Welcome all the fathers, Stepfathers, Grandfathers and anyone who is playing that Goldy Father figure in the lives of our children.
If ever there was a time that we needed guidance, it is now especially in the area of the family and family life. With our most older students and parents here today, we are going to get serious this morning.
We are in a time where there is a direct attack on Genesis Chapter 1 to 11. Society wants us to ignore the Genesis creation account:
Genesis 1:26–28 (The clear reference to the family)
26. Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
27. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
28. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
Maleness and femaleness are creational, not contractual. They are divinely instituted rather than socially defined.
This aligns with our schools statement of faith - We believe in a heterosexual relationship within the confines of marriage between a natural man and a natural woman. (Genesis 2:22-24, Matthew 19:4-6)
The family is under attack. And why? Satan knows that civilization is based on family life. Society is made up
millions of families. Male and female, children and parents. If the family is broken, then society will be broken.
Now children and parents need to understand the importance of the family, and we need to align and be in obedience to the Word of God so that we don’t give Satan a foothold into our families.
Today we are going to look at a do an exposition of Ephesians 6: 1-4: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord"
If you read through the book of Ephesians, you will notice that this passage is at the end of a section where Paul is teaching about a life led by the Holy Spirit. A life controlled by the Holy Spirit. We will require the assistance of the Holy Spirit if we are to have families that honor the Lord.
The bible teaches that when we are led by the Holy Spirit, things in the family just function correctly. A proper functioning family is where we will all be submitting to one another, husbands and wifes are loving and honouring each other, children are obeying their parents and parents are bringing oversight over the children.
If we are led by the Holy Spirit, it effects how we live at home.
Ephesians 6 begins by speaking about obedience.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord
Obedience is the fundamental building block of the home.
Obedience is what makes a family work.
For society to function properly, obedience is a necessary quality.
If we look at the book of Romans in the first chapter, we get a glimpse of a culture that is falling apart. Included in the list of things that describes that culture, is disobedience to parents.
When you get to 2 Timothy, Paul describes what things are going to be like when Jesus comes back. Guess what’s on the list – 2 Timothy 3: 2 – disobedience to parents.
Let’s not forget that even Jesus himself was once a child and he had to submit to his earthly parents Mary and Joseph. Did you ever stop to think that once the God-Man was once the God-Teenager.
If we read from Luke 2: 51 ….. He was subject to his parents.
Do you see that our Lord and Savior, who took part in the world's creation, is submitting to a human father and mother?
Now Paul gives us 4 reasons why children must obey their parents:
1. It is a moral principle
Romans 6: 1 "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right"
What more can one say here, we must obey our parents just because it is right. I know that we are living in a time when it seems that there is no right or wrong but in our hearts, we know some things are just right and others are just wrong.
The fact that parents are older, have learnt and experienced so much of life, it is right for children to obey their parents.
Colossians 3: 20 – "children obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord
If you want to please the Lord do what is right"
2. Obedience comes with a promise
Ephesian 6: 2 - "Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise)"
The reference to a promise takes us all the way back to the 10 commandments.
Exodus 20: 12 - "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you"
I think we can except that this is an important commandment as none of the first 4 came with a promise.
We are to obey our parents because this is part of God’s design.
3. Obedience keeps us safe from harm.
Ephesians 6: 3 - "so that it may be well with you"
We all have to learn the importance of submission to those in authority. If we don’t learn it at home, we are going to battle all through life. Authority is learnt in the family and in the home.
I must tell you, when I was growing up, I knew the authority of my father. I nor my brothers would ever have rebelled against his authority.
Learning obedience at home has helped me all through my life as it has taught me how to value those in authority. When you get out into the working world, you will quickly learn that everybody reports to somebody. If you don’t learn what it means to submit and report to someone, you have no right to one day expect others to report to you.
4. Obedience promotes a long life.
Ephesians 6: 3 - "that you may live long on the earth"
In a more general sense, it's easy to see how learning respect for legitimate authority, as opposed to learning rebellion, has a profound impact on a child's chances in life.
Need I also reminder all that Submission to Authority is also in our statement of Faith:
We believe in submitting to authority, being in authority and under authority as all authority is God ordained. (Romans 13:1-5). I’m not going to read Romans 13. But go read it, as it is titled – Submission to Authorities.
After three verses dedicated to how children should obey parents, one verse is given specifically for fathers.
Verse 4 refers to fathers, so I know sometimes mothers say they are off the hook here. But the word fathers used here in Ephesians 6 is the word which is in Hebrews 11:23 which refers to parents.
If we want to transform our homes, there are important things that we as parents must also do. We also need to be obedient, obedient to God’s Word. I would also submit to you this morning, that when we talk of fathers, parents it should include teachers as you step into the substitute role of parent during school hours.
1. Encourage them
Ephesians 6: 4 ”and you, Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath”
Fathers are commanded not to agitate, discourage, or irritate their children.
How do we provoke & discourage our children: by saying one thing and doing another; by always blaming and never praising, by always complaining and never being consistent with discipline and showing favoritism in the home, by making promises and never keeping them.
If you ever want to see how not to deal with children go watch parents on the sports field or court. What you see is parents correcting the children in public and praise them in private. If we raise our families like this, we will have rebels. We must correct our children in private and praise them in public. Children don’t need critics, they need cheerleaders. This is Gods way – what did God do as his owns son’s baptism – "This is my son with whom I am well pleased"
2. Be involved
Ephesians 6:4 .. “but bring them up”
In other words, Godly parents are expected to be highly involved in raising their own children. To bring them up means that we must help them to grow in body, mind and spirit by being proactive. It is our responsibility to help them learn the right principles.
Paul tells us that there are two areas where we need to be involved.
2.1 Discipline
Ephesians 6: 4 …”but bring them up in the disciple and instruction of the Lord”
In the New King James version the word used is nurture or develop.
The “D” word here is not always popular, both because it is not fun (for the parent or the kid) and because there are some bad examples of how some ungodly, unloving fathers use it as an excuse for abuse. However, godly fathers (including God the Father) discipline out of love. When a child is insistent on heading down a harmful path, the most loving thing you can do is to correct them; it would be unloving to not provide discipline.
Students/Children, school policies and rules are here because we love you!!
That is why the Bible says that “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” (Proverbs 13:24).
a. Discipline for disobedience and not mistakes
Kids will do what kids will do. We must never punish children for mistakes. Save the punishment for disobedience and rebellion.
b. Disciple for an individual act and never as an attack on a child’s character
Discipline should be fair; when done unfairly, inconsistently, or hypocritically, it can rightly frustrate your children. Example – if a child tells a lie, that doesn’t make him/her a liar. If a child steals a ruler, that doesn’t make him/her a thieve or a robber. They have committed a sin and must be dealt with for that. One act does not make a character. As a person I am much more than the sum of my individual failures.
Do not make a mountain out of a mole heal.
The second way to be involved is by directing our children in the ways of the Lord.
2.2 Direction
Ephesians 6:4 "…bring them up in the disciple and instruction of the Lord"
Paul adds the "instruction of the Lord." We should be involved in teaching our children about God's ways through both education and example.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says that God’s Words “shall be on your heart,” and “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
Part of bringing up our children, is living out what it means to be goldy. Although our kids may fail to do what we say, they rarely fail to do what we do. They are little hypocrisy detectors, and even if they don’t say anything about it now, it will definitely show up in their behavior later.
We must teach our kids what is right. We must teach our kids the scriptures.
Parents, if we are not teaching them, they will be taught by society, social media – hold up a cellphone.
Conclusion.
Now this morning we have looked at how both children and parents have to be obedient.
God honors obedience. God always honours obedience to His Word.
One of the questions I have heard so often is how can I know how much I love Jesus?
Many people talk about their feelings and emotions towards Jesus. I’m not saying that we don’t have feelings and emotions. One cannot not have feelings and emotions when you have experienced Jesus of the Gospel. The Gospel Message and the person of Jesus must surely stir your emotions
Feelings and emotions are not the measure of your love for Jesus.
The only true objective measure we have of our love for Jesus, is our obedience to Christ. You want to know how much you love Jesus – look at how much you obey him and his Word, even when it is hard, even when it will cost you something.
John 14: 15 - "If you love me, you will keep my commandments"
John 14: 21 - "Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.”
