Jonathan & David - A Covenant of Godly Friendship
July 2, 2025
Dr. Bradford Reaves
Crossway Christian Fellowship
1 Samuel 18
Introduction: The Kind of Friendship Hell Hates
There’s a kind of friendship that hell can’t stand, but it is a necessity to the believer’s life.
It’s the kind that isn’t based on convenience or common interest — but covenant.
It’s not built in the shallow waters of comfort, but forged in the fire of faith, loyalty, and spiritual mission.
It’s the kind of unity that makes Satan tremble — because when two believers are knit together by God, they become a weapon of heaven’s making.
In a world where betrayal, competition, and isolation are the norm… godly friendship is radical.
In a Church fractured by division, pride, and petty disagreements… Spirit-born unity is revolutionary.
And yet — it’s what Jesus prayed for in His final hours: “that they may all be one” (John 17:21).
Satan has always tried to divide what God joins together — whether it’s marriages, churches, or friends. If he can’t destroy you outright, he’ll isolate you, whisper lies, stir suspicion, and sever spiritual bonds.
That’s why the friendship of Jonathan and David matters so much.
This isn’t just a feel-good story about two guys who got along.
This is a glimpse into what happens when God weaves two souls together for a purpose greater than themselves.
Jonathan was a king’s son. David was a shepherd’s son.
But in God’s eyes — they were brothers. Warriors. Covenantal friends.
And their friendship stood in stark contrast to the toxic jealousy, insecurity, and manipulation of Saul.
As we study 1 Samuel 18 today, here’s what I want you to see: When the Holy Spirit knits souls together, hell will try to unravel them. But God-honoring friendship — born of loyalty, sacrifice, and truth — is one of the Church’s greatest weapons in the battle for unity.
I. A Bond Beyond Brotherhood (vv. 1–4)
1 As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. (1 Samuel 18:1–4)
Chapter 17 ends with David standing before King Saul, fresh off the battlefield, still holding Goliath’s severed head. (That’s not just a power move — that’s spiritual authority in action.)
David has done what Israel’s seasoned warriors, including Saul and Jonathan, would not: he faced the enemy by faith in the living God. And something ignites in Jonathan’s heart.
Jonathan saw something in David he had longed for — someone who believed God the same way he did. Rewind to 1 Samuel 14, and you’ll remember Jonathan saying to his armor-bearer: “Nothing can hinder the LORD from saving by many or by few.”
That same warrior faith lived in David. And when their eyes met, their spirits recognized each other. Not in competition. Not in envy. But in divine kinship.
This is the moment when the Holy Spirit knits two souls together for a God-sized mission.
The Hebrew word qashar means “to bind, fasten, or tie together.” It’s covenantal, not casual. This is the same language used in describing deep loyalty or even binding oaths in Hebrew culture. This was not emotional affection alone — it was spiritual loyalty. A unity forged not in bloodline or background, but in belief.
This is what true Christian friendship looks like: soul-level solidarity in the things of God.
Jonathan enters into a covenant with David — and it’s nothing short of royal surrender:
He gives David his robe – a symbol of identity and position as heir to the throne.
His armor, sword, bow, and belt – symbols of strength, authority, and trust.
It’s as if Jonathan says, “I recognize the anointing of God on your life, and I will not fight it — I will serve it.”
Remember, as Saul’s son, Jonathan is not only the prince, but as the first born, he is technically, the Crowned Prince, of Israel.
That’s humility. That’s honor. And that’s a covenant.
Refuting the Nonsense:
Let’s address the elephant in the liberal living room: Some have twisted this text into a claim that Jonathan and David had a homosexual relationship.
Let’s be plain — this is biblically, linguistically, and morally absurd.
The word “love” used here (ahav) is also used of Abraham loving Isaac, of Israel loving the Lord.
This love is chesed — covenantal, loyal, selfless, God-honoring love.
The text gives no hint of sexual connotation — only those reading with a corrupt lens insert that into the passage.
What we see is something our world desperately lacks: two men with fierce, godly affection and spiritual loyalty who sharpen each other for God’s glory.
Application:
Who has God placed in your life to spiritually “knit” you to?
In your friendships and relationships, are you loyal like Jonathan — or insecure like Saul?
Are your friendships surface-level, or forged in the fire of faith?
II. The Rise of David and the Rot of Jealousy (vv. 5–11)
And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war. And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants. 6 As they were coming home, when David returned from striking down the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments. 7 And the women sang to one another as they celebrated, “Saul has struck down his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” 8 And Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands, and what more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 And Saul eyed David from that day on. 10 The next day a harmful spirit from God rushed upon Saul, and he raved within his house while David was playing the lyre, as he did day by day. Saul had his spear in his hand. 11 And Saul hurled the spear, for he thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” But David evaded him twice. (1 Samuel 18:5–11)
David doesn’t just survive the battlefield — he thrives everywhere Saul sends him.
He carries himself with wisdom, wins the admiration of the troops, and gains the approval of the people.
He isn’t striving — he’s walking in the anointing. And when that happens, people notice.
When God’s favor is on your life, you don’t have to self-promote. You just have to obey.
Saul places David over the men of war — not because he trusts him, but because he’s trying to contain him. Keep your enemies close, right?
Cue the parade. The women of Israel come out singing, tambourines in hand: “Saul has struck down his thousands, and David his ten thousands.”
And just like that, the king’s ego is lit like a match in dry brush.
This wasn’t rebellion — this was recognition. But Saul, driven by pride and insecurity, hears prophecy in their praise: “What more can he have but the kingdom?” (v. 8)
Saul’s jealousy is more than emotional instability. It’s spiritual rebellion.
He sees what God is doing — and he resents it. That’s not just insecurity… that’s enmity with the Lord.
The next day, Saul is afflicted by a harmful spirit — again — and David, ever faithful, is playing music to soothe him.
Saul responds by grabbing a spear and trying to pin David to the wall. Twice.
What had David done? Nothing… except walk in obedience.
Saul’s issue wasn’t with David. His issue was with God — and David was just in the way.
Don’t be surprised when obedience draws fire. The enemy hates favor.
Sometimes the spears come from people who used to sing your praises.
Jealousy always escalates into violence — maybe not physical, but verbal, emotional, or spiritual.
Questions:
Do I rejoice when others are promoted, or do I “eyeball” them like Saul?
Am I obeying God, even when the spears start flying?
Who do I resemble more — Saul in insecurity, or David in faithfulness?
III. Manipulation Masquerading as Honor (vv. 12–27)
Saul was afraid of David because the Lord was with him but had departed from Saul. 13 So Saul removed him from his presence and made him a commander of a thousand. And he went out and came in before the people. 14 And David had success in all his undertakings, for the Lord was with him. 15 And when Saul saw that he had great success, he stood in fearful awe of him. 16 But all Israel and Judah loved David, for he went out and came in before them. 17 Then Saul said to David, “Here is my elder daughter Merab. I will give her to you for a wife. Only be valiant for me and fight the Lord’s battles.” For Saul thought, “Let not my hand be against him, but let the hand of the Philistines be against him.” 18 And David said to Saul, “Who am I, and who are my relatives, my father’s clan in Israel, that I should be son-in-law to the king?” 19 But at the time when Merab, Saul’s daughter, should have been given to David, she was given to Adriel the Meholathite for a wife. 20 Now Saul’s daughter Michal loved David. And they told Saul, and the thing pleased him. 21 Saul thought, “Let me give her to him, that she may be a snare for him and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.” Therefore Saul said to David a second time, “You shall now be my son-in-law.” 22 And Saul commanded his servants, “Speak to David in private and say, ‘Behold, the king has delight in you, and all his servants love you. Now then become the king’s son-in-law.’” 23 And Saul’s servants spoke those words in the ears of David. And David said, “Does it seem to you a little thing to become the king’s son-in-law, since I am a poor man and have no reputation?” 24 And the servants of Saul told him, “Thus and so did David speak.” 25 Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’ ” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. 26 And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son-in-law. Before the time had expired, 27 David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife. (1 Samuel 18:12–27)
Saul knows he can’t kill David outright — not without backlash from the people.
So he starts scheming, hiding a dagger behind a handshake.
Saul is terrified of David — because he sees what others do not: “The LORD was with him but had departed from Saul.” (v. 12)
So he hatches a plan: Offer David his daughter Merab in marriage — a royal reward, right?
Wrong. It’s a trap.
“Only be valiant for me and fight the LORD’s battles.” (v. 17) Sounds spiritual. But Saul isn’t sending David to battle for the Lord — he’s hoping the Philistines will finish him off.
This is what manipulation often looks like: spiritual language masking sinful intent.
Manipulation is a form of witchcraft
David humbly refuses, saying he’s unworthy. Saul gives Merab to someone else.
Classic Saul move — promise the crown, then give it away… just like he did with the throne.
Michal the Snare (vv. 20–27): Next, Saul hears that Michal, his other daughter, loves David.
Saul uses people for his own purposes, even his own daughters
This sounds like romance, but Saul sees an opportunity: “Let me give her to him, that she may be a snare for him…” (v. 21)
Another trap. This time, Saul sets the price at 100 Philistine foreskins, hoping David dies trying.
David doesn’t just survive — he brings back double. One hundred wasn’t enough — he delivers two hundred.
And Saul has no choice but to give Michal to David.
God will sometimes turn the enemy’s snare into a stepping stone for you
Marriage Built on Manipulation: Let’s not miss this: This marriage begins not in love, but in strategy and sabotage.
Michal may love David, but her loyalties will be tested in the next chapter.
This is what happens when spiritual relationships are manipulated instead of submitted to God.
Questions
Have you ever experienced someone using spiritual-sounding manipulation to mask self-serving motives?
Do you trust God to defend you when others set traps
Are your relationships built on truth — or transactions?
When people try to play chess with God’s anointed, they forget: He’s the one who invented the board.
IV. Divided Loyalties and Growing Threats (vv. 28–30)
But when Saul saw and knew that the Lord was with David, and that Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved him, 29 Saul was even more afraid of David. So Saul was David’s enemy continually. 30 Then the commanders of the Philistines came out to battle, and as often as they came out David had more success than all the servants of Saul, so that his name was highly esteemed. (1 Samuel 18:28–30)
At this point, Saul isn’t just suspicious — he’s unraveling.
He sees two things he cannot control:
The LORD is with David
His firstborn son is with David
His own daughter loves David
Saul’s kingdom is now a house divided
Jealousy has now turned to full-blown fear, and fear into obsession.
Even with Saul plotting, David continues to win battles. “David had more success than all the servants of Saul, so that his name was highly esteemed.”
God is exalting David, not because David is pushing for power — but because he’s walking in faith, integrity, and obedience.
When you’re walking in God’s favor, expect opposition — sometimes even from those closest to you.
Divided loyalties destroy families, ministries, and leaders — unless those loyalties are surrendered to the Lordship of Christ.
Don’t let jealousy, pride, or fear make you fight what God is trying to bless.
Conclusion
Jonathan’s soul was knit to David. Saul’s heart was snared by bitterness.
One relationship gives life — the other breeds death.
Which direction are your loyalties pulling you?
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35)
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)
Let us be a people whose friendships are knit by God, forged in truth, and lived in sacrificial, covenant love.
