus, where it should be.
But I think that if we examine the love of Mary & Joseph, we would realize it was a love that stands the test of time. The love they had for each other, coupled with the love they had for God, culminates in one of the greatest love stories ever told.
So this morning, I invite you to look at Christmas through the eyes of Joseph, & hear Joseph’s Christmas story. You’ll find it in Matthew 1, beginning in vs. 18.
PROP. There are 4 parts to the story, & in each part you will see how much Joseph loved Mary.
I. HAPPY EXPECTATIONS
The first part of Joseph’s story is one of happy expectations. Vs. 18 begins with these words, "This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph . . ."
A. Now we need to understand that a Jewish marriage consisted of 3 stages. The first stage is the engagement. Usually that was arranged by their parents. Two sets of parents would get together & talk things over.
One would say to the other, "We would like to have your daughter marry our son." Her parents would reply, "That sounds like a good idea. Let’s discuss it." And these two sets of parents would arrange the engagement without the young people even being involved.
ILL. One example of that in the O.T. was when Abraham sent his servant to his home country to find a wife for his son, Isaac. The servant found Rebekah & brought her back. Isaac had never seen her before. Then she became his wife.
ILL. Most preachers see young people in love, wanting to get married, with stars in their eyes. They’re caught up in the emotions of romance, making decisions that will affect them all the rest of their lives.
SUM. The Jews felt that young people did not possess the wisdom to make that kind of a decision, so the parents made the decision for them.
B. The second stage of a Jewish marriage was called "Betrothal." During this time the young couple agreed to the marriage, signed a legal document, & were considered "husband & wife." But they didn’t live together yet.
It was a time of building a relationship, of coming to know one another. It was a time of the groom preparing the place where they would live - a time of planning & dreaming & happy expectations. This time of betrothal usually lasted about a year.
Notice that Matthew says, "…before they came together..." There were no sexual relations during this time. Joseph loved Mary so much that he did not take advantage of her.
APPL. Now this needs to be said to young people today. If someone is pressuring you, saying, "If you really love me, prove it by giving yourself to me," then you say, "If you really love me, you’ll wait, because I’m going to save myself for the one I marry. If you’re not willing to wait, then you’re not the one."
Some may say that is unrealistic, but I don’t agree. Marriages built upon lust are insecure, because if you can lust after one person, you can lust after another. But marriages built upon love exhibit trust & commitment & faithfulness.
ILL. Paul Harvey told about an airline stewardess who was being harassed by a slightly inebriated man up in the first class section who was making passes at her, & trying to get her to agree to meet him in his hotel suite that night.
With some difficulty she got away from him, only to encounter another man at the rear of the plane acting the same way, trying to find out where she was staying, & making suggestive proposals to her about that night.
At last, the pilot announced that they were making their final approach for landing. Once again the guy in front offered her a key to his hotel suite & begged her to meet him there. To his obvious delight, she smiled at him & accepted his key, placing it securely in the pocket of her apron.
Then she worked her way back towards the rear of the plane. When she got there she took the key out of her pocket & with a big smile handed it to the other guy & said, "Now don’t be late."
SUM. The Bible tells us that Mary & Joseph saved themselves for one another until after they were married. At this stage in Joseph’s story they were considered husband & wife, but they weren’t married yet, they were betrothed.
II. TERRIBLE DISAPPOINTMENT
A. Now the second part in Joseph’s story is one of terrible disappointment, for vs. 18 goes on to say, "But before they came together, she was found to be with child..."
Here is a time of shock & disappointment. The Bible doesn’t tell us when Joseph was told, or who told him. Maybe Mary told him.
Maybe she said something like, "Joseph, I have the most wonderful news. I’m going to have a baby, & not just any baby. This is the Messiah, the one our people have been waiting for so many years. An angel told me this."
"I asked the angel, ‘How can this possibly be because I have never slept with a man?’ The angel said, ‘That which is conceived in you is of the Holy Spirit.’ It’s a miracle, Joseph. Isn’t it wonderful? Aren’t you happy?"
But Joseph wasn’t happy. How could he believe such a story? And Joseph must have felt that Mary had betrayed him.
ILL. Country Western singers have made a fortune off of jilted lovers. Eddie Arnold’s biggest hit was, "Make the World Go Away." He sang, "Take the world off my shoulders. Make the world go away." That was a song of a jilted lover.
Eddie Arnold had another song that never made the big time, but it was pretty good. He sang, "My pain comes & goes. It comes in the morning & it goes all night long." It’s not a laughing matter. Jilted lovers do experience deep hurt.
B. Joseph felt himself to be a jilted lover. He felt that the love of his life had been unfaithful to him. But notice, even in this stage of his disappointment, Joseph still loved Mary.
Vs. 19 says, "Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man & did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly."
The law said that Joseph could have taken her to the city gate & the people there would have taken rocks & stoned her to death. Then Joseph’s name would have been cleansed & his reputation restored.
But Joseph decided not to do that. He decided not to disgrace her, but rather to divorce her quietly so that she could start her life over again. And he could start his life over again as well.
APPL. I wonder? How do we respond to each other in our marriages? Are you ever disappointed? Do you respond with verbal or physical abuse? Unfortunately, that happens often today, & it is inexcusable.
Or do you respond by sulking, deciding to deprive the other person of your attention? That’s childish. It takes a real love to overlook some faults, to forgive & to forget, & to keep the marriage strong.
I think that Joseph demonstrated a great love for Mary by being willing “to divorce her quietly.”
In fact, the apostle Paul kind of said that in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, "Love is patient, & love is kind. Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude. It is not self seeking, it is not easily angered.
“It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but it rejoices in the truth. It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. And it always perseveres."
SUM. So as we look at Joseph’s story, we see happy expectations, & we see terrible disappointment.
III. JOYFUL REALIZATION
A. But as you know, the story doesn’t end with the divorce of Joseph & Mary, for following Joseph’s terrible disappointment was a time of joyful realization. Listen as I read Matthew 1:20-23,
"After he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream & said, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.
‘She will give birth to a son, & you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.’
"All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: ‘The virgin will be with child & will give birth to a son, & they will call him Immanuel which means, ‘God with us.’"
What a thrill that must have been to Joseph! An angel of God, a heavenly messenger, suddenly appears in a dream & tells him, "Mary is not lying to you. She has not been unfaithful. In fact, that which has happened in her is the fulfillment of God’s promise to save His people from their sins."
B. For over 1,000 years the Jews had been waiting for the Messiah to come. Over 300 times God had directed the prophets to prophesy concerning Him. And the result was that the O.T. prophets had predicted almost every stage of the life of Jesus hundreds of years before it happened.
They predicted that He would be born of a virgin, that He would be born in Bethlehem & come out of Egypt, that He would grow up in Nazareth, that He would be betrayed for 30 pieces of silver, that He would be crucified, that He would be buried in a borrowed tomb, & that He would arise from the dead.
To have more than 300 prophecies fulfilled so literally cannot be mere coincidence. They were fulfilled because they are the prophecies of God, & God’s prophecies are always true.
SUM. So when the angel appeared to Joseph, & said, "Don’t be afraid, because all of this is true," his disappointment turned to joy, because he loved Mary very much.
IV. OBEDIENCE TO GOD
Finally, the last part of Joseph’s story is a story of his obedience to God. Listen to vs’s 24 & 25, "When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him & took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus."
Now they were husband & wife, living together, sharing the home that Joseph had prepared for them. Joseph’s doubts had all been swept away, & he looked forward with anticipation to the birth of Jesus, Mary’s son, the long awaited Messiah.
A. But it wasn’t long until he discovered that there are hardships & sacrifices that came about because of their marriage.
1. The first was their embarrassment. Mary & Joseph were living in the little town of Nazareth, with lots of busybodies watching them. Mary is 7 months pregnant, & they’ve only been married 2 or 3 months. Think of the embarrassment.
Maybe at first Joseph tried to explain, "The baby is of the Holy Spirit. An angel told me." "Sure, Joseph. We know all about those things. We believe every word of what you’re telling us."
Maybe after a while Joseph even stops trying to explain. And after they went to Bethlehem, & then Egypt, Joseph probably didn’t even want to go back to Nazareth. But God led him back to that town of innuendoes & gossip. "Whose son is this? Who is his father, really?"
Gossip & embarrassment that was a part of the price they paid for their love for each other & for their God.
2. A second hardship must have been a sense of frustration on Joseph’s part, for the Bible says that “he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son.” Here is this beautiful woman who is his wife, & there is no sexual relationship between them. He loves her, & he waits for the son to be born.
3. Think also about the inconveniences. Every woman who has gone through pregnancy knows that pregnancy is not an easy time. It is a time of discomfort, of testing & trial.
It must have been that way for Joseph & Mary, too, as they went through all the experiences of pregnancy together.
4. It was also a time of physical stress for them. They had to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem for the census a distance of 80 miles. They didn’t travel in an air conditioned bus back then. They walked.
And when they didn’t walk Mary may have ridden on a donkey. That’s not comfortable even if you’re not pregnant. And Mary was 9 months pregnant, about ready to deliver her child.
Finally, they reach Bethlehem. And when they go to the inn, they hear the words, "There is no room in the inn."
ILL. John Simmons tells about a grade school class that was putting on a Christmas play which included the story of Mary & Joseph coming to the inn. In that class was one little boy who wanted so very much to be Joseph.
But when the parts were handed out, his biggest rival was given that part, & he was assigned to be the inn keeper instead. He was really bitter about this. So during all the rehearsals he kept plotting what he might do the night of performance to get even with his rival who was Joseph.
Finally, it was the night of the performance, & Mary & Joseph came walking across the stage. They knocked on the door of the inn, & the inn keeper opened the door & asked them gruffly what they wanted.
Joseph answered, "We’d like to have a room for the night." Suddenly the inn keeper threw the door open wide & said, "Great, come on in & I’ll give you the best room in the house."
For a few seconds poor little Joseph didn’t know what to do, & a long silence ensued. Finally though, thinking quickly, Joseph looked in to the left & to the right past the inn keeper & said, "No wife of mine is going to stay in a dump like this. Come on, Mary, let’s go to the barn." And once again the play was back on course.
B. I’m convinced that Joseph cared for Mary very deeply. Yet, on that night long ago, there was much that he was unable to give her. So they ended up in a stable. If you’ve ever spent time in a barn you know a little bit of the circumstances they faced that night when the baby Jesus was born.
Cries of labor pains & there is no one there to help but Joseph. He mops her brow & tries to speak words of comfort. He hadn’t taken a course on how to coach your wife through pregnancy & delivery. But he tries to help her any way he can.
Finally, the little baby is born. He cuts the umbilical cord, & wraps the baby in swaddling clothes, & lays Him in a manger. He goes over & speaks words of love to his wife. He’s tired & weary, as is Mary.
They have traveled all this long distance. Their muscles are sore. Their minds are tired. At last they can rest, & he leans back on the straw.
But there are strange sounds outside. People are coming. He opens the door & sees shepherds. They’ve come to worship. Angels told them that the Savior is born! The story is true. Thank God, the story is true!
CONCL. Joseph tells us his story this morning that we might know a little bit of what he went through, & the love he had for Mary, & how their love reveals the greatest love story of all, the story of Christmas.
INVITATION: This morning, if you’re not a Christian, we want you to know that into this cold & dark world Jesus came as a baby. He came to touch our lives & to change us forever. He came to save us from our sins & rescue us from the pit of darkness. He came to love us & show us a better way to live.
That is what Christmas is all about. It is so much more than just lights & presents & parties. It is divine love visiting our earth, reaching out to each of us, seeking to show us the love of God.
If you are here this morning & Jesus Christ is not your Savior, we invite you to come to Him now as we stand & as we sing.
