RESTORING LOVE IN A TROUBLED MARRIAGE
By Rev. Samuel Arimoro
Main Text: Hosea 2:14-15
Key Verse: “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten…” Joel 2:25
Supporting Texts: Ephesians 5:25-33; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; Colossians 3:12-14; 1 Peter 4:8
INTRODUCTION
Marriage is designed by God to be a covenant of love, companionship, and mutual fulfilment. Yet, even the strongest marriages may encounter seasons of conflict, emotional distance, or misunderstanding. Troubled marriages do not fail overnight, love is eroded gradually through unresolved offences, unmet needs, poor communication, and spiritual negligence. The good news is this: what is broken can be healed, what is wounded can be restored, and what is dying can be revived by the grace of God.
Every marriage can flourish again when love is intentionally rebuilt. Restoration does not happen by accident; it requires humility, forgiveness, communication, and a return to God’s blueprint. When couples are willing to work together, even in pain, God’s healing power begins to flow. Love can be rekindled, trust can be rebuilt, and joy can be rediscovered.
This teaching examine biblical, emotional, and practical pathways to restoring love in a troubled marriage. Whether the issue is communication, emotional disconnect, past hurts, or spiritual dryness, God provides wisdom and strength to rebuild what seems broken beyond repair.
1. RETURNING TO GOD AS THE CENTRE OF THE MARRIAGE
When God is not central, marriage struggles become heavier and more complicated. True restoration begins when both partners return to the foundation: God Himself.
a) Acknowledging spiritual dryness – Revelation 2:4-5. Many marriages suffer because partners have drifted spiritually. Restoration begins with recognising where love began to decline and returning to God with sincerity.
b) Inviting God into the relationship again – Psalm 127:1. When the Lord does not build the marriage, efforts become exhausting and unfruitful. Restoration requires surrendering the home back to God.
c) Praying together as a couple – Matthew 18:19. Joint prayer restores unity, rebuilds trust, and melts emotional distance. Couples who pray together reconnect spiritually and emotionally.
d) Embracing God’s love as a model – 1 John 4:7-8. We love best when we draw from God’s love. His love heals, softens hearts, and empowers forgiveness.
Biblical Example: The marriage metaphor between God and Israel shows how God restored love even after Israel’s unfaithfulness (Hosea 2:14-23). God pursued, forgave, healed, and renewed His covenant, an example of divine restoration in love.
2. HEALING PAST HURTS AND LEARNING TO FORGIVE
Unforgiveness is one of the greatest killers of intimacy. Restoration cannot happen where pain is buried and bitterness is thriving.
a) Confronting unresolved wounds – Psalm 147:3. Healing begins by acknowledging the emotional injuries that have created distance.
b) Choosing forgiveness as a gift, not a feeling – Ephesians 4:31-32. Forgiveness is an act of obedience. It removes bitterness and opens the door to restoration.
c) Releasing the desire for revenge or punishment – Romans 12:19. Love cannot be restored where spouses hold each other emotionally hostage because of past mistakes.
d) Creating an environment for apology and reconciliation – Matthew 5:23-24. Both partners must be willing to take responsibility where needed and humbly seek reconciliation.
Biblical Example: Joseph forgave his brothers despite deep betrayal (Genesis 50:20-21). His forgiveness restored relationship and emotional healing. If God’s grace enabled Joseph, it can empower couples to forgive.
3. REBUILDING EMOTIONAL CONNECTION AND INTIMACY
Emotional intimacy is the heartbeat of marriage. When it fades, the relationship feels cold, distant, or transactional.
a) Restoring healthy communication – James 1:19. Listening with empathy, speaking with patience, and avoiding harsh words create emotional safety.
b) Expressing affection intentionally – Song of Songs 1:2. Affection must be expressed through kind words, physical touch, and thoughtful gestures that rekindle closeness.
c) Spending quality time together – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10. Connection grows through shared moments without distractions: talking, laughing, praying, and bonding.
d) Meeting each other’s emotional needs – Philippians 2:4. Understanding and honouring each other’s needs rebuilds trust, love, and partnership.
Biblical Example: Isaac and Rebekah experienced comfort and emotional closeness that strengthened their marriage (Genesis 24:67). Emotional warmth is a biblical building block for love.
4. REBUILDING TRUST AND RESTORING BROKEN FOUNDATIONS
Love thrives on trust. When it is broken, the entire marriage suffers, but it can be rebuilt with intentionality.
a) Practising transparency and honesty – Proverbs 12:22. Hidden behaviours and secrets destroy trust. Openness brings healing.
b) Demonstrating consistent actions – Luke 16:10. Trust is rebuilt not by promises but by consistent, faithful actions over time.
c) Setting healthy boundaries – Proverbs 4:23. Boundaries protect the marriage from external threats and internal weaknesses.
d) Renewing commitment to the marriage covenant – Malachi 2:14. Restoration requires recommitting to the vows and responsibilities of marriage.
Biblical Example: Ruth and Boaz built their relationship on trust, integrity, and honour (Ruth 3-4). These values restore and sustain love in marriage.
CONCLUSION
Every troubled marriage can experience restoration when God is invited in, wounds are healed, and partners commit to rebuilding with humility. Love can be rekindled, trust can be restored, and emotional intimacy can flourish again. God specialises in bringing beauty out of brokenness and hope out of discouragement.
No matter how deep the hurt or how long the struggle, God’s grace is stronger. When couples choose forgiveness, communication, prayer, and unconditional love, the Holy Spirit breathes life into the marriage anew. Restoration is possible, healing is available, and love can be reborn.
PRAYER POINTS
1. Lord, heal every emotional wound that has created distance in my marriage.
2. Lord, restore genuine love, affection, and unity between me and my spouse.
3. Lord, break every spirit of misunderstanding and confusion working against my marriage.
4. Lord, give us the grace to forgive one another genuinely and completely.
5. Lord, rebuild trust where it has been broken and restore honesty in our relationship.
6. Lord, help us return to You as the true foundation of our marriage.
7. Lord, revive our communication and help us speak with kindness and understanding.
8. Lord, remove every negative influence fighting against the peace of our home.
9. Lord, renew our commitment to each other and to our covenant before You.
10. Lord, let Your love reign supremely in our marriage from today forward.
