WATCH YOUR WORDS
Grow Up Rather Than Give Up Part 8
JAMES 3:1-12
All of us here know the saying, " STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME. " I am here to tell you that is not true. Words do hurt. Broken bones will heal over a period of time. Sometime we never recover from the crushing words spoken to us by others. I know people right now that are living in defeat and depression because of the words that were spoken to them when they were growing up. I know people that believe that they are worthless, no good, and will never amount to anything because that is what they were told growing up as a child. They are still suffering from the verbal abuse that they received as a child.
There is a story of a woman in an Indian village who maliciously gossiped about another lady and her family in the village. One day she found out that she was wrong about this lady and her family and had a change of heart. She went to the village’s wise man and asked how she could take back all the wrong she had done. The wise man told her to go home and kill her chickens and pluck there feathers and put them into a bag. After this she was to go back and see the wise man again, but on her way back she was to scatter all the feathers she had plucked from the chickens.
The lady did as she was told. When she got back to the man, he told her, " now go back and pick up all the feathers that you have scattered. " The woman was astonished at such a command and said, " By now the wind has carried the feathers through out the village and beyond." The wise man then told Her, And so it is with your careless words. They are like the feathers scattered in the wind. You can not retrieve them. " With that the woman with a broken heart because of the words she had spoken went her way, determined from that day forward to Watch her words.
The words we speak effect the world around us. What we say, and how we communicate with each other has lasting results. The words we speak can give life, hope, and love. Or, they can bring death, division, and destruction. Proverbs 18:21 Death and Life are in the power of the tongue. Once the word is gone forth from your mouth It is to late. I believe that is why James say’s That we are to be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. In other words engage your mind before you engage your mouth. By all means don’t let what you say be the result of anger. When we are angry we say things we know that we shouldn’t say and latrer regret what we say. Warning: Watch Your Words. The tongue is in a wet place and it can easily slip. Matthew 12: 36-37 That every idle ( careless ) word that men shall speak, they shall give an account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
The taming of the tongue and a careful watch over our speech is so important that the bible gives instructions concerning what comes out of our mouths. James has already told us that a mature Christian is, (1) Patient in times of troubles. (2) and Practices the Truth. Now James is telling us that a mature Christian Has Power over The Tounge. James 3:2 For if any man offend not in word, The same is a perfect ( mature ) man. You can measure the maturity of a Christian by the content of their speech. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I pur away childish things.
Lets see what God’s word has to day about our tongues and our words.
WHY MUST I WATCH WHAT I SAY?
"Why must I do that? It’s only words; I’m just kidding." Words are significant, says James. Three reasons we have to learn to manage our mouth. Then he gives us six illustrations, two for each of the points. He was a great communicator because he knows how to illustrate.
1. OUR WORDS CAN DIRECT US AND OTHERS IN LIFE:
It has tremendous influence and control over my life. Where are you headed in life? Where are you going to be ten years from now? Look at your conversation. What do you like to talk about? What do you talk about the most? We shape our words and then our words shape us. James says, the tongue is small, it’s tiny. And because it’s tiny we think it’s insignificant. But it has tremendous power. v. 3 Consider a bit in a horse’s mouth. You’ve got a huge stallion, 2,000-3,000 pounds, and a 95 pound jockey on his back. The jockey can control the tremendous mighty horse by a little piece of metal stuck strategically over his tongue. Likewise your tongue controls the direction of your life wherever you want to go, and a little bit of a word or a phrase can influence the total direction of your life.
An ocean liner weighing thousands of pounds is directed by a small rudder. Even in the midst of storms the rudder still guides the ship.
Your words have the power to direct people to Jesus or away from Jesus.
Many people think, if the tongue has such influence maybe it’s best to say nothing. Not talk at all, be silent. [A guy joined the Trapist monastery. For three years he was given a probation period where he was not to speak at all, but at the end of each year he could say two words. The first year at the end he said, "Bed hard." At end of the second year he said, "Food cold." At the end of the third year he’s about had it. He comes in and says, "I quit". The head priest says, "That doesn’t surprise me. All you’ve done is complain since you got here."]
2. OUR WORDS CAN DESTROY US AND OTHERS:
v. 5 James gives another illustration. Imagine a beautiful forest -- tall beautiful trees everywhere. Now imagine it in one minute up in smoke, completely destroyed instantly with a little tiny match. It only takes a spark to get a fire going. James says, your tongue can destroy like that. You can loose it all. A careless camper can destroy an entire national forest overnight. A careless word can destroy a life overnight. Thousands of lives. Gossip is like fire. It spreads quickly and it wrecks havoc. I wonder how many people because of a careless word have destroyed their marriage, or their career, or their reputation, or the reputation of another, or their church, or a friendship. The tongue not only has the power to direct where you go but also to destroy what you have if you don’t learn to control it. It’s like a fire.
Our words can be devastating to others:
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
Job 19:2 How long will ye vex my soul, and break me in pieces with words. Another translation says How long will you torment me and crush me with words.
Proverbs 18:20 (Good News) "You have to live with the consequences of everything you say."
vs. 6 "... it sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." He’s saying here that words can create a chain reaction. You can say something that you didn’t mean to have any harm, but it can have devastating effects that are beyond your control.
You come home from work and you’re tired and grumpy and cranky. The husband walks in and yells at the wife. The wife yells at the oldest kid. The oldest kid yells at the baby sister. The baby sister goes out and kicks the dog. The dog goes and bites the cat. The cat comes in and scratches the baby. The baby bites the head off the Barbie doll. Wouldn’t it be a whole lot simpler if the husband just bit off the head of the Barbie doll himself? Chain reaction, the course of hell.
"set on fire by hell" itself. A couple comes in for marriage counseling. "I said this and then she said that, then I said this..." Then what happened? "All hell broke loose". Our words can cause "all hell to break loose." James says you’ve got to learn to manage your mouth, not only because it can direct where you go but it can destroy what you have. You can loose your family, your kids, your career simply by what you say. It’s like a fire.
Proverbs 21:23 "If you want to stay out of trouble be careful what you say!"
Ephesians 4:29-30 Let no corrupt ( unwholesome ) communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying ( building up ) that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Paul is saying when we use words that tear people down rather than building them up we are grieving The Holy Spirit of God. God is not pleased with our words because they are not building up the body of Christ.
We need to pray the prayer of the Psalmist.
Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, oh Lord, my Strength, and my Redeemer.
James goes on to say, "All kinds of animals ... have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. [It’s humanly impossible. Only God can do it.] It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." (vs.7-8) Of all the animals we’ve tamed, no man can tame the tongue, humanly speaking. He says it’s restless.
It’s like poison. The word in Greek is literally "snake venom". Just a few drops can kill. You can assassinate somebody with your words. Assassinate their character. The tongue is a deadly weapon.
No man can tame the tongue, But There is one who can, God is able to tame and control a lying Blaspheming, slanderous, gossiping, backbiting and destructive tongue. As much as He is able to deliver the drunkard from his alcohol, the gambler form his gambling, or a drug addict from his drugs. Our God is an awesome God and can do anything that we will allow Him to. There has to be a willingness on our part to surrender and yield our tongues to the Lord Jesus and The Holy Spirit.
3. OUR WORDS DISPLAY WHO WE ARE AND WHAT’S IN OUR HEARTS
It reveals my real character. It tells what’s really inside of me. First James points out how inconsistent we are in our speech. v. 9 "The tongue we praise our Lord and Father and with the same tongue we curse men who’ve been made in God’s likeness. From the same mouth come praise and cursings. My brothers, this should not be." We say these things out of the same mouth. We come to church on Sunday. The highest use of your mouth is to use it praising God. We sing praises to the Lord. Then we walk out, get into the car and on the way home we argue about where we’re going to eat lunch. Isn’t it amazing how quickly your attitude can change? In one minute you’re saying, "Praise the Lord", the next you’re saying, "Shut up!" It’s so inconsistent. It’s amazing how quickly it can change, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute we’re praising God and the next we’re cursing other people. Cursing here doesn’t necessarily mean profanity. It means any kind of put down, label. ["You good for nothing... You’ll never amount to nothing ... You’re just like ..."] Any kind of put down is a curse. He says, why curse men? They’re made in God’s image.
James gives the answer in v. 11-12. He says consider the source. "Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." The point is, whatever is in the well comes out in the water. Whatever is in the tree, comes out in the fruit. What is the likelihood of an apple tree producing cherries? Zip! My problem is not really my tongue. My problem is my heart. What’s inside is what comes out. My mouth eventually betrays what is really on the inside of me. I can fool you and pretend but eventually my tongue is going to catch me. It’s going to let you know what’s really inside.
Have you heard this excuse? Someone says something really mean or hurtful and they say, "I don’t know what got into me. It’s not like me to say that. I don’t know why I said that. It’s totally out of character. I didn’t really mean it." James would say, Yes, it is. It’s just like you. You meant it. Quit kidding yourself. What’s inside is going to come out. You don’t have a spring that one minute gives salt water and the next gives fresh water. That’s inconsistent. It’s a natural law: what comes out of the well is what is inside of it.
Jesus said in Matthew 12:34 "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Jesus explained the Freudian slip years before Freud even existed. He said what’s inside of you is what’s going to come out. My tongue just displays what I am. It directs where I go. It can destroy what I have. But most of all, it simply displays who I am and what’s in my heart. It reveals my character.
4. OUR WORDS CAN DELIGHT OTHERS:
Proverbs 18:4 The mouth of the righteous man is a well of life.
Proverbs 12:18 The tongue of the wise health.
Proverbs 12:25 Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.
Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. In other words, a good word spoken at the right time is better than golden apples in a silver basket.
Our words can can refresh and encourage someone that is discouraged and ready to give up and quit. Words can give new life to a ding relationship.
II. WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?
1. Get a new heart
You’ve got to get a new heart, that’s the problem. Ezekiel 18:31 "Rid yourself of all the offenses you have committed and get a new heart and a new spirit!" Painting the outside of the pump doesn’t make any difference if there is poison in the well. I can change the outside externals, I can turn over a new leaf, but what I really need is a new life. What I need is a fresh start. I need to let go of all the past and be born again and start over. I need to get a new heart.
How do I get a new heart? 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new person. The old has passed away. Behold all things have become new." New life, new heart, new spirit. When you come to Jesus Christ, He wipes out everything you’ve done in the past. He says You’re starting over. It’s like being born again. You need a new heart.
We need to pray like David prayed in Psalm 51 "Create in me a clean heart, O God" because what’s in my heart is going to come out in my mouth.
2. Ask God for help every day.
We need supernatural power so we ask God to help us. Psalm 141:3 "Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips."
You can’t do it on your own. Your life is a living proof of that. We cannot control it on our own. Great verse to memorize and quote every morning. "God, put a muzzle on my mouth. Guard my lips. Don’t let me be critical today. Don’t let me be judgmental. Don’t let me say things off the cuff and then I regret." You need to ask God for help daily because you need His power in your life.
Sidlow Baxter: "The proof that God’s Spirit is in your life is not that you speak in an unknown tongue but you control the tongue you do know." You watch your words. And God gives you the power to not slander, not lie, not exaggerate.
Getting into God’s word is a part of asking God for help. As you ask Him for help you need to read His word. You have heard the statement: Garbage in, garbage out. What goes into your mind, goes into your heart. And what goes into your heart, comes out of your mouth. Fill your mind with the word of God -- with positive things, whatsoever things that are true, etc. -- think on these things.
3. Think before you speak
Engage your mind before you engage your mouth. James 1:19 "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."
What does your tongue say about you? What does it reveal about you? If we were to play back a tape of every conversation you’ve had in this past week, what would we learn about you? God hears it all. Our tongues display who we are. What direction is your tongue leading you? Some people say, "I’m just sick all the time" or "I can never do anything", "Things are just getting tougher and tougher" -- what direction are they headed? Our tongues control the direction of our lives like a rudder, a bit.
A bit and a rudder must be under the hand of a strong arm. James is saying that the only way to get control of your tongue is let Jesus Christ have control of your heart. What’s in your heart is going to come out in your mouth. You let Christ’s hand be on your bit, your rudder and let Him direct your life.
Maybe you need to ask forgiveness. Maybe you need to go to your kids to say, "I’m sorry. I’m inconsistent the way I talk to you. Sometimes I’m loving, sometimes I’m harsh. That shows I’m like everybody else. I’m human." We all stumble in many ways -- all of us. Maybe you need to apologize to your wife or your husband. "I’m not as loving to you in my speech as I ought to be. I tend to be apathetic, cold, indifferent. I talk to you harshly. I boss everybody around. I’m inconsistent and inconsiderate." Ezekiel says, "Get rid of all your offenses you’ve committed and get a new heart and a new spirit."
In closing let me give you three more scripture to meditate on.
Proverbs 13:3 He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: But he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.
Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.
1 Peter 3:10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that speak no guile:
