Summary: If we're going to have the kind of relationship with one another that God wants us to have, then we need to understand why Paul says, "Love does not boast, it is not proud." (PowerPoint available - #167)

MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER

RIDGE CHAPEL, KANSAS, OK

(Revised: 2015)

(PowerPoints used with this message are available for free. Just email me at mnewland@sstelco.com and request #167.)

A. As most of you realize, & you husbands should remember, this Saturday is a very special day. It is Valentine's Day, & we are in the midst of a series of sermons from 1 Corinthians 13, the "Love Chapter" of the Bible.

ILL. A group of young adults were discussing the subject, "How do you say 'I love you' to someone?"

To answer that, one wife shared how her husband had "popped the question." While she was with a group of her girlfriends, he had shown up unexpectedly, wearing his best suit. And in front of everyone, he took her hand, knelt down before her, & asked her to marry him!

Another young lady said that her father had shown his love whenever her mother was having a particularly difficult week by waiting until she was out of the house, & then cleaning it as best he could in order to surprise her.

One young man told of his mother writing loving & encouraging notes on the bananas she put in his school lunch box.

And another related how one year her father had sold his prized shotgun in order to pay for her college textbooks.

SUM. You can say "I love you" in a lot of different ways, can't you? In reality, love is shown more by what you do than by what you say.

B. Now with that in mind, remember that last week we learned that love is kind. And this morning we'll look at another facet of love.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4 Paul says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." It is those last 2 phrases that we're going to consider today. And we learn that God often humbled people before He made them great.

ILL. Before Joseph became Prime Minister of Egypt, he had to spend time as a slave & be cast into an Egyptian prison.

Before Moses, who grew up in the palace of Pharaoh, ever became the great deliverer & leader of Israel, he had to spend years as a shepherd in the fields of Midian, a very humbling experience.

Before Saul of Tarsus became the great apostle to the Gentiles & write most of the N.T., he had to be humbled on the Damascus Road by a blinding flash of light from heaven, & the voice of the resurrected Lord.

C. Paul says that humility is a very important part of our love relationship. And yet, humility is often disparaged today.

We are much more concerned with feeling good about ourselves, & being proud of ourselves, & boasting about our accomplishments.

ILL. Politicians brag about what they have done, & assure you that if you will vote for them again that they will accomplish even more.

ILL. Advertisers say, "I know that this product is expensive, but you deserve the best today. So go ahead & buy it."

PROP. No, we're not a very humble people, & learning the lessons of humility does not come easy for us.

Yet, if we're going to have the kind of relationship with one another that God wants us to have, then we need to understand why Paul says, "Love does not boast, it is not proud." And then begin to develop Godly humility in our lives.

I. PROBLEMS CREATED BY PRIDE

Let's begin by seeing some of the problems that are created by pride.

A. The first problem is that pride often produces misunderstandings. Have you ever met someone who knows it all? It doesn't make any difference what the topic is, they can wax eloquent forever. And they never really listen to anybody else because they already know all the answers.

ILL. Perhaps you've heard of the guy who took a first aid course, & was so proud of his accomplishment in completing it. No sooner had he finished it than he came upon an accident in which a person was injured.

He rushed over to where the injured person was being attended to by a woman, & took charge. He shoved everybody aside, including the woman, & said, "Give me room. I've just finished a first aid course & I know what to do."

He knelt down beside the injured person & started doing what he could. The woman he had pushed away stood there a few moments & then said, "When you get to that point in your first aid training where it says, "Call the doctor, I'll be right here."

SUM. There are times when pride creates misunderstanding & a lack of consideration & appreciation for others.

B. Secondly, pride provokes arguments. Proverbs 13:10 says, "Pride...breeds quarrels".

If you put two people who know it all in the same room, then you have two irresistible forces, two immovable objects who will not back down, or admit that they might be wrong. And the arguments continue on & on.

Romans 12:16, in The Living Bible paraphrase says, "Don't try to act big ... And don't think you know it all." Truly, pride often provokes arguments.

C. Thirdly, I think pride prevents real fellowship. Usually, people who are proud will not allow you to see them as they really are.

They try to conceal their real self, to say things they think will impress you, & never allow you to see deep inside, because they are afraid that their real self will not be accepted. So they pretend to be something that they are not.

ILL. I've counseled with couples who have been married for years, & are having problems. Sometimes one of them will say, "You know, I've lived with this person for 20 years, & we love each other. But I really don't know who he or she is anymore."

Sometimes it is difficult simply because we're always covering up & trying to be what we think other people would like us to be.

1 John 1:7 says, "If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, then we have fellowship with one another..."

That is a good verse because it says, "If we walk in the light..." what happens if we walk in the light? Light always reveals & uncovers.

So if we really are walking in the light of God, I don't have to hide anything from you anymore, & you don't have to hide anything from me anymore. And we can have fellowship with each other because we're walking in the light together.

D. Fourthly, I think pride postpones reconciliation. If people are proud, then they aren't usually willing to back down or compromise or find a common ground where agreement can be found. So reconciliation simply doesn't take place.

ILL. Cliff Barrows said that there are 12 words that are absolutely essential for a good marriage. Here they are: #1. "I was wrong," #2. "I am sorry," #3. "Please forgive me," & #4. "I love you."

"Any relationship," he says, "has to have those 12 words in it or it simply won't work."

In any relationship, if we aren't willing to say, "I'm wrong," or "I'm sorry," or "Please forgive me," or admit that we love each other, & desire to forgive one another, then reconciliation can never take place. No wonder Paul said, "Love does not boast, it is not proud."

II. STEPS IN DEVELOPING HUMILITY

But even though we may decide that we need to develop humility, I don't think it will come easily for most of us. So here are steps that might help us get there.

A. First of all, acknowledge our mortality. We're told in Scripture that life is but a vapor that appears for a moment & then disappears. If you're my age you know that is true. We're on the downhill side of life, & it didn't take long to get here.

It seems like only yesterday we were young, & all of life was stretching before us. But the years have come & gone so rapidly, & we're coming to grips with our own mortality.

The Bible teaches that our bodies are made out of the dust of the ground, & that one of these days they will return to the dust. It's humbling, isn't it, to realize that the bodies that you & I have pampered & cared for & admired will someday be nothing more than part of the earth once again?

A hundred years from now, for most of us, no one will even remember our names. So the first step to developing humility is to remember our mortality.

B. Secondly, we need to remember our own fallibility. We make mistakes. We're not infallible. We make decisions that are wrong. We say things that are stupid. We do things that are embarrassing.

ILL. There is a story about a guy who went to a musical. And while the soprano was singing he turned to the man sitting next to him & said, "That's horrible. That is really bad." The man said, "That's my wife."

Quickly the guy said, "Oh, her voice is just fine. I wasn't talking about that. It's the material. The song she is singing is terrible. It's just not right for her." The man said, "I wrote it."

I admire the apostle Paul because he never glosses over the fact that he once persecuted Christians. Again & again he reminds himself & us, "I am the chief of sinners, saved by the grace of God."

I think it is all right to feel good about yourself. I think it is okay to consider your accomplishments. But every once in a while we need to stop & remember our fallibility. It will help us develop proper humility.

C. Thirdly, we need to remember God's sovereignty, & that He is in charge.

ILL. Those who work with alcoholics say that the reason most alcoholics will not seek help is because of their pride.

You can take an alcoholic who sleeps in flop houses, who has only the clothes on his back, & is waiting for someone to give him enough money to buy his next bottle of wine; & yet, the reason he doesn't seek help is because of his pride. His pride just will not let him admit that he needs help.

It is the same way with a lot of us, too. You see, each of us must reach the point where we will come before God & say, "God, I need help. I can't save myself. I can't change myself. I need you."

We must come to God & admit that He's in charge, & that He is sovereign over our lives. Only then will we really be humble before God.

D. And then I think the fourth step to humility is to develop servanthood.

In Matthew 20:28 Jesus said, "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, & to give His life as a ransom for many."

It is hard for me to understand how people can be Christians for 10 or 15 years & still be a "servee" & not a "server."

How can we claim that we're followers of the One who put a towel around His waist & picked up a basin of water & washed His apostles' feet? How can we say we're His followers & we're still waiting to be served? How can we do that?

You see, the only way we can finally begin to develop the virtue of humility is by becoming a servant, caring about others.

ILL. A few years ago, The Miami Herald reported that David McAllister, 77 & blind, a nursing home invalid in North Miami Beach, received daily visits from Chris Carrier, 32, who reads to McAllister from the Bible. Let me share with you a part of that article:

"Their only previous relationship occurred during a few days in Dec. 1974, when McAllister kidnapped 10 year old Carrier at a bus stop & later left him for dead in the Everglades with cigarette burns on his body, ice pick holes in one eye, & a gunshot wound that left him blind in the other eye.

"When Carrier was asked how he could possibly stand to be around McAllister, to look at the man who had so brutally tried to murder him years ago, Carrier said, 'I don't see a...murderer. I see a man, very old, very alone, & very scared.'" (Chuck Shepherd, Valley Morning Star, January 31, 1997)

That's servanthood at its best! For Jesus said, "Whatever you did for one of the least of these...you did for me" (Matthew 25:40).

CONCL. You see, the kind of love that Paul is talking about can make a difference. It can make a difference in our families, in our neighborhoods, in our nation. It is patient & kind &"does not boast, it is not proud." And it can turn our world upside down.

Now what about you? Is Jesus, the Lord of love, the Lord of your life, too? "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

"For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him." (John 3:16-17)

Will you come as we stand & as we sing?

INVITATION