Lord Abner: When Power Shifts and Hearts Are Revealed
November 19, 2025
Dr. Bradford Reaves
Crossway Christian Fellowship
2 Samuel 3:1-12
When you look back through history, there are always certain figures who never wear a crown, never win an election, and never sit on a throne — yet somehow, they hold all the power. Grigori Rasputin was one of those men. He rose from obscurity in Russia to become the shadow controlling the royal throne of Nicholas II. The czar technically ruled the nation, but Rasputin ruled the czar. He manipulated decisions, dominated weak leaders, intimidated anyone who challenged him, and strengthened his grip on the palace until the entire empire shook under the weight of his influence. You never find his name on a title, but you always find his fingerprints on the throne.
Tonight, as we open 2 Samuel 3, we meet Israel’s Rasputin — a man named Abner, who secretly controlled a weak king, manipulated the kingdom for his own power, and almost reshaped the nation from the shadows. This is one of the most politically charged, tension-filled chapters in David’s rise to the throne.
It’s a story of a long war, shifting alliances, corrupt motives, weak leadership, a dangerous strongman, a heartbroken husband, and the slow, sovereign hand of God moving His kingdom forward through deeply flawed people. It’s messy, raw, painfully human, and filled with spiritual lessons for today — especially for leadership, spiritual warfare, and understanding how God’s purposes often unfold gradually, not instantly.
I. The Long War and God’s Slow Sovereignty (v. 1)
There was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David. And David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul became weaker and weaker. (2 Samuel 3:1)
This single verse is the banner over the entire chapter. It’s the Holy Spirit’s interpretive lens. There was a long war. Not a spectacular moment. Not a sudden takeover. Not an instant elevation. David’s ascent to the throne of all Israel unfolded slowly, through years of waiting, conflict, endurance, distrust, political tension, and spiritual formation. That is often how God works.
While the world looks for shortcuts, God strengthens His servants through the long obedience of faithfulness. David grew stronger — not because he manipulated his way to the throne, but because God’s hand was upon him, shaping him through adversity.
Meanwhile, Saul’s house grew weaker. Not because David attacked them. Not because David undermined them. But because God had already rejected Saul’s line — and when God withdraws His blessing, decline is inevitable.
This is a powerful reminder: God establishes kingdoms. God removes kingdoms. And God strengthens His servants in His timing, not theirs.
II. David’s Sons and the Subtle Danger of Compromise (vv. 2–5)
And sons were born to David at Hebron: his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel; 3 and his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur; 4 and the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; and the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital; 5 and the sixth, Ithream, of Eglah, David’s wife. These were born to David in Hebron. (2 Samuel 3:2–5)
At first glance, this looks like a simple genealogy. But it is far more than that. These six sons — born to six different wives. They are a quiet warning light blinking in the background. David is doing something culturally acceptable for kings… but spiritually dangerous. God explicitly commanded Israel’s kings in Deuteronomy 17:17: “He shall not multiply wives for himself.”
David is not in open rebellion — but he is compromising. And compromise always grows consequences. David Guzik makes a crucial point here: Scripture doesn’t pause the story to condemn David’s polygamy directly; instead, it shows the devastating fruit later.
• Amnon raped his sister Tamar
• Absalom murdered Amnon, rebelled, and tried to overthrow David
• Adonijah attempted a coup for the throne and was killed
• The remaining sons are either spiritually insignificant or died young
God blessed David despite his polygamy — not because of it. Grace does not erase consequences. This section sets the stage: even godly leaders have blind spots. And when the Lord blesses us, we must be especially alert to the compromises we’re tempted to ignore.
III. Abner’s Power and Ish-bosheth’s Weakness (vv. 6–11)
This is a major section that helps us understand the dynamics at hand. There are several players on the field and only one is God’s man. The others are vying for power and when that happens we see clear winners, losers, victims, villains, and victors.
A. Abner Strengthens His Grip on the Throne
While there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, Abner was making himself strong in the house of Saul. (2 Samuel 3:6)
Here we meet the real political force in Saul’s dynasty. Abner is not just a general. He is a manipulator. A strategist. A power broker. A man who backs a weak king because it lets him rule from behind the throne. He is the ancient world’s version of the modern deep-state operator — the man who never holds office, but holds all the power. He loves influence. He loves leverage. He loves control. And he loves weak leaders who need him.
We’ve seen these actors in history, around the world, and in our own government. These are some of the most dangerous people. Spiritually, Abner represents the type of person the enemy often uses within the church: gifted, competent, and charismatic but self-serving, manipulative, territorial, and dangerous. These are the people who “thrive” under weak leadership.
B. Ish-bosheth’s Accusation (vv. 7)
Now Saul had a concubine whose name was Rizpah, the daughter of Aiah. And Ish-bosheth said to Abner, “Why have you gone in to my father’s concubine?” (2 Samuel 3:7)
In the ancient world, taking a deceased king’s concubine meant claiming his throne. Whether Abner was guilty or the accusation was political theater, the point is clear: Ish-bosheth tries to assert authority. He tries to stand up to the bully. And it backfires instantly.
C. Abner Explodes (vv. 8–10)
Then Abner was very angry over the words of Ish-bosheth and said, “Am I a dog’s head of Judah? To this day I keep showing steadfast love to the house of Saul your father, to his brothers, and to his friends, and have not given you into the hand of David. And yet you charge me today with a fault concerning a woman. (2 Samuel 3:8)
Abner erupts — loudly, defensively, aggressively. This is classic bully behavior. When confronted, even gently, they lash out to reassert dominance. He even invokes God to justify himself:
God do so to Abner and more also, if I do not accomplish for David what the Lord has sworn to him, 10 to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan to Beersheba. (2 Samuel 3:9–10)
This is stunning hypocrisy: Abner knew David was God’s chosen king and therefore he knew that resisting David was resisting God. Yet he fought against David anyway until he got offended. This is a powerful spiritual truth: Many people fight against what they KNOW is God’s will — until their pride is injured.
Abner is the picture of a man who does the right thing for the wrong reasons. He’s not convicted. He’s not repentant. He isn’t suddenly awakened to the will of God or humbled by the promises spoken over David years earlier. He doesn’t switch sides because he fears the Lord—he switches sides because he’s offended. His pride is wounded, his ego is threatened, and his power is slipping, so he pivots. Abner’s loyalty was never rooted in righteousness; it was rooted in self-preservation. And that means his “repentance” isn’t repentance at all—it’s repositioning. It’s political expediency. It’s a man trying to stay in charge even as the ground shifts beneath his feet.
All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. (Proverbs 16:2)
Every believer needs to recognize this kind of person—because Abner isn’t just a historical figure. He shows up today in relationships, churches, ministries, workplaces, and spiritual battles. This is the person who will walk with you as long as it benefits them. They agree with you when you’re useful, but they will attack you when you question them.
But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. (James 3:14–16)
In reality, Abner was a spiritually weak man and in spiritual warfare offended people are dangerous people. The enemy loves to take the Abners of life—talented, influential, confident individuals—and turn their pride into a weapon. This is why discernment is so critical. Not everyone who suddenly agrees with you is aligned with God.
Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? (Matthew 7:15–16)
Abner reminds us: motives matter as much as actions. Doing the right thing for the wrong reason is still the wrong thing in the eyes of God. That is wisdom every one of us needs in our spiritual battles today.
1. Do the Wrong Thing With the Wrong Spirit
This is open rebellion — when behavior and motives are both out of alignment with God.
• David with Bathsheba
• Jonah running from God
• Saul offering the unlawful sacrifice
• Both the action and the attitude are sinful.
2. Do the Wrong Thing With the Right Spirit
• This is when the heart desires good, but the execution is wrong or immature.
• Peter slicing off Malchus’ ear
• Uzzah touching the ark with good intent
• The motive is sincere, but the action is misguided.
3. Do the Right Thing With the Wrong Spirit
• This is Abner. Right action — wrong motive.
• Jesus warns against this constantly:
• Pharisees praying, giving, fasting
• Saul offering sacrifice to look spiritual
• Jonah preaching with hatred in his heart
4. Do the Right Thing With the Right Spirit
• This is the sweet spot of Spirit-filled obedience.
• Right actions.
• Right motives.
• Right heart.
• Right spirit.
Examples:
• David sparing Saul
• Joseph forgiving his brothers
• Jesus washing feet
This is a warning for us:
• Not everyone who “switches sides” is repentant.
• Not everyone who seems suddenly supportive is sincere.
• Some people do the right thing simply because their pride got wounded
D. Ish-bosheth Collapses (v. 11)
And Ish-bosheth could not answer Abner another word, because he feared him. (2 Samuel 3:11)
This is the tragic essence of weak leadership.
• Weak leaders fear confrontation.
• Weak leaders fear strong personalities.
• Weak leaders fear losing approval.
• Weak leaders fear upsetting the wrong person.
Spiritual bullies thrive in environments where leaders fear them more than they fear God.
IV. Abner Attempts to Shift National Power (vv. 12–16)
A. Abner Makes a Proposition to David (v. 12)
And Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf, saying, “To whom does the land belong? Make your covenant with me, and behold, my hand shall be with you to bring over all Israel to you.” (2 Samuel 3:12)
Notice Abner’s language: “My hand shall be with you.” He is still the hero of his own story Abner changes kingdoms like people change political parties — when it benefits them.
B. David’s One Condition: Bring Michal (vv. 13–16)
And he said, “Good; I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you; that is, you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul’s daughter, when you come to see my face. 14 Then David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son, saying, “Give me my wife Michal, for whom I paid the bridal price of a hundred foreskins of the Philistines.” 15 And Ish-bosheth sent and took her from her husband Paltiel the son of Laish. 16 But her husband went with her, weeping after her all the way to Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, “Go, return.” And he returned. (2 Samuel 3:13–16)
This is one of the most difficult parts of the chapter, especially for Western readers. To us, removing a woman from her husband feels cruel. But in the ancient world, the situation is completely different.
First, Michal was legally David’s wife because David paid the bride price and so he married her by covenant. She loved him and Saul unjustly took her away. This was David’s covenant wife — stolen from him as part of Saul’s attempt to destroy him.
Therefore, Paltiel’s marriage to Michal was unlawful. He was a victim of Saul’s abuse of power. He was not a villain and his heartbreak is gut-wrenching, but the Bible doesn’t hide the pain “Her husband went with her, weeping… and Abner said to him, ‘Go, return!’ And he returned.”
The Holy Spirit leaves it in the text to remind us of a painful truth: Leadership decisions — even right decisions — often have painful consequences for innocent people. This is not David’s cruelty. This is Saul’s sin rippling into the future. When leaders sin, others suffer. When leaders break covenant, others weep. There are decisions we must make that are right and painful at the same time. This is one of these cases the Bible talks about.
Conclusion:
As we pause the story tonight at verse 16, we leave the narrative at a moment of massive transition in Israel’s history. Abner has just “switched sides,” but not because he fears the Lord or loves the truth. He moves toward David out of offense, self-preservation, and political ambition—classic Abner motives. Ish-bosheth remains the weak, fearful leader who cannot stand against the very man who props him up. And David, though flawed in his family decisions, displays discernment by refusing to fully engage with Abner until he returns Michal, the wife who was taken from him by Saul’s spite.
The chapter so far reveals profound spiritual lessons: people can do the right thing with the wrong heart; motives matter just as much as actions; and in spiritual warfare, the most dangerous individuals are often those who “change their allegiance” not out of repentance but out of personal offense. These are the Abner-types who move when pride is wounded, not when truth is embraced. Scripture calls us to discern that dynamic—not with suspicion, but with wisdom.
