Welcome to Legacy Ministry Chapel. For those of you who do not know me, I am a Legacy Ministry College board member and have served on the Legacy Ministry faculty. I have been a pastor for over 40 years and am currently teaching doctoral students at the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary.
The title of my message today is: Reflections from an Old Pastor. Rather than preaching a sermon to you, I want to talk with you about my pastoral ministry experience. As Legacy Ministry students, you are already engaged in ministry, and most of you have many years of ministry ahead. I want to do all I can to make those years effective and fruitful.
In recent years, we have seen many prominent ministers scandalized. Even people we highly esteemed have been exposed for behavior unbecoming to the ministry. How does a man build a 100,000-person following while hiding the secret of molesting a 12-year-old girl? If you’re going to be in the ministry, you need some kind of answer to that question. The goal of ministry is not numbers and outward success. It is nice when God grants that kind of external fruitfulness. And when the external signs of success are simply a fruit of dedicated service to God, then it is something to be celebrated. But New Testament ministry must begin and end in the heart of the minister. Proverbs 4:23 counsels us: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (NIV) .
Paul instructed Timothy (1 Tim. 4:16 NIV), “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” The best thing you can do for those you serve is to keep your heart pure before God. Diligently guard your motives. Ruthlessly reject pride and self-promotion. Stay in the Word of God.
In Timothy 4, Paul told this young minister to do four things:
(1) Don’t be intimidated by your youthfulness and inexperience. David was young when he slew Goliath. There were many more seasoned soldiers in the camp. David’s older brothers were more seasoned. King Saul was more seasoned. Why David and not them? David’s heart was pure, and his reliance was on God, not his own ability. I say to you today: Don’t be intimidated by your inexperience. Obey God, and you will get experience. And you will see the glory of God in your life.
(2) Be an example “in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” Notice the emphasis on personal purity and conduct. The emphasis is not on the external fruit that will follow that. The first order of business is to get close to God yourself and simply do what He tells you to do.
(3) “Devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching.” Devote yourself to the Word of God, for if you take heed to it, it will guide you, correct you, and keep you on track.
(4) “Do not neglect your gift.” God has uniquely gifted you to accomplish his purposes through you. Embrace his calling on YOUR life and don’t try to be somebody else. You can take inspiration from their lives. You can learn through their example. But as you obey God, you will discover who you are created to be and the gifts God has placed in you. It’s very easy to see someone who is admired by many, someone who operates in spectacular gifts, someone with a large following, and say in your heart, I want to be that. Again, you can be inspired by that person, but develop the gifts God has put in you. They may or may not be spectacular in the eyes of man. That does not matter. What matters is that you humbly follow God’s calling on your life. “Do not neglect your gift.”
All of that precedes the text in 1 Tim. 4:16: “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them.” What you believe is important. In the last days, there will be a great falling away—many will turn from the truth and believe a lie. The revelation in Scripture is an anchor to protect you from that. You must diligently give yourself to the word in order to discern deception and reject it. The development of ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE is like any other technology. It can be used for good, and it can be used for evil. In the days ahead, it will advance so remarkably that there will be the temptation to over use it. Even now it can give you a quick sermon that sounds pretty good. Sermon preparation is not about producing a slick manuscript. Sermon preparation is about God working His word in your heart so that it becomes flesh in you. The struggle to get the sermon is a necessary process. In that struggle, you find answers to life’s issues in the inspired Scripture. And you learn to hear the voice of God and follow His leading. What does God want to say in your life? What does God want to say to that congregation at that time? Watch your life (your lifestyle) and your doctrine.
With that biblical intro from 1 Tim. 4, I want to share with you (as an old pastor) 5 things I’m glad I did (things I would encourage you to emulate) and 5 things I wish I had done. One of the many ways that we know Scripture is inspired by God is the way God talks about His heroes. When men create a hero, they leave out the weaknesses and just talk about the strengths. They celebrate the successes and hide the failures. If men wrote the Bible out of their own thinking, that’s the way they would have portrayed King David. But God shares with us David’s failures as well as his successes. We can learn from David’s victory over Goliath. But we can learn from the consequences of David’s failure with Bathsheba. God’s portrait of David has some warts in it because that is real. David was a man after God’s own heart, but he was not a perfect man. He loved God, but he had some failures. And that will probably be true of you, as it is certainly true of me. I will only have time to touch on these points. But I want to give you something to think about concerning your own life and ministry.
5 THINGS I’M GLAD I DID
1. I had authentic, real experiences with God. My Christianity is something deeper and more meaningful than mere religion. I was radically born again when I was 14 years old. I didn’t just shake the preacher’s hand or fill out a card. God brought earth-shattering conviction on my soul. I knew my guilt and repented before God. I was radically changed in the deepest part of my being. Later, I was baptized in the Spirit, evidenced by speaking in tongues. These experiences were also evidenced by a change in lifestyle, even at that young age. Your experience in God does not have to be emotional. But it does have to be real. You must be born again. The true worshippers of God worship Him in spirit and in reality (truth). Don’t just join the church. Don’t just embrace religion. Don’t just seek experiences. Seek God, and you will have the experiences on His terms. I’m glad my foundational experiences were real. I’m glad that changed my basic orientation toward life and God.
2. I’m Glad I Married the Right Person
Other than your relationship with God Himself, nothing is more important than who you marry. You will become one with that person. You will influence that person, but that person will profoundly influence you as well. The person you marry with empower your minister or stifle it, depending on their devotion to God. Don’t marry a sinner, no matter how attractive that person is. Don’t settle for half-hearted, carnal believer. Believe God for the person He has chosen for you—tenaciously believe Him for that. And when He give that to you, cherish it, honor it, and love it. Paul cautioned believer in 2 Cor. 6:14: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” Make sure that potential partner is devoted to God and will pull the spiritual load with you. God gave Rebecca to Isaac. He gave Boaz to Ruth. And He can give the right spouse for you if you will trust Him in that matter.
3. I’m Glad I Gave Myself to the Word of God
“Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” (Deut. 8:3). A major key to my perseverance in the faith and in ministry has been my love and commitment to the Word of God. God told Joshua, “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” The only Bible Joshua had was the Law given by Moses. The NLT makes this a little clearer in our context: “Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” You must feed your mind with the inspired Word of God every day. Jesus taught us to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread.” That request addresses our natural physical needs, but it also applies to our need to feed our spirit and mind with truth from God’s word. An annual reading of the Bible helps establish the discipline of that. When I finish one reading of the Bible, I like to switch to a different version for the next year. That helps me stay alert to what is said, and sometimes one version will illuminate a truth that is not so evident in another version.
The key here is read, baby, read. Read the Bible for yourself. Read insights from godly teachers on the Bible. And study the Scriptures like the Bereans did. Acts 17:11 says, “Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.” They didn’t just listen to good teachers, but they searched the Scripture for themselves to make sure what they were hearing was true. You live in a time when deception is more available and more artful than ever before. As AI emerges, the deception will become more difficult to identify. Already, many are falling into false doctrine because they follow a charismatic leader who presents himself as an angel of light, while teaching doctrines of devils.
A knowledge of the whole counsel of God in Scripture is a vital protection against the deception of our day—not just a few proof texts here and there—but an understanding of the tone and message of Scripture as a whole. That requires diligent study. For many of you, the reason you’re at Legacy Ministry College is that God has already given you a love for the truth. I’m encouraging you to nourish that love through constant study, meditation, and application of God’s truth to your life.
Second Timothy 4:2-5: “Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; 4 and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. 5 But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry” (NKJV). I’m glad I nurtured a love for the Word of God because it has kept me on track with God for many years.
4. I’m Glad I Risked Obeying God’s Call on My Life
The exercise of faith feels risky! What if God does not show up and make it work? What if I look like a fool for trying it? What if—What if—What if. But what if God honors your faith and obedience? “
Attending Legacy Ministry College may have required some faith on your part. Your time spent in God’s word could be turned into money by working extra hours on a job. There may be friends and family who question your decision to devote yourself to God in the college and in your current ministry.
When I was 24 years old, I left an awesome job with a big CPA firm in Dallas to attend a little, unaccredited Bible school. The career possibilities with the CPA firm were phenomenal. But the call of God on my life required the move to that little Bible college. I was educated at the University of Texas and did not want to go to a little, unaccredited Bible school. I went to a prestigious theological seminary and applied for a program that would give me esteem among men. But as I was filling out the application, I came upon the requirement that I would not operate in the gifts of the Spirit while attending there. It was decision time: Will I compromise my convictions in order to pursue a degree esteemed by men, or will I humble myself and go where God is sending me? I’m glad I obeyed God because at that Bible school, despised by the world, I got anchored in the word with a firm foundation of sound doctrine. Later, God led me to the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary and eventually to The King’s University. At those seminaries, I was exposed to liberal theology as well as conservative theology. But I could see through the errors of the liberal theology because my years at the unaccredited Bible school had equipped in the Word to do that. I share that story because you will face decisions like that in your journey. One path seems so right in the natural. But God sees the end from the beginning, and He knows what’s best for you. Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths” (NKJV). I’m Glad I Risked Obeying God’s Call on My Life.
5. I’m Glad I Served God Rather than Money or Fame
To fulfill your calling in life, you will have to decide whether your life pursuit will be God or money. Jesus said in Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Most people decide where they will work based on how much money it pays. Many of my choices came down to a decision to pursue God and His will for my life, or pursue money and the comforts and pleasures that money could give me. I’m Glad, when I was 24 years old, that I made a decision to obey God and let the financial chips fall where they may. I’m not calling for financial irresponsibility. If you obey God, you will work hard, and overall, you will take care of others instead of them having to take care of you. God will not lead you to be financially irresponsible. He may lead you to settle with less affluence so that you can serve others well. You cannot serve God and money. You will either make your decision based on the money or you will make based on God’s guidance and prompting.
Fame and the outward trappings of success can be a very subtle temptation for the Christian. Many people today are in a pulpit serving their own vain ambitions, rather than the will of God. They have convinced themselves that the goal of a big following and other emblems of external success are for God’s glory when all along they are subtly seeking their own glory. When big numbers and big ministry are the result of faithfulness to God, then it is wonderful to see. But if fidelity to God's character and His word is compromised to get those things, it grieves the Holy Spirit. Paul wrote in Philippians 2:3, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition” (NKJV). It takes a deep work of the Holy Spirit for anybody to truly and sincerely lay aside their own selfish ambition and simply take the place God gives and be faithful in the little things as well as the big things. How much religion today is driven by selfish ambition with a thin veneer of false humility covering it. We see it in the Pharisees of Jesus’s day, and we see it much of the church activity today.
I’m Glad I Served God Rather than Money or Fame. I did not do that perfectly. It took a lot of Holy Spirit work on my heart. But in general. I did not fall into the trap of greed, and I did not fall into the trap of using religion to promote myself.
For all five of the statements I have made thus far, I would have failed miserable were it not for God’s grace working in my heart and life. I am thankful to Him for the measure of success He gave in those areas. But now, I must humble myself and share with you some serious shortcomings in my life and ministry. There is enough pride left in me that it would be tempting to avoid these statements. But they may be more profitable for you than the ones I have already made.
5 THINGS I WISH I HAD DONE
1. I Wish I Had Not Backslidden in My Late Teens and Early Twenties.
I shared with you about my salvation experience when I was 14. When I was 15, God impressed upon me his call to ministry. It was not very specifically defined. But I knew in my heart that God called me to preach and serve Him in that way. My devotion to God in my mid-teens was very passionate. I was bold in my witness of Christ. I was at church every time the doors opened. I spent hours in prayer, dedicating myself to God. There was nothing half-hearted about my love for God from the time of my salvation until I was about 16 and a half. Once I got my driver’s license, I began drifting away from God toward pleasure-seeking in the world. I began running with the wrong crowd. Eventually, I was not going to church at all—no time for that, I just wanted to have fun. I did not realize “the gifts and callings of God are without repentance.” I did not realize that “I am not my own.” I thought the call of God on my life was something that I could take or leave as I chose. I did things during those 5 years when backslidden that I would not want you to know. I made decisions that haunt me to this day. Like Jonah, I ran from my calling and went my own way.
The consequences of going my own way during those years have been severe. It is always better not to sin than to sin. However, God chastened me and turned me back to Him. “Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound” (Rom. 5:20 KJV). My world crashed, and He worked repentance in my heart. In His mercy, He taught me a thing or two in the process. He convinced me that I am not my own—I don’t have the option to do as I please. I am His servant, and it is always in my best interest to obey Him. To put it another way, He taught me the fear of the Lord. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Ps. 111:10). Do you have a healthy fear of God? I’m not talking about a tormenting fear that sees God as a capricious, egotistic tyrant. I’m talking about a revelation of God as both loving and holy. I’m talking about knowing God as a loving Heavenly Father who will give you a good, hard whippin’ if you go astray. Hebrews 12 describes it this way: “Heb 12:5-6
And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: "My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; 6 For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives’” (vv. 5-6 NKJV).
God does not correct His children because they bother Him. He corrects us for our own good so that we will not depart from Him and be judged with the unbelieving world. But He is to be feared and respected. He is not some old indulgent grandpa afraid that you might not like Him. He is an attentive Father who watches over you life for your own good and trains you in righteousness. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Make sure you have a good dose of it. He redeemed my folly and taught me to fear and respect Him. But still: I Wish I Had Never Backslidden and simply embraced the fear of the Lord based on His word.
2. I Wish I Had Stewarded My Body Better
I grew up in a family that worked hard physically. There was never the thought that we needed a gym membership. We got plenty of physical exercise on the job. But when I graduated from college, I began working with my mind sitting in an office. I had not learned to add to my daily schedule a trip to the gym. In the same way, I did not realize that you can’t just eat anything you want, especially if your work is sedentary. So in time, I put on excess weight and developed some lifestyle health problems. I wish I had not done that.
First Timothy 4:8 tells us: “For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come” (NKJV). Physical exercise helps you a little (or a little while) because you need a healthy body in this life. After you lay the mortal body aside in death, you have received any value that comes from healthy eating and exercise. “For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come” (NKJV).
Notice the comparison Paul makes in this verse. He compares the temporal value of stewarding your body with the eternal value of living a godly life. It’s important that we understand the comparison. It is not a good thing to be obsessed with your physical appearance. It’s not a good thing to prioritize your physical condition over your spiritual condition. So there is a wise balance between negelecting your physical heath and obsession over your physical heath. You will need to find that balance in your own life. I Wish I Had Stewarded My Body Better—but I’m glad I did not give it obsessive attention compared to my spiritual stewardship.
3. I Wish I Had Interacted with My Children More
I was a good father to my kids. I worked hard and provided their material needs. I loved them and communicated that love to them. I sacrificed and had them in Christian schools when we really couldn’t afford to do that. I had them in church and taught them biblical values. In fact, one year I was given a Father of the Year award.
But I shortchanged them on fun times together. I worked so hard as a pastor that when I got time off, I just had to lie down and recover. That was complicated by the fact that I did not learn how to play when I was a child. I learned how to work at a very young age, and I’m glad I did. It has served me well. But I did not learn a balance of work and play, and I did not know how to play, even if there was time to do it.
My wife was a stay-at-home mom, so they got lots of parental care while I was working to provide for the family. But in retrospect, I should have adjusted my schedule for spending more fun time with my kids. It’s not easy to balance work and family, but it is wise to do so. I Wish I Had Interacted (played) with My Children More.
4. I Wish I Had Focused More on the Success of Others Rather Than My Own Goals.
The empowerment of others was certainly not absent. There are people in full-time ministry today whom I mentored and helped reach their goals. I pursued the well-being of everyone that I pastored. My wife and I made huge sacrifices to prepare our daughters for success. I did invest a lot in others.
But I focused too much on the goals that I had set for myself. They were good goals—goals like building a church congregation, building church buildings, and promoting the gospel in the city. But I did not fully understand how the success of our journey is found in empowering the success of other people’s journeys. I would work that angle more if I had it to do over again. I Wish I Had Focused More on the Success of Others Rather Than My Own Goals.
5. (Most Importantly) I Wish I Had Prayed More
I have been a man of prayer. I have a morning devotion every day. I pray for my family, my congregation, and my friends. I have always led my churches in weekly prayer meetings. I prayed with the other pastors in my city. I prayed more than most pastors pray.
But I should have prayed more. I would have accomplished more in my life and ministry if I had dedicated more time to prayer. It’s something I’m trying to improve on now. Any ministry that does not flow out of intimacy with God is wood, hay, and stubble. There can be lots of activity and external signs of success with very little eternal fruit. Only that which is done by the Holy Spirit through us will produce eternal fruit. It is far better to spend time with God and go do his bidding than to just do things for God based on your own natural thinking. “There are many plans in a man’s heart,
Nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand” (Prov. 19:21 NKJV). That which God directs, God empowers. Jesus cautioned in John 15:4, “As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me” (NKJV). The Wycliff Bible translates it this way: “Dwell ye in me, and I in you; as a branch may not make fruit of itself, but it dwell in the vine, so neither ye, but ye dwell in me.” Dwelling in Christ involves much prayer. Times of intimate, personal communion with God, but also ongoing communion with God throughout your day.
A consistent prayer life is something I have had to work at. Your flesh wants to be active. But your spirit must be strengthened in prayer for our activity to be effective for the kingdom of God. In 1 Corinthians 14:4, Paul said, “He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself.” His inner man is strengthened and equipped for ministry. We do not understand exactly how that works, but we know it does. Paul was so convinced of it that he said in verse 18: “I thank my God I speak with tongues more than you all.” That was a key to his supernatural ministry. Prayer was a priority for Jesus. Prayer was a priority for Paul. And if we do not make it a priority, we will have a weak prayer life. I made prayer a priority in my life and ministry, but I wish I had made it a higher priority.
CONCLUSION
So I have shared with you 5 things I’m glad I did and 5 things I wish I had done. Which of these is God impressing on you at this time in your life? As I list them for your consideration, let the Holy Spirit apply them in your hearts.
5 Things I’m Glad I Did
1. I’m Glad I Had Authentic, Real Experiences with God. Do you know in your heart that you have been born again? Is your ministry driven by religious duty or by a passion for the glory of the God you have encountered?
2. I’m Glad I Married the Right Person. Are you trusting God for that or are you trying to make it happen yourself? If you are married to the right person, thank God for that beautiful gift.
3. I’m Glad I Gave Myself to the Word of God. Saturate your mind and heart with God’s word and the right actions will tend to follow.
4. I’m Glad I Risked Obeying God’s Call on My Life.
5. I’m Glad I Served God Rather than Money or Fame.
Many of life’s decisions come down to that choice. What are you pursuing in life? Will you love and rely on money or will you love and rely on God?
5 Things I Wish I Had Done
1. I Wish I Had Not Backslidden in My Late Teens and Early Twenties.
It is always better not to sin than to sin. God will forgive and restore us when we repent. But that does not mean there will be no consequences.
2. I Wish I Had Stewarded My Body Better. I’m glad I did not obsess with my body image and give to much time to this. But I wish I had disciplined myself more with my eating and exercise.
3. I Wish I Had Interacted with My Children More.
Find a healthy balance between work and family. Give yourself to your children in personal interaction with them.
4. I Wish I Had Focused More on the Success of Others Rather Than My Own Goals. As you invest in empowering others, God’s goals for your life will tend to be realized.
5. I Wish I Had Prayed More. Your interaction with God will drive everything else. Make it your top priority.
Reflect on your journey so far. What would this list look like for you? You might even want to make a list like this so that God can encourage you with what is working and direct you concerning those areas that need more attention. I want us to take a couple of minutes and in the privacy of your own heart, process this question with the Lord. What adjustments in your journey should you make?
SILENCE
PRAY
Father, we thank you for our journey with you thus far. We ask you to keep us on track. We ask you to align our priorities with your priorities. We want to finish well. We ask you to empower us by Your Spirit to make our lives count for your glory. Amen.
