Joab Kills Abner: When Vengeance Hijacks Justice
November 5, 2025
Dr. Bradford Reaves
Crossway Christian Fellowship
2 Samuel 3:22-39
INTRODUCTION: WHEN ANGER TAKES OVER
There are moments in Scripture when the storyline slows down, the camera zooms in, and God exposes the raw human heart—its wounds, its fears, its bitterness, its impulses, and its desperate attempts to seize control when God has called us to surrender. Second Samuel 3 is one of those moments. It is the moment where a deeply wounded man named Joab allows vengeance to hijack justice, bitterness to overpower wisdom, and human anger to threaten the work God Himself is doing through David. It is a warning for every believer, every leader, and every church.
The setting is critical: Israel has essentially been in civil war. Saul is dead. His weakened house is fading. David’s kingdom is slowly rising, not through force, but through God’s steady, providential hand. And at the very moment unity is within reach, a single vengeful act almost destroys it all. This chapter is not merely history; it is a mirror. It reveals what happens when we let wounds drive decisions, when pride replaces prayer, and when we try to accomplish spiritual purposes with fleshly methods.
I. A KINGDOM ON THE BRINK OF UNITY (vv. 22–25)
Just then the servants of David arrived with Joab from a raid, bringing much spoil with them. But Abner was not with David at Hebron, for he had sent him away, and he had gone in peace. 23 When Joab and all the army that was with him came, it was told Joab, “Abner the son of Ner came to the king, and he has let him go, and he has gone in peace.” 24 Then Joab went to the king and said, “What have you done? Behold, Abner came to you. Why is it that you have sent him away, so that he is gone? 25 You know that Abner the son of Ner came to deceive you and to know your going out and your coming in, and to know all that you are doing.” (2 Samuel 3:22-25)
Joab Returns to a Political Earthquake
When Joab arrives from a victorious raid, he’s greeted with news that instantly ignites every wound inside him: Abner—the general who once opposed David, the man who killed Joab’s younger brother Asahel—had just visited the king. He had come in peace. David had received him warmly. And David had sent him away unharmed, with full acceptance and a promise to unify Israel under David’s rule.
For Joab, this is unthinkable. The text tells us he storms into David’s presence demanding, “What have you done?” and “Surely you realize that Abner came to deceive you.” His tone is not respectful inquiry; it is accusation. But Joab’s outrage is not discernment. It is bitterness wearing the mask of loyalty.
Three Wounds Driving Joab’s Anger
David Guzik highlights three motivations boiling beneath the surface: First, Joab is convinced Abner is a double agent. He assumes the worst because bitterness always assumes the worst.
Second, Abner killed Joab’s brother. Yes, it was in self-defense. Yes, Asahel was the aggressor. Yes, Abner pleaded with Asahel to stop pursuing him. But bitterness doesn’t evaluate facts. Bitterness remembers pain.
Third, Abner is a threat to Joab’s position. Abner was Saul’s chief military commander. He had decades of battlefield wisdom and political influence. His arrival could potentially push Joab aside.
So Joab does what bitter hearts do: he spiritualizes his suspicion. He tries to sound discerning. He frames it as protecting David. But the truth is simple—Joab is protecting himself. And that is where sin always begins.
II. THE ASSASSINATION OF ABNER (vv. 26–27)
When Joab came out from David’s presence, he sent messengers after Abner, and they brought him back from the cistern of Sirah. But David did not know about it. 27 And when Abner returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside into the midst of the gate to speak with him privately, and there he struck him in the stomach, so that he died, for the blood of Asahel his brother. (2 Samuel 3:26-27)
Sin Clothed in “Righteous” Motives Is Still Sin
Joab leaves David’s presence, and without hesitation or counsel, he sets his plan in motion. He sends messengers to intercept Abner before he travels too far. They bring him back to Hebron under the guise that the king needed to speak with him further. Abner, trusting David’s peace, returns willingly. But what happens next is the darkest moment in Joab’s life.
Joab pulls Abner aside at the gate “to speak with him privately.” The language implies intimacy, confidentiality, even friendliness. It is a fake gesture of reconciliation designed to disarm him. And there—just outside the gate—Joab thrusts a dagger into Abner’s stomach and murders him in cold blood.
The Location Matters
The narrator emphasizes that the killing happens outside the gate of Hebron. Hebron was one of Israel’s six cities of refuge. Inside that city, Abner had legal protection—they could not touch him without standing before elders and establishing guilt. Inside the city, Joab would have no legal right to kill him, because Abner killed Asahel in self-defense. Joab knows the law. Joab knows the truth. Joab deliberately leads him out of the place where God’s law gave him safety. Joab does not act as a lawful avenger of blood. Joab acts as a murderer.
That detail is the Holy Spirit telling us: This was not justice. This was vengeance. This was bitterness weaponized.
The Self-Deception of Sinful Motives
Joab probably convinced himself he was protecting David. Maybe he believed he was preventing a political betrayal. Maybe he wrapped his vengeance in the language of righteousness. But you cannot dress sin up and look pretty and deny it is still sin. Sin wrapped in Scripture is still sin. Sin dressed in loyalty is still sin. Sin disguised as discernment is still sin.
Charles Spurgeon said it best: “We may even deceive ourselves into the belief that we are honoring our Lord and Master when we are, all the while, bringing disgrace upon His name.” That is Joab. And that can be us—when we allow hurt to dictate our decisions rather than God’s Word.
III. DAVID’S PUBLIC RENUNCIATION (vv. 28–30)
Afterward, when David heard of it, he said, “I and my kingdom are forever guiltless before the Lord for the blood of Abner the son of Ner. 29 May it fall upon the head of Joab and upon all his father’s house, and may the house of Joab never be without one who has a discharge or who is leprous or who holds a spindle or who falls by the sword or who lacks bread!” 30 So Joab and Abishai his brother killed Abner, because he had put their brother Asahel to death in the battle at Gibeon. (2 Samuel 3:28–30)
True Leaders Stand for Righteousness Even When It Costs Them
When David hears about the murder, he immediately and publicly declares, “My kingdom and I are guiltless before the LORD of the blood of Abner.” David understands instantly what is at stake:
• If the rest of Israel believes David approved this killing, he loses credibility.
• If they assume David orchestrated it, he becomes no different than Saul.
• If they suspect David’s kingdom is built on violence, fear, and assassinations, he will never unify the nation.
David cannot afford for his throne to be stained with the blood of innocent men. So he does something essential—he renounces Joab’s actions and pronounces a curse upon his household. His prayer is severe. He invokes calamity, disease, and conflict upon Joab’s line. David’s words demonstrate clarity: This act does not represent my kingdom, my character, or my God.
But something surprising happens. David stops short. He does not remove Joab from his position. He does not discipline him. He does not imprison him. This will become a shadow over David’s leadership. The reason is clear: David is still politically vulnerable. Joab is a fierce and highly successful military commander. Removing Joab at this moment could fracture David’s fragile support.
IV. DAVID’S PUBLIC MOURNING (vv. 31–39)
Then David said to Joab and to all the people who were with him, “Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and mourn before Abner.” And King David followed the bier. 32 They buried Abner at Hebron. And the king lifted up his voice and wept at the grave of Abner, and all the people wept. 33 And the king lamented for Abner, saying, “Should Abner die as a fool dies? 34 Your hands were not bound; your feet were not fettered; as one falls before the wicked you have fallen.” And all the people wept again over him. 35 Then all the people came to persuade David to eat bread while it was yet day. But David swore, saying, “God do so to me and more also, if I taste bread or anything else till the sun goes down!” 36 And all the people took notice of it, and it pleased them, as everything that the king did pleased all the people. 37 So all the people and all Israel understood that day that it had not been the king’s will to put to death Abner the son of Ner. 38 And the king said to his servants, “Do you not know that a prince and a great man has fallen this day in Israel? 39 And I was gentle today, though anointed king. These men, the sons of Zeruiah, are more severe than I. The Lord repay the evildoer according to his wickedness!” (2 Samuel 3:31-39)
A King Who Chooses God’s Way, Not the World’s Way
What follows is one of the most beautiful demonstrations of righteous leadership in the Old Testament. David does not merely say he opposes Joab’s actions—he shows it. He orders Joab and his men to tear their clothes, wear sackcloth, and join him in public mourning. This is humiliating for Joab. It is corrective. It is symbolic. Joab must walk behind the very coffin of the man he murdered.
This single moment preaches a sermon to the entire nation: David is not complicit. David will not tolerate injustice. David is not a violent usurper building a throne on bloodshed. David honors even his former enemies with dignity.
David Follows the Coffin
Kings do not follow coffins—coffins follow kings. But David walks behind Abner’s body as a mourner. This is a moment of unequaled humility. It says, “This man deserved better. This man was a prince in Israel. This man fell before wicked men.” He sings a lament over Abner, a public declaration that Abner died unjustly, not as a criminal, not as a traitor, but as a victim of wickedness. The people see it. They understand it. And their hearts turn even more toward David.
Verse 36 says the people “were pleased,” not because David fed them what they wanted to hear, but because “whatever the king did pleased them.” Why? Because David’s actions matched the righteousness of his heart. People follow integrity.
David’s Honest Confession
Finally, in verse 39, David says something remarkably vulnerable: “I am weak today, though anointed king; and these sons of Zeruiah are too harsh for me.” David admits he feels overwhelmed. Joab and Abishai are too strong, too violent, too unpredictable. But David closes with the declaration that defines this chapter: “The LORD shall repay the evildoer according to his wickedness.”
• David will not take vengeance.
• David will not respond in anger.
• David will not fight violence with violence.
• David will let God be the Judge.
It is a foreshadowing of Christ Himself, who “when He was reviled, did not revile in return.”
V. THEOLOGICAL THEMES FOR TODAY
A. Bitterness Is a Master That Will Rule You
Joab demonstrates what happens when bitterness is not surrendered to God. It clouds discernment, rewrites motives, and weaponizes wounds. Bitterness always overestimates threats and underestimates grace.
Bitterness whispers lies:
• “You’re protecting yourself.”
• “You’re defending righteousness.”
• “You’re doing God’s work.”
• “You’re justified.”
But bitterness produces nothing but sin.
B. You Cannot Serve God With Satan’s Tools
Joab thought he was protecting David. But God never blesses manipulation, deceit, or anger. God does not need our rage to accomplish His will. God does not need our plotting to preserve His promises. God does not need our human solutions to defend His kingdom. Joab is the embodiment of worldly leadership: controlling, suspicious, forceful. David is the embodiment of kingdom leadership: humble, patient, principled.
C. God Honors Those Who Trust Him With Vengeance
Three times David is wronged by Saul. Three times he refuses to strike back. Here, Abner is murdered unjustly,
but David refuses to retaliate. David’s strength is not in his sword—it is in his restraint.
• The world says, “Take control.”
• The Spirit says, “Give God control.”
• The world says, “Make them pay.”
• The Spirit says, “Leave room for the wrath of God.”
D. Leaders Must Confront Sin, Not Just Condemn It
David renounces Joab’s murder, but he does not remove Joab. The result is long-term instability. Sometimes we curse what we should correct. Sometimes we lament what we should discipline. Sometimes we pray about what we should act on. Godly leadership requires courage—not only to speak righteousness but to enforce it.
E. God Sees Every Injustice and Will Repay Perfectly
David’s final words are the anchor of the whole narrative: “The LORD shall repay.” In other words, David refuses to carry what belongs in God’s hands. He refuses the burden of vengeance. He refuses the poison of bitterness. He refuses the impulse of retaliation. He leaves justice to God.
• That is the path of peace.
• That is the path of leadership.
• That is the path of spiritual maturity.
XI. APPLICATION FOR THE CHURCH TODAY
A. When You Carry Old Wounds Into New Seasons, You Will Misinterpret God’s Work
Joab could not rejoice in God bringing unity because he never dealt with the pain of Asahel’s death. If you do not surrender past wounds, they will sabotage present blessings.
B. You Cannot Discern Clearly When Bitterness Is in Your Heart
Joab called it “discernment.”
God called it murder.
Bitterness confuses the voice of God with the echo of grief.
C. Trust God to Handle What He Has Not Called You to Fix
David could have retaliated. He didn’t. He trusted God.
What situation in your life requires the same response?
• A betrayal?
• A family wound?
• A ministry conflict?
• A slandered reputation?
D. Choose Spirit-Led Humility Over Flesh-Led Reaction
• David followed the coffin.
• He honored a fallen man.
• He absorbed the political cost.
• He trusted God to work through integrity rather than intimidation.
CONCLUSION: WHO WILL RULE YOUR HEART—DAVID OR JOAB?
Every believer has a Joab and a David inside of them.
Joab represents the part of us that is wounded, defensive, self-protective, suspicious, vengeful, and impulsive.
David represents the Spirit-filled heart that trusts God, relinquishes vengeance, honors righteousness, and waits on the Lord. Our calling is to walk blamelessly, to live righteously, and to trust the Lord with what wounds us most deeply.
