Turn to Genesis 1:26-31 (READ)
There is an emphasis on leadership and dominion in these verses. How many of you know when God repeats himself, he is trying to get something across? God wants us to have leadership and dominion. I want to speak this Father’s Day on men of velvet and steel, a phrase Carl Sandberg used to describe Abraham Lincoln.
How many of the men are waiting for me to pull out a message on dominion from Ephesians 5, "Women, submit to your husband."? Men, say Amen. Now get ready, for I am setting you up, for when you are the head of something, you are responsible.
We have a crisis in our homes because we have failed. If things are going well in our business, who gets the credit? If you go into bankruptcy, who’s head rolls? When things are going well, everyone gets the credit, but when things are not going well, the coach’s head rolls.
The one to blame for the home going bad is the man, not the woman. Today, men are allowing women to have the authority that was given to them. 100,000 men walk out on their home each year, and many of them never say good-bye, leaving over 1 million children in single family homes.
Church, we have a call to father the fatherless, to be big brothers and sisters. What happens when we fail, well, in LA today, the largest numbers of prostitutes on the streets are teenage boys.
The family is important, because weak homes build weak churches, and weak businesses, and week nations.
Men, I hope you are hearing me today. I want to share with you characteristics of what makes men of steel and velvet. I am planning toward July and into August of doing a series on the family and today on Father’s Day I want to address men with some thoughts as I did to the women on Mother’s Day.
Here are some characteristics of Men of Steel.
#1 They are committed. First, they are committed to God, then to 3 specific things after God. 1. They are committed to providing for the family. And this is not just physical things. It is emotional things as well. It is being the leader in spiritual things in the home. 2. They are committed to protection. Men are the umbrella of the home. 3. They are committed to pointing God’s Way. It should be the fathers who lead their sons and daughters to Christ.
2. A second characteristic of steel, is Men should be men of conviction. A man of steel studies what he believes and can tell the family why he hold the beliefs that he does.
3. He is a man of courage. Too many sons see weak fathers. Are you a man who stands for right even if it means you will not get ahead? Be fearless. What I have seen is that men don’t like to make decisions because they are afraid of failure. Remember, we can fail with Jesus. Yet, how many times in the home do we hear children ask if they can do so and so, and the response is, let me think about it when we know the answer should be no. What we are doing is teaching our children to make their own decisions because we won’t. "Let our yes be yes, and our no be no."
4. A man of steel is a man of character. Masculine character. We need men to be men and women to be women. To talk like a man, to act like a man, to be a man. A man of moral purity, for what you do in moderation, your kids will do in excess.
5. A man of steel is constructive. He is always building up, not tearing down. There is a way to be critical by building up. To pull our kids close and say we appreciate them. How do you come home at night? All day you have been Mr. Personality, then you walk into the house and kick the dog, or the wife, pick up the newspaper after walking by the wife and kids, and bury yourself in the newspaper? We need to be constructive. A constructive man knows his wife. Some men never take 5 minutes to read a book to learn about their wife, it is no wonder marriages are falling apart. God has given us dominion, leadership, and we need to take it an run with it. Proverbs says, "Train up a child in the way he should go." We need to know the gifts and talents God has placed in our children so they go right.
6. Men of Confidence. Self-esteem, a sense of belonging, confidence. We need confidence in God; you need to know this about yourself, You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Confidence in family, to trust the wife and kids, to be proud of them.
7. Finally a man of steel needs to be controlled. Submitted to God, in obedience to God. Where you are thinking and doing what God wants you to think and do.
To have a heart of steel, you must be covered in velvet. Let me quickly give you some characteristics of velvet.
1. A man of velvet cares. Caring takes time. Time to know, to express with love and compassion the needs of family. And understanding of what intimacy involves in the marriage relationship, that intimacy is more than just in sex. Caring means spending time with your children so you know their needs and desires.
2. A man of velvet shows concern. Caring and concern just about go hand in hand. When you genuinely care, then you will have concern for the well being of yourself, your family and others. A concerned man will do what is necessary and possible to eleviate the situations of others, to see them rise above themselves to a higher level. A concern for their physical, emotional and spiritual needs.
3. A man of velvet is considerate. Considerate people listen, they know how to treat a woman. We have men who don’t know how to open car doors. Considerate people know how to speak, the foul language we hear today is offensive and not considerate of others.
4. Men of velvet know how to communicate. You have to listen to your wife, to your kids, to others. To buy cards to express appreciation and love. Flowers and other ways of communication.
5. Men of velvet know how to conduct themselves. They know what it means to be a gentleman with their wife and kids. It’s fun when you do it in public, but are you a gentleman when only the family sees you? Conduct is both a public and private matter.
6. Men of Velvet correct in love. It is not done in anger, it is not done in a scolding manner, but correction comes in love, where it hurts you as much as it hurts the one you are correcting.
7. Finally, men of velvet know how to cry. To cry when your child fails at something, when they sin or disappoint, rather then pulling out a strap and getting mad, a man of velvet knows when to just sit down and cry. When your wife is going through the cycles of womanhood each month and their emotions are riding the roller coaster, can you cry? Can you stand in the church and cry, or are you too tough to let the tears flow.
I know here today, we have men of steel and velvet, men in training, and passing that training on to their children. I know in my life, I have tried, failed and tried again. None are perfect, but we serve a God who can get us back on track. I think of one of the greatest compliments that can come in realizing even though there are things we would have done differently in life if we could go back and change then, is when one of your kids as they are grown, will say, Dad, I want to marry someone like you.
Men, let us strive to be men of steel and velvet.
PRAYER
