Losing Self Without Losing Ourselves
1. A master violin maker once took a warped, damaged instrument into his shop. The wood was still beautiful, but it had been bent out of shape by years of misuse. Instead of discarding it, he carefully loosened the strings, adjusted the frame, and reset the tension. When he finished, the violin looked similar—but when he played it, the sound was completely different. Rich. Clear. Alive. The violin didn’t lose its identity—it finally became what it was meant to be.
2. I am struggling with some challenging questions based on verses like Luke 9:23, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”
a. He is not talking about our day-to-day burdens and challenges.
b. He is talking about dying to self.
3. If we crucify the self… what happens to who we are? Do we disappear? Or do we finally come alive?
I. The Death of Self: What Actually Dies?
Galatians 2:20, “20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
Romans 6:6, “We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.”
A. The “old self” is not your personality
B. It is your sinful nature as ruler that demands control apart from God
Along the dangerous reefs of the Caribbean, sailors told stories of ships that never made it home, not because of storms, but because of deception. On dark nights, a faint light would appear along the shoreline. To a weary captain, it looked like safety—a harbor, a guide, a way through the danger. But some of those lights weren’t what they seemed. Instead of guiding ships to safety, they drew them toward hidden reefs. By the time the crew realized the truth, it was too late—the hull was torn open, and everything was lost.
Whether every detail of those stories is true or not, the lesson is unmistakable: not every light leads you home. Lighthouses were originally intended to give true direction. The one controlling the lighthouse decides whether the light will be genuine or deceptive.
That’s exactly how the enemy works. He doesn’t always attack with darkness—he often disguises himself with something that looks right, feels right, even promises safety. But a false light doesn’t guide, it destroys. Jesus said in Matthew 6:23, “If the light in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” And Paul warned in 2 Corinthians 11:14 that Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.
We can follow God, the enemy, or ourselves. The only one who promises to correctly and safely guide us is our Father.
In thinking of how we die to self and sin, we know that God doesn’t kill our identity. He removes our rebellion.
II. The Life of Christ: What Replaces the Old Self?
Philippians 2:13, “for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”
John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
A. Christ doesn’t replace you—He reorients and empowers you
B. You still think, act, choose—but now:
o New desires
o New direction
o New strength
When I traveled to Israel, I had to get electric adapters for my various devices. The American plugs wouldn’t work in Israeli outlets. Like a lamp plugged into a new power source—same lamp, different energy.
C. “Not I, but Christ” means new source, not erased self.
III. The Redemption of Personality: You Become More You
Ephesians 2:10, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
A. God created your personality intentionally
B. Sin distorts it; Christ restores it
C. Biblical Examples
• Peter: still bold, now courageous for truth
• John: still relational, now anchored in love
• Paul: still intense, now driven by mission
[Like a dirty window being cleaned—the glass was always there, but now the light shines through clearly.
D. In Christ, we don’t become less of ourselves; we become our truest selves.
IV. The Daily Tension: Living Crucified and Alive
Galatians 5:17, “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”
A. This is not a one-time event—it’s a daily decision
B. The flesh still pulls; the Spirit leads
[Yogi Berra had his “Yogi-isms.” He once said, “When you come to the fork in the road, take it.” Like a fork in the road you face every day—comfort vs. conviction, self vs. surrender.
Crucifixion is not a moment. It’s a mindset. “.... let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)
V. Faith and Freedom Connection
A. A nation reflects the condition of its people.
o Congressman James Garfield said at the country’s centennial, “Now more than ever before, the people are responsible for the character of their Congress. If that body be ignorant, reckless, and corrupt, it is because the people tolerate ignorance, recklessness, and corruption. If it be intelligent, brave, and pure, it is because the people demand these high qualities.”
o In essence: “We don’t get the government we complain about—we get the government we tolerate.”
B. If individuals live for self ? corruption grows
C. If individuals surrender to Christ ? liberty strengthens
Like a foundation under a house, you don’t see it, but everything stands or falls on it.
[Freedom survives when people are governed from within.
B. Franklin: “Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters.”
Practical Applications
1. Examine your “old self” areas
. Where are you still insisting on control?
o Surrender those specifically
2. Ask daily: “Who is leading today: the enemy, myself, or Christ?”
o Make this a morning prayer habit
3. Act on conviction, not comfort
. Obedience clarifies identity
4. Lean into your God-given personality
. Don’t suppress it, polish and sanctify it
5. Live with purpose, not passivity
. “Christ in me” should produce visible action
[A soldier once returned home after years of war. At first, he struggled to adjust. His instincts were shaped by survival, not peace. But over time, under the guidance of wise mentors, he learned to live differently. He didn’t stop being strong; he learned how to use his strength rightly. That’s the Christian life. You don’t lose who you are; you learn to live under the right command.
Closing Prayer
Father, teach us what it truly means to die to ourselves and live in Christ. Strip away the parts of us that resist You, our pride, our fear, our need for control. But Lord, do not erase who You created us to be, restore it. Refine it. Redeem it.
Give us the courage to surrender daily, the wisdom to follow Your leading, and the strength to live out our faith with clarity and conviction. May Christ be seen in us—not as a replacement of who we are, but as the life that defines us.
And may our lives personally, in our families, and in our nation, reflect the freedom that comes from being fully Yours.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
