Summary: Reconciliation between people is more than an obligatory apology.

Apology Excepted

Two brothers had argued and vowed never to speak to each other until the other one apologized. They attended the same church but never said more than three words to each other. However, God began working on their hearts. They had always ignored foot washing, but on a special renewal weekend, without realizing the other would be there, they attended a foot washing service. The group was seated in a circle, and the two brothers sat almost across from each other. They wouldn’t make eye contact.

After a few songs, the men were given their instructions and began moving toward the basins. After just a moment of hesitation, both brothers stood up and met each other in the center. At first, nothing was said. They looked each other in the eye and embraced. The tears began to flow freely. They wept and apologized. Then they sat down and washed each other’s feet, healing the rift that had ruled their lives for decades.

The two men not only ended their decades-long feud with an apology, but also reconciled with penitent hearts. Simply saying “I’m sorry” can often be done with indifference. We will tell our friends, “I apologized. If she won’t accept it, it’s her problem.” God expects more of us than potentially empty words to soothe our consciences and check off an obligation.

Jesus didn’t apologize for His words or actions, even when He made people feel uncomfortable. Instead, He made a way to reconcile. Paul wrote (Romans 5:10, ESV):

For if, while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.

As always, Jesus doesn’t command us to do anything He hasn’t done. Reconciliation is no different. The cross was His means to reconnect with people who offended Him. He tells us to reconcile with each other. He doesn’t direct us to apologize insincerely and thoughtlessly. Listen to Matthew 5:23-24 (ESV, emphasis added):

23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Jesus didn’t say apologize only. The goal is to be reconciled. People matter to God and should to us. Jesus said reconciling precedes our worship. Our reconciliation begins with an apology and confessing our sins, but doesn’t end there. Genuine humility and forgiveness can lead to resolution.

For some people, complete reconciliation may be impossible. The loss of trust or the impact of deeply hurt feelings may prevent a return to full fellowship. When that happens, we follow Paul’s directions and “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Romans 12:18).

Before declaring independence in July 1776, the American colonists made a final, heartfelt attempt to reconcile with Great Britain through the Olive Branch Petition on July 5, 1775. The Second Continental Congress drafted it and sent it directly to King George III. It expressed loyalty to the crown and pleaded for the king to intervene and help resolve tensions between the colonies and Parliament. The colonists emphasized their desire to reconcile and remain British subjects, blaming Parliament—not the king—for oppressive policies such as the courts’ unjust decisions and the lack of representation. The King refused to read the Petition and issued a proclamation classifying the colonies as in a state of rebellion on August 23, 1775.

This rejection was a turning point. Many colonists who had hoped for resolution now saw independence as the only viable path forward. The Olive Branch Petition remains a powerful symbol of the colonists’ initial desire to avoid war, even as they prepared for it.

In our inconsistencies, we want to reunite with God when we sin, but we refuse to resolve our broken relationships. Notice how Jesus begins His instructions for reconciling with others (Matthew 5:21-22) before He launches into the solution:

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

Benjamin Rush took the ministry of reconciliation seriously (2 Corinthians 5:18) and played a pivotal role in reconciling Thomas Jefferson and John Adams. The two had been close friends before, during, and after the War of Independence. However, they became political enemies when Jefferson challenged Adams for the presidency. Their feud had lasted years until Rush, prompted by a prophetic dream, intervened and renewed their relationship. They died as friends on the same day, July 4, 1826, fifty years after Congress declared America’s independence.

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Keep The Light of Reconciliation Burning!

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