Forgiveness and the Enemy Who Becomes Brother
Today we are continuing in our September series on the topic of forgiveness.
We decided to do this series because as we spoke with individuals over the last while, we heard a very common theme of many of us struggling with forgiveness. What is it? Why does it matter? What is the point of forgiveness?
If today’s theme stirs pain, you’re not alone. If you need a quiet space, we have one available, just down the hall near reception; and our pastors are ready to sit with you. Just fold your arms over your chest and we will come to you as best we can.
Forgiveness is not pretending, excusing, or returning to unsafe situations. Reconciliation requires safety, repentance, and wisdom; forgiveness is the Spirit’s work in our hearts that releases revenge into God’s hands.
Some of us hear “forgiveness” and think, “So…a spiritual lobotomy?” No. Forgiveness isn’t amnesia; it’s entrusting the debt to the only Judge who never misreads a case.
And as you might have picked up from the Scripture readings we're going to talk about Stephen, and we're going to talk about Paul. The Church Universal has long referred to both of them by their saintly titles: St Stephen, and St Paul.
So we're going to walk through snapshots of the experiences of both of these men and see if we can come to an understanding of what forgiveness is, how we can do it, how it can change us and how it can potentially have a large impact on the world around us.
Stephen - A Wronged Man
Stephen was a good man. The book of Acts says that: They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit.
He was a man of profound faith in Jesus. He was a man who demonstrated by his life, by his conversation and by his actions that he was full of the Holy Spirit.
That suggests that he was mature in the faith. Very often the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience etc... takes significant time to develop in new believers, as the sanctification process unfolds in our lives.
That’s completely normal. He was known as a good man.
He took on a role as a deacon, to ensure that no one was overlooked in the distribution of food among those who were widows.
The widows could have included those who had husbands who were killed for following Christ.
Steven is also described as a man who performed great wonders and signs among the people. He was also highly articulate and effective at conveying the gospel.
Luke records that Stephen was opposed by members of the synagogue who stirred up false charges against him (Acts 6:8–14).
When he stood before the Sanhedrin, Stephen boldly traced Israel’s history of resisting God’s messengers and concluded with these cutting words:
“You stiff-necked people … you always resist the Holy Spirit” (Acts 7:51).
Enraged, the leaders dragged him out and stoned him, while “the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul” (Acts 7:58).
So Stephen was a man who spoke the truth about God and about people, but it was not something that any of the leaders wanted to hear. Not at all.
What happened to him has happened all too commonly to those who have spoken with prophetic power—he was killed, stoned to death for his truthfulness and honesty. Stephen was a man who was wronged.
Stephen – A Forgiving Man
Luke tells us: “While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, ‘Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.’ Then he fell on his knees and cried out, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them.’ When he had said this, he fell asleep.” (Acts 7:59–60)
Even in the very moment of his execution, Stephen exuded the grace of God. What he did was not normal. It was not humanly explainable.
The natural instinct when wronged— let alone being murdered—is to lash out, to curse, to harden. But Stephen prayed for blessing and forgiveness on his enemies.
At one level, it’s a very strange thing to have done.
It makes no sense to the secular or atheist mind. I know—it would not have made any sense to me when I was an atheist.
Yet this is precisely the strange and beautiful power of the gospel: the Spirit of Christ within us makes possible what our natural selves cannot.
Stephen embodied in his dying breath what Tertullian, one of the early fathers of the church, once observed: “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church.” His death was not wasted; it was a witness.
C.S. Lewis once wrote, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
That’s what Stephen was doing in real time—reflecting the mercy of God at the very moment when the opposite, cruelty and injustice, were crushing him.
And more recently, Philip Yancey put it simply and powerfully: “Grace, like water, always flows downward.”
Stephen - A Conduit of Grace Impacting Others, Including His enemies.
It is natural, in moments like this, to focus on what was lost. Stephen was likely a young man, gifted, full of promise, and deeply devoted to his Saviour, Jesus Christ.
At first glance, his death feels like a tragic waste. But Scripture reminds us otherwise: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Stephen was the first martyr of the Church. To human eyes, it seems senseless—brutal, untimely, and unfair. Yet when we look closely at the text, we notice someone else standing in the crowd that day.
“At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul” (Acts 7:57–58).
Even here, in what looks like terrible loss, God was already planting the seeds of something greater.
On that day, grace flowed downward from heaven through Stephen, landing not just on the stones at his feet but into the conscience of a young man present for his martyrdom named Saul.
So yes, Stephen was wronged. But in his wronging, he bore witness to Christ. And in his forgiveness, he showed us the strange, disruptive mercy of God that can only come through the Spirit of Jesus.
When I first read this short reference to Saul when I was a young Christian, I had no idea what this was referring to. It seemed to me to be a very strange random comment to toss into the narrative. Always, without context, we will lack understanding. In order to understand something we always need context.
That young man named Saul had within him a burning passion. It was a profound passion to honor God.
And in his young mind at the time, his best thinking was that the best way to honor God and to glorify the name of God was destroy this new way of thinking, the mindset that Stephen had just expressed in his lengthy speech about the history of God that showed the faithfulness of God and the faithlessness of God’s people.
If Stephen had not prayed, the church would not have had Paul.” — Augustine
That line from Augustine cuts right to the heart of it: God often works through what looks like tragedy, even injustice.
Stephen’s martyrdom was more than a lamentation; it was a hinge-moment. And here’s another passage that helps connect the dots:
From the book of Acts 8:1 “And Saul approved of his execution.… That day a severe persecution began against the Church in Jerusalem, and they were all scattered throughout the countryside of Judea and Samaria.”
Because of Stephen’s witness and death, the believers were forced out, scattered — and the Gospel went with them. Doors opened. People were reached in new places.
The seed exploded outward. Saul was there at the stoning — that experience, that guilt, that confrontation with truth, became part of the refining fire that later shaped him as Paul, the apostle to the Gentiles.
Jesus once said, “Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds” (John 12:24).
Stephen’s death was just such a seed. What looked like the end of his life was in fact the planting of something God would use for the growth of His Church.
The persecution that followed scattered believers into new regions, carrying the gospel farther than it had ever gone before.
And among those present that day was Saul, who would become Paul, the greatest missionary the Church has ever known. Saul was his Hebrew name. His name in Greek was Paul. Same guy, referred throughout the NT by both names.
The seed that fell in Stephen bore fruit in Paul—and through Paul, in countless churches and generations of believers.
Saul/Paul - A Pharisee, A Violent Man
I don't believe that Paul started out intending to be a violent man.
I think that Paul was raised in a certain mindset, a certain tradition, a certain way of thinking about God, and definitely with a very high respect for the Torah.
Paul’s training as a Pharisee prepared him to detect and confront any threat to the Torah.
The Pharisees themselves arose from Israel’s deep wounds in history.
Time and again, when foreign empires oppressed Israel, the prophets linked that suffering to the people’s disobedience and pursuit of false gods.
After the temple was reclaimed and restored, though for a brief period in the 2nd century BC, the Pharisees inherited a fierce resolve: never again would Israel lose its covenant identity.
Their zeal to guard the Law—even by building extra traditions around it—was meant to keep the nation faithful.
Paul carried that same passion. Before meeting Christ, he understood his mission as protecting Israel from unfaithfulness, whatever it cost.
That helps us understand his mindset at Stephen’s execution: he believed he was serving God by stamping out threats within the nation.
Let's look at some passages that give us insight into who Paul was before his conversion:
Before his conversion, Paul (then Saul) was a fierce persecutor of Christians.
From Acts:
He was present and approving at Stephen’s stoning (Acts 7:58–8:1).
He actively destroyed the church, dragging believers into prison (Acts 8:3).
He made murderous threats and sought authority to arrest Christians in Damascus (Acts 9:1–2).
He confessed to persecuting followers “to their death,” imprisoning both men and women (Acts 22:4–5).
He admitted casting votes for their execution, punishing them, and trying to force them to blaspheme (Acts 26:9–11).
From Paul’s own letters:
He acknowledged his past as one who intensely persecuted the church and tried to destroy it (Galatians 1:13).
He described his zeal as “persecuting the church,” while being outwardly righteous under the law (Philippians 3:6).
He called himself unworthy to be an apostle because he had persecuted the church (1 Corinthians 15:9).
He admitted being a blasphemer, persecutor, and violent man, though he was shown mercy in his ignorance (1 Timothy 1:13).
Paul openly confessed that before encountering Christ, he was a violent persecutor of Christians—approving executions, imprisoning believers, and trying to destroy the church.
His letters reflect deep humility and gratitude for God’s mercy in transforming him from a persecutor into an apostle.
And as we've seen, Paul was present and supportive of the murder of Steven, the first martyr of the church.
Paul - A Forgiven Man
So yes, Paul starts out as Stephen’s enemy. But Paul is the subject of Steven's prayer. “Lord, do not hold this sin against them”. 7 words uttered by a man in the throes of death.
Stephen prayed, really, for the forgiveness of his murderers. Again, taking us back to that very moment,
Acts 22:20 Paul said: And when the blood of your martyr Stephen was shed, I stood there giving my approval and guarding the clothes of those who were killing him.
And we've read how a significant persecution broke out against the church, causing the disciples of Jesus to be spread far and wide, carrying with them the gospel of Jesus.
In chapter 9, Saul isn’t mildly annoyed, slightly put off or miffed—he is “breathing threats,” dragging believers to prison (Acts 8:3; 9:1–2).
Then Christ interrupts: “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” (Acts 9).
Temporarily blinded, Paul was led into Damascus, where the believer Ananias prayed for him, and his sight was restored.
Baptized and filled with the Holy Spirit, Paul immediately began proclaiming Jesus as the Son of God.
This dramatic reversal—from persecutor to preacher—became the foundation of his authority.
Over time, through tireless missionary journeys, church planting, and Spirit-inspired letters, Paul emerged as the chief apostle to the Gentiles, carrying the gospel far beyond Israel and shaping the theology and mission of the early church.
Paul’s conversion was not only the beginning of his mission but also a profound experience of God’s forgiveness.
Once the fiercest enemy of the Church, hunting down believers and approving their deaths, he was met by Christ with mercy instead of judgment.
His restored sight became more than a physical healing—it was the opening of his eyes to the grace and truth of the Gospel.
From then on, Paul poured out his life to proclaim Christ, never forgetting his past as a persecutor.
That memory did not weigh him down in shame; it deepened his humility and gratitude, fuelling his testimony that God’s grace is greater than all sin.
Grace does not negotiate with our past; it names it—and then remakes us. The church’s fiercest opponent becomes its most tireless missionary.
Paul never sanitises his past: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.” (1 Tim. 1:15)
In the words of C.S. Lewis, reflecting on the transforming power of grace, “I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him” (Letters of C.S. Lewis).
Paul embodied that truth, living forgiven and free, never denying his past but always magnifying the mercy of Christ.
Think of it like a backpack full of rocks that you’ve been carrying labelled “what they did,” “what I said,” “what I wish I’d said.” Forgiveness doesn’t rewrite history; it hands the backpack to Jesus. You still remember the trail—but you can breathe again.
I want to pause for a minute and ask you to reflect on your life. If you are a follower of Jesus, you know that you have been forgiven.
You know that you have been forgiven much. If you're very familiar with the scriptures you know that God forgave us while we were still behaving like his enemies.
He did not wait for us to get our act together, not in the slightest.
Romans 5:8–10 (NIV): But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!
If you are not yet a follower of Jesus, I want you to know that no matter what you have done, no matter what you have thought, no matter how you have acted upon your thoughts,
no matter anything that's been done to you, no matter any pain or trauma you have been through,
God loves you with a love that is big enough to completely transform your life, if you would simply say yes to His love.
The key to life transformation is Jesus Christ, and that is simply because the gospel is true, the love of God is real, and the power of God is present through the Holy Spirit to bring about the change that we need in order to live life in the fullest way that we can.
What does God need from you? Simple faith. As tiny as a mustard seed.
Simple trust. Trusting that Jesus Is the Son of God and that he gave his life for you. Get back to our Scripture.
Paul - A Conduit of Grace impacting the Whole World
Paul was the enemy who became a brother. Paul had great mercy extended to him.
First, as we've seen, he had mercy extended to him in a simple prayer, the last words of a man that he was directly involved in killing.
Steven extended this grace, not having any idea who Saul/Paul was
The same way that Jesus on the cross prayed for those who had crucified him saying, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do”, Jesus’ Young Disciple, Stephen directed that prayer at all those who were present unjustly and sinfully murdering Stephen.
Stephen—later remembered as St. Stephen—wasn’t some “super Christian.” He was a young follower of Jesus in the mid-30s AD, when the church was still brand new. Yet he quickly grew in maturity, showed clear spiritual gifting, and was entrusted with significant leadership.
We don’t need to be spiritual giants to forgive our enemies. God simply calls us, like Stephen, to obey—to let the forgiveness we’ve received overflow in real, practical ways toward those who have wronged us.
You’ve likely heard the phrase “Judeo-Christian worldview” or “Judeo-Christian values.” It points to the influence of both Judaism and Christianity on the world.
At its heart, this begins with God’s revelation to the Jewish people—the moral law and the covenant life they were called to.
Through the ministry of the Apostle Paul, that revelation was carried beyond the Jewish world into the Gentile world, shaping the moral and spiritual framework of much of our own.
Here are a few places where Paul speaks humbly and honestly about his past, in ways that show his deep awareness of God’s mercy:
1 Corinthians 15:9 – “For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.” 1 Timothy 1:15 – “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.” Ephesians 3:8 – “Although I am less than the least of all the Lord’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the boundless riches of Christ.”
These verses remind us that Paul never forgot his past, but instead used it as a backdrop to magnify the grace of Christ. His weakness and failures only made God’s mercy shine brighter.
I have no idea who has forgiven you. I have no idea who you have forgiven. I have no idea who still needs to forgive you.
I have no idea who you still need to forgive. In our sermon series so far in September, on the topic of forgiveness, we have spoken about the importance of forgiving others.
We have talked about how our own spiritual well being, our own mental health and even our own physical health is directly tied to our willingness to forgive those who have hurt us.
This is a deep thing. This is a tall order. Nothing in the Christian faith is for the faint of heart.
Knowing all of this, That's why we decided to do this series, and to produce the Weekly Devotionals on this topic to provide an opportunity for those who wish to take it, to grow in their faith, to mature in their spirituality, and to perhaps discover a type of freedom that they have never yet experienced.
One of my favorite looping scriptures is Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
My friends, this is all about Liberty. It's about my Liberty. It's about your Liberty. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
And the same Jesus who forgave his executioners, invites us to the journey of forgiving those who have hurt us the most.
The end goal of this is so that we might be free. That the pain that we are living with, caused by others, would not continue to impact our world going forward.
That our experiences, the things that have hurt us the most in the past, the things that we regret the most, would for us, like they would for Paul,
be nothing more than continual reminders of the magnificent, liberating Grace of God expressed in Jesus Christ.
From Them to Us: Practising Spirit-Empowered Forgiveness
What forgiveness is not:
- Not denial or minimising harm.
- Not immediate reconciliation.
- Not removing wise boundaries.
- Not the same as legal justice (which may still be necessary).
What forgiveness is:
- A Spirit-empowered release of the right to repay, entrusting the case to God (Rom. 12:19).
- A movement toward freedom: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” (Gal. 5:1)
Three simple practices this week:
1. Pray Stephen’s prayer for one person—exactly one sentence: “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” If that’s too much, begin with: “Lord, make me willing to be willing.”
2. Write a letter you won’t send. Tell the truth about the wound. Then place it in a Bible at Romans 5:8–10 as an act of entrustment.
3. Bless at one concrete point. If safe and appropriate, speak one true blessing in prayer or privately: “Father, do good to them in ways that lead them to You.”
Some of us are ready to bless—as long as God starts with a mild case of food poisoning. Let’s aim a little higher.
Boundary note: If there is ongoing danger, involve wise helpers. Forgiveness may be immediate; reconciliation may never be possible. God’s grace does not return people to harm.
Let’s pray: Lord Jesus, we come to You as people who know what it is to be wronged, and who know what it is to wrong others.
We thank You for the witness of Stephen, who prayed for his enemies even as the stones fell. We thank You for the mercy shown to Paul, the enemy who became a brother.
Father, some of us carry wounds that still ache. Some of us hold names and faces in our minds right now—people we struggle to forgive.
By Your Spirit, give us courage to hand over the debts we cling to, and faith to believe that Your justice and Your mercy are enough. Teach us that forgiveness is not weakness but freedom. Teach us that grace is not forgetting, but releasing.
And let the forgiveness we have received in Christ overflow to others, so that the world may see Your strange and beautiful mercy at work in us.
Make us conduits of grace, like Stephen. Make us transformed witnesses, like Paul. And set us free—truly free—in the love of Christ. In His name we pray, Amen.
