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Anxiety
Few problems can do more harm to both the body and the spirit than intense, prolonged anxiety.
Not all distress is sinful. Jesus was extremely upset at times, and yet was without sin. Evil should bother us. Anxiety becomes problematic when it becomes obsessive and eclipses our joy, or when it turns to worry, sinful fear, or fretting. One sign that this is happening is when the stress begins to cause health problems, such as ulcers or chronic headaches from tense back and neck muscles.
God designed us to become tense at times and to be relaxed at other times. When a person is unable to relax, it is evidence that the anxieties of life have eclipsed joy in God.
Receiving a bill you cannot pay, a child bringing home a bad report card, and impossible deadline at work, laundry piling up—those things should cause a degree of tension so that you will be motivated to address the problem. If the purpose of the tension is to drive you to action, however, then once you have taken whatever action you can take, there is no value in remaining tense.
Casting Anxiety on God
The solution to anxiety is to cast it upon the Lord.
1 Peter 5:6,7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Suffering with humility
The phrase God’s mighty hand is an Old Testament concept that refers to the sovereign, mighty work of God. Sometimes it is a work of punishment or chastening, sometimes it is a work of amazing deliverance, sometimes a work of provision, sometimes a work of testing. But in each case, it is comes to us as hardship.
The first step in helping a person who is struggling under the mighty hand of God is teaching him to accept it. Teach him not to resist what God is doing. People become tense when they think things are spinning out of control. But things are never spinning out of God’s control, and God only does good things. Even when people and Satan are doing evil things, the work God is accomplishing through it is only good – and is far greater than what evil men and Satan are doing.
To accept and even appreciate the mighty hand of God requires humility. Pride resists God’s mighty hand, like a baby who does not want to be held—arching his back and struggling in his parent’s arms. If your child does that, and for some reason you cannot set him down at that moment, your only recourse is to overpower him and grip him more tightly, which is uncomfortable and distressing to the child. But when the child accepts the idea of being held and snuggles up in his mother’s arms, there is not a more beautiful picture of peaceful rest in all the world. When God sends the stresses of life by the dozen and we arch our back and struggle against it, we only make matters worse. Urge the person to humble himself and accept what his Father is doing. Only then will he be able to cast his cares on Him.
Cast Cares on the Lord One at a Time
When asked how he could handle all the stresses of the massive responsibilities that were upon him, George Mueller replied very simply:
“I do not carry the burden. … It is not only permission, but positive command that He gives, to cast the burdens upon Him. Oh, let us do it! My beloved brothers and sisters in Christ, “Cast thy burden upon the Lord and He shall sustain thee.” Day by day I do it. This morning sixty matters in connection with the church of which I am pastor, I brought before the Lord.”[1] Mueller began his day offloading burdens from his shoulders onto God’s, mentioning them specifically and individually, giving them to God. He never carried the burden. Teach the counselee that when God sends difficulties into our lives we must deal with them as much as we are able, but we must not carry them. Let God bear the weight of responsibility for outcomes that are beyond our control or responsibility.
The Big Picture
When we cast all our anxiety on Him, it reminds us of the big picture —the perspective from heaven. The smaller one’s perspective, the easier it is to become overwhelmed. An unexpected bill, a conflict in the home, or even watching the evening news can be like a small cloud that blocks the entire sun. But when we say, “God, I now offload the weight of this burden onto You. Do with it as You will. I trust You,” that kind of prayer has a way of reminding us of how small the burden really is. When you see that “giant” problem sitting there on God’s shoulders, suddenly it does not look so massive. In fact, in light of His immensity, the problem shrinks into nothingness. Is God sliding off His throne in helpless dismay because your son brought home an F? Are the armies of angels paralyzed as the kingdom of God grinds to a halt because your health insurance dropped you? Casting my cares on Him provides the “big picture” perspective that delivers us from being overwhelmed.
Humble yourself
How can we develop this type of mentality? The grammar of 1 Peter 5:7 gives us a clue. The word cast is actually a participle (casting). Peter is saying, “Humble yourselves … casting all your anxiety on him….” Casting your cares on Him, then, is an outgrowth of humility.
The pride in our hearts is what makes us cling to our worries. “I can handle this myself.” And even when it becomes obvious that we cannot handle it ourselves, we get no rest from turning it over to God because we know we cannot trust Him to handle it the way we want it handled. Pride says, “I can only rest when I know the outcome will be the outcome I want.” Humility says, “I trust God no matter what outcome He deems best. He knows better than I.”
This is not easy. The word cast is a strong word—it means to throw, heave, or thrust something away from you. Peter does not say “lay your cares at His feet” or “lay them down at the foot of the cross.” He says, “throw them.” It takes some effort. It is like trying to throw away Styrofoam packaging material—your cares cling to you because pride wants to hold on to them.
God’s Care for You
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Speak much to the counselee about God’s love. In the arms of a kidnapper it is wise for a child to kick and scream. But there is no reason for a baby to resist the tender embrace of a loving parent. The greater our understanding of God’s love, the more ability we will have to accept and embrace what He is doing.
“Will I get the job I want? I’m not worried, because Someone who cares for me is in charge of that.”
“Will I or my loved one be healed? Someone who cares for me is in charge of that.”
“Is it going to rain tomorrow? Fortunately for me, Someone who cares for me is in charge of that.”
When a person humbles himself and accepts the mighty hand of God on his life, that person can counsel himself:
Psalm 131:13 My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.
Thanksgiving
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
In order for prayer to alleviate anxiety and bring peace to the soul it must be thankful prayer. Thanking God ahead of time for whatever He decided to do in the matter reminds the anxious Christian that God can be trusted. True gratitude, however, is only possible when there is a deep confidence in the goodness of God. Urge the counselee to make a thorough and intense study of God’s goodness and His sovereign control over all things. When a soul is convinced that God is in control and He will only do good things, the result is a thankful heart. And as that gratitude is expressed to God, anxiety is driven out by indescribable peace.
Stress in Decision Making
The word translated anxiety comes from a root that means “to be drawn in different directions.”[2] Much of our anxiety comes at the point of making big decisions. Wrong decisions can have severe consequences.
When someone has to make a big decision, teach him how to use wisdom (study the Proverbs, heed counsel from wise brothers and sisters, and strive to choose the option that will be most beneficial for the kingdom of God).[3] Once he has done that, however, he must trust God with the rest. There are times when we simply do not have enough information to foresee outcomes, no matter how much wisdom we employ. This is by God’s design. He wants us to trust Him. There are situations in which God’s perfect plan requires that we endure a hard outcome of a decision – an outcome that we would avoid if we knew all the facts; so God does not give us all the facts. Understanding this can rescue an anxious person from the tyranny of “what if?” What if I decide the wrong way? What if the economy tanks? What if I become disabled? What if this effort fails?
It is wise to take possible pitfalls into consideration in the decision making process. If, for example, a particular man has a long track record of being humble, Christ-like, and godly, is it possible that he could turn bad in the years to come? Yes, but it is unlikely, and it is a risk worth taking. If, on the other hand, he has led a reprobate life for the last twenty years and has just changed in the last two weeks, there is a significant chance that he will revert to his old ways. A woman would be unwise to marry him. Many times, however, there are unknowable factors. A person starts a new business, and the office burns down on the day he happens to be changing insurance company and he loses everything. Unforeseeable. It would be foolish to second-guess the decision to start the business. If wisdom was followed, then the person can be confident that it was not a mistake – even though it seemed to result in disaster. The “disaster” was God’s perfect plan.
While apparent, seeming “disasters” happen to believers all the time, for a child of God real, ultimate disaster never happens (Ro.8:28). Urge the counselee not to allow himself to be pulled apart by the various options he is facing. He must apply wisdom as best he can, make a decision, and then trust God to carry him to wherever He wants him to be in life by means of that decision, despite whatever aspects may ultimately prove to be favorable or unfavorable from a human perspective.[4]
Stress in Work
Luke 10:40-42Martha was distracted by all the preparations… 41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
When a Christian’s work becomes burdensome, troubling, and upsetting, there are two possibilities:
1) God has not assigned this task to you
It could be that Martha was turning the meal into more of a production than it needed to be. Sometimes we pile work on our plate that God has not put there, and then we become upset with everyone around us for not helping. How many times has a wife become short with her husband and irritable with the kids because she is scrambling around trying to make the house immaculate before some guest arrives, and the reality is God never required her to have an immaculate house for that guest? Jesus’ yoke is easy and light and not burdensome – but the yokes that we place on ourselves tend to be unbearably heavy. We pile responsibilities on ourselves in order to meet the expectations of people whose approval we feel we must have, or simply to meet the expectations of our own prideful ideals for ourselves; and these tasks take up so much time and energy that we are unable to do the things God has called us to do because you are so busy with all the things we assigned to ourselves. This sometimes results in resentment toward God for requiring far more than we can do – when in reality we would have plenty of time and resources to do what God called us to do if we did only that and nothing else.
2) You are serving in the wrong way (not coming to Christ)
Many of the things that cause stress in our lives, however, are tasks that God has assigned to us. And Jesus promised that His burden is easy and His yoke is light (Mt.11:30). Why is it, then, that we often find our task burdensome and stressful? Our God-given tasks become stressful when we do them in a way that is not a drawing near to Christ.
Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
The promise is that when we come to Him we will find rest, which means whenever our work becomes burdensome it is a sign that we are not coming to Christ. This is why Jesus praised Mary and rebuked Martha. It was not because Mary was sitting and Martha was working; it was because Mary was attending to Jesus and Martha was ignoring Him. When we do our work with our back to the Lord, it becomes stressful and overwhelming. But when we make all our work a drawing near to Christ, the work itself is restful and energizing.
Teach the counselee who is stressed by his work to use his work an act of fellowship with God. Here are some examples of how to do that:
Appreciate the Importance of your Work
The importance of a task is not measured by how much money people pay for it, or how prestigious it is in human eyes, or how many people it affects. The only determining factor on the importance of a task is God’s calling. If God gave you a task, it is the utmost in importance. If He did not; it is a waste of time. If you become the President of the United States, find a cure for cancer, and achieve world peace; but God did not call you to do any of that, then it is a pathetic, meaningless waste of time. But if the great King of kings and Lord of lords commissions you to scrape gum off the bottom of someone’s shoe – that is a high and holy privilege. And if the task is hard, it is an even greater a privilege. It is an honor to be able to do something hard for His sake.
Teach the counselee never to say “I have to do the laundry,” but rather, “I get to serve my God in this way! I get to enjoy the grand privilege of serving the King of kings by serving this family that He died for.” How ridiculous it is for a Christian housewife to say, “I don’t have a job.” A woman who is married has been assigned an awesome task – the task of being a wife to her husband in a way that puts on display the kind of love with which the Church honors the great Bridegroom in heaven. If she went from that to being the CEO of IBM or Microsoft that would be a huge step down. God forgive us for how lightly we take the assignments He gracious grants to us.
Look at Work as a Feast
In Malachi one God rebukes the priests for carrying on the work He gave them while saying, “What a burden” (Mal.1:13). God goes on to remind them that the ministry He graciously granted them was like a wonderful banquet spread out before them, but they were turning up their noses and sniffing at it contemptuously. Remind the counselee that his God-given tasks are a gift from God that, if done properly, will be delightful and satisfying to the soul like a delicious feast.
Enjoy Working at God’s Side
Remind the counselee that when he does the work God has given him, he is walking side-by-side with God. He is actually joining Him in His work. He is working on the same project God is working on. He is in step with Him, working at His side.
Enjoy Being Used by Him
Every time a person does something God has called him to do – like wake up in the middle of the night to care for a child, or do that one task at work that is so unpleasant – he is being picked up out of the toolbox and used by the grand Architect of human history to play a role. Oh, how delightful it should be to us to be in His great hand! How excited we should be about getting the nod from the Coach to go into the game here in crunch time in the last days!
Martha’s mistake was she was trying to give to God instead of receive from Him. She forgot serving Him was a banquet and so it turned into a burden. And when that happens the result is a self-oriented focus.
40 “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
Her self-focus damaged her relationship with her sister and her relationship with the Lord Himself. Burdensome work makes a person irritable with everyone around him, and always results in self-pity. But when we make all our work a receiving from God, a feasting at His banquet table, an enjoyment of being used as a tool in His hand, a joining in partnership with Him in His great work, and a personal enjoyment of His attributes; work will be a drawing near to Christ and will result in rest and renewal for the soul.
Worry
Worry is expecting that God will do something wrong. It is a fear that the wrong thing might happen, and since God is in control of what happens, it is a fear that God will actually do the wrong thing. Worries usually do not think about it in those terms. Most Christians who struggle with worry do not have a strong sense that God is in control of events. They see future outcomes as depending on people, on nature, on “chance,” on themselves – on secondary causes. Even so, worry comes from a distorted view of the nature of God.
The two attributes of God that tend to be distorted in the minds of worries are His goodness or His power. Those who always assume bad outcomes in the future either think that God is unwilling to bring good outcomes (lack of goodness) or unable (lack of power).
The Goodness of God
Some worriers think of God as being mostly unhappy with them, like a father who is in discipline mode 90% of the time – always finding fault, always disappointed and disgusted with his children, always using the rod. They would say, “I am pessimistic about the future not because I doubt the goodness of God, but because I know I deserve punishment.” But in reality they do doubt the goodness of God. They think God’s goodness is handicapped by their sinfulness, as if their sin requires God to be mostly harsh rather than mostly kind.
When counseling someone like this, teach the person the following principles:
Even though we constantly stumble into sin, God is pleased with us far more than He is displeased. His displeasure over our sin is brief compared to His pleasure in our obedience (Ps.30:5).
God’s patience is far greater than we can even fathom. He is extremely slow to anger and slow to discipline (Ex.34:6).
Our stumbling into sin causes compassion in His heart toward us, so that He is even more eager to show us mercy and forgiveness. The psalmists did not pray, “God have mercy on me in spite of the fact that I am so sinful;” they said, “God have mercy on me because I am so sinful” (Ps.25:16).
Even when God does finally bring the rod, it will accomplish nothing but good for us. It is always corrective; never merely punitive. It always benefits us; never harms us. As painful as it is, there is a sense in which it is sweet to us because it is an expression of God’s love for us (Heb.12:5-11).
The Power of God
For some worriers the problem is not that they doubt God’s goodness or kindness, but rather His power. They think of God as favorable enough toward them, but they do not think of Him as being in control of circumstances and outcomes. They may give lip service to believing God is in control, but when they talk it is obvious that they really believe outcomes are mainly determined by secondary causes. They think everything is riding on what their spouse does, or what a court decides, or what choices their boss makes. Human agency is at the forefront of their thinking, and God’s role is in the distant background.
Remind these counselees that in every action it is both God and human agents who are at work, and God’s purposes will far outweigh man’s. When Joseph’s evil brothers sold him into slavery, they meant it for evil. But God was also at work in that very same action, and God meant it for good (Gn.50:20). And the good God was accomplishing was far greater than the evil men were accomplishing. Even when men carried out the worst evil man has ever carried out – the murder of the Son of God – God was also at work accomplishing something good, and the good He was accomplishing was far greater than the evil the men were accomplishing. This is true in every event that ever takes place in the life of a Christian. Urge the counselee to take his focus off the human agents involved and put it on the primary Cause behind the action – his loving, heavenly Father.
If the counselee questions whether God really is in control of all things, including the outcome of human decision-making, take him through a study of passages in Scripture that point to God’s total control of all things, such as Isa.46:10-11, Eph.1:11, Gn.45:5-7,50:20, Acts 4:28, Job 2:10, Lam.3:38, Isa.45;7, Amos 3:6, and 1 sam.2:6.
Pessimism: Blindness to Blessing
Worriers tend to be pessimists. A pessimist is someone who assumes that, all things being equal, God will generally do that which causes them the most pain. Your husband is ten minutes late picking you up? He was probably in a terrible accident. You just got an unexpected bill—God most likely will not provide for you. Having a picnic? No doubt God will send rain.
Most Christian pessimists will deny that their view of God is distorted. They will insist their pessimism is merely the reasonable, rational assumption that follows from observation of past history. But is it really true that past history points in the direction of trouble being more likely than blessing? Not at all. Past history proves that blessing far outweighs trouble. Those who look to the past and see mostly trouble suffer from blessing blindness. Their selective eyesight skips over a thousand blessings and zeros in on one hardship. He will carry a grocery bag to his car in the wind and rain a hundred times, and the bag never breaks. But is he overwhelmed with the kindness of God? Does he think, Boy, that paper bag could have easily broken and my groceries would have fallen all over the parking lot. Thank you, Lord, for making the bag hold? No; he takes blessings like that for granted every day and is blind to them. And the one time God has some purpose for the bag to break, it’s more than he can handle: “This kind of thing always happens to me! Now I’m going to be late, and I’m cold, and the eggs are broken….”
No matter how much pain a person has experienced, most of the things that have happened in his life have been positive blessings. Just ask him: “How many meals have you eaten? How many breaths have you taken? How many acts of love have been done for you? How many opportunities to love have you been given? How many spiritual resources has God given you access to? How many promises? How many riches in Christ? How high a calling have you received? How faithful has God been?” Even the person who has experienced countless sorrows—if he piled them all up in one stack, that stack would hardly be visible if it were next to the mountain of blessings God has given each one of us.
But the person who resents the pain in his life cannot see the blessings. God will give him a thousand wonderful acts of kindness—big and small—that go completely unnoticed, while he fixes all his attention on one painful thing. People who resent their pain do not appreciate God’s kindness, no matter how much of it He showers on them. People like that will enjoy innumerable blessings in a day, but if they have one disappointment, they will go to bed dwelling on that one thing.
Worry is a kind of practical atheism—being an atheist in practice. In fact, for the Christian worry is worse than atheism. The atheist thinks the events of life are random. So if he is afraid of tomorrow because all he has going for him is the luck of the draw, he actually has a valid point. That would be frightening. But for the Christian, who knows that God is in control of what happens, the only way he can be a worrier is to assume that God is generally unkind. The Christian worrier insults the character of God far more than the atheist. If someone does not know you and ignores you, that is a mild insult. But if your own precious child always assumes you will be unkind and do him unnecessary harm, that is a major insult. No child of a perfect God should be a pessimist.
When we say, “We planned our event for Saturday, so I’m sure it will rain” or “With my luck, I will probably hit every red light,” what are we saying? Just because I want something to happen it probably will not? Because I have a particular desire, God will probably do the opposite … and for no other reason than to hurt me? What a distorted view of God! I recently received an email from someone about a major decision I was making, and he said, “I’m sure you will do the wrong thing. You will do whatever is expedient and will not show integrity.” That really hurt. But to some degree, that kind of attitude toward me may be justified. There have been plenty of times in my life I have failed to do what is right, so it is not inconceivable that someone could assume something like that about me. But to assume that of God? What blasphemy!
Teach pessimists to be alert to God’s blessings hour by hour through the day, and to thank God for them continually. The same principle applies to those who are cynical about other people. Teach them to be more alert to the good that God works through people every day, and to be thankful to God for it.
The Solution to Worry
The problem of worry has everything to do with how a person views his heavenly Father. When we worry, it is because of a sense that God is generally unfavorable toward us and He would rather inflict pain than grant joy. He is the type who will hurt you even when it is not absolutely necessary. Deep down the worrier thinks of God as an unpleasant master who has it in for him – or a helpless father who can do nothing about the evil that is being done. Jesus solves both kinds of worry by pointing the worrier to the goodness and power of God.
Matthew 6:25-34 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
[5]
Fear Fear of Pain
In the previous section I suggested that worriers are guilty of doubting the goodness of God. Someone may object: “I believe that God is good – but even in His goodness, He may send pain and suffering my way. I am worried – not because I think God will do something wrong – but simply because I am afraid of having to suffer.” This sounds reasonable enough at first, but it also reveals a subtle distortion of the person’s view of God.
It is not really pain that we fear; it is lack of happiness. If God told you that tomorrow from 3:00-4:00 you will be suffering pain, but it will be the happiest hour of your life, would you be afraid, or would you be excited with anticipation? Very often a woman can hardly wait to give birth to a child – even though she knows it will be tremendously painful. Where there is sufficient happiness, we do not fear pain. What we fear is inability to be happy. If God told you that tomorrow you would suffer no pain at all, but it would be the saddest, most depressed day of your life – that would be terrifying!
When we worry about future suffering, the assumption is that when God brings that suffering He will not also supply access to happiness that is greater than the suffering. That is an incorrect assumption. The Christian always has access to joy that is greater than any suffering. The happiness that comes from experiencing the presence of God far outweighs even the most extreme trouble (Hab.3:16-19, Ps.16:11).
It is fitting to experience anxiety when anticipating suffering. Jesus was sweating blood the night before His crucifixion. He was not, however, sweating blood throughout the months and years leading up to the crucifixion, even though He knew it was coming. When one’s anxiety is greater than his joy – not on occasion in extreme situations, but as a rule – that person probably does not understand the fact that God never allows suffering without good reason. They may claim to trust God, but deep down they do not really believe that God’s reason, whatever it may be, is adequate to justify the degree of suffering He allows.
Teach the fearful person that suffering is to be expected (1 Pe.4:12), that all the suffering God sends is good (Ro.8:28), and that it will never be so severe that happiness will become unreachable (Hab.3:16-19).
When is fear sinful?
All worry is sin (Matt. 6:34), but not all fear is sin. The emotion of fear is a gift of God designed to protect us. It keeps us from getting too close to a cliff or needlessly exposing ourselves to danger. Frequently, however, it becomes an avenue for sin. When counseling people who struggle with fear, the counselor must first understand exactly when fear is sinful. Fear crosses over into sin when (1) we fear something we are forbidden to fear, or (2) our fear turns into cowardice (that is, it overrides our courage).
Forbidden fears
There are some contexts in which the very existence of the emotion of fear indicates sin. Scripture gives at least three examples of forbidden fears:
1) Divine Mistakes
No Christian in his right mind would say he believes that God could make a mistake. But as we found in the last section, when a person worries, that person is, in effect, assuming God might do something wrong. This is clearly a sinful misconception of the character of God. To think this way, a person must believe either that God lacks either power or goodness.
This type of thinking is more common than one might expect. Christians often disobey God out of fear that if they obey, God may allow some circumstance that will be too much to bear. In your own life, think of how many times you have chosen not to tell the truth, failed to share your faith, or refused to commit to something you knew you should do because of your fear of the consequences. Christians who do that are like the wicked, lazy servant who said to the master, “I knew that you are a hard man.… So I was afraid …” (Matt. 25:24,26).
2) Irrational assumptions
When some type of suffering is likely to occur, it is not wrong to anticipate it and prepare for it. But if it is not likely, then concerning yourself with it is a waste of time and energy. When a woman continually worries that her husband might leave her, even though there are no signs of unfaithfulness, or a man is in continual fear of being fired even though there are no signs of trouble at work, those fears are irrational.
The solution to irrational fear is wisdom.
Proverbs 3:21-26
My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; … 24 [then] when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. 25 Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, 25 for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.
The wise woman or man understands how God tends to operate throughout His world and understands which things are more likely or less likely to happen. Showing discernment sound judgment will help protect a person from making foolish decisions that lead to unnecessary suffering.
3) Loss of a cherished idol
We naturally fear the loss of things that are precious to us. Some things, however, should not be as precious to us as they are. When we realize that we fear the loss of these things, we gain insight into what may be an idol in our hearts.
John 12:42-43
Many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved praise from men more than praise from God.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying praise from men. But if that praise means more than praise from God, it is idolatry. The idolatry in these men’s hearts became evident when they had to choose between confessing Christ or clinging to their idol. Their fear was a fear of losing the thing they treasured above God – approval of men.
Jesus said, “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Mt.10:28) Fearing the wrong thing is evidence that a person does not understand or believe the truth about what is really dangerous – unfaithfulness to God.
Cowardice
Besides being idolaters, the Pharisees Jesus denounced in John 12 were also cowards. Whenever fear overrides courage, it is cowardice. And cowardice is a very serious matter. God’s word is clear—cowards go to hell.
Revelation 21:8
But the cowardly
2
… their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.
If the government threatens you with torture for preaching the Gospel, it is not sinful to feel uneasy about enduring the torture—as long as you act courageously and go ahead and preach. But if your fear prevents you from doing what is right or pushes you into sins such as lying or worrying, it is cowardice.
When suffering is clearly looming on the horizon, should the counselor say, “Don’t worry – everything is going to be all right”? No. The truth is, sometimes when God decides you will have to suffer you can see it coming. The appropriate response is for her to acknowledge likely pain, which will cause natural feelings of fear, and then to override those feelings with courage (by doing what she knows is right in spite of her feelings).
Overcoming fear
As with any emotion, it is one thing to decide you should not have fear but it is another thing entirely to rid yourself of it. If you can remember the last time you were afraid, you know that you cannot eliminate fear by simply deciding not to be afraid or by telling yourself there is nothing to fear. Counsel people who struggle with fear, how can you help them deal with it? By building both their faith and their courage.
Building faith
The more confidence you have in your caretaker, the less fearful you will be. I remember a time when I was sitting in the living room reading as my young children were playing on the floor. Suddenly there was a clap of thunder so loud it shook the house. All three kids were startled and momentarily stopped what they were doing and looked toward me with great concern. I smiled and said, “Wow, that was a good one!” That put all three at ease and they went right back to playing. They just wanted to know if things were under control, so they looked to see their father’s reaction.
We do not have the joy of being able to physically see the face of our Father when we experience frightening trials, but we can look to Him in faith. We can fill our minds with thoughts of His total control and loving care. We can remind ourselves of His faithfulness in the past and His great and precious promises for the future. We can intensify our level of concentration on the imperturbable joy of God and the smile on His face as He watches His perfect plan being carried out right down to the tiniest details of our lives. It is true that His plan for us often involves suffering, but even in the midst of suffering we can recall His words of comfort:
Isaiah 41:10-14
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand…. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O little Israel, for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
The greatest way to strengthen someone’s faith is through the Word of God.
ROMANS 10:17
… faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
When you are counseling people who are fearful, give them a list of passages such as Isaiah 41 to read when they are afraid. Tell them to read these aloud and have them memorize particular passages. Reading, hearing, or being reminded of God’s word can be tremendously calming and reassuring.
Psalm 56:34
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
Building courage
Some strong fears simply cannot be eliminated; they must be overcome by courage. For example, a mother might be afraid of heights, but if her baby crawls out onto the roof, suddenly her courage overrides her fear. She will go rescue her baby.
Courage is when a person is driven by a desire that is stronger than the desire for safety. Normally you might be afraid to get close to someone with a contagious illness. But if it is your daughter and you want to comfort her, your desire to hold her close might override your desire to avoid contact with the virus. Think of a man who is terrified at the prospect of advancing into a hail of gunfire. If he is consumed with the desire to defend his country or to do his job, he will be able to summon the courage. The courageous Christian, acutely aware of what is at stake in our spiritual warfare, has the courage to obey God no matter what the danger.
Seeking courage instead of escape from fear was the Apostles’ approach when they faced the incredibly frightening prospect of imprisonment, flogging, and death. In Acts 4, the vicious, dangerous, powerful men responsible for the murder of Jesus summoned the apostles and repeatedly commanded them not to teach or speak at all in the name of Jesus. Think of how terrifying their threats would have been to them—especially after having just witnessed the crucifixion. Few of us have ever faced threats that terrifying.
The Apostles took these threats seriously. They immediately reported them to the church, and the whole church rushed to corporate prayer. First, they built up their faith by reminding themselves of God’s power and sovereignty. They began their petition this way:
Acts 4:24-29
“Sovereign Lord, you made the heaven and the earth and the sea, and everything in them. 25 You spoke by the Holy Spirit through the mouth of your servant, our father David: ‘Why do the nations rage and the peoples plot in vain? 26 The kings of the earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against the Lord and against his Anointed One.’ 27 Indeed Herod and Pontius Pilate met together with the Gentiles and the people of Israel in this city to conspire against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed. 28 They did what your power and will had decided beforehand should happen. 29 Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness.”
Notice that instead of praying for protection, they prayed for boldness! Instead of seeking the elimination of what they feared, they sought the courage to be obedient in the face of what they feared. And God granted their request:
Acts 4:31
After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.
The result?
Acts 5:40
[The Sanhedrin] called the apostles in and had them flogged.
They feared being flogged, so they prayed for the courage to obey. God granted their request, and then they were flogged. But look at their response:
Acts 5:41-42
The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. 42 Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ.
You and I can thank the Lord that the Gospel was proclaimed around the world and passed down to us because those men were more interested in courage than in their own deliverance, comfort, or safety.
[1] George Meuller, “Real Faith,” http://hopefaithprayer.com/?page_id=4919
[2] Thayer,
GreekEnglish Lexicon of the New Testament.
[3] For a detailed study of wisdom in decision making see the class titled “Making Wise Decisions” at http://foodforyoursoul.net/ffys_v2/?page_id=37&series=65.
[4] This principle is true especially when those who are in authority over you make a decision on your behalf, such as when your boss says, “I’m sorry, but your services are no longer needed.”
[5] For a detailed study of this passage on worry see the “Overcoming Worry” sermon series.
