Played on a recording:
Voice 1:
They say forgive and forget, but after what she has done, I’ll never forgive her.
Voice 2:
That sort of monster: he deserves to die
Voice 3:
They call it a life sentence – but after ten years he’ll be out. What about our Mary? They can’t bring her back. We have to live with that for the rest of our lives. That’s what a life sentence means.”
Voice 4:
I don’t want compensation, I want justice!
Voice 5:
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
I hear those voices now and I shudder.
That used to be my voice – “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”.
But, before the blinding light, I never looked in the mirror to see how many teeth I should have been missing or what I would look like with both my eyes removed.
And here I stand now – and I know what the just requirement of the law would mean for me.
I had stood there – just stood there – as they dragged Stephen from the crowd. Something had repulsed me and yet something had excited me. Those scum, those heretics – they deserved to die. So I just stood there. No, I didn’t just stand there. I held their coats as they picked up their stones to throw at Stephen. They hurled them at him as he prayed. They hurled them at him as he cried “Father receive my spirit”. They hurled them at him as he sank to his knees. They hurled them at him as he cried “Lord, do not hold this sin against them”. They hurled them at him as his body collapsed lifeless to the ground. And I held their coats and stood there.
And the next time, I didn’t just hold their coats.
The first stone was quite hard to throw. But those scum, those heretics – they deserved to die. So I picked up the next stone and the next stone….
Soon, I wasn’t just joining in. I wasn’t just executing the ones other people caught. I was the lead. I was “a Hunter”. I was going from door to door to drag those Christians out. Those scum, those heretics – they deserved it.
That’s what I was doing on that journey from Damascus. I was hunting for Christians. And I was doing it properly too. I had letters, official letters from the high priest to the synagogues in Damascus demanding they hand over all “followers of the “Way.” Because that made it OK, didn’t it? Having papers…
I was hunting the scum. If there weren’t enough of those scum, those heretics in Jerusalem, then I would go and kill them in Damascus now. Wouldn’t God be pleased with me if I wiped them off the face of the earth?
That’s me.
So I here I stand in Church now. Paul the murderer. “Saint” Paul, the slayer of Christians.
And I know what the “just requirement of the Law” means.
I hear the voices:
“I don’t want compensation, I want Justice!”
“An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”
I hear the voices… And I shudder. And then I hear a different voice: -
“There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Heck – I killed his followers. I killed his friends, and Jesus says to me;
“There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
What sort of crazy God is this who can forgive even that?
And I have come to learn that it is not even just for my big crimes that there is forgiveness - but for the little things too. The way I put down my fellow pharisees to try to get that promotion. The way I didn’t mention how good a Rabbi Matthias was in case he got my job at the synagogue. And not just then in my old life before the Road, before the light. Yes – even those, those hurtful words I said to Peter just yesterday – that I knew from the moment I finished I should not have said.
For these too, God says “There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” That is the scandal of Christianity. Bad people get off Scot free. Bad people like me get off Scot free. [winey voice:] “It’s unfair” [celebratory voice] Gloriously unfair! A murderer like me Paul can walk free after all those Christians…. [small voice] I killed.
And you, however big your sins - or however small – can receive forgiveness.
Bad people get off Scot free.
Bad people like me get off Scot free.
Bad people like you get off Scot free.
“For God has done what the law weakened by the flesh could not do”
The law – justice- the principle of an eye for an eye an a tooth for a tooth- cannot sort out the mess that the world is in because [point at congregation] every single one of us is part of the problem
The flesh – our fallen human nature – is hostile to God. Whether big things or little things we all do wrong.
There on the road to Damascus, as I saw the blinding light and heard the words “Saul Saul why are you persecuting me” – it was as though I also saw a mirror. And in the three days of complete darkness that followed all I saw was that mirror showing me all the things that I was ashamed of, all the things that wished no one knew about me, all my pettiness, all my ambitions, all my anger, all my cruelty. For three days I saw nothing and yet I saw that mirror.
And then I felt hands on my head and I heard a kindly voice saying ‘Brother Saul,’ “Brother???” ‘Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on your way here, has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.’ And immediately something like scales fell from my eyes. And it wasn’t just my sight that was restored. I saw that despite every thing I had done, despite everything in that mirror that I didn’t want any of you to know about – Jesus had seen it, and it didn’t matter: he loved me.
The flesh – our fallen human nature – is hostile to God. Whether big things or little things we all do wrong. What do you see in your mirror? What do you try and hide from other people? From yourself? Whether big things or little things we all do wrong.
Imagine if we had to lock up everyone who had ever broken the law? Everyone who had ever broken the speed limit, or stolen stationary from their office, or pulled a sickie when they weren’t ill? And what about God’s law? Anyone who has shown bitterness, or jealousy, or used cruel words to their face – or behind someone’s back. Imagine we had to lock everyone up who had done this – who would we have left to run the prisons.
And yet, and yet the voices cry out for [angry voice] “Justice!”
We cry out for [angry voice] “Justice!”.
“So God who has done what the law weakened by the flesh could not do. By sending his son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and to deal with sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, so that the just requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us.”
The voices cry out for [angry voice] “Justice!”
The voices cry out for [angry voice] “punishment”
So God – our crazy God – our loving God -you know what he does? He comes in the flesh- he comes in our fallen human nature yet without sin- He comes in that flesh and takes our punishment on himself. The punishment that we cried out and demanded for others – the punishment that we deserved for ourselves – God took on himself on the cross
So you see – there has been an eye for every eye, a tooth for every tooth, one man taking it for every human being.
The just requirement of the law has been fulfilled. And we hear his voice reassuring us again and again –
[kindly voice] “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”.
And you know if you are anything like me and you can say [grumpy voice] “you’re forgiven!” but you don’t forget. I remember saying to Titus [grumpy voice] “Alright – you’re forgiven!!!” But with God it’s not grumpy like that. Its like … when I was in the darkness and I felt the gentle hands on my head, and I heard the kindly voice saying “Brother Saul”. That’s how God’s voice sounds when he says “you’re forgiven.” When God wipes the slate clean, the slate is wiped clean.
And he shows how much he has forgiven us by the fact his Spirit comes and lives in us. That’s what Ananias promised me – and that is what I have experienced.
You see -when we were “in the flesh” – when we were fallen and without God – we were a bit like a burnt out flat in one of the Tower Blocks over there with the steel shutters up. And then God moves in and there is replastering and new wiring and fresh paint and flowers in the window. That’s what it means to be in the Spirit rather than in the flesh. It’s not that anything is taken away from the house, but something is added to it. We are Spiritual because God’s Spirit has made his home in us.
That body of yours that maybe you think is fat or pimply or wrinkly or old or ugly – God doesn’t think that. God has made his home in it. And if you can’t believe that God would make his home in you – [slight smile in the voice] look around you. Look at all the other people he has made his home in.
Or look across history. Look at those of us who were there in the beginning. Look at the Samaritan prostitute, or Matthew and Zacchias who sold out their country for the rich life of the tax collector, or Peter the betrayer.
Or
[swallows hard]
Or me
“The least of the apostles un worthy to be called an apostle because I persecuted the Church of God” [1 Corinthians 15:9]
Me.
Me, Paul the murderer.
“Brother Saul” “There is now no condemnation”
The Spirit of God dwells in [pointing at self] us.
The Spirit of God dwells in [pointing at congregation] you.
I WANT to talk to you about what this replastering and rewiring and fresh paint will mean for each of you. And about how God’s spirit being in you means you will rise again in heaven, about the new creation, about the transformation of this town, and about the life of the world to come…
But my scrolls run out, so that’s all for my next epistle to you.
So: in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit
Amen
......................................................................................................................................
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