Once upon a time there was a woman named Hannah. Hannah didn’t have any children and she wanted so much to have a child. Hannah found her self in deep sorrow over her infertility. No one seemed to understand her need. In her anguish of being without child Hannah prayed and committed a vow to the Lord that if she had a son he would be dedicated to the Lord. This dedication was not like a mother and father dedicating their child to the Lord in our church. This vow involved giving her son up immediately after he was weaned for adoption by a priest who would raise him and train him for his vocation. So then after making this vow Hannah went home and lived out her days never having a child.
No, that’s not what happened in Hannah’s life. We know from the Bible that after making that vow Hannah was blessed with a son whom she named Samuel, which means, “Because I have asked him of the Lord.” But unlike Hannah’s miracle, for many married women a child never comes. In our society, one out of six women who wants to have a baby cannot conceive . And more than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility . Today is Mother’s Day and it’s a time when we rightfully honor mothers. But as we look at the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1, it can also be a time when we pay honor to married women without children.
I. Poor Responses to a Woman Without Child
Hannah is a very famous mother in the Bible, being the mother of the prophet Samuel. For a long time though before she gave birth to Samuel, Hannah struggled with being without a child. As Hannah went through the discouragement of being without child, she wasn’t treated very well by others. This only added to Hannah’s feeling of inadequacy. There are three key people in her life who contributed to her hardship in facing infertility: her husband’s other wife, her husband, and her priest. Turn in your Bibles to 1 Samuel 1 and let’s see how Hannah was treated.
I. a. Peninnah
First, there is Peninnah. She was the other wife of Hannah’s husband Elkanah. Peninnah, who had children, provoked Hannah and ridiculed her situation of being without child (verse 6-7). It was a huge stigmatism to not have a child. Peninnah took advantage of the situation to be rude to Hannah. Maybe Peninnah did this because she was jealous. After all the Bible tells us that Elkanah “loved” Hannah (verse 5). Nothing is said about love being involved in Elkanah’s relationship to his other wife. Yet there is no excuse for being rude and critical to anyone.
I. b. Elkanah
Second, there is Elkanah, the husband of Hannah. His response is one of extreme insensitivity to the situation. In verse 8, Elkanah says to Hannah, “Am I not better to you than ten sons?” There’s something hypocritical about Elkanah asking such a question. If Elkanah had loved Hannah more than ten sons, he wouldn’t have needed a second wife to bear his children. Furthermore, Elkanah’s not the one who is without children. Elkanah already had children with his other wife Peninnah. To compound Hannah’s feeling of inadequacy, we know that the source of problem of infertility wasn’t from Elkanah or he wouldn’t have been able to have children by his other wife.
In this situation Elkanah commits one of the most common mistake husbands make in dealing with their wives. He tries to rationalize his wife’s problems and feelings, when what she really needs is someone to listen to her pain. She doesn’t need someone to try and solve the problem by making her feel better. And she certainly doesn’t need to be asked an unreasonable question about her love for her husband. After all it’s possible to love one’s husband and still deeply want children. I would hope that no Christian here would be rude to someone struggling with infertility, but there is a possibility that many of us here at one time or another have been insensitive to a women without a child like Hannah’s husband was to her.
I. c. Eli
As a priest, Eli severely misunderstood Hannah’s spirit. Hannah comes near Eli and she’s praying and making a vow to the Lord in the sanctuary, and what does Eli do? In verse 14, Eli’s first reaction is to accuse Hannah of being drunk with wine. It should be a very serious calling to be in the business of judging another’s spirit, and in this mistaken reaction Eli compounded the suffering of Hannah.
To give you a little bit of background, my wife and I have not been blessed with children and we’ve been married for five years. So I know all about the pain when an old friend sends you a card and asks the question, “When are you going to have children? I’ll expect to hear the news anytime now.”
I’ll never forget a trip I had recently. It just so happened that a married friend of mine who also does not have any children either was traveling with us too. We were carpooling with an older gentleman to a business meeting several hours out of town. This gentleman who I’ll call Rob noticed that my friend and I were both in our 30’s and did not have children. As we sat there in the car Rob had the audacity to ask me and my friend if we had a philosophical problem with taking the step of having children and carrying on our genes to the next generation. I answered that God has not blessed me with children and I also said a lame explanation about being a Camp Director and that I share life with children through the hundreds of kids that come to my camp each Summer. But what insensitivity to the plight of someone who is without children.
II. Proper Responses to Women Without Children
Now we ask the question, how should we treat married women who do not have children. We certainly don’t want to be rude or insensitive as Elkanah or my traveling companion Rob. We also don’t want to misunderstand people’s situation. as they are dealing with the Lord on this issue like Eli did.
II. a Understand the Devastation
We need to be sensitive to married women without children. We need to understand that it is a devastating blow for most women to be without child. A poem by Louise Taylor called a Childless Mother underscores this.
II. b. Understand the Difficulty of Some Situations Today is Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is often especially hard for married women who do not have children.
Also, it is often very hard for a married women struggling with infertility to go to baby showers. Don’t judge a women to harshly for not going to a baby shower. We should allow any women without a child to make their own decisions about the level of involvement they feel comfortable with regarding these sensitive things. And we should never ask a lot of inquisitive questions about the infertility unless information is offered.
II. c. Encourage Her Self-Worth
If you have children, involve a women who doesn’t in your child’s life. But also spend time doing things with her that you share in common as women that do not involve children. And praise her. We all need that.
II. d. Encourage Her Spirit
We also need to encourage the spiritual growth of married women without children. Let me say that there is nothing inherently spiritually wrong with someone who does not have children, anymore than there is some spiritual strength in having a dozen children out of wedlock. But as is the case for anyone, as we pour our lives to God, we find that our problems and disappointments have a new perspective.
III. Hannah’s Response to Her Detractors
What was Hannah’s response to the people in her life who compounded her already obvious suffering of being infertile? First, Hannah didn’t retaliate, but she handled the rude and insensitive with silence. The plight of not having children did weigh heavily on Hannah and caused her to be sorrowful in her spirit. So Hannah went to the Lord with her problem. Her reaction to her sorrow is found in verse 10-11, “And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept sore. And she vowed a vow...” The vow was that if she had a man child he would be dedicated for a special ministry for the Lord.
We also find in verse 15 that Hannah was bold in her trust of the Lord when she defended herself to the priest Eli by explaining that she wasn’t drunk but rather pouring her soul out to the Lord.
IV. How Should a Women Without Child Approach the Situation
Let me say I’m all in favor of getting medical help to assist with pregnancy if that is possible, but one foremost needs to trust God and leave the situation in God’s hands. In verse 11, when Hannah made that vow, she said the word “if”. Many women struggling with infertility will eventually be blessed with a child, but not everyone who prays for children will receive them. The cold facts are some women will go through their child bearing years without a child. It’s usually not a spiritual problem, it’s biological. The miracle of childbirth needs to be entrusted to God’s hands.
Next, you need to realize that you are a woman of great worth whether or not you have a child. In verse 16 (NASB) Hannah says to Eli, “Do not consider your maidservant as a worthless woman...” I imagine there was the temptation for Hannah to consider herself worthless unless she had children. It was very important in Hannah’s time to have children for both honor and economic security. If you feel that same pressure in 2000, I encourage you to lift your head up high and realize that God loves you for who you are not what you do. Whether your have children or do not have children you are a woman of great worth. And for all the single woman here today I want you to know you are of great worth whether you get married or not.
Conclusion
Hannah’s story has a positive implication for us all. Hannah rejoiced when she presented her son Samuel for the Lord’s service and she said, “For this boy I prayed, and the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of Him. So I also dedicated him to the Lord; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the Lord. And he worshipped the Lord there.” (verse 27-28). That’s a powerful dedication. We all should be dedicated like Samuel. The key to remember on this Mother’s Day is that whether you are a mother, a married women without children, an unmarried women, or a man or boy, we are called on this day to dedicate our life to the Lord. And if one isn’t in a right relationship with God, all the children in the world won’t take away that empty feeling in the heart. Nothing could make our Christian mothers happier and nothing could please God more than if each of us would seriously dedicate our lives to God in a deeper and more fuller way today. That really is the most important issue in life. When we get to judgment day, God will not ask us how many children we had, but he will ask us if we are his child!
