Taking responsibility
Luke 17:1 – 4
Rabbi Rev. Dr. Michael H. Koplitz
Luke 17:1 Now He said to His disciples, “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come,
but woe to one through whom they come! 2 “It is better for him if a millstone is
hung around his neck and he is thrown into the sea, than that he may cause one of
these little ones to sin. 3 “Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if
he repents, forgive him. 4 “And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns
to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”
Starting at the beginning of chapter 17 of the Gospel of Luke, verses 1 through 4, we
have a short narrative in which Jesus basically tells us that we must forgive people who
sin against us. He also asks us to be careful that we do not create what are called
stumbling blocks—things that prevent other people from seeing the love of Christ.
This is one of those passages that I have heard preached so many times in churches.
I’ve used it myself, and yet I rarely see any real change I people occur.
As I studied this passage in preparation for this message, I began to wonder, why don’t
we see forgiveness in our churches? Over a decade ago, a district secretary once said to
me that she felt the most unforgiving people were in the church. I can attest to that
after more than 25 years as a pastor. If I made a mistake, I was often told—either
directly or indirectly—that I would have to do ten things perfectly before people would
forgive me for that one mistake. That doesn’t sound anything like what Jesus says here
in Luke 17 or anywhere else in Scripture.
What Jesus is really saying is that if someone sins against you, you are to forgive them
immediately. In fact, Christian interpretation has taken this passage, along with the
“seventy times seven” passage in Matthew, and concluded that we are to forgive a
person continually, no matter how many times they sin against us. Now, there are some
cautions we can look at. One of them comes from rabbinical teaching: if someone
cheats you in business—which is considered a sin—you stop doing business with them.
However, you still forgive them for cheating you. Forgiveness does not always mean
continued relationship in the same way.
In the church, people do not forgive one another. That much is clear. Just look at the
number of denominations within Christianity. There are now over 1,000, especially
when you include independent churches. There may even be more, because the book I
read that mentioned this was over 15 years old.
Instead of forgiving one another, people separate and go their ways. So I began to
ponder why this simple message from Jesus is so often ignored. We are supposed to be
the religion of forgiveness. That does not mean we become doormats and let people
walk all over us. We do have to stand up for ourselves—but we are to do so in a loving,
caring, and forgiving way.
Then, as I was putting this message together, something struck me. The reason we don’t
forgive one another is that none of us wants to take responsibility for our actions. All I
hear is that it’s always someone else’s fault.
Allow me to share a couple of stories that illustrate this. There was a woman who went
through a McDonald’s drive-thru and bought herself a cup of hot coffee. While sitting
in her car, she decided to place the cup between her legs. She was wearing a short dress
and nylons. As she pulled out of the drive-thru, she squeezed her legs together, which
forced the coffee up and out of the cup, spilling it onto her and severely burning her
private areas.
She later sued McDonald’s for what I believe was around $1.8 million—though I could
be wrong on the exact amount—and she won. The jury decided that McDonald’s made
the coffee too hot and therefore bore responsibility for her injuries. The woman refused
to accept responsibility for her actions, even though placing hot coffee between her legs
was clearly a poor decision. What made no sense to me was that a jury awarded her that
kind of money.
I also remember a story about a woman who went into a furniture store with her
toddler. There was a sign on the door stating that parents were responsible for their
children. Despite this, she allowed her child to run freely around the store. While
looking at furniture, she tripped over her child, fell, and broke her leg. She then sued
the furniture store—and won. I don’t remember how much money she received, but I
do remember thinking how utterly ridiculous it was. She tripped over her child, whom
she was responsible for supervising. Once again, the excuse was the same: she claimed
it wasn’t her responsibility.
So, if I sin against someone and then say, “I’m not responsible for what happened,”
why do I need to be forgiven? We end up in this vicious cycle where no one takes
responsibility for their actions, and because of that, forgiveness never happens because
if no one is responsible then there is no need for forgiveness. It may sound crazy, but
it is clearly happening all around us.
Now, let me be clear: there are people who take responsibility for their actions. And
when they do, and when they ask for forgiveness, we are called to forgive them. One
of the problems in this world—especially in the United States—is that people are eager
to sue just about anyone for just about anything. Perhaps we have too many law schools
producing lawyers who can’t find meaningful work, so they go searching for people
they can represent and ways they can exploit the system for money.
Let me give you an example from over 30 years ago. My younger brother was attending
college and needed to get to class from his apartment. His roommate owned a small
scooter designed for one person. My brother was running late, so the roommate offered
to give him a ride. That alone was already a safety violation.
As they were driving toward campus, a young woman suddenly opened her car door
without looking. The scooter hit the door. The driver was thrown forward, and my
brother was thrown backward. Police and ambulances arrived, and both were taken to
the hospital.
My brother told me that before a doctor even examined him, a lawyer was already in
his face, handing him a card and telling him he could make thousands of dollars. The
lawyer assured him there would be no cost, and he would simply take half of whatever
settlement was awarded.
I asked my brother what injuries he had suffered. His answer? He landed on his
backside, and his $10 Timex watch broke when it hit the pavement. No physical injuries.
No mental injuries. Just a broken watch. A couple of months later, I asked him what
happened with the lawsuit. He told me there was a $50,000 settlement, $25,000 for him
and $25,000 for the lawyer.
I looked at him and said, “$25,000 for landing on your backside and breaking a $10
watch?” Where was the forgiveness in that? It wasn’t there. And the result of that lack
of forgiveness and responsibility was a ridiculous settlement for someone who should
never have been on that scooter in the first place.
The lawyer told my brother not to accept any responsibility for being on the scooter,
insisting that the young woman who opened the car door was entirely at fault.
There are countless stories like this, where people refuse to take responsibility for their
actions. As a result, forgiveness never happens—because no one believes they have
done anything wrong. Sadly, this same pattern exists in the church. I have known church
people who appear very pious on the outside, yet refuse to accept responsibility for
what they say and do. Power and influence mean so much to some people that they will
do things Jesus would object to immediately if it gives them more control over others
in the church.
So, when the district secretary told me that the most unforgiving people she knew were
in the church, I believed her. I learned as a pastor that even when I took responsibility
for my mistakes—and I did make them—people still refused to forgive me. It didn’t
matter what the mistake was. It didn’t matter that Jesus clearly teaches us to forgive one
another and to learn from our failures.
I am saddened to say that I agree with her. Some of the most unforgiving people I have
ever met are sitting in Christian churches, even though the very core of Christianity is
the forgiveness of sinners.
