People who move to the United States from non-English speaking countries typically have a difficult time learning our language – and understandably so. English is a weird language.
Think about the word ‘love.’ It can mean a lot of different things. I love baseball, I love broccoli, I love Brian Rice and I love my bride. But I don’t mean the same thing when I by the word love. I don’t love Brian Rice like I love my wife… And how I say it makes all the difference in the world. I can say “I love you…” and then I can say “I love you.”
Our words can mean a lot of different things. And it can get pretty confusing. For instance, you drive on a parkway, but you park in your driveway. There’s no ‘egg’ in eggplant and no ham in hamburger. Quicksand is actually slow. Boxing rings are actually square. You recite a play, but you play at a recital. Your nose runs, but your feet smell. Who did this to us?
Why is the word abbreviated so long? Why do they call it a building, if it’s already built? Why isn’t the word phonetic spelled like it sounds? Why do doctors cost so much if they’re just practicing? And who decided to name the place where the airplane takes terminal?
English muffins aren’t from England, French fries don’t come from France and the Casear salad was invented in Mexico. A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Does that mean the plural of “to choose” is “to cheese”? The past tense of teach is taught. So when done this morning, I will have praught!
Our language is sloppy. And not just in its word forms – but in its delivery as well. We tend to say things we don’t mean – or say things without even thinking about it. Sometimes I think we’ve decided the only way to be funny it to put people down.
And the truth is, our words aren’t just sloppy, they’re dangerous. I love this quote I read, “Lord make my words soft and tender for tomorrow I may have to eat them.” Often our words aren’t tender and soften. We, at times, are given to harsh, hateful words, only to try to cover them up with “I was only joking,” or “that’s just how I feel…”
Rumors, half-truths, grumbling, sarcastic remarks, things said in the heat of anger or in throes of the moment – all of these are ‘burning matches’ tossed to the ground with a potential for burning down acres of office morale, personal friendships, family peace, and church unity.
As one person once said, “I always knew that when I would look back on my tears it would make me laugh. What I never knew is that looking back on my laughter could someday make me cry.”
Remember this line from childhood: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words may shatter my soul. Our words can wound and maim the closest companions of our lives. With our words we label, we limit, we assault, we undermine and humiliate, sometimes without even knowing it – and sometimes quite intentionally. There’s a lot of trash that comes out of our mouths.
There is a great deal of trash that comes out of our mouths:
Deceit - lying; intentionally misleading or misinforming.
Gossip – talking about someone or someone else’s life without their approval or presence.
Impurity – speech, comments, jokes, words from the carnal or sinful nature.
Self-promotion - arrogance, boasting, condescension, pride.
Slander - defaming/attacking identity, character or standing.
Prejudice - bias based on culture, color or history.
Griping - constant/harsh criticism; complaints; grumbling
This garbage stinks and fouls our relationships, our reputation and ability to minister and to love. The trash out of our mouths keeps us from trusting each other, keeps us from being open about struggles and hurts – it robs us of relationships we are supposed to have. It gets in the way of God’s love and deprives us of God’s power.
And often someone will stand up and tell us that saying these harmful, hurtful words is wrong. And that we must change the trash that comes out of our mouths. And I agree. But I think there’s a far more important issue here. The issue is where do these words come from? I submit to you that the trash that comes from our mouths is a symptom of an even greater problem. And Jesus agrees with me, or more correctly, I agree with him.
Look at these words spoken by Jesus from Matthew’s gospel:
“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Matthew 12: 33-37
His diagnosis of our problem is precise. No questioning where this unclean language is coming from. Look again at these words: “For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” Straight to the point, isn’t Jesus? The heart. Our jokes, our comments, our quips, the words spoken in anger or frustration, the slips of the tongue that show up in unexpected places… are all making seen the unseen heart.
And perhaps the reason we’ve so rarely examined our speech as overflow of the heart is because of the daunting work and struggle involved. Self-examination is difficult to do. It requires a great deal of focused thinking, lots of honest evaluation, true humility and a willingness to be confronted and changed. Yet until the heart is changed, our speech will remain filled with garbage. And our relationships will continue to struggle, and forest fires will continue to burn in our homes and in our church.
So what is it that’s inside the heart that is so polluting and fouling up our language? This morning I’d like to draw your attention to six contaminants of the heart; six things that could be in your heart affecting your speech and contaminating your language. I would like you to look at these contaminants and so a little inventory. Do any of these sound familiar? Have my conversations this week indicated that something of this nature could be in my heart? What are the words of my mouth telling me, and others, about the condition of my heart?
The first contaminant is Imbalance. Think about this: lets say you’re out driving your good-looking, fancy SUV. You tool that thing out on I-44 heading for Oklahoma City and get it up to 75. And, just for the sake of argument, lets assume your tires are out of balance. What does that do the car? It vibrates – and badly. Things get shaken up, knocked out of place and you have a sour stomach and a whopper of a headache when you get into OKC.
When we live out of balance – everything gets shaken up. We were designed to live a life that keeps certain basic priorities. But when the work at the office becomes more important than the needs of our mate, it starts to show. When we’ve put meeting the demands of others ahead of parenting and mentoring our children our heart knows it, and our speech will show it.
And when we’ve undermined or flat out denied his sovereign place as Lord of our life; when we’ve bent a knee and made something else Lord that imbalance flows out of our heart and into conversation.
Or perhaps we struggle with Insecurity. We’ve somehow lost confidence in who we are and whose we are. We have a skewed self-image and little faith in who God created us to be and so we begin to show it in the way we describe ourselves with cutting and hurtful descriptions of our self – or when we go to the other extreme and use words to gain position or power over others.
It could be that our heart is under attack by Satan with a spirit of worthlessness or shame – that there is something inherently wrong with us or unlovable about us. We have no confidence in our selves. And we don’t dare posture or present ourselves before God because there’s no telling what he’s like to do with us… Insecurity.
Perhaps related to that is the contaminant of Injustice. We hold within our heart a conviction or deep sense or being wronged, hurt or mistreated. We hold within our heart a weakness and injury that seems to fester and deepen over time. We’re terrified of it happening again, or anyone discovering it. We’re afraid that everyone already knows or that everyone is already prejudiced against you. And that injustice and hurt can come out of the heart through our words.
Another ailment of the heart is Insensitivity. Sometimes our conversation demonstrates an insensitivity; either insensitivity to God or even an insensitivity to others. We can’t understand what God is doing in our lives, or saying to us through his Holy Spirit. Our words reveal a heart that is deaf to the leadings and conviction that God brings to our lives.
Or perhaps our course and harsh words reveal an insensitivity to the feelings and needs of others. And speaking to other people with sensitivity isn’t an issue of our personality nearly as much as its an issue of the condition of our heart. Our hearts are hard and insensitive.
Immaturity is a common and powerful pollutant of the heart. We as adults don’t like to admit it, but often we are spiritual children – adolescents at best. We spend little or any time trying to exercise our spiritual muscles and as a result, our hearts are left unchanged, carnal and immature. We’re easily intimidated away from long and continual spiritual work which, given time, would make a profound impact in the condition of our heart. That’s why the fleshly humor, the course conversations, the dull comments come out of our mouths – our hearts are wedged in place by immaturity.
Or maybe the words of your heart reveal an Ignorance. When we talk about Jesus and his words, you have no real experience with this man. You’re not sure why God would take top priority in your life – why the condition of your heart is so important. And that ignorance of Jesus and his work of transformation in our lives shows itself.
Well, there they are. All six contaminants: Imbalance, Insecurity, Injustice, Insensitivity, Immaturity and Ignorance.
Which ones look familiar? Be honest… What are the words of your mouth revealing about your heart?
Is your life out of balance? Has a commitment to God and His kingdom been push on to the back burner or just out of the schedule?
Are you wrestling with an insecurity? Are you struggling to feel confident about who God has created you to be?
Is there an injustice constantly digging into your heart, throbbing and releasing toxins of distrust and fear?
Are you struggling with being sensitive to God and His spirit? Is your heart resistant to listen for His will, his conviction or to his people?
Is your heart trapped in immaturity? Are you constantly swallowed in the worldly desires and passions that surround us today?
Or are you here today with no real knowledge of this man Jesus?
All of these contaminants are formidable attempts by your enemy to smash relationships and to shipwreck your faith. And your heart must be treated by the Great Physician – Jesus.
First, you need to diagnose the problem. I hope you’ve already started. Next, you have to act. Left alone, this problem will do nothing but worsen. So I’m going to give you six suggestions – six steps you can take to bring a cleaning and healing to your heart.
Now a couple of these will not be easy. Your heart’s probably been in this condition for some time. There’s no instant pill that will change things overnight while you sleep. But I think you will find that if you will follow these suggestions, it will bring your heart into a place and shape where God can provide healing and growth.
How do I clean up my heart? First – pray for divine guidance. Human wisdom can only take you so far – and so far it’s only gotten you into trouble. So pray for God to guide you along a journey of cleansing. Ask him to speak clearly in a language and manner, which you can understand.
Second, Uncover the root of the ungodliness. Why are you in this shape to begin with? This may be easy to recognize. Maybe not. Why are you constantly putting others down? Why is it your first instinct to make that kind of joke in that situation… Where is this coming from?
Third, Revel in God’s gifts and love. Let yourself wallow in the good and gentle grace of our savior. Celebrate his forgiveness, his hope, his power and the way He treasures you. Whether its listening to praise tapes in your car or leaving sticky notes on the bathroom mirror with memory verses, Fill your head with reminders of his love and truth. Revel in the personal way God cares about you and loves you.
Next, identify steps to renewal and change. Figure out what you need to do to bring life-change in your life. It may be that you need to confess some sin. It may be that you need to develop some better scheduling habits. It could be that you need to go back home and confront some of your past. Or that you need to go home and throw away some magazines. Maybe who you spend your time with needs to change. You probably already know what some of these steps are, truthfully. Identify them – and act.
Closely akin to that – Find quality care providers. Find some people that will help you along the way - Brothers and sisters that will help you wrestle with your words and your heart. Find someone that will listen to you and hold you accountable for those steps you need to take. Look for someone who can help you grow and change what is in your heart. And this may even mean you need to find a professional. And whether we’re talking about someone who’s a professional spiritually or psychologically, seek that provider.
Finally, Yearn for better speech. Want the words that flow out of your mouth to sound like the words of Jesus. Because the truth is, we tend to pursue with our time and energy that which we yearn for the most.
You’ll notice the obvious acronym we’ve built here – Purify. And that’s really the point this morning. Our hearts need to be purified. As God purifies our hearts, he purifies our speech. I love these words from James 4:8 - “Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” Come near to God. Use your words to influence your heart for a change. Fill your speech with Praise, Thanksgiving, Adoration, Confession, Encouragement and Prayer and draw yourself to God – and He will draw near to you – cleansing your heart and begin taking out the trash!
Kyle Meador
New Heights Church of Christ
106 N. Main
Owasso, Oklahoma 74055
(918) 274-1725
newheightschurch@yahoo.com
www.newheightsfamily.org
