Introduction:
A. One day while delivering a rather dry sermon, a minister noticed that he was putting his congregation to sleep.
1. To wake folks up, he declared, “I lived with a woman for over 17 years who was not my wife!”
2. As you can imagine, the sleepy heads in the pews quickly woke up and paid attention.
3. He then clarified, “Well, the woman was my mother” and he proceeded to talk about the effect his mother had on him.
4. It so happened that another preacher was present that day and was amused by the wit of the preacher and made a mental note to use that same statement back at his church.
5. So, on his first Sunday back home in his own church, the preacher opened with the same line he had heard the other preacher use: “For 17 years I lived with a woman who was not my wife!”
6. An awkward silence lingered as the preacher realized that he had forgotten the punch line.
7. Finally, he added, “And for the life of me I can’t remember who she was.”
B. Today, we are going to look an episode in David’s life when his anger almost got the best of him and how a good woman came into David’s life and saved the day.
1. Like David, many of us have had amazing spiritual women full of wisdom who have made a huge difference in our lives.
2. The last thing we want to do is to forget them, nor forget the blessing they have been to us.
3. Another thing we don’t want to forget are the spiritual lessons that we have learned from them, from others, and from experience.
The Story:
A. Chapter 25 of 1 Samuel opens with the announcement of the death of Samuel the prophet.
1. The Bible says: Now Samuel died, and all Israel assembled and mourned for him; and they buried him at his home in Ramah. (25:1)
2. The entire nation gathered and mourned the passing of Samuel with profound emotion.
3. Samuel had been the last of the judges to guide Israel under God, and in his own right he had been a pretty good judge.
4. When the people had asked that he be replaced by a king, Samuel had warned them about the consequences of such a choice and now they were suffering the consequences of that choice.
5. Samuel had certainly played an important role in David’s life having anointed David as Israel’s next king and having been an important source of strength and comfort for David.
6. But now the great man of God was gone, and the nation mourned, and David mourned, although I’m sure he was not able to assemble with everyone else for the services.
B. As the story continues in this chapter, we are going to be introduced to a very rich, yet foolish man, named Nabal and his wise and beautiful wife, Abigail.
1. We are also going to see our hero, David, who had been modeling patience and self-restraint came very close to losing it all in a fit of anger.
C. So, let’s set the stage: Saul was still king and David was still on the run.
1. David and his six hundred fighting men had been moving about behind the scenes, fighting various bands of robbers and raiding parties in the wilderness.
2. And in the process, they often protected shepherds from attack from those bandits.
3. The wilderness of those days was a very dangerous place, what you might call a high-crime district.
4. Bandits frequented the wilderness preying on travelers and plundering the defenseless.
5. One of Jesus’ most famous parables is about a traveler in the Judean wilderness who got robbed and beaten by thieves – The Parable of the Good Samaritan.
6. So, David and his men had been offering their services, like an unofficial neighborhood watch group or security squad.
D. Some modern commentators have accused David of working a “protection racket” like the mob, where you extort money from people on the pretext of “protecting” them, but in reality you are threatening to be the one who inflicts the damage if they don’t pay.
1. But I do not believe that that was what was going on, and the text certainly doesn’t insinuate that.
2. Nabal might have thought that’s what David was doing, but he was wrong.
3. David and his band of men were fugitives, but they weren’t criminals.
4. They had in fact been offering their services in hope of a generous response from the owner.
E. Let’s pick up the story in verse 2, “A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband, a Calebite, was surly and mean in his dealings. While David was in the desert, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep.” (25:2-4)
1. According to the customs of that day, at the time the sheep were sheared it was common for the owner of the animals to set aside a portion of the profit he made to give to those who had protected his shepherds while they were out in the fields.
2. It was kind of like tipping a waiter – there was no written law saying you had to do it, but it was a way of showing gratitude and compensating them for a job well done.
3. David and his men had been doing a good job, Nabal was harvesting his wool, and so in David’s mind, it was payday. As we will see, Nabal thought otherwise.
F. So, David sent his men to collect, and let’s see how that went.
1. The Bible says: So he sent ten young men and said to them, “Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. Say to him: ‘Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours! Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my young men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’ ”
When David’s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David’s name. Then they waited. Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” David’s men turned around and went back. (25:5-12)
2. When we first were introduced to Nabal a few verses back, we learned that he was a rich man – the actual Hebrew word that is translated “very wealthy” means “heavy.”
a. In other words, Nabal was loaded and he didn’t get that way by giving his money away.
3. We were also told that he was a hard, stubborn, belligerent type of a man who was also evil in his business dealings.
5. So, because Nabal was demanding and dishonest, we shouldn’t be surprised that he responded like he did to David’s men.
G. How did David react to this insult?
1. The Bible says: When they arrived, they reported every word. David said to his men, “Put on your swords!” So they put on their swords, and David put on his. About four hundred men went up with David, while two hundred stayed with the supplies. (25:12-13)
2. Are you surprised by David’s reaction to this insult from Nabal? I am!
3. After all, isn’t this the same guy who refused to retaliate against Saul even though Saul was trying to kill him?
4. David who had been able to see murderous Saul as God’s anointed can see nothing in Nabal’s curses but someone who needs to be removed from this world.
5. So, David gave full vent to his anger and moved in Nabal’s direction with great force.
H. Have you ever over-reacted like that before?
1. You’ve likely heard the saying, “It’s like killing a fly with a bazooka!”
2. Look at this cartoon – “I heard it was you who parked next to me and put a dent in my car door. Where do you want your vaporized ashes sent?” (That’s an over-reaction, wouldn’t you say?)
3. Uncontrolled anger can cause us to over-react and do great damage.
4. Spoiler alert: Thankfully, as we will see, someone intervened and prevented David from making a terrible mistake?
I. Meanwhile…back at the ranch…
1. The Bible says: One of the servants told Nabal’s wife Abigail: “David sent messengers from the desert to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them. Yet these men were very good to us. They did not mistreat us, and the whole time we were out in the fields near them nothing was missing. Night and day they were a wall around us all the time we were herding our sheep near them. Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.”
Abigail lost no time. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. Then she told her servants, “Go on ahead; I’ll follow you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal.
As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. She fell at his feet and said: “My lord, let the blame be on me alone. Please let your servant speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. May my lord pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name is Fool, and folly goes with him. But as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my master sent.
“Now since the LORD has kept you, my master, from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, may your enemies and all who intend to harm my master be like Nabal. And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my master, be given to the men who follow you. Please forgive your servant’s offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD’s battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live. Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. When the LORD has done for my master every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel, my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the LORD has brought my master success, remember your servant.” (25:14-20, 23-31)
2. It’s interesting to see that Nabal’s servant went to Abigail with his concerns and not to Nabal.
3. Why did he do it that way? Because Nabal was unapproachable. One of the most foolish things that any of us can become is unapproachable, but that’s what fools are.
4. But in contrast to Nabal, Abigail was full of wisdom, and anyone could approach her.
5. She knew her husband’s weaknesses and she moved quickly to protect him and everyone else.
6. Ladies, I don’t think this scripture should be used to defend a regular practice of doing things behind your husband’s back, but it seems that this was absolutely necessary on this occasion.
J. Abigail said and did all the right things as she approached David.
1. She was humble and tactful – she fell on her face before David and six times, called David “my lord”, called herself “your maidservant” eight times, and she took all the blame on herself.
2. Notice also her faith and her spiritual insight – I don’t know where she got all this information and insight, perhaps directly from God – somehow she knew who David was, she knew what was going on in his life, and she knew who he would become when God’s plans were finished.
a. She also knew something of the terrible effect that this needless violence would have on David’s conscience.
K. How did David respond to Abigail? The Bible says: David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. Otherwise, as surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.’ Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, ‘Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.” (25:32-35)
1. David truly was a man after God’s own heart.
2. David had gotten his sword ready and he was racing toward evil with the fever of anger and revenge flowing through his veins.
3. And yet when he saw this woman, he stopped – most men in that kind of mood would have simply passed her by with a sneer of contempt, but not David.
4. He stopped and listened without interrupting this woman he had never met before.
5. There in his moment of peril, David had sufficient spiritual perception to see that that brave woman was a messenger from the Lord.
L. And so, mission accomplished, right? Everybody won.
1. David and his men went home full of food and felt vindicated and all the wiser.
2. And Abigail went home and her husband put his arm around her and said, “Honey, thanks for saving all of our lives.” Right? Wrong.
3. The Bible says: When Abigail went to Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she told him nothing until daybreak. Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober, his wife told him all these things, and his heart failed him and he became like a stone. About ten days later, the LORD struck Nabal and he died. (25:36-38)
4. Abigail had stood between her husband and death, but the fool was so drunk she couldn’t even tell him about it.
5. I wonder if she cried out to the Lord and cried herself to sleep that night realizing that she would never know what it was like to have a wise husband who truly appreciated her.
6. The next morning, after Nabal sobered up, she told him what had happened.
7. And what was his reaction? The guy had a stroke – literally – and 10 days later he died.
M. What did David do when he heard about what happened to Nabal?
1. The Bible says: When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Praise be to the LORD, who has upheld my cause against Nabal for treating me with contempt. He has kept his servant from doing wrong and has brought Nabal’s wrongdoing down on his own head.” Then David sent word to Abigail, asking her to become his wife. (25:39)
2. Abigail’s beauty and wisdom made her a fitting queen-to-be and so David married her.
3. Abigail was also now a rich widow and that might have helped David provide for his six hundred man army.
The Application:
A. What lessons can we take from today’s story that will benefit us as we try to serve the Lord?
1. Let’s consider a few lessons.
B. First and foremost, we learn the lesson that anger must be properly managed and directed.
1. Letting anger drive the train can get us into all kinds of trouble.
2. The old saying goes something like this, “Those who fly into a rage seldom make a safe landing.” How true that is!
3. With God’s help, we must determine that we are not going to let anger control us and our behavior.
4. When we find ourselves becoming angry we must stop and ask why we are angry.
5. It is helpful to try to figure out what is going on inside of us?
a. Are we angry because we really don’t feel well for some reason?
b. Are we angry because of something being done to us?
c. Are we frustrated with the attitudes or actions of others?
d. Are we angry because we are being threatened in some way?
e. Are we angry because we are not getting something we feel we deserve?
f. Are we angry because we believe we are being treated unjustly?
g. Are we angry because we feel someone is attempting to control our lives in what we perceive to be inappropriate ways?
h. Are we angry at ourselves because of a mistake we have made?
i. Are we angry because our pride is hurt?
j. We must ask ourselves: what is my anger telling me about myself and what is going on in my life?
k. The answer to those questions will help us solve the problem of uncontrolled anger.
6. The truth is: Anger is a God-given, necessary emotion.
a. Anger is a normal response to personal hurt and perceived injustice.
7. But anger can and must be managed and appropriately directed.
a. Proverbs 29:11, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”
b. James 1:19-20, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” We need to proceed slowly when angry.
c. Ephesians 4:26-27, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” We need to address anger and not let it simmer to a boiling point.
d. Ephesians 4:31-32, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgiveness is an important way of getting rid of bitterness and unresolved hostility.
8. God would not give us a command that we cannot carry out with His assistance.
9. God can help us look inside and see what it is that is fueling our anger, then diffuse it, and then learn to channel it appropriately.
B. Second, We learn something of the need to be approachable and teachable.
1. Take a look at this cartoon, “My door is always open, but only to those who stand in awe.”
2. I doubt that any of us are that arrogant, but how approachable are we?
3. I hope that all of us will allow God to help keep us flexible and teachable and approachable.
4. If someone has a word for a blind spot in our lives, then we are nothing but a fool if we ignore him or her.
5. Some of the best counsel we can receive should come from our spouse or our parents.
a. They should know us better than any other person on earth, and so we should welcome their insights, warnings and corrections.
6. The same is true with our closest friends, and our brothers and sisters in Christ.
7. Here are a couple of proverbs to live by:
a. Proverbs 12:1, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.”
b. Proverbs 19:20, “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.”
8. If we want to be wise and avoid difficulty and disaster, then we should welcome any helpful input, guidance, or correction that someone might have for us.
C. A final lesson we learn is that God is fully capable of doling out rewards and punishments – we don’t need to take matters into our own hands.
1. That was a lesson that we focused on last week as we saw David not exact revenge on Saul when he had more than one chance to do so.
2. God is the principal actor in David’s story and in ours as well.
3. Our job is to trust in the Lord and wait upon Him.
4. As we see in this story, if we will wait on the Lord and do what is right, then God has a way of working all things out in His own time and way.
5. Nabal had, indeed, mistreated David, the Lord’s anointed, and God punished him for His actions.
6. God did not need David to take that matter into His own hands.
7. So, in the end, David was kept from doing what was wrong, and Abigail did what was right, and both of them were blessed by the Lord.
8. What was true for them will also be true for us.
9. The battle is the Lord’s. It is His role to avenge and repay. He is the Righteous Judge.
10. We must simply trust and obey the Lord.
Resources:
David – A Man of Passion and Destiny, by Charles R. Swindoll, Word Publishing, 1997.
David I, by W. Phillip Keller, Word Books, 1985.
The Making of a Man of God, by Alan Redpath, Fleming H. Revell Company, 1962.
I and II Samuel, David F. Payne, The Daily Study Bible Series, Westminster Press, 1982
First and Second Samuel, J. Carl Laney, Everyman’s Bible Commentary, Moody Bible Institute, 1982.
First and Second Samuel, Eugene Peterson, Westminster Bible Companion, Westminster John Knox Press, 1999.
First and Second Samuel, Walter Brueggemann, Interpretation, John Knox Press, 1990.
