It was a quiet Saturday morning as the guests began to filter into the little church. Friends of the couple had been there for hours making sure everything was just perfect. The guest were a diverse bunch, some were friends of hers, and others were friends of his. They both had family there as well as friends that they shared. They were all there from the very old to the very young to celebrate with the couple. It was a special day, perhaps the most special day in their lives and all those who loved them had come to make it even more special.
Each of the pew markers had been painstakingly created by the brides aunt, her mother’s sister. Tiny lace doilies starched to stiff perfection with burgundy bows holding petite ceramic bells in place. Each one an individual expression of love. The floral arrangements on the platform had been done by the groom’s mother, four baskets overflowing with flowers from the garden which filled their back yard. Each bloom chosen for it’s beauty, each one placed with the love that she had given her son through all his years growing up.
The music had been chosen with an ear to tradition, and with careful attention given to things special to the couple. The medley of love songs floated over the gathering crowd. On the eleventh hour the bride groom and his entourage stepped on to the platform. Fiddling with their hands and looking handsome and awkward in their rented tux’s, they wait with baited breath. With a barely discernible nod the pastor signals he organist who begins to play "Ode to Joy".
Through the doors in the rear of the sanctuary step the first of the brides maids and she makes her way down the isle, consciously thinking of the instructions received the night before at the rehearsal. Step, wait, step, wait, step wait. Half way down the aisle she is followed by yet another pretty young lady in a matching dress. Step by step they proceed, being joined by another bride’s maid, the flower girl, and then the bride’s best friend, now serving as her maid of honour. The beautiful young ladies join the handsome young men at the platform and the organist finishes with Beethoven.
The trumpet breaks the still air with a flourish and signals the beginning of the "Trumpet Voluntare", the crowd stands as one and even over the sound of brass you can hear a collective intake of breath as the bride steps into the sanctuary.
In the Talmud, the Jewish book of wisdom, the Rabbis tell us "On their wedding day all brides are beautiful". They’re right. In my Fifteen years of pastoral ministry I have performed over forty weddings, and never once have I ever seen an ugly bride. It just doesn’t happen.
On the wedding day the bride has made sure that her make up is perfect, she’s gone out and had two hours of intense work done on her hair and make-up. The dress she is wearing was chosen after hours and hours of soul searching questions, and fears that it just wouldn’t say the right thing. The flowers in her bouquet were selected to perfectly compliment everything from her eyes to her hair to the shade of nail polish she is wearing. Nothing is left to chance. Absolutely nothing. She is going to be radiant when she walks down the isle and people are going to gasp, and talk about how they have never seen a more beautiful bride. When her groom looks at her walking toward him, there will be no doubt at all in his mind that he is the luckiest man alive.
Now without wanting to sound unkind, I have seen those same ladies before and after the wedding and you just couldn’t believe that it was the same person. No make up, hair frazzled, old dowdy clothes and a look on their face that could peel paint. How come? Because on that, the most important day of her life she has chosen to do everything that she can possibly do to enhance her natural beauty. She isn’t wearing a mask, doesn’t get somebody else to stand in for her. She is what she is. All she has done, has been to show herself in the best possible light. Nothing wrong with that, no deceit, no trickery, everything is completely above board. And I know I’m being sexist. Yes I know that very few men ever again match the care they took in their appearance on that day, but that’s literary licence.
The church has long been recognised as the bride of Christ. And we are told in Ephesians 5:27 that she will be presented to Christ, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, holy and blameless. On her wedding day the church is will be the most beautiful bride that anyone has ever seen. Everything will be perfect. Nothing will be out of place, and the entire universe will gasp as she walks down the aisle toward her bridegroom Jesus Christ. And as he hears the fanfare and watches her approach he will know that all of his sacrifice and the price that he paid on the cross was worth it, because she is the most beautiful bride that every was or ever will be.
Now, while that is certainly what the church is going to look like on her wedding day, you gotta admit that there are times when she is far from beautiful. In reality she not only has plain looking days, but there are days she is downright ugly. I know that the church will never be perfect as long as it is made up of imperfect people, but there are times that I’m sure we do our best to make the church as unappealing as possible. When people look at the church what do they see? Do they see something that is attractive and appealing or do they see something which doesn’t do anything for them at all.
There are all kinds of ways that the church can be attractive to people, in attitude, in physical appearance and in the care taken during morning worship. Because, whether we want to admit it or not, people see Jesus in the local church. If we appear negligent in how we present ourselves it says something about our view of our Saviour. Does the face that we present to the community say "We think it is important to do our best for our Saviour," or does it say, "We don’t really care."
When Paul writes to Titus, part of his instruction to him in Titus 2:10 is to teach the church in such a manner as to make the teaching about Jesus attractive. People don’t want to be a part of something that doesn’t look good. This is the 1990’s people don’t do things any more just because they’ve always done them. People examine their choices and examine the options given to them. At no other time in history has the church been scrutinised more closely concerning the claims of the Gospel. Our outward attitudes and outward appearances are often the only visible means for people to examine us.
WHAT MAKES THE BRIDE, THE CHURCH UNATTRACTIVE? SEVERAL THINGS REALLY. PAUL IN SPEAKING TO THE CHURCH IN CORINTH TELLS THEM HOW HE IS AFRAID HE WILL FIND THEM, HE SAYS IN 2 Corinthians 12:20 I am afraid that when I come, we won’t be pleased with each other. I fear that some of you may be arguing or jealous or angry or selfish or gossiping or insulting each other. I even fear that you may be proud and acting like a mob. I WOULD EXPECT THEN THAT THESE ARE SOME OF THE VERY THINGS THAT THAT DISTRACT FROM THE NATURAL BEAUTY OF THE CHURCH.
THE FIRST THING THAT PAUL MENTIONS IS QUARRELLING WHICH IS KIND OF UNIQUE IN THE SENSE THAT IN THE PROVERBS SOLOMON MENTIONS WIVES SIXTEEN TIMES AND FIVE OF THOSE MENTIONS QUARRELSOME WIVES, SAYING THINGS LIKE Proverbs 19:13A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain.
AND Proverbs 21:9 It’s better to stay outside on the roof of your house than to live inside
with a nagging wife. OR Proverbs 21:19 It’s better out in the desert than at home with a nagging,
complaining wife.
THE WORD THAT IS USED FOR QUARRELSOME IN THE HEBREW IS EITHER MEDAN WHICH MEANS DISCORD AND STRIFE OR THE HEBREW MADOWN WHICH LITERALLY MEANS BRAWLING.
Imagine that you’ve decided to take your family out to dinner, and this time it’s going to be a class joint. No Golden Arches or cardboard crowns, you are going to do it right. You’re looking for a place with cloth napkins, where you drink from glass and eat with metal. So you load the family in the wagon and head for the classy eatery. So far everything is all right. You arrive and it’s a nice looking place. The grass has been mowed, everything is neat and clean and you think "This is a nice restaurant." Just then there’s a deafening crash. A body comes flying through the front window. Carefully you creep over and look through the shards of glass left in the window frame! You can’t believe your eyes. Inside looks like a grudge match at the World Wrestling Federation. Two guys are wrestling in the salad bar. Lettuce, tomatoes and dressing are going everywhere. Another three people are slinging deserts at one another while tables and chairs are being broken throughout the establishment. What’s incredible though is the fact that, in the middle of this fiasco, there are several families sitting and eating their dinner as if nothing was going on at all.
What is your first reaction? If you are a normal rational human being, you turn, round up your wife and kids and hustle them back to the car and find another restaurant.
While that may be stretching the point just a little bit there are churches where the infighting is just as obvious. People aren’t going to be breaking down those church doors to settle in with their families. There is too much stress in our world today without making a conscious decision to become a part of a church that is always fighting over stupid things. Nine times out of ten, the things that we fight over in church are just that, stupid. Hymns or choruses. The colour of carpet in the foyer. Sunday School curriculum. What version of the Bible that we read in public. Things that won’t matter one iota in the eternal scheme of things.
arguing or jealous or angry or selfish ARE ALL MENTIONED IN THE SAME BREATH AND REALLY THEY ARE ALL ONE IN THE SAME.
ANOTHER THING THAT PAUL MENTIONS IS gossiping or insulting each other. THIS IS A VERY REAL PROBLEM IN MANY CHURCHES AND IT CAUSES SO MUCH DAMAGE. YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS IS WHEN YOU GET SEVENTY PEOPLE TOGETHER THERE WILL BE DIFFERENCES OF OPINION AND THERE WILL BE HURTS AND SLIGHTS, IT’S JUST GONNA HAPPEN. HOW WE DEAL WITH THOSE DIFFERENCES OF OPINION AND HURTS AND SLIGHTS THOUGH SHOULD BE WHAT SETS US APART FROM THE WORLD. TIME AND TIME AGAIN IN THE SCRIPTURES WE ARE TOLD THAT IF WE HAVE A PROBLEM THAT WE GO TO THE PERSON THAT WE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH AND SETTLE IT.
Matthew 18:15If one of my followers sins against you, go and point out what was wrong. But do it in private, just between the two of you. If that person listens, you have won back a follower. NOW THAT SCRIPTURE GOES ON TO TELL HOW IF YOUR BROTHER WON’T LISTEN TO YOU THEN YOU TAKE ONE OR TWO OTHER PEOPLE WITH YOU AND IF THERE STILL IS NO SETTLEMENT YOU TAKE THE MATTER TO THE LEADERSHIP OF THE CHURCH. THE PROBLEM IS TOO OFTEN IN THE CHURCH WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM INSTEAD OF DISCUSSING IT WITH THE PERSON WE HAVE THE PROBLEM WITH WE DISCUSS IT WITH EVERYONE ELSE, THEN WE DECIDE THAT WE NEED TO PRAY ABOUT IT SO WE GET TOGETHER WITH FRIENDS PRAY, NORMALLY WITHOUT THE OTHER PERSON THERE AND THE ENTIRE THING IS AIRED AGAIN STILL IN AN ENTIRELY UNBIBLICAL MANNER.
JOHN WESLEY GAVE US FOUR RULES TO FOLLOW CONCERNING BACKBITING AND GOSSIPING.
1) THAT WE WILL NOT LISTEN TO OR INQUIRE AFTER ANY ILL CONCERNING EACH OTHER.
2) THAT IF WE HEAR ANY ILL CONCERNING EACH OTHER, WE WILL NOT BE IN A HURRY TO BELIEVE IT.
3) THAT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WE WILL COMMUNICATE WHAT WE HEAR BY SPEAKING TO OR WRITING TO THE PERSON CONCERNED.
4) THAT UNTIL WE HAVE DONE THIS WE WILL NOT WRITE OR SPEAK A SYLLABLE OF IT TO ANY OTHER PERSON WHATSOEVER.
THOSE RULES NEED TO BE ADHERED TO HERE AT BEDFORD COMMUNITY CHURCH IF WE ARE GOING TO STAY THE BRIDE THAT JESUS WANTS US TO BE. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOMETHING THE CHURCH HAS DONE AS THE CHURCH THEN YOU COME AND SEE ME, YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT IT AND GRUMBLE ABOUT IT, EVEN THOUGH IT MAY NOT BE GOSSIPING IT IS MUMMERING AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL WHEN THEY MURMURED DON’T YOU?
MAYBE WE NEED TO ADOPT THE SAME PHILOSOPHY WHICH BASICALLY SAYS IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY, THEN DON’T.
I HAD MENTIONED BEFORE HOW OUT OF THE SIXTEEN TIMES THAT SOLOMON SPOKE OF WIVES HE SPOKE OF QUARRELSOME WIVES FIVE TIMES. WELL OUT OF THE REMAINING ELEVEN INSTANCES THE WIVES THAT SOLOMON SPOKE OF WERE REFEREED TO AS ADULTERESS OR WAYWARD SEVEN TIMES.
THROUGHOUT THE BIBLE ADULTERY IS USED AS A HEBREWIC EUPHEMISM, AND YOU ALL KNOW WHAT A HEBREWIC EUPHEMISM IS DON’T YOU? IT’S AN EUPHEMISM IN HEBREW, THAT IS IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH FOR SINNING. WHEN A CHURCH TAKES A SOFT STAND ON SIN AND REFUSES TO ADMONISH OR CONDEMN SIN THEN IT BECOMES UNFAITHFUL TO THE WORD OF GOD AND IS IN EFFECT COMMITTING ADULTERY.
WE LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE CHURCHES ALL TOO OFTEN WOULD RATHER PREACH "LOVE, MOTHERHOOD AND LOWER TAXES" THEN CONDEMN SIN. THEY ARE AFRAID THAT THEY WILL DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY IF THEY PREACH AGAINST SIN, THEY ARE AFRAID THAT IT WILL MAKE THEM UNATTRACTIVE TO THE WORLD. AND YET THEY BECOME THE UNFAITHFUL WIFE TO CHRIST.
AND WHILE THESE CHURCHES MAY PRESENT WHAT THEY SEE AS AN ATTRACTIVE APPEARANCE TO THE WORLD OFTEN THE WORLD SEES THROUGH THE HYPOCRISY TO THE ADULTERY AT THE CORE.
THE CONCEPT OF BIBLICAL AND PERSONAL HOLINESS IS SUMMED UP IN THE WORD OBEDIENCE, OBEDIENCE TO THE WORD OF GOD. AND WHEN THE WORD OF GOD IS NOT USED AS OUR ABSOLUTES AS CHRISTIANS AND WHEN WE PARTICIPATE IN ACTIONS THAT ARE DIRECTLY SPOKEN AGAINST IN THE BIBLE THEN WE ARE UNFAITHFUL TO CHRIST.
WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO TO BE THE MOST ATTRACTIVE BRIDE THAT WE CAN POSSIBLY BE FOR CHRIST. WELL THIS PASSAGE TELLS US THAT WE NEED TO SUBMIT TO HIM. ONE PERSON DOESN’T MAKE A CHURCH BUT A CHURCH IS MADE UP OF A PILE OF ONE PERSONS. AND WHILE WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CHANGE THE CHURCH INDIVIDUALLY. INDIVIDUALLY WE CAN ALL CHANGE THE CHURCH AND MAKE THE CHURCH A BEAUTIFUL BRIDE THROUGH OUR INDIVIDUAL OBEDIENCE. IF THE REST OF THE CHURCH DOESN’T COME TO THE PARTY THAT IS THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. YOURS IS BEING OBEDIENT ON A PERSON LEVEL TO WHAT CHRIST WANTS IN YOUR LIFE.
