“He Calls You Friend”
John 15:12-17
It would be difficult to overestimate the value of friends. It is often said that a real and true friend is someone who is there in bad times as well as good. Someone who doesn’t leave your side when you need them the most. Someone has said, A true friend is hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget. It is always an honor when someone wants to be our friend. Friends are a wonderful resource in our lives. People have childhood friends, friends from our school days and we even have friends that we talk to scattered all around the world. We have friends that have to move away from us, and we sometimes gain friends in the most unlikely of situations.
Making friends is not always as easy as it sounds. When faced with prospect of making new friends there are always three possibilities; 1.) We may not like them, 2) they may not like us, 3) or there is a mutual attraction.
Henri J. M. Nouwen, Dutch writer and theologian wrote, “When we honestly ask our-selves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or con-fusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend….” [ Henri J.M. Nouwen, Out of Solitude: Three Meditations - www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/friendship
William Shakespeare wrote, “A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become and still gently allows you to grow!” Friendship is such a precious thing that we cannot put a price upon it. Dollars and cents can never measure the treasure of loyalty and trustworthiness we find in a friend.
All of chapter fifteen is concerned with the believer’s relationships, verses 1-11 concerns the relationship between Christ and the believer, verses 12-17 deal with relationships between the believers and verses 18- 27 deal with the relationship between believer’s and the world. In His discussion of how believers should conduct themselves He highlighted the importance of close friends.
But the thing is most amazing of all is that our Lord, and Savior calls us “friend.’ Now in verses 12-17 of John chapter 15 Jesus introduces a new level of relationship available with God, that of “friend.” There have only been a few men down through the centuries that have been called the friend of God; both Abraham (James 2:23) and Moses (Ex 33:11) where called friends of God. This title is unusual and speaks of the highest relation-ship possible between God and a human being. Now Jesus calls His disciples friends, but this friendship is not our doing, but His, which provides us with tremendous security that His affection for us will not change.
But it must be acknowledged that Jesus is not automatically your friend or nor is He everyone’s friend. This must be noted especially if one is under that impression that they are His friend because they believe that they are a good person. The religious crowd mocked Jesus for being the friend of sinners (Luke 9:29-32). But He gladly accepted that title because He said He had not come to call the righteous (He really means self-righteous) but sinners to repentance. So, the first step to being the friend of Jesus is to recognize one’s need and to turn to Him as their /Savior. Once you have done that, then you can consider the characteristics of Jesus’ friends.
When we think of friends from the standpoint of the Lord Jesus Christ, He stresses that the lines of communication are wide open. He “no longer calls us servants, for servants do not know what his master is doing.” I have heard individuals say, “I don’t have a friend in the world!” But that doesn’t have to be true you can always have a friend in Heaven who loves you.
Now read with me beginning in verse twelve, “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. (13) Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. (14) You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. (15) No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. (16) You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. (17) These things I command you, that you love one another.”
From Jesus we can learn some qualities of true friendship as we examine the four character-ristics of the kind of friendship He offers.
First, Friends Are Willing to Make Personal Sacrifices. (15:13)
“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
Jesus’ death for us was the greatest expres-sion of love ever. Even if you or I were to give our life as a sacrifice for someone we must recognize that we will die sooner or later anyway. Jesus’ love is greater because He did not have to die. Jesus’ death is greater because He intention-ally gave His life. Sometimes a person will volun-tarily die for someone else, but this does not compare with Jesus’ sacrifice for us. Usually when someone ends up dying in an attempt to save someone else from a perilous situation they did not do with the expectation that they were going to die, they usually do so with the hope that they survive. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” But when Jesus died for us we were not exactly His friends. Paul tells us in Romans, “While we yet sinners, Christ died for us!” (Romans 5:8)
Sacrifice is essential to genuine friendship and love. Verses twelve and thirteen are a restate-ment of the “new commandment” which was given in John 13:34, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” The idea of sacrifice is found in the phrase “as I have loved you.”
When asked what was the greatest com-mandment Jesus said, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ (38) This is the first and great commandment. (39) And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matt. 22:37-39)
The story of “The Good Samaritan” was the explanation by Jesus of that kind of wonderful love (Luke 10:25-37). But Jesus explains that the new commandment requires us to love others as He has loved us. How has Christ loved us? He has loved us sacrificially. His sacrifice is our model.
Most of us will not be called upon to make the supreme sacrifice of our life for our faith. What we will face is being asked to give up our lives in small measures, day by day, rather than in one grand gesture. It is what some have called “a long obedience in one direction!”
Not Only Are Friends Willing To Make Personal Sacrifices but…
Secondly, Friends Are Guided By Mutual Goals. (15: 14)
Jesus says, “You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.” Friendship with Jesus is evidenced by obedience. You cannot be a friend of Jesus and not live by His commands. Jesus says that we prove that we are indeed His friends by simple obedience. What is this obedience to look like? He says, “You” – plural “all of you” are to – “do”- present active tense means - to practice – thus meaning “if you are doing” – “whatever I command you” – not picking and choosing those aspects of the Christian life that you like and ignoring those that we don’t.
But beyond speaking primarily of obedience these words of Jesus also suggest a mutuality of heart, the Disciples obey Jesus because they share the same outlook and goals. Close friends agree in the heart. The use of the present tense here has the meaning of “keep on doing” tells us that friendship depends on mutual goals and aims.
In the New American Standard Bible translation of Phil 2:19-20 the Apostle Paul says, “But I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, so that I also may be encouraged when I learn of your condition. (20) For I have no one else of kindred spirit who will genuinely be concerned for your welfare.”
Paul described Timothy as being “a kindred spirit” or it is translated “like minded” in the NKJV but either way it literally means “one souled.” We think of “soul brothers” as a modern term from the sixties, but actually it is a biblical term. The point is that Paul is saying that his friendship with Timothy was friendship of the soul. That is how close Paul and Timothy were – they had the one-souled quality that all true friends have. In friend- ship there is a kinship of the soul.
This unusual kinship also existed between David and Jonathan in the Old Testament. There is no good reason, humanly speaking, why Jonathan would be friends with David. After all Jonathan was King Saul’s son and heir to the throne of Israel. There is more cause for resentment than there is for friendship. If David is to be the next King as God has said, then he will be taking the place that should have been Jonathan’s. In 1 Samuel 18:1 we read that right after David’s victory over Goliath, “Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” The scripture says that their souls were knit together. Jonathan promoted David’s cause above even his own.
Not Only Are Friends Guided by Mutual Goals but….
Third, Friends Are Privy To Privileged Information. (15:15)
“No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.”
There is a sense that up until now the Disciples were more like servants than friends to Jesus. It was not so because He treated them unkindly, but because they were incapable of being anything else. A “friend” is one with whom you can share what you’re thinking, what your goals, your motivations and reason for doing things are. Up until now the Disciples had simply not been able to understand any of these things about the Lord, even though He had communicated many of these things to them. But now with the coming and abiding of the Holy Spirit they will be ready to move to a new level of relationship that of “friend.”
The word translated “friends” in (v. 15) literally means “a friend at court.” “The courts of eastern kings held an elite group of men called “friends of the king.” They had unrestricted access to the king, Having the right to even come into the king’s private (bed) chamber, they often met with him informally before he saw his political, econ-omic or military advisors. Think about the incred-ible offer Jesus gives – to be no longer slave but friends. We need not gaze at Him from afar. We are no longer excluded from His intimate circle of confidants. Friends? Incredible but true.” [Charles Swindoll. “Exalting Christ the Lamb of God.” Jn 15-21. Study Guide -Insight for Living. (Waco: Word, 1987) pp. 12-13]
No longer are the disciples to be in the dark, they are to be fully enlightened as to what Jesus is doing.
Earlier we expressed that Abraham and Moses were both referred to as “friends of God.” And in both cases, we see that this meant having access to information not revealed to others. God called Abraham His friend and when He was about to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, He would not keep this information from His friend. In Genesis 18:17-18 we read, “And the LORD said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing, (18) since Abra-ham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?”
The same kind of intimacy can be seen in the life of Moses we read in Exodus 33:9-14, “And it came to pass, when Moses entered the tabernacle, that the pillar of cloud descended and stood at the door of the tabernacle, and the LORD talked with Moses. (10) All the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the tabernacle door, and all the people rose and worshiped, each man in his tent door. (11) So the LORD spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend.”
Note if you would that both Abraham and Moses are called the friend of God and in both cases God revealed things to His friend that He does not reveal to others. And in both cases on the basis of what God did reveal to His “friend,” this “friend” appealed to God on the behalf of others and the appeal was granted.
Not Only Are Friends Privy To Priv-ileged Information but…
Fourth, Friends Have A Desire To See Their Friends Grow and Succeed. (15:16)
“You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.”
Jesus said, “I chose you and appointed you that” – “that” is literally “in order that” (hina). The goal of friendship then was “in order that’ 1). you might be fruitful “your fruit might remain” and 2)“in order that” 2) you might have your prayers answered. In this verse we see the Lord’s desire to help His friends succeed: “I chose you and appoint-ed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain.” The optimal desire in any friendship is to see that friend succeed. Friends rejoice in each other’s successes.
I want to once again refer to the friendship of David and Jonathan. In 1 Samuel 18:3-4 we read, “Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. (4) And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt.” I don’t know that I ever stopped to realize just what this gesture on the part of Jonathan meant. Everything that Jonathan gave to David represented that he was surrendering His own station in life to David. After all he was Saul’s son – the heir to the throne – but he committed himself to see that David became the next king. Jonathan was committed to seeing David reach his God-given calling in life, even though it meant surrendering his own right to be king. That is a sacrificial desire on the part of Jonathan for his friend David. In the same way, and even more so, the Lord Jesus is committed to us reaching our God-given potential. And that should be the purpose of our relationships – to help each other reach our maximum fulfilment.
Conclusion
You may be saying to yourself, “I wish I had a friend like that!” Well, we can because I Scripture promises in the second half of Proverbs 18:24 says, “… But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
So, you can have that kind of a friend if you allow Jesus to be your Best Friend. There are some very important reasons to do so.
First, Jesus deserves to be your best friend because He already knows you better than anyone else. One definition of a friend is, someone who knows all about us and likes us anyway. Well, no one better fulfills that qualification as Jesus.
Secondly, Jesus deserves to be your best friend because He has done more for you than anyone else. (John 15:13) "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
Third, Jesus deserves to be your best friend because, He will always be there when you need Him. The words of the old hymn, “What A Friend We Have In Jesus” says it well,
“What A Friend We Have In Jesus,
All Our Sins And Griefs To Bear
What A Privilege To Carry
Everything To God In Prayer
Oh, What Peace We Often Forfeit,
Oh, What Needless Pain We Bear,
All Because We Do Not Carry
Everything To God In Prayer.”
[“What A Friend We Have In Jesus” Joseph Scriven. Praise! Our Songs and Hymns # 412 compiled by John Peterson and Norman Johnson (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979)]
