SEATING OF GUESTS
SEATING OF MOTHERS
SONG –
LIGHTING OF SIDE CANDLES BY MOTHERS
PROCESSIONAL
WELCOME (TO GUESTS)
You have been honored by the invitation of a young man and a young woman to share in one of the happiest and holiest moments of their lives. You are their guests and the guests of this church.
The wedding ceremony is not just a social occasion with a religious touch thrown in. It is a service of worship from beginning to end, in which vows are made, prayers are offered, and a blessing is given.
There is a wonderful verse in the Bible that says, "All things are ready. Come to the feast." A lot of preparation has been put into this time, including God's part in preparing to bring Eric & Cyndra together. It is God who has given us life, love, family and marriage. It is only right to invite God into this time and into this family.
PRAYER
Please be seated and bow your heads with me as we pray.
Dear Heavenly Father, we know that you are never an unwanted guest, that you do not come where you are not wanted. We can choose to live our life and marriage with or without you. Father, at this time we invite you into this family. We are here to celebrate the love of Eric & Cyndra. We know that you have brought them together. We pray that you will be the foundation and bond of their love. Help them to grow in their love for one another and for you with every day that passes, accepting one another as a love gift from you. Help them now to sense your presence and to savor these moments. We ask that you be a part of this ceremony, that you look with favor upon it and bless this marriage. We ask this in the name of Jesus our Lord, Amen.
"WHO GIVES THIS WOMAN TO WED THIS MAN?"
SONG: “TWO PEOPLE”
MESSAGE TO COUPLE – SCRIPTURE
Eric & Cyndra, this is your day! The day you have long awaited to begin. This is a day of great delight, not just for you but for all who have watched you both fall and grow in love.
(Take a deep breath and relax. This is meant to be a time of great joy, not a time of great stress.)
Questions about love, marriage and sex were posed to kids ages 5 to 10. Here are a few of their responses:
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?
(Judy, 8) “Eight-four. Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.”
WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?
(Jim, 10) “You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, ‘cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.”
HOW CAN PEOPLE MAKE LOVE LAST?
(Roger, 8) “Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.”
At your rehearsal dinner, I collected some advice on making love last from some of your friends and family. Here are some of their comments:
Cyndra’s Grandma said, “Live by the golden rule. Never go to bed angry. Kiss and make up.”
Russ said, “I’d say even if you’re not angry, kiss and make up . . . it’s fun!”
Eric, your 5-year-old cousin, Elle, said, “God will help them. And they can kiss and hug a lot.”
Your mom said, “Many babies for Granny Church! Because nothing is greater than the love of children and being a family.”
And your Gram and Granddad said, “Don’t get a dog.”
Eric and Cyndra, I want to emphasize that your success together depends not so much on the set of circumstances you have been provided, the environment, your feelings, or even on finding the right person, as much as it does on BEING the right person.
And now is the best time to lay the proper foundation for a rock-solid marriage.
Nowadays, you can get bombarded with advice given in books, and talk shows, and infomercials about relationships, communication and money management. These are important issues, but God, the maker of marriages, also has given instructions for healthy relationships and marriages, and His teachings have been confirmed by those who have followed them and have been happily married for years.
The best advice I’ve ever read on love is found in Revelation 2:4-5. The context of this passage is about Christians whose love has grown cold for Jesus. But I believe Jesus’ advice on renewing love is the best I’ve ever heard, and it applies to marital love also. Here is what Jesus says, “Yet I hold this against you; You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Turn back and do the things you did at first.
THE THINGS YOU DID TO CAPTURE EACH OTHER’S LOVE ARE THE THINGS YOU NEED TO DO TO KEEP EACH OTHER’S LOVE. YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE YOUR LOVE DIMINISH TO APPLY THIS VERSE. THE SECRET IS TO ESTABLISH GOOD HABITS FROM THE BEGINNING AND DON’T DEPART FROM THEM.
Here are things most people do when they grow in love with each other:
EVERYDAY SAY, “I LOVE YOU”
When couples first come together, they are good at telling each other “I love you.” Keep this habit up. Most of the time this will be easy. But there will be some days when you won’t feel a lot of love for your partner. These are the days you must say, “I love you.” So on those days you don’t feel love say, “I love you.” This provides a great since of security – it says you will always be around –in good times and in bad – just as you are about to promise to each other.
Cyndra, your friend, Jen Bartholomew said, “There is no such thing as too many kisses or saying “I love you” too many times.” That’s good advice on keeping love alive.
EVERYDAY TALK AND LISTEN TO EACH OTHER
James 1:19 says, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Cyndra, your friend Stacy said it this way, “Never scream at one another unless the house is on fire.” And her husband Darrell said, “Never be too proud to say, “I’m sorry.”
When people first come to love each other, it is normally because they feel safe to speak with each other about who they really are and what they really think. Unfortunately, many times people quit creating that sense of safeness to share. Don’t let this happen to you. Try everyday to create a safe place to talk and listen to each other. You can fight and disagree, but don’t be mean. And really try to listen to understand and compromise where you can.
EVERYDAY DO SOMETHING KIND FOR EACH OTHER
Philippians 2:3-4 says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should not only look to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
On my wedding day, my brother gave my wife and me some good advice on how to apply this verse. While giving the wedding reception toast, my brother said that every morning he made it his daily goal to out-serve his wife. He encouraged Julie and me to try to out-serve one another.
You're probably both thinking "That's good advice." You're probably also tempted to turn to each other and say "Did you hear that? You're supposed to out-serve me!"
Well, it is good advice – when you apply it to yourself. I encourage you to try to out serve one another.
(I'm compelled to encourage you also to apply this principle beyond yourselves. You are a good-looking couple; you aren't in need of anything materially; you both were raised in a healthy family. Both of you have many advantages that a lot of people don't have. Pass your blessings on to others.)
EVERYDAY HAVE THE LOVE OF GOD AT THE CENTER OF YOUR MARRIAGE
Cyndra, your Mom said, “Allow Christ to always be the center of your lives and through his grace and his love, your love will remain strong for one another.”
There are many kinds of love -- just as there are many kinds of vitamins. If you want well-balanced diet, you don't say "Well, I'm getting so much Vitamin A, I don't need any Vitamin C."
So it is with love in marriage. It isn't enough to have a lot of one kind of love. You need a good balance of the right kinds of love.
Unfortunately the English language has just one word for love. The same word is used to describe everything from the highest act of sacrifice to the most polluted form of lust. The New Testament was written in Greek, and it uses three different words for love. They are: eros, philia, and agape: meaning physical love, emotional love, and spiritual love. Every good marriage needs all three.
Eros is romantic love. It is inspired by the biological structure of human nature. It seeks sensual expression. But it is far more than just the actual act of sex. It is what gets our heart pounding when we see the other person after a time of absence. It is what inspires the longing to hold the other person or even the desire to playfully wrestle. It is a vital and important love among the three loves of Christian marriage.
Philia is the second love of marriage. It is friendly love. It is motivated by common interests and goals. It is what is meant when the husband and wife say they "like" each other. It's expressed in the feeling that you'd rather be doing nothing, as long as it's with that person, than to be doing anything else with anybody else. It's what you mean when you think that your spouse will be fun to live with. You are to be more than lovers; you are also to be friends -- hopefully best friends. You are meant to enjoy each other's company.
The third essential love in marriage is agape. Agape is a self-giving, unconditional love. It is a love that finds its motivating power, not in the loved but in the lover.
Agape is a self-giving, unconditional love. It is a love that finds its motivating power, not in the loved but in the lover.
It is not the kind of love that you can either "fall" into or out of. It is not something that happens to you; it is something you make happen. It is a decision.
The other two loves are a "because of" kinds of love: They say "I love you because -- you are attractive, or because you make me laugh, or because of how I feel when I'm with you." To be sure, there is nothing wrong with this.
But Agape love is an "even though" kind of love. It says "I love you even though you hurt me, or even though I'm not attracted to you right now, or even though I don't like how you make me feel when I'm around you." It is the ultimate in unconditional, tenacious, sacrificial love. And its source comes from God.
It is like the Energizer Rabbit; it's a love that keeps on going and going and going, even when your partner is not being particularly lovable.
This is the love that is described in 1 Corinthians 13. It says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
There is a simple exercise you can do to apply this verse to your life and marriage to see how you are doing. Whenever the word "love" or its pronoun appears, substitute your name.
For example:
"Eric is patient, Eric is kind. Eric does not envy,
Eric does not boast, Eric is not proud. Cyndra is not rude, Cyndra is not self-seeking, Cyndra is not easily angered, Cyndra keeps no record of wrongs...." and so on.
It is hard to live up to, but it is worth aspiring to.
“They say that you marry the one you love. My advice is to love the one you marry.” Bob Church.
The vows you are about to take are an expression of this kind of love you are to have for each other.
EXCHANGE OF VOWS (couple join hands and face each other)
With that reminder, please face each other, joining your right hands, and state your vows to each other, remembering that you are not merely making a pledge, but promising to fulfill them faithfully in life.
I, Eric, take thee, Cyndra, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part, that we may become one in spirit, one in mind, one in affection, and above all things, one in Christ.
I, Cyndra, take thee, Eric, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part, that we may become one in spirit, one in mind, one in affection, and above all things, one in Christ.
EXCHANGE OF RINGS: "May I have the rings?" (Couple lets go of hands)
Eric, as you place this ring on Cyndra’s left ring finger, please further clarify your commitment to her with these words:
"This ring I give to you/ as a pure symbol of our commitment. /
May you wear it with joy. / May you never doubt my devotion./
May you always be inspired by my love."
Cyndra, as you place this ring on Eric’s left ring finger, please further clarify your commitment to him with these words:.
"This ring I give to you/ as a pure symbol of our commitment./
May you wear it with joy./ May you never doubt my devotion./
May you always be inspired by my love."
UNITY CANDLE
Let us now have the lighting of the One candle, which is to picture the blending and bonding of your two lives into one.
SONG WHILE CANDLE IS BEING LIT – “Lord’s Prayer”
PRAYER
Please pray with me.
Our Father, we come today asking Your blessing upon these two lives and this home being established. You have made us so that we yearn for someone whom we can love and whose love we can receive.
We are thankful for the love we see here, and even more, for the love you have for us. May we not take your love for granted.
We pray that your love be the shield and stay for Eric & Cyndra. When joy comes, may they share it together. When sorrow threatens, may they bear it together. In gladness or in tears, may they ever draw closer to each other and nearer to you.
Grant them patience, gentleness, endurance, and understanding. May their love continue through life and finally blend into the life eternal.
In Christ Jesus name we pray, amen.
PRONOUNCEMENT OF MARRIAGE
Inasmuch as you have consented together in wedlock and have given and received rings in token of your pledge, I now declare you husband and wife in the Name of Jesus Christ our Lord.
What God has joined together, let man not separate.
Eric "YOU MAY KISS YOUR BRIDE"
INTRODUCTION (couple to face their guests)
It is a privilege to present to you the new and improved:
Mr. and Mrs. Eric & Cyndra Church.
RECESSIONAL
