Q How many of you know what an acrostic is?
We use acrostics all the time. An example of an acrostic is "MADD" MADD stands for something. It stands for Mothers Against Drunk Driving.
In the Bible acrostics are also used. They are far more complex. In Proverbs 31:10-31 an acrostic is used that sequentially incorporates the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet. Every verse of todayâs portion of scripture begins with a successively different letter of the Hebrew alphabet. The question is WHY?
The topic of Proverbs 31:10-31 concerns the characteristics of what would seem to be the perfect wife. By using the alphabet as an acrostic guide we are getting what we would say to be the A to Z of the characteristics of an excellent wife.
Now before we get started let me assure you that since this is going to be a sermon on the characteristics of an excellent wife that within the next 2 months that I will bring to you a sermon on the characteristics of an excellent husband.
Q What characteristics do you think are needed for the making of an excellent wife?
READ PROVERBS 31:10-31
One of the things you probably noted is that the woman of Proverbs 31 is quite healthy, wealthy, and influential. She is a lady of some position. Obviously not everyone can be exactly like her in all respects.
Another thing to tuck into the back of your minds is this: The book of Proverbs is all about wisdom and wise living. In the book of Proverbs wisdom is often referred to as a "she". In a way the woman of Proverbs 31 personifies wisdom. The woman of Proverbs 31 is shown to be one who has put into practice all of the wisdom teachings of the book of Proverbs. Hence the Proverbs 31 woman is shown to have the fruit of her wisdom (influence, respect, wealth, joy, etc)
Ultimately the woman of Proverbs 31 by principle, examples to us all, the way in which a wise person ömale or female- will live and carry out their lives.
Notwithstanding what was just said my goal in preaching this sermon is to encourage you who are women here today to ascribe to be Proverbs 31 women and if married; the kind of wife the Proverbs 31 woman is.
For you who are men: Ask yourself this question: how can I lovingly encourage the women in my life (daughter or wife, etc) to be a Proverbs 31 woman.
1. IN AND OF YOURSELF YOU CAN NEVER BE A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN
Proverbs 31 women just donât happen: in Christ they become Proverbs 31 women.
v.10 "Who can find a virtuous/noble/honorable wife?"
Verse 10 starts off somewhat ambiguously. There is a suggestion that the woman to be described is indeed an elusive creature. This fits rather perfectly with Proverbs 20:6 which says of men "Most men will proclaim each his own goodness. But who can find a faithful man?"
There is a certain rarity to perfect men and women? In fact there are none. But Godâs standards are in no way relaxed because of our inability. What is highlighted is our need of a Savior; one who can make us into the people we have in Christ, been predestined to be.
2. THE WOMAN WHO IS LIKE or who becomes like THE WOMAN OF PROVERBS 31 IS A WOMAN OF GREAT WORTH. v.10
Q What man wouldnât want a wife like the woman of Prov. 31?
Q What godly woman wouldnât want to become a Proverbs 31 woman?
Ruth was a early Prov. 31 woman, so to was Davidâs wife Abigail
In this day of low self esteem hereâs good news: Proverbs 31 women are women of worth.
Men: YOUR Christian WIFE is A PRECIOUS TREASURE who in Christ grows daily in value
A godly Christian wife is a precious treasure worth far more rubies.
At times us men who are husbands donât treat our wives with the respect, care and dignity they are worthy of. At times we treat our wives more in the same manner we would treat a sack of potatoes: rather than treating them as the precious treasure that they are.
Ladies: At times you might be more of a diamond in the rough, a diamond you still are. A diamond that God himself is shaping and polishing, that you might be a radiant Christian and a Proverbs 31 woman.
3. A married Proverbs 31 woman has the complete trust of her husband v.11
Trust in relationships is hard to establish and easy to lose, but here our text speaks of a virtuous wife who completely trusts his wife. His trust has obviously been build upon her impeccable track record.
Q How many husbands and wives mistrust each other and feel that the other is out for their own benefit?
Evidence of the Proverbs 31 woman having her husbands complete trust abounds in our text: He has entrusted everything to her.********
-no concerns regarding her management of the home and its wealth. She invests, she employs, she sells, she makes, etc. According to v.27 "She watches over the affairs of her household"÷All aspects to do with their estate and the home life, she has jurisdiction over and in not in one iota is her husband worried or concerned.
Q How many husbands spent time irritating their wives when it comes to the affairs of their estate and home life?
-2nd guessing the discipline of the children
-2nd guessing the groceries bought
-2nd guessing money spent or invested or purchases made
-etc etc
Husbands got to learn to trust their wives. Weâve also got to learn to let our wives do things independently at times.
A few years back I was counseling a man who was fighting with his wife in regards to the running of the house. She was a stay home mom and he worked all day. When at home he felt that he should have just as much and even more say than her regarding how to decorate, what to cook, etc, etc. Thereâs no such conflict in the household of a Proverbs 31 woman. Her castle is her home and she is its keeper. Her husband, being out all day has his own domain to rule and she hers.
My counsel to the guy I was counseling was this: You have a workplace in which you get to make decisions all day. Your wifeâs workplace is the home, stop interfering with her and let her do her job, let her have a bit of autonomy and the same kind of control that you enjoy in your workplace.
The picture of our text is that a Proverbs 31 woman is the perfect helpmate to her husband. Back in the garden of Eden God created Eve to be Adamâs helper÷not that she was inferior, but that he was unable of himself to do the job that God had given him to do. As his helper she came along side of him to help him do what he could not do on his own.
4. As a helpmate and Proverbs 31 woman you are concerned with your husbands well being and advancement v.11-12
The woman of Proverbs 31 does all that she does because ultimately she is wise, but she also did it all for the benefit of her husband and family.
The Proverbs 31 woman is motivated to serve and love husband and to see him rise up to become the kind of man God intends him to be.
Our text clearly shows that the woman of Proverbs 31 has freed up her husband to succeed, not to the effect that she didnât succeed, but with the result that both of them succeeded together.*****
Q Isnât this what a marriage is to be all about?
Verse 23 shows how the Proverbs 31 woman enabled her husband to succeed
Note v.23 "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land"
Verse 23, to our ears, makes it appear that her husband is some sort of slacker who hangs out with the old boys all day playing checkers. NOT SO!
To sit in the gates of a city in those days meant that you were a leader in the city, you were a decision maker, you were an influential man, you served as an administrator of justice.
Our text is pretty clear that the reason a virtuous wifeâs husband rises up to a place of influence is because of her. Her wisdom. Her wisdom expressed in the things that she does.
An old phrase is this: "Behind every great man stands a great woman" This is what Proverbs 31 affirms
Some have made fun of this and have instead declared: "Behind every successful man stands a proud but surprised wife."
All joking aside, more often than not, for a married man to succeed he must have at his side a godly, industrious, trusted, helpmate of a wife.
In my own life I know that my wife enables me to succeed. She tirelessly labors behind the scenes helping me and making me look better than I am. Sue is concerned for my growth and success. I also realize that if Sue wasnât the Christian woman that she is that she could just as easily make me look quite bad. To often I have heard women running their husbands down. A Proverbs 31 woman seeks to make her husband look good.
5. Let us further consider what a Proverbs 31 woman and wife ought to look like and become in Christ
Industrious: Throughout this whole text the woman in question is seemingly tireless in her efforts. Sheâs using her hands, her arms, her mouth, eyes in her continual work. Throughout the book of Proverbs we are continually warned that the lazy man will come to nothing. Over and over again it talks of the lazy man. The woman in our text, who personifies wisdom, is what: industrious and the result of her industry: material success÷which Proverbs at times associates with hard work
Prepared: has foresight: Ready for the snow and rain. Prepares for tomorrow. Again a theme in Proverbs is what: being prepared for the needs of tomorrow, planning: Here, the woman in our text who personifies wisdom is what: prepared.
Generous: v.20 Helps the needy. Concerned for those who have nothing.
A teacher: to her children but not exclusively v.26
A woman of dignity:v.25. I think this is an important point: All of us have bumped into some very undignified men and women. They are crude, rude, self seeking, brash, arrogant, combative, uncontrolled people. A woman of dignity is none of those things.
We donât have time for this point today but without a doubt this text raises the following questions.****
1. In a marriage are there certain gender roles that ought to be followed. For example: is there a specific role and job for a man and is there a specific role and job for a woman?
2. Should a married womanâs primary domain be the home? --- the woman of Proverbs 31 is said to be "the watcher over the affairs of her household"
We, meaning you and me, ought not to brush over these questions quickly. These are very important questions that as men and women of God we must seriously and prayerfully ponder.
6. THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTERISTIC OF A WIFE and PROVERBS 31 WOMAN IS THAT SHE IS GODLY.
As noted, the woman/wife of Proverbs 31 epitomizes wisdom. The woman of Proverbs 31 lives and breathes the collected wisdom of the whole of the book of Proverbs (compare Proverbs 8:11 with 31:10).
The key to a woman being a Proverbs 31 woman concerns her relationship with God.
In v.30 it says "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain/fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised"
The woman of Proverbs 31 has been praised throughout our whole text. A special acrostic based on the Hebrew alphabet has been written for her.
The woman of Proverbs 31 is who she is because she is right with God.
In Proverbs 1:7 says "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline"
Above all the woman of Proverbs 31 is a wise woman. She personifies wisdom and as such she is of course right with God.
The first step of any wise person is to consider where they stand with God. The Bible says that when it comes to our standing with God that in and of ourselves we stand before him as sinners under judgment. "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God". Yet good news: Jesus came and died upon the cross that their might be a remedy, a cure for our sins. When you come to Jesus in faith and repentance he takes you as his child and forgives your sins and you are hence reckoned as being right with God.
The wise person gets right with God while they can. The foolish person despises the gift of God and suffers for it.
As a wife, as a woman: the closer you grow to God and the deeper your walk with Him, the more attractive and beautiful youâll be. As a godly woman youâll probably also attract ungodly men, but here the Bible instructs by saying "Donât throw your pearls before swine". A godly woman is to marry a godly man.
My last point:
7. PROVERBS 31 WOMEN ARE WORTHY OF PRAISE v.28-31
Our text speaks of a Proverbs 31 woman receiving blessing/applause from children and praise from husband. Also "A woman who fears the LORD is to be praised" v.30
The praises given to such a woman are here described as deserved. The praiseworthy aspects of her life and work are ultimately tied to the fact that she is a godly woman of wisdom.
Proverbs 31 women are worthy of the reward they receive. There works and deeds speak for them and draw attention to her wisdom and godly beauty and value.
Q Men, do you appreciate your wife as you ought? Have you told your wife how much you appreciate her? Kids: do you honor your mother as she deserves?
Q Men, do you know that your wife anticipates your words of appreciation?
Sometimes our wives donât feel that we appreciate them. They feel taken for granted and unrecognized. In the work place we receive recognition, advancement, appreciation for jobs well done. In the home a woman needs some of the same and so to does the husband.
CONCLUSION
Matthew Henry has said "Proverbs 31 is the mirror against which every Christian woman must stand and face herself"
The goal of every woman and man ought to be a woman and man of wisdom. In the book of Proverbs wisdom is characterized as a woman. The wife and woman of Proverbs 31 is the embodiment/ the living breathing example of one who lives out the wisdom sayings of the book of Proverbs.
The woman described in Proverbs 31 is a woman of unparalleled value. To find for a wife a woman like this is to find a great treasure indeed. (see also Prov. 12:4; 18:22; 19:14)
1. In and of yourself you cannot be a Proverbs 31 woman
2. Proverbs 31 women are women of great worth
3. A married Proverbs 31 woman has the complete trust of her husband
4. As your husbands helpmate and as a Proverbs 31 woman, your concern is that your husband succeeds.
5. A Proverbs 31 woman seeks to make her husband look good.
6. Proverbs 31 women are industrious, prepared, generous, teachers, and women of dignity.
7. The most important characteristic of a wife and a Proverbs 31 woman is that she be godly 8. Proverbs 31 women are worthy of praise.
To be the woman of Proverbs 31 you must be
1. Committed to God. A follower of Jesus Christ
2. Be completely trustworthy in your husbands eyes. The husbands trust in Proverbs 31 is seen in his entrusting to his wife the management of the affairs of his house (hiring, buying, investing, teaching the children, etc)
3. Continually seek your husbands success and advancement
4. Be industrious and a hard worker.
5. Is to be recognized for her achievements
6. Prepared
7. Generous
8. Frees her husband up to be a success in the area of his domain. Her goals are not above his. As husband and wife there goals correspond and are complementary. She has responsibilities as does he. Her responsibilities ultimately seem home centred÷albeit they quite often take her out of the actual home. His seem to be centred out of the home.
